"I remember Ernest Hemingway once said that adjectives are unnecessary for works. What a novel wants to express is the meaning and excitement of the story, as well as deeper thinking, not the so-called adjectives, maybe these adjectives will make people feel very gorgeous, but from a practical point of view, it is simply a burden. ”

Koyanagi showed no mercy and said directly: "Your novel has this problem, I remember, Hemingway, once wrote such a sentence——"

"This is also the famous passage between the old man and the sea: the old man lowered the fishing line, raised the harpoon as high as he could, and with all the strength of his body, combined with the strength he had just mustered, he plunged it straight into the side of the fish."

"For this thrilling scene, Hemingway does not have the slightest adjective, he has achieved the most straightforward, simple, primitive, and crude, but the effect is also the best description."

"You must not think that without adjectives, there is no writing."

"The so-called writing, is the story of the article, coupled with the power of the pen, the combination of the two, is the so-called writing, if you use gorgeous rhetoric, to form a novel, maybe it will make people's eyes shine, so many unfamiliar words - it is indeed very powerful. The writing is indeed very good. But for writers, it's not writing at all. ”

"Writing is the accuracy of the words, the accuracy of the description, the control of the story, the impeccable concept, the smooth logical order, and the fluency and perfection of the text. If you can do this, it is a good writing in the true sense. ”

Koyanagi said so much and paused. continued: "You, on the other hand, are guilty of this serious problem. You have to know, you have to understand. Your novel is for the reader, not for self-appreciation, so be sure that the reader quickly understands what this story is talking about, not describing such a long description of the landscape at the beginning. ”

"Perhaps some real literary people, even if it is a simple description of the scenery, can easily see the background of the story. The location of the story, even the style of the story, and the beginning, but unfortunately, I didn't see this in your landscape description, I only saw that you were simply describing the landscape. ”

"If it's an essay, your storyboard description is undoubtedly very good. You can even get a perfect score, but if you want to put it on the novel, you just can't do it at all. ”

Koyanagi shook his head. He continued: "This must be noted, but fortunately your writing is not bad, at least in a lot of places. Although it is redundant, at least it is accurately described. But words are words. Stories are stories. You have to be clear, and there are probably some writers who like to use adjectives. However, they are completely different from you. ”

"Then there's your second question, your story, didn't make me understand, didn't have depth, didn't have an idea, didn't write what you really wanted to express to the reader. Moreover, the descriptions of some paragraphs are also inconsistent. ”

This is your third question, the logical order of the words, which is very important, and the content structure of the novel is mainly expressed by the logical order of the words. And the logical order of the text, there is also a twin, called the logical order of the plot, you don't have the best at this, I have to say that it really makes me a little helpless, the logic of the plot, is the arrangement of the story, and the interaction of the characters, so that I can't feel the sense of reality, nor can I feel the sense of substitution. I even think it's a little ridiculous, it's a little ridiculous. ”

After thinking about it carefully, that's all Koyanagi can say. It's harsh, but it's very accurate and catches the point.

I hope Mitsui Futaba will listen to it, and not disapprove it - Koyanagi looks at Mitsui Futaba.

Although Mitsui Futaba showed a somewhat helpless look, she was at least thinking about the advice given by Koyanagi, and was silent at this time, thinking about this issue.

Seeing this scene, Koyanagi breathed a sigh of relief, at least Mitsui Futaba accepted it, otherwise if he didn't accept it, he would say so much in vain.

Mitsui Futaba suddenly found that Koyanagi stopped talking, and it was obvious that he had finished speaking.

After thinking about it, she still asked, "Mr. Koyanagi, how can I solve these problems?" ”

"Write more, think more, watch more, and feel more." Koyanagi didn't think about it and said directly.

This is the experience that Koyanagi summed up in his previous life.

Listening to Koyanagi's answer, Mitsui Futaba nodded and said, "I know, thank you Mr. Koyanagi, then it's not too early, I'll go first." ”

"Hmm." Xiao Yanagi nodded and looked at the clock, it was already eleven o'clock, and unconsciously such a long time had passed.

Mitsui Futaba nodded and left Koyanagi's room.

Closing the door, Mitsui Futaba hadn't left yet, after thinking about it, he still opened the door, then looked at Koyanagi and asked, "Koyanagi-sensei, thank you for your advice, I won't admit defeat, and I will also become a writer like Koyanagi-sensei." ”

Koyanagi smiled, nodded, and didn't speak, but he was a little inexplicable in his heart, thinking that he hadn't wasted his strength, this Mitsui Shuangye was everyone's miss after all, although he had the common problem of a rookie author, but he still had some reason, and he knew that what Koyanagi said was not wrong at all.

"That...... In the future, can you help me read my novels again? With some hesitation, Mitsui Futaba still asked truthfully, looking at Koyanagi with some longing.

Xiao Yanagi thought about it, but did not refuse, it can be regarded as promoting the juniors, and then nodded.

Mitsui Futaba suddenly showed a happy and satisfied smile, happily closed the door, and then quickly left.

Koyanagi watched Mitsui Futaba leave, and couldn't help muttering: "His father, if he knows that because of me, she is going to become a "housekeeper" who doesn't do his job, what else do you think?"

I didn't think much about it, it was not early now, and Koyanagi fell asleep.

The next day, Mitsui Futaba left, and in the entire Qingxuanju, only Koyanagi and Mashiro remained.

Mashiro was too lazy to cook, so Koyanagi thought for a while and said, "Let's go eat outside." ”

Listening to Koyanagi's words, Mashiro's eyes lit up, although he studied with Misaki for so many days, and gradually learned to cook, but if he did it occasionally, it was okay, and if he did it every day, he couldn't stand it. At this time, I was naturally a little happy to go out to eat.

"What to eat? What's so delicious? Shiina asked with white eyes shining.

Koyanagi thought for a moment, and then said, "I remember that there was a French restaurant that just opened in one area, let's go eat French food." ”

"French food, I haven't eaten it for a long time, well, let's go eat it." Shiina Mashiro nodded with satisfaction: "Hurry up, Koyanagi-kun." ”

Xiao Liu touched Zhenbai's head a little helplessly: "What's the hurry, I'll change my clothes, you won't go out in this pajamas, hurry up and change your clothes." ”

"Alas~ change clothes?" Mahaku showed a somewhat troubled look, then looked at Xiaoyanagi and asked, "Koyanagi-kun can help me change my clothes?" (To be continued......)