She couldn't forgive herself
At Fang Yichen's funeral, Su Luoyan met Mei Xiaoyuan. Mei Xiaoyuan has always been standing on the periphery, and after hearing that something happened to Fang Yichen, she still feels very sad. Even if two people come together without fate, the sweetness of the past will still make people can't help but reminisce. No one around knows her, and she doesn't need to appear in everyone's field of vision, but the loneliness in her heart arises spontaneously.
She didn't know that Su Luoyan had recovered her memory, but she believed that now Su Luoyan must know everything that had happened before. However, she didn't set her eyes on Su Luoyan's body, the man she once loved deeply could be like a stranger, but now it is separated by yin and yang, and time is so hurried.
When Su Luoyan turned around, she saw Mei Xiaoyuan standing there, she was still so elegant, wearing delicate and elegant makeup, but there was something sad between her eyebrows and eyes. Su Luoyan didn't know why Mei Xiaoyuan appeared here, but there must be a reason why she appeared.
She walked towards Mei Xiaoyuan, neither of them spoke, just looked at each other quietly. Between the two of them, there is the entanglement of two men. If there was no Su Luoyan's appearance, Mei Xiaoyuan would not have missed too far from Fang Yichen, and if there was no Mei Xiaoyuan's existence, Su Luoyan would have gone further with Leng Yunhao. This is fate, and once many things are reversed, it is impossible to change.
"You're here too." Su Luoyan stood beside Mei Xiaoyuan, her eyes still staring at the tombstone that had just been raised, and it was her husband who was lying there, even if it was only a nominal husband and wife, but that man had a fate with her in the mortal world. She didn't have time to think about what had happened recently, she just felt that there was too much congestion in her heart.
"Surprised, wasn't it?" Mei Xiaoyuan is also faint. Her gaze fell on the tombstone, the three words on which she was familiar. Even if you don't love it, when you see those three words again, you will still be shocked and surprised in your heart. She thought again, what changed this fate, was God playing tricks, or people were too naΓ―ve to understand God's arrangement?
"There's nothing surprising, you must know Yichen. He will be glad if you come. Su Luoyan said with a detached eyebrow. After dealing with these things, she is also leaving. No matter what kind of entanglement there is between these people, she just wants to let go now and take the child alone away from the hustle and bustle.
"Of course, when I met him, you didn't know where Lu Dao was, but I don't know if Lu Dao Yichen mentioned his first love to you." Mei Xiaoyuan looked at Su Luoyan with a meaningful smile. Even if she is destined to be a loser, she must maintain the pride in her heart.
"Zhilu Dao, you gave Yichen a watch, and he kept it on his hand. Presumably, this should be very important to him. Su Luoyan ignored the arrogance in Mei Xiaoyuan's tone, she just stated such a fact very calmly. Of course, she didn't tell Mei Xiaoyuan that her fate with Fang Yichen was because of the appearance of that watch.
There was a hint of astonishment on Mei Xiaoyuan's face, not long ago, Fang Yichen denied everything, he said that he was just playing with her in love, and he said that he had never loved her at all. At that time, Mei Xiaoyuan was very depressed and even very aggrieved. Even if you are not loved now, you can't deny the love you had before.
But this man easily denied everything, she hated this man for deceiving her feelings at the beginning, and she was stupid to believe it, and then rushed back thousands of miles to continue this fate. Therefore, after Fang Yichen said such heartless words, she began to erase the traces of this man's visit in her memory.
She didn't expect that this man had always cherished the watch he gave him, and she didn't expect that this man was actually duplicitous. What was so beautiful in the past cannot be erased by denying it in a sentence or two. She clearly remembered Fang Yichen's fiery eyes, but why didn't she remember anything at that time?
Are people like this, often denying themselves and rejecting others? At least at this time, when Su Luoyan said this, Mei Xiaoyuan was shocked. She took a closer look at the grave not far away, the newly erected tombstone, on which his name was impressively written.
"Actually, Yichen has always loved you. It's just that he doesn't want to admit it. I didn't really have anything to do with him, just a nominal marriage. If you come back earlier, maybe you will be the one who will go on happily with him. I'm sorry, I hurt him. β
Su Luoyan still said so calmly, she didn't want to use too many words to express her feelings about what happened before. It's all come to this point, and there's nothing left in her heart except guilt. How good it would be if everything could be done all over again, she thought that if Fang Yichen knew that Mei Xiaoyuan would come back one day, then he would definitely insist on waiting.
Mei Xiaoyuan was silent, this was the most shocking word she had ever heard. Although these words did not come from Fang Yichen, she was convinced. If he really doesn't love himself, then there is no need to cherish a watch that is not expensive, and if he really does not love himself, there is no need to go around asking for news about himself.
In the past, she would complain in her heart that Fang Yichen didn't wait for herself well, and she married and had children with an ordinary woman like Su Luoyan, but now, she seems to understand this man. Everyone is afraid of the cold and longs for warmth, Fang Yichen at that time must have been cold to the extreme, he just longed to be close to a fire, and he chose Su Luoyan.
As for whether he has ever loved Su Luoyan, Mei Xiaoyuan doesn't want to pursue this question. It's been so long, there's no point in worrying about it anymore. A certain string in the bottom of my heart was easily plucked like this, to the point of no return. She didn't know what was going on with her, and her heart was already in a mess at the moment.
Tears flowed from her eyes, and the tenderness in her heart was still easily touched. Even if I don't love it anymore, I still loved it deeply.
At this time, Leng Yunhao walked over to this side, and when he saw Mei Xiaoyuan and Su Luoyan standing together, his heart was full of worry. That woman was so terrifying, she had already hurt Su Luoyan once, and he said that if she dared to get close to Su Luoyan, then he would definitely kill her.
"What are you doing here, leave right now." Leng Yunhao appeared in front of Mei Xiaoyuan and shouted. He would not allow this woman to get close to Su Luoyan, and he would not allow her to use any more tricks to harm Su Luoyan. Mei Xiaoyuan slowly set her eyes on Leng Yunhao, this excellent man, now for Su Luoyan, has pointed the finger at her.
"Yun Hao, don't worry, I won't hurt Luo Yan. I'm just saying goodbye to her, I'm going back to England in a few days, and I'll never disturb your life again. Mei Xiaoyuan reached out and wiped the tears from the corners of her eyes, and then a bleak smile appeared on her face. She didn't want to say anything more about her imminent departure.
This seems to be a farce, if she hadn't come back from the UK, then she would still have a beautiful memory, but when she came back, she did a lot of stupid things, hurting Su Luoyan and Leng Yunhao. Now, the man she once loved the most has been buried in the ground, so she should be satisfied, right?
"Xiaoyuan, don't say that, we've always been good friends, haven't we? You didn't do anything to hurt us, don't think like that. Su Luoyan reached out and held Mei Xiaoyuan's hand, even if there were so many misunderstandings between the two of them, but at this time, she didn't want to give up such a friendship easily.
"Luo Yan, Xie Lu, thank you for saying this, but I have always treated you as a friend. Besides, I'm afraid the two of us won't be friends. The two most important men in my life have been snatched away by you. I will not forgive you, nor will I bless you. Mei Xiaoyuan shook off Su Luoyan's hand, and there was still a faint smile on her face.
Su Luoyan was stunned there, and for a while she didn't know what to say, Mei Xiaoyuan looked like this, which made people feel distressed when they saw it. She knew that if it weren't for her appearance, then Mei Xiaoyuan would be with Fang Yichen. She is not a fool, she has long seen that Mei Xiaoyuan is interesting to Leng Yunhao, at least Shen Yuqing's side has already acquiesced to Mei Xiaoyuan's existence.
How uninteresting she should be, standing in front of Mei Xiaoyuan alive, preventing this woman from pursuing happiness. Su Luoyan felt a little guilty in her heart, she felt that she should have told Mei Xiaoyuan earlier that she was leaving. She was ready to deliver Leng Yunhao into her hands.
"Xiaoyuan, don't leave, okay? It doesn't matter if you hate me or you hate me, don't leave in such a hurry, okay? If it weren't for Leng Yunhao standing there, she would definitely say everything she was thinking. However, she was worried that as soon as she spoke out, Leng Yunhao would lose her mind again.
"Leaving is my thing. I don't like this city, and there are no people I like in this city now. So, you don't have to keep me. When Mei Xiaoyuan said this, she glanced at Leng Yunhao with her eyes, and this man did not have any interest in her words.
"Luo Yan, don't waste your tongue with this kind of person, let's go back." He stretched out his hand and wanted to wrap his arms around Su Luoyan's shoulders and leave, for an arrogant and domineering woman, he felt that there was no need to waste his tongue. And when Mei Xiaoyuan heard this, she showed a trace of loneliness in her heart.
"Yun Hao, don't say that, okay? I'm the one who is leaving, and I'm going to be very sad if you talk to me like that. You don't like me, but I've always liked you. Although I don't like Luo Yan, I still hope that the two of you will be happy together. Su Luoyan, you are not my friend, I have handed over the two men I like to you, and now if you are not good to Leng Yunhao, I will definitely not let you go. β
Mei Xiaoyuan said with a serious face, with a ridiculous but shocking expression, which made people feel only pain in their hearts. With that, she turned and left, not lingering any longer. The back of the wound has been diffusing under Su Luoyan's eyes. However, no one knew that when she turned around, stubborn tears still slipped from the corners of her eyes. The two men she had finally fallen in love with were now going to disappear from her world forever.
"Luo Yan, let's go, don't listen to what this crazy woman says. Are you going to trust me? You are the only one in my heart. Leng Yunhao took Su Luoyan's little hand and said with a serious face. He has never accepted Mei Xiaoyuan's wrong love, and he doesn't know which tendon is wrong with that woman.
If it is Lin Yuan Xianyu, then it is really unnecessary, at least in his opinion, it is meaningless. He will not be tempted by a woman because of her curiosity. will not be impressed because Mei Xiaoyuan got his mother. He lives for himself, and his feelings must be controlled by himself.
"Yun Hao, don't say that about Xiaoyuan, okay? It's not easy for her. You go back first, I want to stay here alone for a while. Su Luoyan looked up at Leng Yunhao and said softly. So much had happened, and she never seemed to have time to clear her mind.
Fang Yichen chose such a broken way to leave, which made her fall into a guilty mood. She had always blamed herself, if she hadn't said such a ruthless thing that day, then Fang Yichen would definitely not have made such a move. Seeing Old Man Fang's old appearance, the pain in her heart had already spread.
She didn't know about Mei Xiaoyuan and Fang Yichen before, but just now, she knew that Mei Xiaoyuan was Fang Yichen's first love, but because of her existence, the pair of former lovers were also missed. She didn't know what she had done to make so many people change because of her.
and Leng Yunhao, if she hadn't appeared at the beginning, then Leng Yunhao and Su Ruolin must have lived very happily, a person like her is a broom star, and she should stay in prison for the rest of her life. She is the Pandora of the world, and whenever she appears, there will be bad luck there.
None of this was what she wanted. Seeing that the people around her have become so unhappy because of her existence, she is full of guilt in her heart. She didn't ask for much, she just hoped that they wouldn't change because of their existence. She cherishes so much wrong love, but she doesn't have enough courage to accept them one by one.
"Alright then, I'll wait for you outside." Leng Yunhao said, took off his coat, and then put it on Su Luoyan's shoulder. Seeing this thin woman haggard like this, he felt very uncomfortable in the bottom of his heart. wants to accompany her to experience such pain, but her own existence seems to be a pain for her. All he could do was stand by from afar, walk up to her when she needed it, and deliver blessings to her.
Su Luoyan has been standing there for a long time, she rarely has a common language with Fang Yichen, even if the two of them are married, they rarely speak. She stubbornly immersed herself in her own world, excluding him. But at that time, Fang Yichen could only linger outside the door. He was very good to her, giving her the space and time she wanted, thinking that only in this way could he arouse Su Luoyan's love for him.
However, he did not have the opportunity to wait for that day to come, so the beautiful hopes were over. Su Luoyan thought, it must have been his indifference that hurt Fang Yichen at that time, otherwise, a good sunny and handsome boy would not become so moody.
It seems that feelings are really a terrible thing, and sometimes they turn into a sword to hurt the people around them. She shouldn't have agreed to Fang Yichen easily, and she shouldn't have taken advantage of his sincerity because of his momentary kindness. Because of her selfish thoughts, she made this man pay such a big price.
Su Luoyan couldn't forgive herself, she took a human life, which made her heart hurt and could no longer hide it. If she could, and thought that everything could be repeated again, then she would definitely choose to leave completely, rather than go near the warmth because she was afraid of the cold.
Yichen, I decided that I was leaving. Thank you for giving me so much love, I am grateful and grateful. Just hurt you, I can't forgive myself all the time. It's all my fault, so I'll be left alone to accept this punishment. I won't marry Yun Hao, although I have always wanted to be his bride in my heart, and I hope you must be happy when you go to the world over there. Xiaoyuan has always loved you very much, you must remember her.
After this incident, Su Luoyan became a lot more silent, Leng Yunhao could only accept her silence, he knew that even if there was no love between Su Luoyan and Fang Yichen, but after the two of them had been together for a long time, many things would change. Mao Mao followed Su Luoyan to Lin Xi, so now, Lin Xi has become the most lively place.
He was just waiting, waiting for the day when this knot in Su Luoyan's heart would open, and at that time, he would definitely hold her hand and give Su Luoyan and Maomao a warm family. That kind of hope-like thought will make a person feel happy, so when Su Luoyan was about to go to Shen Yuqing, he didn't notice it at all.
Regarding Su Luoyan's visit, Shen Yuqing was a little surprised. But she was a cultivated person, and she still politely received Su Luoyan's arrival. It's just that kind of politeness and detachment that always makes people uncomfortable at the bottom of their hearts. She doesn't like Su Luoyan, this woman is carrying too many things, she is a mother, and she is afraid that this woman will end up hurting her son.
"Luo Yan, let Mao Mao go home and live, after all, he is the blood of the Leng family, so it's better to stay here. You have just experienced the loss of a father, so take care of your rest. Shen Yuqing's light tone seemed to remind Su Luoyan intentionally or unintentionally, she had to remember that she was a married person, even if she gave birth to Leng Yunhao's child, Shen Yuqing still couldn't accept this woman to enter the door of the Leng family.
She wants to maintain the reputation of the Leng family and preserve the face of the Leng family. Even if this matter is a harm to Leng Yunhao and Su Luoyan, she has to let this matter continue to develop at such a pace.
Su Luoyan sat there with a faint expression all the time, and when she decided to come to Shen Yuqing, it was because she was ready to leave. She was going to leave from this place and no longer stay by Leng Yunhao's side. Having hurt so many people, she can't continue to be this executioner.
"Auntie, I understand what you said, I'm sorry, I was ignorant before, that's why I caused you so much trouble. Maomao is my child, no matter how much he has to do with the Leng family, I will take him by my side. I hope you understand. β
Su Luoyan said slowly. She had already thought about it when she came, no matter what Shen Yuqing thought, she would not hand over Maomao to anyone. That is the closest person she has in this world, even if she is destined to suffer a lot in the future, she will take that child to endure it together.
"How can that be? Mao Mao is the blood of the Leng family, and I don't allow such a thing to happen. Luo Yan, you also have to think about me, I only have a son like Yun Hao, I am so old that I can't afford to toss anymore. I know that you and Yun Hao have a good relationship, but being together is not a problem that can be solved by having a good relationship. β
Shen Yuqing frowned slightly and said. At this time, Su Luoyan had no choice but to remain silent. This kind of compromise and concession, she still can't do. She can give up Leng Yunhao and give up her love, but she can't even abandon her own flesh and blood. Whatever you have to go through, it's better than losing a loved one.
"Auntie, don't worry, I'm here to say goodbye to you, and I'll leave in a few days. I won't let Yun Hao find mine. Maybe it was a mistake for me to know him, so don't continue. I will definitely take Maomao, please respect my choice. I will raise him to adulthood and will definitely not disappoint your expectations. β
Su Luoyan said solemnly. She wasn't joking, and there was no chance of backing down. When she decided to go alone, she thought of all the ways out. Even if you love Leng Yunhao no matter how much you love it, many things have already passed, so it can only be old things.
"Well, since this is your choice, then I can only respect it. Also, does Yun Hao know about this matter? You also know that Yun Hao, this kid, is too emotional. Shen Yuqing's words were not finished, and the meaning she wanted to express, Su Luoyan was clear. She didn't say anything, but she understood it from the bottom of her heart.
PS: This chapter is 6000+ words, and today's update content has been uploaded. Welcome all of you who like to murmur to actively discuss the plot and characters in the comment area. The next chapters are more exciting, so stay tuned!