Later, Aunt Chen left, and suddenly disappeared one day, when she was boarding in Nanhua, one quiet Saturday afternoon, she came home, and saw that there was no one in the empty home, and in the dark she seemed to know what was going on, and ran to the basement frantically, sure enough...... They left, not even saying goodbye to her.

What does that feel like?

It was as if the last piece of beauty in my heart had been cruelly torn apart, and it was stained with blood.

Everyone doesn't want her anymore, father, Aunt Chen...... No matter how much she cried, there was no response to the empty house except for her terrible cries.

Maybe she should understand that Aunt Chen is just an aunt, her father paid for her to take care of his children, to put it bluntly, it was just a transaction, she shouldn't have too many illusions about her, let alone too much emotion.

Maybe she should understand that if she was insulted like that, anyone would choose to leave.

Or perhaps, she should even understand that in Aunt Chen's heart, she has always been a difficult young lady to serve, and she has never regarded her as a daughter.

If it were now, she would understand, but at that time she was still young, only ten years old.

Aunt Chen's departure is tantamount to being abandoned by her biological mother.

She was scared to death, she was afraid of death, she was afraid of the night, she was afraid of being alone, she was afraid of being gnawed by ghosts and eating bones in silence.

She cried for a long time, crying and her voice was hoarse, crying until there were no more tears.

She began to figure it out, or at least she understood, that surviving in this huge world was not as good as she imagined.

Some, she thinks are close relatives, but eventually leave her silently.

There are some people she obviously hates, but she has to snatch him. Like her father.

She figured out a lot that night and knew what the consequences of expecting too much were.

She lit a cigarette from her father's drawer, took a deep breath, and it didn't feel so good, coughing so badly that tears and snot flowed out with it.

But why do so many people like to smoke? She must have smoked not enough......

Learning to smoke was only the first step, and she went into exile for a long time after that. Soak in the bar on Saturdays and Sundays. At the age of ten, she pretended to be an adult, wearing a very thick costume and a very short skirt. deliberately provoked trouble, fighting, flying cars, and even taking powder......

There are no discotheques and bars in G City that she hasn't been to.

Some people may ask, didn't she always have Yunhai and Xuanmu by her side at that time? Why didn't she confide her pain in them?

Heh~ What do you want her to say?

Saying that her father violated Aunt Chen, whom she regarded as her own mother?

said she was saddened and angry about it......

No! She would never say that she would rather rot all the secrets in her stomach than tell Sù Xuanmu and Yunhai. Even if the whole world knew, she didn't want them to know.

She might even think. What would Aunt Chen do if she took her father to court, and if there were really rumors, she would be the only witness. How should she choose?

She never denied that she loved Aunt Chen, and she regarded Aunt Chen as her own mother.

Yes! "See". She knew very well in her heart that Aunt Chen was not her mother. No matter how intimate they are, this does not change the fact that they are not related in the slightest.

It's as if Aunt Chen would take her own son with her when she left, but she didn't tell her.

And her father is different, no matter how much she hates him, she can't deny that they are connected by blood and cannot be separated.

Moreover...... She needs his protection and needs to rely on his strength.

The world of adults is cruel, even cruel.

She understood it early on, but she never tried to resist uselessly, just passively accepted and obeyed their rules of survival.

Armed with a gun, the weak eat the strong.

Then the choice will be very simple, she will definitely not stand in Aunt Chen's position, and she will not become a person like Aunt Chen.

Aunt Chen is too weak, too small, doomed to fail, and she can't protect her at all.

But her father wouldn't, and for a long time she had to need the nutrients her father provided like a parasite.

And about the dark side of herself, she wrapped herself tightly like a mummy.

In the darkness, a slender white cloth was torn to wrap the pale and withered soul in a circle, and then it was heavily painted on the white cloth that wrapped the corpse, outlining brilliant colors.

At least this is the most appropriate way to describe the image she wants to disguise in front of Xuanmu and Yunhai.

She hoped that at least in front of them, she was just a simple and lovely sister.

Keeping all the ugliness and ugliness to herself, not wanting her two favorite boys to see.

Facing Yan Ran, Xia Mo occasionally had an illusion, and that feeling seemed to be facing Aunt Chen, very similar.

She also loves Yanran, and they are like sisters.

She doesn't deny that she was really using her at first, but at some point this use turned into dependence.

But if she was asked to choose between Yanran and Xuanmu, she would still choose Xuanmu without hesitation.

In fact, including herself, she was a little surprised, she didn't expect that she liked Xuanmu so much, and she had relied on the sea of clouds far more than Xuanmu for a long time.

Genki is very careless and simple, and he is a naïve and cute big boy.

Yunhai is different, he is delicate, steady and self-controlled, and he is a big brother who can give people a sense of security, and this is exactly what Xia Mo needs.

Once, Xia Mo once thought that the person she liked was Yunhai, but since Xuanmu and Yanran were together, she understood what it meant to be jealous and what it meant to be in pain.

If there is no Yan Ran...... Maybe she'll never know how much she loves Genki.

In fact, Xia Mo's idea also appeared before changing her life, but at that time she firmly believed that she loved Yunhai more, and Yunhai, known as Nanhua School Grass, was extremely popular, and many girls had a crush on him, and often girls risked being attacked by Xia Mo to openly pursue Yunhai, which also gave Xia Mo a great sense of crisis, and at the same time paid more attention to Yunhai.

But it doesn't mean that she will give up maintaining a friendly relationship with Xuanmu for the sake of Yunhai, in fact, she does want to be the girlfriend of the two of them, and she will always be pampered and protected by the two of them.

After changing his life, because of Yanran's joining, the gears of fate have changed, since he met Yanran, Xuanmu's attitude towards her has changed greatly, and many times he directly ignores her existence, only Yanran in his eyes, and this is undoubtedly a slash in Xia Mo's heart, which makes her feel unbearable, and puts more attention and emotion into Xuanmu, so that she cherishes Xuanmu more and regards Xuanmu as her favorite person.

For this reason, she can even do without the sea of clouds, not with Yanran.

Actually? Xia Mo, who is in chaos, can't tell what love is and what friendship is, she is greedy for everyone's attention and love, and once she neglects a little, it will make her feel a sense of crisis and insecurity.

That's right, she's a bad girl with princess disease, and at the same time a pathetic person who is extremely insecure.

In front of the balcony, the fireworks between her fingers were dotted and extinguished, flickering in the lonely night, and the early spring wind was very cold, blowing through her thin pajamas, biting cold.

She shuddered slightly, and wrapped her arms around herself.

Took a deep breath of the cigarette...... Spring is coming.

*******

Yan Ran thought about it and thought that the only thing she could think of was to write to him, there were some things she couldn't say anyway, but she could write them.

So she got up early, folded the written letter, folded it neatly and put it in the envelope, and then quietly walked to Xuanmu's class and put it on Xuanmu's desk.

Whew~ She took a deep breath, okay! From now on, it will depend on Xuanmu's choice.

All day, Yanran was confused, not in a state, she didn't listen to a word of what the teacher was saying, she only felt that her heart was tightly bound by dense threads, tied a lot of knots, messy, she was in a hurry to untie it, but she couldn't start, and it was difficult.

imagining all sorts of possible things in her mind, imagining how he might react, imagining how she would face Genki...... I even thought of the lines in advance.

Occasionally, she couldn't sit still, she would pretend to pass by his class after class and secretly look at his location, but she didn't see anything, his position was empty, Yunhai was not there, Xia Mo was not there, don't think about it, these people must be tired of playing together again.

But it's okay, if he finds out that she is peeping, it will be embarrassing!

I don't know when their relationship has become so strange and cramped, and they will be inexplicably nervous about a meeting.

She shook her head and warned herself not to think about it anymore, and that all the results would be revealed after the study hall tonight.

Whether it's good or bad, she will respect Xuanmu's choice.

So she spent a difficult day in panic, and finally the bell rang for the end of class, and the last evening self-study was over.

The students flocked out, and the whole school building was filled with the energetic noise of the students, and it felt like a wild horse that had been freed from its shackles in an instant, although they all knew very well that they were going back to the "cell" tomorrow morning, but still celebrated the temporary freedom.

Yanran took a deep breath, sorted out her books, and left the classroom.

In the letter, she and Xuanmu made an appointment to meet today on the asphalt road where they often walked.

They walked this road a lot, and she was even confident that she could return to the dormitory even with her eyes closed, which was full of their memories, and every tree, every street lamp recorded their trivial lives.

Here they walk and talk, here they frolic and joke, here they quarrel and cry......

The night in Nanhua is always extremely quiet, especially on such a cold night in early spring, and it is even quieter when only the wind can be heard.

The lights on both sides illuminated the road brightly, and the yellowish color shone on the two young people who were kissing, with a faint halo.

Yan Ran looked at it blankly, only to feel that all the qi and blood flowed backwards in an instant, and her head was blank.

Pale face, tears like pearls burst out of his eyes. (To be continued) R580