On the afternoon of the arrival of the Hongwu cannon, we had already clearly felt the change in the morale of the Jin army. Although it was surrounded before, it was finally in order, and now look at it. The sentries in charge of the patrol sat under cover and chatted, and only then did they reluctantly get up and walk around under the scolding and scolding of the commander.

It is normal for this to happen. Before, we had 3 million people around 800,000 of them. It's nothing more than three times as much. It's like two people fighting, one is less than 1.5 meters and the other is 1.8 meters. Although I know that it will be difficult to win, after all, both of them are human, and I can at least bite you a few times before you beat me to death. But if the opponent is Spider-Man, Batman, Iron Man, etc., if I want to see it, there is no need to be nervous and guarded.

The generals unanimously advised me to strike while the iron was hot and bombard the gold camp. I vetoed it. Because to be honest, 20 earthen cannons actually can't bring us an absolute overwhelming advantage, our real advantage is that the golden soldiers are lonely and unheard, so the later artillery bombardment is mostly deterrent, I don't want to put up 20 iron pimple cannons blunt knives to pull meat to kill 800,000 people, forcing the dog to jump off the wall in a hurry, it is not cost-effective.

But that doesn't mean I can't help it. I asked Wang Yin to make copies of a lot of leaflets. Promote the peace-loving ideas of our coalition forces, and portray their local commander Jin Wushu as a reckless soldier. For the sake of himself, he disregarded the life and death of the soldiers, and the leader of violence... The leaflets were worn on the "Terracotta No. 3" and stuffed into the cannon. Wang Yin remembered that his second grandfather had shouted to the Kuomintang army as a propaganda captain during the Kuomintang and Communist War. I also went out of my way to ask for a speech that was full of emotion and sincerity. Xiuxiu and Mao Sui took turns to read it to the opposite side.

There is also the problem of shells. This time, Zhu Yuanzhang brought me enough fire. There are also a lot of iron core bullets. But we usually use shotguns. When the coalition camp was gone, rocks, sticks and other debris were gone, I had the idea to solve this problem together with another problem that had been bothering us for a long time: household garbage.

The 3 million coalition troops produce dozens of tons of domestic garbage every day, and we have no garbage disposal site, so we can only temporarily pile them up indiscriminately, which brings a lot of hidden dangers to the lives and health of the soldiers. I simply asked Wang Basan to use this garbage as cannonballs, fill them with fire, and hit them all on the side of the Jin army.

At first, Jin Jun didn't care. Even happily, those colorful wrappers and plastics fell from the sky, not only beautiful. And many of them are also collectible, and in modern times, even female celebrities printed on instant noodles look like pornographic magazine covers. But after a long time, I felt that something was wrong, those garbage soup soups. After a long time, it emits a pungent and unpleasant smell, and it does not take half a day for mosquitoes and flies to breed, which is an absolute disaster for the military camp with a high density of troops.

So our daily life began: in the morning, the Qin army launched leaflets with the "Terracotta Warriors and Horses No. 3", and the half-hour "Good Morning of the Northern Song Dynasty" radio program, hosted by Xiuxiu and Mao Sui. Next, the Ming army will dump the garbage we all produced yesterday into the Jin army camp through the Hongwu cannon, and at noon, the "collection team" composed of Li Yuanba, Yuwen Chengdu and others will routinely go to the Jin army to challenge. They are mainly responsible for finding weapons for soldiers whose weapons do not fit well.

3 to 4 p.m. We strictly adhered to our promise of a total ceasefire, and we were able to watch the soldiers of the Kim Army on the other side come out and shoot themselves with stones. It's just that the evening program is a bit monotonous. can only unilaterally start the fire party, eat boiled instant noodles and canned food, and provoke the wolf light in the eyes of the other side... The Jin army's land grain and grass are probably stretched thin for a long time. I've seen a lot of people make a living by picking up garbage from our land. Later, I came up with a way to enrich Jin Bing's spare time, and asked Wang Yin to bring a lot of music tapes for them to play. There are "Two Springs Reflecting the Moon", "Lover Ghost Story", "Requiem" and so on. Anyway, it's the kind of song that makes people feel like they're at the end of their rope and feel homesick when they hear it.

After another two days, Jin Bing no longer looked like an army at all. Most of the time. They slept in tents that used disposable lunch boxes to mend the ground left and right, and when the time came to let the wind out. Come out and gouge something to eat yourself. At night, I continued to sit in the tent and listen to the mourning music in a daze. Loosely and fully postmodern life transformed many of these soldiers into performance artists and poets.

On the morning of the third day, a strange force composed of two people was stationed in the rear of the Tang army, and their local leader sat in a copper carriage through the Tang army and came directly to the Qin army, which was firing leaflets. Wang Ben, who was commanding the troops, was shocked when he saw this person and said, "Your Majesty!"

The fat man slowly stepped out of the carriage. Nodding slightly. Seeing this, tens of thousands of Qin troops hurriedly crawled to the ground together. shouted loudly: "Your Majesty!"

I listen to the noise outside. When I ran out and saw Qin Shi Huang, I shouted, "Brother Win." Why are you here?"

Qin Shi Huang took my hand and asked, "Crooked buns and silk (teacher) came out to touch the oil (no)?"

I said, "Not yet." I am trying to figure it out. ”

Win Fat glared at Wang Ben and said, "Why are you going back to the fourth (thing)." I'm hungry and you're going to talk about it?"

Wang Ben said in horror: "The emperor forgives the sin." ”

I hurriedly said, "It's not his fault. The situation is a bit more complicated. Let's go in and talk slowly. ”

The fat man took a bucket of instant noodles and two pieces of bread at the door of the tent, and said while nibbling, "Is the food good?" ”

I commanded that the men and horses brought by the fat man should be brought back. While saying, "No way. The buddies are all here to help, so if you don't pay people's salaries, you have to take care of it. ”

The fat man picked up the floor heating pot in the headquarters and soaked himself in it, and put the disposable fork in front of him. Asked me: "Why do you go back to the four (things) situation, they are so good to pinch the buns?"

I said, "Okay, pinch, good." It's just that the main general of the other side is a little bit of water and rice. ”

The fat man frowned and said, "Don't you want people." I'm hungry (yes) I'm worried that you won't have enough people, so come and see. If you don't have enough words, there are still 200,000 to come. ”

I was moved: "People are enough. But to be honest, we really can't do anything about them, not to mention the loss of troops. Jin Bing still has a task on his body. ”

Then the door opened. Jin Shaoyan and the second fool came in, and Jin Shaoyan saw that the fat man came in person. Moved and choked: "Brother Win..."

Win Fat Man smiled: "You are a baby, (thin)." ”

The second fool looked at the fat man, hehe, silly music. The fat man glared at him and said, "Hanging skin!"

After the arrival of Qin Shi Huang, the golden vulture finally couldn't hold his breath. I don't know how his mentality has changed, in the past, he didn't pay attention to hundreds of thousands of hundreds of thousands of troops, but now 20,000 people have touched him, which may be the last straw that so-called crushed the camel... Especially the straw of the fat man is not light.

The Golden Vulture wrote us a cold, but unruly letter. Invite me to go to the camp of the Jin Army and discuss matters related to the exchange of hostages. Although his words were rigorous and not humble or arrogant, I could still feel a kind of depression in it. This kid surnamed Wan (Yan) finally gave in. The messenger was from the same tooth general I had bribed. The Golden Vulture somehow knew what was going on between me and him. Send such a man. Obviously, there is also a gesture of goodwill.

We had a brief meeting and discussed it, and half of the generals did not agree that I would take the risk easily. Others don't care, they think that the Golden Vulture will never dare to take the lives of 800,000 people. In the end, I decided to go for myself, I had to explain the matter to the Golden Vulture and ... I really kind of miss buns.

There are a few more people who must follow. Needless to say, the second fool has to go to win the fat man. There are many places that others strongly urge to go. In the end, Tong Yuan took advantage of a place because she was a bodyguard professional, and Jin Shaoyan held my hand and didn't let go. I told him, "I promise to bring the master back, and you really can't leave, in case you are detained more than 3 million people and you are still alive to continue to fight with you." "He just gave up, of course the escort team is 300, I specially told Xu Delong not to be rash. Xu Delong said: "Don't worry, although we and Jin Wushu are enemies, but that is the matter of each of their own masters, if you want to talk about hatred, Qin Hui's kid is the most hateful." ”

So we had a group of more than 300 people, taking the Jin army prisoner Sticky Han, and set off for the Jin army's base camp in the afternoon.

On the way, I asked the tooth general who had sent the letter, "Those two girls of our land have not suffered any sin with you, have they?" I'm still very polite to him. After all, people have helped me a lot, and I am easy to remember people.

The tooth general smiled and said, "No, no, I promise." At first, I secretly sent good food to the past, but later our marshal turned a blind eye when he found out. In my opinion, the marshal of my family actually has the intention of peace talks, that is, he can't save face, especially these days, we have nothing to eat, and the two young ladies still don't dare to treat them badly. ”

The golden camp was already open, and a few soldiers were symbolically arranged in front of the gate to welcome me, and as soon as I entered, I pushed on the back of Sticky Han and said, "Go, you are free." ”

Sticky Han said unexpectedly: "You just let me go like this?"

I said, "So what do you want to do and give you a farewell party?"

Sticky Han said: "Didn't you say that you would exchange hostages, so you can rest assured that you will release me first?"

I sneered, "Who said I agreed?" It's true that you are a hostage, but you were released by us, and as for our people, there is no question of a place of exchange, even if I don't have you, I will take them back. ”

Tong Yuan clapped his hands and said, "That's good!"

I chuckled and said, "Enough guys, right?" This is my brother, my cleverness, anyway, if we 300 people enter the camp of 800,000 enemies, don't even think about bringing him back. It's also good to pretend to be a hero and have a good time. ”

Tong Yuan laughed and snorted.

Actually, I still haven't said a word... Anyway, there are more than 3 million of us outside, and the Golden Vulture doesn't want to leave our people behind, it would be too stingy to really send someone to put a knife across the neck of Sticky Han and guard the camp step by step.

Walking a little further, the Golden Vulture was already waiting there, and he saw us coming. I still want to come to the scene in a fake way, I waved my hand and said, "Hurry up." Find a place to talk about things. I got all the formalities done before dark. ”

Jin Wushu accompanied us to the big tent of the Chinese army with a gloomy face, and along the way, I really saw the current living environment of the Jin army. I saw that there were several crossbows of various types inserted horizontally and vertically in each tent, and the ground and shed were covered with colorful wrapping paper and plastic bags. Some of the potholes were filled with foul-smelling unidentified decay. People and horses stepped on it and cooed. The soldiers of the Jin Army were glazed in a trance. There are more sober people who have seen the golden vulture and know how to salute. Many people know to giggle when they see us from afar. Innocent and harmless...

What kind of barracks is this? The abstract landscape of cold weapons and modern garbage makes it look like a post-apocalyptic backdrop set by some genius director, and it's so colorful that it can make epilepsy sufferers get sick at the sight of it. It can make the poet think like a urine collapse at a glance. It is the pinnacle of postmodernity, the product of a reconciliation between God and the devil, a prophecy of the consequences of man's unbridled exploitation of the earth and its own potential... It's art!

The more he walked, the more depressed he became. In the end, he couldn't help it, glared at me fiercely and said, "It's all a good thing you did!"

I also knew that I was wrong, so I didn't speak, but I thought to myself: from the perspective of artistic rendering, it would be better if the roof could have a few more used condoms!