Brother......

When I was four years old, I didn't know that there was such a being, the invisible face, and the invisible hair color and body, the only thing that could be conveyed to my sensory world was sound, and this invisible thing was the most practical at the moment.

How tall will he be?

Will you grow taller than yourself?

Can't he see with his eyes?

If he can't see, does he have an eye patch too?

……

All kinds of questions were carefully and skillfully covered up just right, and the first time I saw my so-called brother, what I gave was just an indifferent distance from others.

However, perhaps only one's own subconscious mind can fully comprehend the instinctive response given by oneself, and what I do not want to admit from the bottom of my heart is jealousy of that breath.

Why, it is so pure and bright, as if even if the filth that has accumulated for many years is invaded and impregnated, this encounter does not seem to be worth mentioning, and it cannot be changed, and it is a field that I will never be able to set foot in.

Although I can't see it, even though everyone including my mother and myself have told me so bluntly, I still want to ask, is a guy like you really my brother?

At tea time, the first time we met, I just accepted it with a blank face, and then left with a blank face like an unrelated person.

There are too many questions in my heart, so I plan to find a place where there is no one to digest myself, but what I didn't expect was that this brother, who had only known each other for a short time, actually followed me shamelessly, and I. For the first time, I was cramped uncontrollably.

Can't pretend, can't be as happy so she returned to the nature of a little girl, biting her lip slightly, but still elegant and full score, such a self is obviously awkward to the point of pathology, but I must admit that I am used to this kind of subservient attitude of life.

Even though I couldn't see anything with my eyes, I still put on a posture of watching.

"Angelica." He called me like a murmur, and there was a certain pleasant and abundant throbbing in the murmur. In caution. But it's only a small part, and he's not afraid of me.

Fear?

Why did you come up with this word?

In the end, what he cares about for no reason at this time is what kind of thoughts he has about himself, or how he will deal with the relationship with himself that suddenly appears......

I wanted to make a perfunctory remark. As a result, I don't know if it's because of my own thinking at this moment that it is empty. The already thin sound melted in an instant after falling into the air. And he was so stunned that he couldn't replenish it, so he froze there.

So I got the better of it, and this was a new experience - the first time I was vague and confused.

"You're so pretty." He said so. "I'm a little embarrassed."

"I can't see what you look like." I hung my head slightly, muttered softly, put my two little hands on the skirt in front of me, and my milky white fingers were entangled in an orderly manner, as if to direct all the distractions to my fingertips.

"Want to know? Let me tell you. ”

But I can't see it......

I was secretly supporting myself in my heart, and suddenly I felt my little hand being held by a pair of soft and warm "things", and the strength was gentle, pulling my little hand up, stretching forward, and then falling on another warm and messy thing, faintly making a sound of halving.

"It's eyebrows, I know it's a bit messy, but I just forgot to take care of it today." Nervously disguised to emphasize that he is not lazy, "This is the eye, not particularly big and not particularly small, this is the nose, a little collapsed, not as good as yours, this is the mouth, pink, many people always say that this color is too much like a girl, but don't underestimate it, it can swallow a whole cream puff in one bite!" In the end, it ended with great pride.

This is the first time I know that I can "see" a person in this way, and no amount of accurate verbal description can compare to my own feelings, and I think the feelings I got from the first touch will be recorded in my life forever.

Thinking like this, the voice in my heart repeated the reminder again and again, and it seemed like some kind of deliberate echo, I can never deny the fact that he is my brother.

This year, Angelica was four years old and Xun Jian was six years old.

……

"Angelica! Angelica! I've found something good! "Jubilant does not shy away from the etiquette norms, even if there are not many waiters around, they will report my brother and me on time.

How many books did you absorb on this day, how many movements did you learn to play on this day (you can't see it but you can feel it logically), and how fast you are learning each subject...... It seems that these problems of pursuing results alone have extended to my whole life, from left to right, from one end to the other, except to obey the arrangement or obey the arrangement, and I don't seem to think of refusing or changing.

And look at his brother Xun Jian again, it is the opposite of his own existence, although he blatantly picks on the son directly, but it is not much different, but what makes him feel gritted his teeth the most is that most of the time he will not be caught.

At that time, he inexplicably insisted that someone must be secretly helping him.

"What's good?"

"This." As he spoke, he was in my hand, and I was so accustomed to his big grin that I naturally groped for speculation.

"A flower?"

"Call a flower." Xun Jian smiled and said, "Why don't you even know the most basic ...... when you study every day?"

"I'm talking about wood, branches, and branches."

Suddenly, I felt my face heat up, and I immediately lowered my head involuntarily, and my voice became even smaller than just now, "And then?" ”

"This flower is called calamus, and it's the same color as your hair! I think it looks like it, so you brought it back. ”

It's not that I'm like a flower, it's that a flower is like me.

I blushed again and avoided his gaze, "But ......"

"But what?"

"You shouldn't take it off." Although my heart was about to be filled with some kind of pleasant and happy feelings.

"No, it's Uncle Qi Jue, he used too much force to get rid of it." Xun Jian explained, and then changed to a self-talking tone, "He still doesn't admit it!" ”

……

I think that's when a relationship that was planted early on broke ground.

- I think it looks like it, so you brought it back.

This feeling that deepens and swells silently in the body......

I know you will always be my brother, the brother I love.

Even when I heard my mother's cold and solemn voice say, "You are destined not to coexist. ”

…… It's like some kind of prophecy, and I don't feel like it's listening.

This year, Angelica was eight years old and Xun Jian was ten years old.

What I don't understand yet is that one day, unintentional words may become prophecies. (To be continued......)