Chapter 206
206
Thinking of this, Zhu Yushen cheered up and sat up. He said, "Su Yun, I think you should be thinking too much. As for the setbacks you have suffered one after another, it may also be a coincidence.
Also, you may not have met someone who can truly cherish you. In other words, your true destiny may not yet come. Regarding Wu Feng and Liang Xianlu, I don't think you need to be sad about them at all. Because they're playing with life all the time. As for what you said, what debts you still owe, you can also refuse, why do you have to listen to others completely?
As for Liang Ying, the situation between you and her is more complicated. But after all, she thinks you're poor first. I think that if she had been resolute in not separating herself from you at that time, that crooked mouth would definitely not have a chance. Regarding Wu Feng's insult to Liang Ying in a sprinkling way, it actually has nothing to do with you. Don't blame yourself for this.
Besides, now there are many small poles with poor conditions in all parties who have survived, and they have all become families, established businesses, and lived ordinary lives. Why can't you? ”
Zhai Suyun didn't turn around. After a pause, he said, "Teacher, you don't need to comfort me. I know my own business better than anyone else.
In fact, from the moment Liang Ying tacitly accepted the crooked mouth and asked me to quit, I was already devastated. As for later, Wu Feng came to play on the spot, it was just a beautiful and absurd episode.
But despite this, I am still a little grateful to Wu Feng. At the very least, she has a crush on me. She put me in competition with her other pursuits, and she really looked up to me.
At last. Cousin Jean came and asked me to pay off the debt I had owed to their family. After all these things happened one after another, I had no room to maneuver.
I know that when bad luck keeps coming to me, the most negative and safe way is to bear it silently. It doesn't hurt anyone, and that's exactly what I did. Because I'm so tired, I don't want to do all the necessary or unnecessary struggles.
Now, only in the dream world can I be comfortable and can temporarily ignore the difficulties in reality. Although dreams are not all pretty, they are still better than fulfilling situations in life. And. The person in the dream does not have to bear any responsibility.
After my life was completely dark. I once sleepwalked back home in the north. The home is still the same as before, and even more dilapidated than before. As soon as my parents met me, they complained about the difficulties of life at home and repeatedly stressed that I should be filial piety. They said. I still haven't done enough before. and tell me what should I do hereafter.
Later, the neighbor's aunt who came to the door asked me if I had a conversation. Because after all, it's not too young. At this time, my mother suddenly realized that I had to actively send money to the family, and not use the money for the person to talk to.
Mother said. That's not going to work. Since our family is too poor, we can't rush this matter. Only by making life better at home can we consider these things. Isn't there a lot of big and small singles in our village who delay their own affairs just to take good care of their families and fulfill their filial piety to their parents?
Mother told me to think about where people came from. She said that life is given by her parents, and if she understands this, what else is it?
Later, my parents chattered to me about the daughter of a certain family in the village who earned a lot of money outside the home, allowing her parents to live the life of a high-class person. Therefore, the family raised their eyebrows in the township, which made our family and those who raised useless children jealous.
and a certain son, although he didn't mix well, but deceived a girl with good qualifications from the outside to come back, and the woman's family returned the money to their family, and so on. They asked me, "Why don't I have that ability?" Even half of someone's house is fine!
It is undeniable that I was embarrassed and ashamed of myself at home by them, and it also made me completely subvert my previous thoughts.
Before this, when I was dating Liang Xianlu and Wu Feng, they once said that when it comes to solving personal problems, my family can't help, it's really useless and very scoundrel.
Liang Ying's parents also said the same. Because the crooked mouth and the men that Liang Xianlu and Wu Feng talked about all have a solid family background. In contrast, my birth and background are very despised by them.
As for Cousin Jean, since she and I are cousins, of course she knows everything about our family. She once said that she never saw me as a normal person. In her eyes, my family and I are garbage, and we are not qualified to talk about normal life rights. So, no matter how bad her situation is, she won't think about giving me anything out of sympathy for me.
They used to say that, and I once lamented that I was from a bad background. And regret that there is no better opportunity to enter, so as to change your fate and win the respect of others.
However, when my parents said this, I was completely sober, and my thinking was very different from theirs. Perhaps, I really shouldn't have complained about anything at home. Because I owe so much to my family and my parents.
Their thoughts and statements are similar to those of Cousin Jean when she came to ask for a debt, and since what she said is true, there is no reason why I should not agree. Even though these things would lead to a complete collapse of my own, there is no way to avoid it.
When I got back from home, I was devastated. I turned down all other activities. Outside of work, I went to the shore of the lake alone and meditated on the water.
That's why I discovered the depth of the water. And vaguely feel that there are resentful eyes blinking in the water, and there are geists sleeping or swimming.
Perhaps, I was a person abandoned by love, just like the child left by Cousin Jean and the child photographed by the photographer. We are the type of people who have nothing but despair about life. He also owes a lot of debts, and most of them live to pay off their debts.
I now finally understand why Zhai Erbao did that in the first place, because his spirit had already collapsed. He and Zhai Fang were originally a consensual and happy couple, but they were bluntly dismantled by powerful secular concepts.
They were viciously abused and intimidated by their loved ones for so long. They were exhausted. The suffering of this world has reached unbearable levels, and the future is uncertain, and there is no hope in sight. This is the great sorrow of life.
I think Zhai Erbao's spirit at that time was in a trance and numb. So on that winter morning, his father struck him with such a thick stick, and he didn't dodge at all, and he didn't cry out in pain.
At that time, his body was beaten bloodied by his father, and in any case, his mother and younger siblings should have stepped forward to stop his father, who was on the verge of madness.
But. Her mother's mind was also full of thoughts of righteous annihilation. Not only did she not persuade her father. is still scolding him on the side, saying that it is enough to kill this useless scourge. His younger siblings also felt that their brother was a sinner and should be punished severely. None of them spoke for Zhai Erbao.
So when his father was tired, Zhai Erbao got up and went straight to the firewood room to pick up the pesticide and drink it. It was all happening right under the noses of their family. Later, I heard from his younger siblings. That's when they felt that their parents had overdone it.
But at that time they were young because of their young age. Wet behind the ears. was stunned by the scene in front of him, so he didn't step forward to stop his scarred brother from drinking potion to commit suicide and what happened later. Of course, this is also something that they will regret for the rest of their lives. What happened after that was even more tragic.
I know that the potion we use there isn't really very strong. People drank it. If you can get timely treatment, your life will not be in danger. There is an example of Murakami who drank and was rescued.
However, what Zhai Erbao was waiting for was not the panic of his family and timely treatment. All he waited for was that while he was twitching and struggling, his parents brought a quilt and covered his head, telling him to die quickly.
According to his younger brother later, when Zhai Erbao was convulsed, after seeing his parents holding the quilt and saying that they wanted to cover him, he did not move and closed his eyes peacefully. Then he barely struggled or resisted under the quilt, and before leaving, he was so calm! He was finally relieved.
His younger siblings later told us about Zhai Erbao's short life, which was also a sad thing. Zhai Erbao is the eldest in the family, and when he was very young, he dropped out of school and went out to work hard with the adult labor force. Over the years, almost all of the money he earned was used to support his family.
There is no way around it, because the place where we were born was so poor. If there are not one or two people in the family who are working hard outside to earn money, there is no way to live at home.
Zhai Erbao and I are in a somewhat similar situation. He and Zhai Fang were also so hot in love, and vowed to spend this life together. But as a result, he could not survive the cruelty of the world.
It can be seen that the love of a young man and woman, no matter how vigorous it may seem to them, is actually very fragile. The same is true between me and Liang Ying, and there are many other examples around me. So I realized that love needs a reason. If there is no reason, this love will not last long, or it will end in tragedy.
Zhai Erbao left peacefully on that winter morning, however, Zhai Fang's ordinary life was still going on. It's like, I'm desperate and desperate here; But Liang Ying and Crooked Mouth's life has just begun.
Although Wu Feng insulted Liang Ying, she definitely had to settle this account on my head. Therefore, she can make up her mind to get along with the crooked mouth well, and she has no regrets.
It's really possible that one day, I will take an extreme way to pay off the debt, and then I will be relieved.
In short, from myself and from the examples mentioned above, it is not difficult to see that the tragic fate of men is far greater than that of women. Although there are a lot of men who are beautiful and shouting, there are always some men who will eventually fall into a situation from which they will never recover. Life has been a complete ordeal for them. This is what their makers - their parents did not expect when they made them.
The indulgence of some people without regard for the consequences, and the snobbish escape of some women later, is already brewing disaster. The tragedy of men can also be illustrated by a historical example.
Li Ziyuan, the leader of the rebel army in the late Ming and early Qing dynasties, was originally a small clerk in the system, but because of his mistakes, he was briefly imprisoned. At this time, he not only lost his job, but his wealthy wife was also taken by a rich man. After he was released from prison, he was in terrible condition, with no way to earn a living and a minimum of life. This is on a material level.
In addition, the current situation on the spiritual level is enough to make him desperate and collapse. After being released from prison, he found his wife and hoped that she would return to him. However, the woman who had become someone else's concubine had become accustomed to the privileged life of the rich family, and she did not want to come back. Moreover, after being released from prison, Li Zicheng's situation was not as good as before. When she comes back with him, it means that she has to endure a hard life with him.
This is a clear matter of avoiding the high and the low. After all, people tend to be happy and avoid suffering, and it is normal that this woman can't come back. All of this seems to be very reasonable, but it is enough to make Li Zicheng, a tough guy, go to extremes.
This is a typical man's tragedy. If it were an ordinary person who had no ability, he would either scream and jump, or sigh silently. In any case, he will be the only one who will bear all the disasters alone.
But Li Zicheng was not an ordinary person, and later he was the commander of a million-strong army, which shows that he was a very potential person at that time. When he was desperate, Li Zicheng defected to an extremist organization in the field, began his career as a rebel, and became a member of that organization. Of course, later he sneaked back to kill people and set fires, venting his previous grievances.
When the team grew, he recruited many people who were similar to him. If the mind is particularly sufficient, it will act as his think tank; Those who are strong have become warriors who kill fiercely. In short, most of their rebellion was to vent at the beginning. I can't live in the existing society, so I just go out and do it.
Therefore, the desperate person either dies of suicide; Either it will cause disaster for society. Of course, the latter will end up in the world, but it will just make a fuss for a while. But that's not something anyone desperate can do.
I'm a useless person myself. Desperate and broken, it is not easy to find a confidant to talk to. You see, in the end, I told the teacher about these troubles. Hey, I'm such a useless person, I've disgraced you......"
At this time, Zhu Yushen's head was already hurting badly. As for what Zhai Suyun said later, he didn't want to hear it clearly. When he couldn't help it, he told Zhai Suyun that he was too tired and wanted to rest for a while.
Zhai Suyun came to his senses at this time, and he hurriedly made a bed for Zhu Yushen and settled him to sleep. Zhu Yu slept in a daze for more than an hour. When he woke up, he was about to take his leave. Later, it was Zhai Suyun who drove him back on a battery car. (To be continued......)