"The winner of the award for the worst director was...... Shao Shuaijun! From "The Night Watchman", first of all, congratulations to Shao Shuaijun, who became the youngest director in the history of our Golden Sour Plum Award to win the Worst Director Award. Shao, you take the worst director, we don't get entangled, what we are entangled with is that it shouldn't be called 'night watchman', it should be called 'night watchman', and the night watchman will be inferior when he hears the name, don't you say? ”

Shao Shuaijun walked up to the stage with a gloomy face amid everyone's applause, and with a bang, the lights of the movie theater were extinguished, leaving only a flashlight shining on Shao Shuaijun's face.

"Wow, the night watchman is on the scene, everyone applauds!"

In the applause, Shao Shuaijun took the shabby golden sour plum trophy handed by the two comedians, looking left and right, it looked like a discarded film box. The raspberries on top also seem to be shaking and about to fall. Moreover, this trophy is different from ordinary trophies, it is very small, so small that the camera is not aligned, and I don't know that you are still holding the trophy.

The flashlight was quite dazzling, and Shao Shuaijun glared: "I'm not a night watchman, and I don't haunt at night, so please turn on the lights." Or would you believe it or not, I would immediately throw this broken box on the ground and crush it? ”

The lights turned on, and Shao Shuaijun nodded with satisfaction.

"Someone just said that it was called Night Watch, and I plan to call it Night Man for a sequel."

"The night watchman is so bad, is there a sequel?" Someone in the audience shouted.

Shao Shuaijun raised his eyelids: "No matter how bad it is, it can't be "Double Suspicion", five awards." Also, remember to close the doors and windows at night and cover the mirrors with cloths, or you will have to wait for Gyllenhill to talk to you. All right. Without further ado, to be honest, in my four-year career as a director, I directed seven films, five of which were released in the United States, but I didn't win a single formal director award. In China, in the United States, in Cannes, in Berlin, in Venice, not even a nomination was given to me. I never imagined that the first international award in the director category in my life would be the Golden Raspberry Award. Look, how much did this broken box cost. $5 is enough to buy a dozen. No wonder no celebrities are willing to participate, they can't make up for the fare of a trip, and they lose a lot! ”

"Haha." The audience burst into laughter.

Shao Shuaijun continued to talk nonsense on it: "Although it is a very shabby broken box, I still want to say my acceptance speech." Ahem. First of all, I would like to thank the judges for awarding this award to me. I was excited, shocked, terrified, and uneasy. And, there is a deep urge to roar. You're so unoptimistic about "The Night Watchman"? Okay, I brought gifts for each of the judges today. ”

said. Shao Shuaijun shouted at Wang Cuicui, an assistant in the audience: "Go and let the workers move the goods, and no one can miss one piece." ”

When everyone was confused, the workers who had been waiting for a long time opened the cargo box of the truck, moved out the stacks of "Night Watchman" DVDs, and then rushed into the movie theater and scattered one by one.

Shao Shuaijun laughed on it: "Before, you said in the nomination that "The Night Watchman" was a big bad movie, so bad that no one watched it. Well, I know there's 700 people sitting in the audience today, and half of you are judges. You say that no one has watched it, you must not have seen it, and if you haven't seen it, you dare to conclude that "The Night Watchman" is not good, wow, you ruined my directorial career, I mean almost. ”

Screaming, clapping, and cheering continued.

Shao Shuaijun continued: "So, I brought you all gifts, a DVD of "Night Watchman" for each of you, oh, there are a few hardcover versions in it, a DVD with a signed poster of Gillon Hill, that's an easter egg. You must take a closer look when you go back, don't watch it at all, just say it's a bad movie. If you guys finish watching it, especially those who got the easter eggs, and feel that the movie isn't bad after watching it, I'll come here again and return this broken box to you! ”

Bang la blah.

"Haha."

There was laughter in the cinema.

Shao Shuaijun was about to step down, but suddenly remembered something: "I was a little sudden, I watched Harry at home for a long time. Berry's acceptance speech, I wish I could have been so sincere and emotional. But, as you can see, I can't help it, the DVDs have been delivered, please don't look for me again in the future, I will continue my career as a director! ”

"Finally, Thank-you-very-much!"

In a round of applause, Shao Shuaijun said the last sentence in an exaggerated ironic tone, holding the worst director award, and walked back to the stage with an embarrassed face. Wait a minute, there is also the award of Best Picture, and there is a good chance that he will walk around the stage again.

However, after Shao Shuaijun, it was the turn of "Double Suspicion" to appear.

"The one who got the worst actress was...... Lindsey. Luo Han, from "Double Suspicion", is incredible, this is already the sixth award. But I would say that we are losing money by giving them so many awards. Shao only took one item and gave us a car of DVDs, what did Chris give us? What did Lindsay give us? Tasteless, or madman-like movies? ”

"The one who got the worst on-screen partner was ...... Lindsey. Lohan and Lindsay. Luo Han, from "Double Suspicion", the seventh award, is really crazy to win the award. Oh yes, did you hear it right, I was just talking about two Lindsey. Lohan or one? The question was full of unknowns, and even our judges didn't figure out Lindsay when they saw the film to the end. Did Luo Han play one person, two people, or a pair of twins? Maybe we're just as crazy as the director and screenwriter of this movie? ”

"The one who got the worst supporting actor was...... Eddie. Murphy, from Nobit......"

"The one who won the worst supporting actress was...... Eddie. Murphy, from Nobit......"

"The one who got the worst actor was ...... Eddie. Murphy, from Nobit......"

"Wow, that's better than Lindsay. Luo Han is still crazy, can you know why the name of the three awards is the same? Obviously, the judges can't get it wrong, so you'll have to ask Eddie. Murphy, why does he appear in the leading actor, supporting actor and supporting actress, maybe this is his style, one moment a woman and one man and one moment not a man or a woman......"

"OK, happy times are always short-lived, it's the last award tonight, first of all, let's ask Shao, what is your mood now?"

The camera turned, Shao Shuaijun pretended to look at his watch impatiently: "I'm thinking, how long will I listen to your nonsense......"

"It seems that Shao can't wait to win the award."

"Well, the climax at the end, the one who got the worst film was ......"

Shao Shuaijun secretly prayed in his heart that he had already won the worst director, and he would not get the worst film again, otherwise, today would be a completely tragic day.

The award presenter paused for a moment, then chanted: "Double Suspicion, congratulations to Chris. Severcent, who won an unprecedented eight awards, is the biggest winner of the Golden Raspberry Award tonight! Haha, Shao, didn't win the award, are you disappointed? ”

Shao Shuaijun also laughed: "I want to say, I regret that "Night Watchman" failed to win this award. But I don't have the slightest feeling of jealousy, really, I sincerely congratulate Chris. Director Severcent, he deserves it, tonight's focus, congratulations! (To be continued......)