The first task is to call the phone and tell my dad not to drink from tonight, if he gets drunk when he meets the squad leader, everything will be messed up.

After separating from the squad leader, I dialed my father's mobile phone and told him that our squad leader was going to visit his home tomorrow, and asked him to dress neatly, not to drink alcohol, and try to make a good impression on others.

Dad agreed, and seemed to hear the "class leader" as the "class teacher", and did not question it.

Dad didn't ask, and I didn't specifically explain it, anyway, the class leader is more than the head teacher, and it is not a loss to greet her with the etiquette of welcoming the head teacher.

The cumbersome 50 condoms in my pocket, I went to the Yulong community during the afternoon recess and delivered them to Director Cao.

Just in time for Director Cao's absence, only Father-in-law Cao sat behind his laptop and played beautiful girl games.

"I like my brother's big ×× the most......"

On the computer screen, a little Lori with a bow tied on her head is in close contact with some kind of mosaic object.

I glared at the paper drawer that Father-in-law Cao placed on the left side of the notebook, and said dissatisfiedly:

"Didn't you call in sick because of diarrhea? How can you still have the strength to play this? ”

"Master, don't you know, the disciple is exploring the truth of science!" Gonggong Cao said unashamedly.

"What truth can be explored by masturbating to H games? If scientific discoveries could be made in this way, China would have long been the number one scientific power! ”

Father-in-law Cao said with a hippie smile: "The disciple is not so promising, and he can't serve the country, but he happened to see a top abstinence post on a forum, and everyone complained about the harm of masturbation, and then he shared the experience and results of abstinence." ”

I've also seen this kind of post on the post bar.,It's full of "all evil yin is the head", "masturbation is harmful to life", "Since I quit masturbation, my head doesn't hurt.,My eyes don't dazzle.,I don't breathe anymore on the fifth floor.,Mom doesn't have to worry about my studies anymore!" "Such a statement.

"One of the monks left a message saying that as long as the stomach is cold, causing abdominal pain, I won't want to masturbate at all, I happen to have diarrhea today, so I plan to practice it myself, and see what he said - the result, it doesn't work at all! I have abdominal pain so much that my intestines are cramping, but I can still masturbate normally! ”

I have no comment on such a shameless father-in-law Cao, I threw 50 condoms on the table and told that this was for Director Cao, who is a high-risk group of STDs, don't forget to bring ten or eight when you go out.

"Oh, master, you care so much about your father's health, disciple, I am grateful!" Father-in-law Cao said with an exaggerated expression, "If you don't dislike it, master, some of my father's H game treasures can be given to the master as a small masturbation!" ”

"Excuse me!" I know that Director Cao's hard disk H games,Most of them are Lolita control types.,And it also contains a lot of sister Luo (both sister and Lori) works.,The overlap with Amy is quite high.,I don't want to twist my psychology in that direction.。

When I came back from Director Cao's house, I was catching up with the Chinese class of Old Man Zhang, who had the most headache for me.

In addition, Xiaoqin, who has a brain in the water, told me that in order to meet my needs in all aspects, she, as a girlfriend, wants to draw H comics for me to read.

But I'm not expecting it at all.,Although it's different as a man.,But the man who can pick up the eggplant and potatoes.,It shouldn't have been born on this shijie yet.。

Her vegetable-oriented H comics can be donated to botanists to see if they can increase the yield if they are placed in the vegetable greenhouse.

"Ye Lin, no, it's very dirty there......" Xiaoqin wrote a shy dialogue in the storyboard, as if she was using me and her as the protagonists in this H comic.

"There are so many ......"

Every time she made up a new line, she had to read it and write it out, which was quite embarrassing.

Suddenly, I felt that it wasn't so much that Qin was drawing H comics, but that she was playing an H novel with sound, and that Qin's voice was very sweet and pleasant, and if she was in Japan, maybe she could make a living as a voice actress.

"Wouldn't it? Ye Lin is really, so fast and ......"

I was so tormented by Xiaoqin that I couldn't pay attention to the class, so I poked her elbow.

"Hey, can you stop making a sound?"

Xiaoqin didn't raise her head and said to herself while writing:

"Classmate Ye Lin did this kind of thing to me, and I couldn't make a sound, it's too difficult for a strong person......"

I've written my daily conversation with you into my creation! How free you can draw comics!

As a result, I was found by Old Man Zhang, who was whispering to Xiaoqin, and he asked me to get up and answer the question.

Damn, it's all bad to blame Xiaoqin!

"Ye Lin, you recite the part of Mulan Ci in "Mulan's Ci" that Mulan returns to her hometown for me!"

Fortunately, it's okay, because I've seen the spoof version of Mulan on the Internet, so I remember the genuine version relatively well, and the spoof version seems to be written like this for Mulan's homecoming:

"When the grandmother heard that the girl was coming, she raised her body to go to Qingchi, the sister heard that her sister was coming, and she hung the southeast branch, and the younger brother heard that her sister was coming, and the pipa stopped talking late."

How bad my popularity is by Mulan! As soon as I got home, my parents and sister cut myself off, and my only younger brother also had an expression that he was about to be played, waiting for Sister Mulan to enter the door in fear!

Of course, I have to be careful not to make mistakes, if I accidentally read the spoof version of Mulan Homecoming, Old Man Zhang should be furious.

"When the grandmother heard that the girl was coming, she came out of Guo Xiang to help the general; When my sister heard that her sister came, she took care of her red makeup; The little brother heard that his sister was coming, sharpening his knife and ......"

Because I stood up and recited, I could just see Xiaoqin's ridiculous paintings, and suddenly thought that there was a sentence in front of Mulan's words, "Grandpa has no eldest son, Mulan has no eldest brother", from this sentence analysis, in fact, Mulan and Xiaoqin still have similarities.

Where is the resemblance, you ask? Is it because Xiaoqin has also dressed as a man?

No, no, no, Xiaoqin's reason for disguising herself as a man is not as noble as Mulan's, and the reason why Xiaoqin and Mulan are similar is actually very simple, the original text says - "Mulan has no long breasts"! Mulan and Celery are poor! Otherwise, how could she have been in the army for twelve years and has not been discovered by her comrades!

I secretly thought it was funny, but I couldn't concentrate, and finally memorized Mulan by mistake.

It's not that it's a spoof version of Mulanci, but that "sharpening knives Huo Huo to pigs and sheep" has been recited as "sharpening knives Huo Huo to Daddy".

The whole class suddenly became daxiao, and Xiong Yaoyue slapped the table with a smile.

Xiaoqin also laughed out loud, but she was afraid that I would feel embarrassed, so she didn't dare to speak up.

The squad leader is still very serious, she may be worried about what she wants to say to my dad during tomorrow's home visit, and "sharpening the knife Huo Huo to my father" may also show that I have violent tendencies against my parents, the squad leader is worried, how can I laugh!

Old man Zhang, who was angry with me, commented: "This younger brother of Hua Mulan, is it a spy sent by the Huns?" ”

The class erupted in laughter again, and I sat down in shame.

Really, after I stood up, Xiaoqin obviously didn't take the initiative to talk to me, I weishenme want to think about the sentence "Mulan has no long breasts"!

After school that day, I called Su Qiao and said that I would not go home for dinner, and then ate a little casually in the snack street, and then left for Li Cunzhuang's house.

I asked the students in the second class that Li Cunzhuang did not come to class today, presumably because of the injuries he suffered to protect the class leader last Friday, and he has not completely healed.

It was not because Li Cunzhuang saved the squad leader that I went to see him, but because he was included in the category of "friend" by me, and it was only natural for my friend to be unwell and visit him.

I bought some fruit, and according to the address I vaguely remembered last time, I pressed the doorbell of Li Cunzhuang's house - judging from the texture of this door, I knew that Li Cunzhuang's house was in good condition.

It was a very burly man who opened the door to me, it should be Li Cunzhuang's father, and her mother also came to talk to me with a kind face.

"Yes...... Strongko's classmates? His parents called him a strong son.

"Well, I'm a friend of Zhuangzi, I'm here to see him." I tried my best to hide the vicious aura in my eyes, so as not to make Li Cunzhuang's parents think that their son had made a mistake with bandits.

may be the reason why Li Cunzhuang himself is too ugly, his parents were not too critical of my appearance, but happily told Li Cunzhuang, who was recuperating in the bedroom:

"Zhuangzi, another friend has come to see you!"

I was a little surprised by the word "again", and when I inquired, I learned that on Saturday, the squad leader had already brought Shu Zhe to express his gratitude to Li Cunzhuang. Although Li Cunzhuang was injured because of the fight, he made rare friends because of it, so his parents were happy and felt that their son was one step closer to integrating into the group.

Li Cunzhuang had a piece of duct tape on the left and a bandage on the right, lying on the bed to recuperate, he was very happy to see me, and chatted with me for more than an hour, mostly about whether Shu Sha was in danger again, who were enemies with her, where was the nest and so on.

When I left, Li Cunzhuang's parents came to the door to see me off and told me:

"If you have time, you can often come to my house to play!"

In their eyes, I can see the ardent hope that my son can also have normal friends and a normal life.

Speaking of which, there were rumors in the former twenty-eight middle schools that Li Cunzhuang's parents were biological brothers and sisters, and this rumor was too vicious - they didn't look like each other at all - pity the hearts of parents all over the world!

When I got home, Su Qiao was sitting on the sofa watching the talent show on TV, and when she saw me coming, she hurriedly turned off the TV with the remote control, for fear that the sound of the TV would disturb me and make me feel bad.

"It's okay, just keep watching." I said, "I'm not an ancient Egyptian slave owner, and you're free, so don't be so afraid of me." ”

Su Qiao's expression was gloomy and said, "After signing a contract with Tianmu Xingguang, I am no longer free......

That's true, but if you behave well, I might still be able to help you get rid of the shackles of the Heavenly Pastor Starlight, after all, I'm the second shareholder there!

That night, I checked the tapping recording again, and I didn't record the communication between Su Qiao and Ai Shuqiao, but I recorded the phone call from Su Qiao, the actual principal of Tianmu Xingguang, senior agent Fu Shijian.

Just listening to the voice, I feel that Fu Shijian is a very hypocritical, very slippery, and very annoying person.

On the phone, he asked Su Qiao to "accompany a wealthy businessman", and all kinds of hints between his words were extremely dirty, feeling that Fu Shijian was more of a pimp than an agent.