Qiao Jinglian's eyes turned red all of a sudden, he really didn't know how to describe this mood, it was like taking out his heart, putting it in the oil pan and frying it was just that, he looked at Zijin crying as if he was about to hold his breath, and his emaciated face was full of tears, like a hideous little crab, crawling on it meanderingly.

He pursed his lips tightly, his heart ached, but he still reached out, his trembling fingers gently helped her wipe away her tears, he hugged the fragile woman into his arms, but he didn't know how to comfort her was the best, he could only feel that her tears kept pouring out of her eyes, and then soaked his white shirt.

Qiao Jinglian's thin lips squirmed, and she didn't say anything at the end, just quietly and gently helped her brush her long black hair, squatted in front of her like this, and let her lie on her shoulders and cry as much as she wanted.

It's good to cry.

What he is most afraid of is that she is silent, suppressing all her emotions in the depths of her heart, and the doctor is afraid that she will not be good for the fetus like this, and now she can finally cry, and it will be good if she has cried.

Zijin is really uncomfortable, it's not that she doesn't want to shed tears, it's because she has always felt that Gu Yanshen is not dead, he won't just leave himself and leave, she doesn't believe it, so why should she cry for Lu?

But waiting is the most torturous thing in this world.

In the past so many days and nights, she was almost slowly piling up more despair on top of despair, and when she suddenly heard this song today, she felt that those clear words were just laughing at her lonely self.

It turned out that Gu Yanshen was not by her side, the entire world was so quiet, and she was so embarrassed.

Don't he want her anymore?

Is he really gone?

She couldn't stand it anymore, all her emotions were like a flood that burst the embankment, coming fiercely, crushing her self-deception, making her completely collapse, she couldn't cry, her hands tightly grasped Qiao Jinglian's waist, that place, she used to like to hold that man's waist so much, at that time he was still smiling gently, and said to himself with evil spirit - Zijin, you like to catch me here, the shirt has made you scratch the traces, change the place for you to grasp it, okay?

…………

She was like she had been electrocuted, the whole person reacted suddenly, and reached out to push Qiao Jinglian away, but because the action was too strong, and she didn't have much strength, the whole person lost her balance and fell back, Qiao Jinglian hurriedly reached out and grabbed her, "...... Zijin. ”

"Don't, don't touch me, don't come here......"

"Zijin, it's my ......"

"Don't ...... Don't ......" she shook her head, her vision was already blurred, and the entire world seemed to have been subverted, and she couldn't see any colors anymore, and the gloom made her uncomfortable, "...... He doesn't like me to get too close to other men, if he knows the truth, he will definitely be angry, I don't want him to be angry, when he is by my side, I always feel that he will always be by my side, even if he leaves me one day, maybe he will be in a corner of the world, I never thought that one day he would really be like this...... Leave me alone. That's why I'm so unscrupulous...... Did you say he was angry? He was also ...... before Angry, suddenly went to England, is he also angry now......"

"Zijin!"

Qiao Jinglian got up abruptly and pulled her up, he hugged her slender waist with one hand, the originally slender waist, at this time, his fingers pinched, as if he could be pinched, and his heart hurt even more, but he still had to pull her to the door, "You come with me, I'll take you somewhere." ”

"I don't want to go-"

Zijin struggled and shook his head, "I don't want to go anywhere, I'm going to wait for him here, he will come back, Yanshen will definitely come back!" I don't want to go ......."

"Zijin! You don't want to do that, okay? Gu Yanshen is dead! He's dead! He was killed by a bomb! He's not coming back! You're right, he might be watching us from the sky, can you sober up, he-"

There was a "snap", a crisp sound, which forcibly interrupted Qiao Jinglian's words.

"Zijin ......" Qiao Jinglian's face skimmed to the side, in fact, it really didn't hurt much, and it wasn't the first time he had been slapped by her, how much strength can a woman have? What's more, her current strength is even worse than usual.

But he felt uncomfortable in his heart, and what was uncomfortable was to see her resolute eyes, and the words she said word by word behind her—

"I said, Gu Yanshen is not dead, Yanshen is not dead! I don't want you to talk about him again, I don't want you to hear it?! ”

"You fight."

Qiao Jinglian sighed lightly, smiled self-deprecatingly, threw her face in front of her, and whispered: "Zijin, no matter how many times you hit me, I won't feel pain, but I will still feel uncomfortable in my heart, but what truth can you change if you beat me?" Gu Yanshen is dead, how many times have you beaten me, I still have to say, I have to let you accept this fact, do you know the truth? In your belly, there is a child! When will you go so masochistic? Look at you - you come with me! ”

He grabbed Zijin's hand, ignored her struggles and resisted, and dragged her to the full-length mirror in the bedroom, where two figures suddenly appeared

All of Zijin's struggles suddenly stopped, and the ...... in the mirror Is it still her a pale, thin, and haggard-looking woman?

Those big dark eyes, but at this time, they were red and a little swollen, and the face that was originally delicate and full of aura was even more devoid at the moment.

She didn't know what to do, and she tossed herself like this.

Qiao Jinglian pressed her shoulders with both hands, then pointed to Zijin in the mirror, and said, "Look at you, Zijin, your belly is only less than 3 months old, and the baby really needs nutrition, but how are you tossing this child?" Do you really think that except for one Gu Yanshen in this world, there is no one else who can let you live a good life? So what about this? Isn't this kid worthy of your strong life? For your own sake, for your children, and - big brother he wants you to live well, so live, okay? ”

Child......

Child......

Yes, she has to forget that she is pregnant, this child is her and Gu Yanshen's, but she has been torturing this child......

Qiao Jinglian was already touched when she saw her eyes, took her hand again, and said, "Zijin, I'll take you somewhere." ”

…………

Sea.

The blue sea, as far as the eye can see, seems to be connected to the horizon.

Zijin was pulled out of the car by Qiao Jinglian, and what she saw was such a picture, in fact, it was really beautiful, the blue sea, the blue sky, she didn't know how much she had never breathed such fresh air, because she was standing here, so her breath seemed to be oozing with a wet and salty taste, but it didn't make people feel disgusted at all.

The sea breeze that blew on her face ruffled the hem of her skirt, and her long hair, and she stood there, motionless.

"I've had things that I couldn't do before, and I'm going to come here."

Qiao Jinglian looked at her side face and said, "Zijin, you learn from me, shout to the sea what you want, but you don't dare to say, you will feel very comfortable." ”

“…………”

"In fact, people will encounter too many things in this life, I know that in this world, in addition to life and death, what is not a trivial matter? But the dead are a hundred, but the living have to endure countless sufferings, and this is the hardest, right? ”

“…………”

At that time, I suddenly had a half-brother, but he was better than me, and I came here, and I shouted to the sea: "I hate this man so much, why is he my brother?" ”

"At that time, I really had a feeling that I was both born and bright. Later, I was betrayed by Xie Lingxi, I still came here, I felt like a fool, I looked glamorous, as if I had everything, but in the end, I was just a fool, I didn't know anything. But when you divorced me, I was the saddest. But I didn't come at that time, I hid this thought in my heart, I know that I am too far away from you, sometimes I am really reluctant to shout out this sadness, I know that as soon as I shout out, it seems that there is nothing. ”

"Zijin."

Qiao Jinglian gently pinched her shoulder blades, leaned around her back, and whispered in her ear: "Today I want to shout out all these sadness, you also follow me, and when you turn around, you will definitely find that your life has turned a new page." ”

"Come, say whatever you want, you can say to it."

Zijin has been listening quietly, Qiao Jinglian said that after the last word, what did those words mean, in fact, Zijin knew very well in his heart, no matter how sad and sad, he would not feel what a man's concern for a woman represented.

Actually, really, he didn't have to do that at all.

Zijin gently pushed his hand away, she didn't shout anything to the sea as he said, but turned around calmly, looked at Qiao Jinglian, and said, "Xie Lu, thank you for everything you have done for me, maybe for any of you, Yan Shen is really ...... It's that I've always refused to accept this reality, but I now know that he is not dead in my heart, he has always lived in my heart, and I have been living these days...... It must have caused you a lot of trouble, Jinglian, I really thank you, but I don't want to turn over a page related to Gu Yanshen in my life. I want to keep him, no matter where he is, he will always be in my heart. ”

"Don't worry, I won't abuse myself again, let alone my baby."

She stretched out her hand, and her movements gently covered her lower abdomen, "You're right, this is my child with Yanshen, I will take care of it, for the sake of the child." ”

…………

In the following time, Zijin was really as she said - good for the sake of the child.

She began to eat on time, take medicine on time, and everything seemed to be so fine, and slowly returned to normal, but only she knew how the pain that penetrated deep into her bone marrow when she couldn't sleep at night was tormenting her.

She was in pain, but she couldn't cry out, she wanted to cry, but she couldn't.

But no matter how deep the pain is, it will probably slowly become a habit and become natural over time.

…………

When her belly reached 4 months, it was already slightly bulging, and her figure was relatively petite, which showed her belly. Probably because she is usually very careful, so the fetus is developing very well.

Tao Wantian and Shen Dongming's bodies have also returned to normal, and now they come to see her every day, go to class every week, and then have prenatal checkups and the like, these are all accompanied by Qiao Jinglian, and she just started to refuse a few times, but Qiao Jinglian said every time - the eldest brother told me before, let me take good care of you, this is my responsibility, what's more, isn't your child my nephew?

If Zijin didn't refute, it can be said that there are too many times, and he will go.

However, Qiao Jinglian is now shouting big brother when she opens and closes her mouth, which is really smooth.

Sometimes I think about it, life is impermanent, and I really deal with this sentence.

In a blink of an eye, it was already the end of the year.

The weather is cold, Zijin's belly is getting bigger and bigger, and many things are inconvenient for her to do alone, but Gu Huimin has asked her aunt, who has been taking care of her diet and daily life, to take care of her 24 hours a day, Zijin has always lived alone in Gu Yanshen's apartment, Gu Huimin herself usually comes over 2 or 3 times a week, Tao Wantian and Shen Dongming live in the house where Zijin lived before, and they will come to see her every day.

But on this day, it snowed heavily, the traffic was not smooth, no one could catch up, Zijin was in the apartment, she didn't go out all day, she put on a light blue thick sweater, and below was a gray hit *, at home, it was a constant temperature, and she wouldn't feel cold or hot all year round, how comfortable she was, she wore it.

In fact, my stomach has been 6 months, and now I have a big belly, which is really uncomfortable, and my aunt happened to go shopping again today, and it was already dinner time, and she hadn't come back yet.

Zijin was so hungry that he thought about getting some food for himself, and when he entered the kitchen, he found that there were a lot of vegetables in the sink that had been cleaned.

When she opened the refrigerator to get the noodles, the cold air came to her face, and her heart seemed to have been frozen for almost half a year, and at this moment, it was broken.

There is a kind of pain that slowly seeps out of the cracks.

In the bottom compartment of the upper level of the refrigerator, lying quietly after a pack of noodles was opened, half of the noodles were left.

All kinds of the past, just like this, come to the face.

She remembered that when she was hungry, he liked to make noodles for himself.

She still remembers that day they quarreled, and he was the last time he made noodles for himself to eat, and there was a fierce argument after the worst.

…………

She thought that so many days had passed, it had been months, more than half a year, and the pain she thought she could hide was still quietly dormant, as long as you were not careful, these injuries would all run out, tearing the mask you had finally put on, and completely tearing apart.

Zijin trembled his hand and took out the pack of noodles, probably because the expiration date has not expired, this kind of is vacuum-packed, and there are small packets in it, so the aunt who cooks has never thrown it away. Her fingers slowly ran over the plastic bag, then closed the refrigerator, she didn't shed a single tear, just unpacked two small packages, and then took some cooked vegetables that had been washed and put them on top of the cutting board, she was going to give herself a bowl of noodles.

She remembers how the noodles he made for himself tasted.

But when he started cutting vegetables, he still accidentally cut himself, Zijin didn't pay attention, and subconsciously exclaimed, and the kitchen knife in his hand also snapped and fell to the floor, making a crisp sound, so frightened that Zijin's face turned white, and soon there was a rush of footsteps outside, as well as a familiar male voice-

"Zijin, what's wrong with you?"

“…………”

Zijin pressed her fingers with one hand, and the moment she turned her face, her heart rose to her throat, and at that moment, she really thought that the voice she heard was Gu Yanshen, and the person she saw was also Gu Yanshen.

But the person standing in front of him was not him, but Qiao Jinglian.

"What's wrong with you? Your fingers are bleeding. ”

Qiao Jinglian didn't know what Lu Dao was thinking, and glanced at the messy chopping board again, he sighed, "I know that Lu Dao, Auntie said to call you, but you didn't answer, and thought you were sleeping, so you called me, I bought you something to eat, come, I'll help you bandage your wound first." ”

"No need ......"

Zijin pulled out her hand, her expression was extremely gloomy, she crossed Qiao Jinglian and was about to walk to the bedroom, and said weakly: "It's just a small wound, don't be so troublesome, I'll take a band-aid myself for a while, stick it, I'll rest first, don't be hungry......"

"You're pregnant now, you're not in good health, do you still want to bleed yourself?"

Qiao Jinglian frowned, dragged her over, and let her sit on the sofa, while she ran to the room, found the prepared medicine box, and then carefully disinfected her fingers.

When the bandaging was done, she still maintained her original posture, Qiao Jinglian didn't think much about it, and took out the food she specially asked people to cook at the hotel, "Eat something, it's all your favorite dishes." ”

For most of the past six months, he has met with him almost every day.

Zijin didn't know what his kindness to herself represented, but she didn't have the strength to think about it, and now she suddenly looked at him like this, Zijin felt that for Qiao Jinglian, how unfair this was, in fact, he was so good, it was really not worth wasting too much time for herself.

The lunch box was opened by him, and the aroma was fragrant, but Zijin suddenly raised his head and looked at Qiao Jinglian, "Jinglian, I want to go to the UK." ”

“…………”

All the movements suddenly stopped, and Qiao Jinglian raised her head, "What did you say?" ”

His voice was a little cold, and Zijin lowered his eyes quietly, "I think it's the same wherever I live, I just want to go to the UK, maybe the child will be born there...... Do you remember? Yan Shen's household registration is British, and our children, of course, must be the same as him, I want Ji Yang to help me ......"

"Shen Zijin!"

Qiao Jinglian threw away the chopsticks in her hand, and looked at her with burning eyes, there were too many emotions in her eyes, which Zijin couldn't explain carefully, "Is it really that hard to forget?" I've done so much for you, don't you really see it at all? ”

“…………”

"It's been so long, yes, maybe for you, every day is a torment, but for me, isn't it? The last thing he said to me before was - no matter what, take good care of her and let her live well. I said to him - Gu Yanshen, you took all the trouble to take this woman from my hands, and now you want me to take care of her, what are you Qiao Jinglian when I am I? It's not your free babysitter, and if you don't dare to come back, then I won't let go again, and I'll make her my woman again-"

Zijin's heart trembled, and he looked at Qiao Jinglian's gaze, which was already a little stiff and embarrassed.

Qiao Jinglian stared at her for a moment, "Zijin, your comprehension ability shouldn't be that bad, right?" I've been working hard for so long, you should be able to see it, right? I don't want you to be alone, so lonely, and I don't want your children to be without a father, so I come, I don't mind at all, I will take care of you, you are still so young, single mothers will be very hard, rather than you have to find someone else in the future, why don't you look for me? I'll be nice to you, I'm ......"

"Don't talk about it."

Zijin stood up suddenly, the movement was too big, the corner of the sweater happened to touch the food box on the side, she subconsciously pulled, the food box fell to the floor with a click, and the vegetable soup splashed out, penetrated into her sweater, and became a stain.

Her slender fingers tightly grasped the corner of her clothes, and said word by word: "I won't look for others, I don't feel lonely, my child has only one father, it won't be anyone, it must be Gu Yanshen." ”

"Zijin—"

"Jinglian, don't say it, I beg you! Don't push me, okay? I know that you have always been by my side, but you know that I don't love you, I may compromise with life, I may be right...... There are many compromises, but I don't compromise on love. I only love Gu Yanshen, in this world, no man can replace him. ”

"I didn't say I wanted to replace him, you can think about him, I just want to take care of you, Zijin, time can smooth out too many things, it doesn't matter if you don't love me, we are family, aren't we?"

Qiao Jinglian took a step forward, but Zijin took a step back, she shook her head and said firmly: "No, impossible." In my life, I will never see him again, and I will not be with anyone else. ”

“…………”

After Zijin finished speaking, he turned around and walked into the bedroom.

Qiao Jinglian stood quietly in the living room alone, he smoked 5 cigarettes, and waited until the corners of his lips were numb, then he slowly stood up, shook the cigarette ash on his body, he stood at the door of the bedroom, knocked on the door, and didn't care whether Zijin could hear it or not, he spoke, his voice was hoarse and astringent, "...... I'll take you to see Gu Yanshen. ”

6000+ Updates! Xie Lu thanks everyone for their great support in July, hehe, I still ask for a monthly pass in August! Come on, come on, come on, fierce, I'll try to update everyone!