I ran to the hospital with my daughter in my arms, and along the way I heard her pursing her lips and calling 'Daddy' in a half-conscious state.

I don't know if in Ye Zi's heart, the so-called dad refers to Ye Jinliang, or just an adult male character who can live with her. The only thing I know for sure is that I'll never be able to take place.

Now that I think about it, whether it was Ye Zi's original attending doctor or Dr. Su Xihang, they all reminded me more than once that the family affection that Ye Zi relied on affected his mood, and his mood affected his condition. And my turbulent marital situation and emotional destiny invisibly put layers of pressure on her already unstable heart.

- I can fall out of love, but I don't have the right to fall out of love with my daughter.

When Su Xihang told me this, I didn't really understand the philosophy of it.

It wasn't until today that I saw Ye Zi's behavior so radically intensifying, and I realized that my daughter had indeed grown up a lot, strong enough and hard enough.

And the price behind this is that in order not to distress me, in order not to worry me, she used her young heart to take on the heavy responsibility of suppressing the stubborn personality.

It's like quitting drugs, quitting addiction......

I squatted outside the emergency debridement room and cried for a long time, until Li Dongye, who heard the news, picked me up.

"Lan Lan, don't cry yet. The leaves were fine, the child didn't have much strength, and he took three stitches and tetanus medicine. It's okay. ”

I bit my lip, already trembling incoherently: "Winter night, didn't you see that just now...... I'm really scared to death, I'm really scared to death!

Hand ...... of leaves In the future, I want her to learn piano......"

"Shu Lan, I advise you to tell Jiang Zuoyi." Li Dongye pulled me to the lounge and poured two glasses of warm water to calm me down: "I don't know what happened between the two of you, maybe it's Xiao Ling's death that makes you unable to let go, I think it's understandable."

But once these become obstacles between you and Jiang Zuoyi, won't it be ...... It is equivalent to saying that it is fast to let relatives and enemies hurt? ”

Relatives and enemies are fast? I think Li Dongye's analogy is very appropriate, but things are one yard at a time, and they are not buying vegetables in the market to bargain.

I said that I couldn't force myself to pretend that none of this had happened just because I wanted to be angry with Ling Nan's dead pervert.

The problem between me and Jiang Zuoyi was that I suddenly had a real fear of the world he had always existed in, and I just didn't want to easily blind my senses and judgments with the illusion of deep love.

Both Ling Nan and Ling Xue once commented on him, saying that he was a very result-oriented man. Know too much what you want, and never regret a decision once you make it, whether it's right or wrong.

When he is truly powerful, he can turn the clouds and rain in front of my eyes in an instant. But when he chooses to compromise fragily, it can happen powerlessly.

So what I really feel terrified of is that under Jiang Zuoyi's seemingly unassailable strength, it is never clear what kind of price will be hidden in the backlit place.

It made me feel like I was going to get close to his chest and shoulders, and my calm breathing became like a chop. "I said you can think I'm hypocritical, but in this gladiatorial fight where Jiang Zuoyi entered, the tragedy of Ling Xue's mother and son inevitably happened.

"Lan Lan, I think what you really can't stand is just the tragedy that he indirectly caused because he chose you." Li Dongye said that she was a bystander, and said that I just didn't realize it - in the final analysis, I was just feeling guilty.

As if in one sentence, I was powerless to refute. I said that I was indeed guilty, to Ling Xue, to Jiang Ling, and to Ye Zi......

But I forgot that these were originally Jiang Zuoyi's stories. I just accidentally walked in, and I got deeper into the play than him.

"If you want me to say, you actually love him more than you think." Li Dongye finally prescribed the prescription to me: "I have loved him from the beginning, I want to rely on him, and I am worried that I am not good enough to enter this man's heart."

When you were with Ye Jinliang, you weren't so strong at all, and that's because you didn't need to. But when facing Jiang Zuoyi, your brilliance is almost a kind of flattery. ”

I said that you really know me too well in the winter night, these days I am lying in bed, Jiang Zuoyi cares for and accompanies me meticulously. But I always miss the days when I was the enemy of Shu Yan and turned against Ye Jinliang.

The thrill of fighting made my potential swell, and Jiang Zuoyi's presence was like an elusive light. I don't know where he stands, and I don't need to rely too much on him.

Every move was full of energy waiting for the shogungi to move—but the more it did, the more excited I felt.

"But I think you still lost," Li Dongye let out a heavy breath, his eyes were helpless and distressed: "You are a mother after all, and you lost your daughter after all."

Because whether it is a leaf or a smile, it has exceeded the psychological endurance that children of the same age should have. In fact, what the child lacks is not a father, but a mother who is not so reckless.

Lan Lan, you're too late. ”

She patted me on the shoulder, stood up and said almost, let's go see the kids.

When I came out of the break room and rushed to the debridement room in the corner hallway, I found that the leaf had already been taken to the hospital room.

ran over there in three steps and two steps, and as soon as he pushed open the door, he saw Jiang Zuoyi sitting in front of his daughter's hospital bed.

"You ......"

"Why didn't you tell me about such a big thing?" He gently lowered Yezi's heavily bandaged hand into the quilt, his tone half reproachful and half unbearable reproach.

I bit my lip and remained silent.

"Just now, the doctor came over and pushed the child to test the brain waves. It may be the morning after tomorrow when the experts analyze the results of the consultation. Jiang Zuoyi said that he remembered that my father's funeral was the day after tomorrow, so let me go and be busy with peace of mind.

"I'll help you keep an eye on the leaves."

I said oh, thank you.

I don't know why I want to say thank you, hypocrisy and anger are just one step away. Yu Qing is my lover, and Yu Li is Ye Zi's biological father. But many, many distances arise from a sentence that I don't know how to say in harmony.

Jiang Zuoyi turned his face to look at me and said, "Shu Lan, let's go out and talk, shall we?" ”

I couldn't say no, so I could only nod.

Jiang Zuoyi sighed softly, and then stood up against the side of the bed. But I looked at the little hands of the leaves as if they had eyes, and I didn't care if it hurt under the heavy gauze or not. As soon as he turned over the corner of the quilt, he pinched Jiang Zuoyi's fingers when he landed-

"Mommy, Mommy...... Don't go ......."

Jiang Zuoyi was slightly stunned, then leaned over and kissed Ye Zi on the forehead.

Then he turned to me and said, "Ye Jinliang is in the inpatient department next door, right?" Do you want him to come and see the leaves? ”

I was so sad that I was dumb for a long time before I said, "...... No more, no need to look for ...... Someone else's. It's good for you to spend more time with the leaves. ”

Jiang Zuoyi suddenly laughed, saying that he was also a domineering president, right? Now that the dust has settled, it seems that there is no need to do the murder and arson. Isn't the strategizing mall also getting its hands dirty?

During this time, the affairs of Jiangyuan Group were handed over to the secretary and those executives. I'm afraid that if I break away from the organization again, I will really go back to mingle in the rest of my life. ”

I smiled wryly and said that you are a goldfish, I heard that after the goldfish is released back into the wild, it will turn back into a river crucian carp within three generations. Jiang Zuoyi, you are still a pseudo-gentleman after all, what a hooligan.

"I think so too." He didn't express any other opinions on my words, but only talked about the next arrangement: "Shu Lan, the beginning of the month is the second phase of the promotion of 'Jiangjing City', I was in Thailand a while ago, but I heard that you and Ye Jinliang have made a lot of preparations.

In fact, if you find this time too difficult, it is better to turn the center of your thinking to the company. ”

I said I thought the same thing, and after my dad's funeral, I would have a board meeting.

"It's good if you're happy, I'll accompany you."

I was silent again, to be honest, I'm not too used to Jiang Zuoyi like this. I said, don't you have something to talk to me? You don't want to talk about work, do you?

Jiang Zuoyi shook his head, pushed my shoulders and went out.

We went downstairs to a café, and for the first time, he only ordered American, but he didn't even ask for sugar, let alone desserts.

"You're not afraid of hardship, aren't you?" I stared at the deep color in the cup.

"Urine test for high blood sugar." He glanced at me half-jokingly. In fact, looking back, this is the first time I've heard him joke in more than a week.

So I said, "But I want to eat, and I'm hungry for you." ”

With a snap of my fingers, I deliberately asked the waiter to serve me a double serving of raspberry cheesecake.

Looking at the red appetite on it, I almost burst into tears.

"When my dad had his birthday, you bought him this cake like this." I said I didn't know it before - men have a sweet tooth, and they are so cute at any age.

"Later, every time I went to see him, I brought it to him." I said Jiang Zuoyi, you are such an amazing person, you can always unconsciously drive some rhythm around you.

For example, before I met you, I never knew that fighting people was so enjoyable.

"But I don't want to use this price in exchange for how powerful you are today." Jiang Zuoyi took a sip of the American style, and the casual frown made me feel very distressed: "I said that when I fell in love with you, it was just out of simple pity. The more you refuse to admit defeat, the more distressed I become.

But I thought about it carefully, why did you Shu Lan refuse to admit defeat and refuse to let go of yourself? ”

I was taken aback for a moment, and instinctively felt the different atmosphere of today's conversation. I said, Jiang Zuoyi, what do you want to say?

He looked me in the eye calmly, and slowly pressed his chin with one hand: "I thought you had been fighting me with your nerves.

You admit defeat, but you don't want to admit defeat. That's the case for Ye Jinliang, for me...... That's also true. ”

I said so what? Love is fate and fatalism, and at this point, there is not even a pure motive between us.

If you are reluctant to let go, you will be full of holes. It's a clear and understandable thing, since we are all adults, what are we hypocritical?

"So, if you really feel too uncomfortable. I...... You can be let go for a while. ”

I said, oh, this doesn't seem like the first time you've broken up with me, right?

The last time was when Ling Nan almost stabbed himself to death with a knife, and this time it was when Ling Nan blew himself up into carbon dioxide. I said Jiang Zuoyi, you better go with Ling Nan! Falling in love and killing each other is the happiest!

"Shu Lan, if we wipe away all the conspiracy and stand face to face. How sure are you that you'll fall in love with me? ”

I said I don't know. And this question seems to be unreasonable, but it makes people die.

In other words, if there is no 'betrayal' from Ye Jinliang, there is no rhythm to push all the way into the abyss. Even a man who is a thousand times more powerful than Jiang Zuoyi can't let me move this young woman's heart casually. It's like a fish in a pond that never knows the depth of the ocean – but I've become the fish that jumped out of the dragon gate after all.

I don't know, but I have to love.

Jiang Zuoyi suddenly grabbed the Americano coffee in front of him and drank it like whiskey. I have the impression that he doesn't drink alcohol often, and occasionally tastes dry red. Most of the time, I rely on cigarettes to refresh my mind and rely on coffee to hypnotize.

I think many of the answers are clearly engraved on the proposition. Don't fight with textbooks.

So he said: "Jiang Zuoyi, then let's give each other a little time?" ”

"Yes." He pressed two bills on the corner of the table and got up as if he were running away.

The heavy steps couldn't cross the reluctant mind, and he finally looked back at me: "Shu Lan, the little half month that you and I lived with Ye Zi and Xiao Ling ....... was the most unforgettable time in my life."

It's like, you really have a home. You, you, will always be waiting for me. ”

Jiang Zuoyi stretched out his long arm and suddenly touched my head dotingly. It's like wiping my tears with a handkerchief countless times before, and I suddenly let go of my defense.

"Shu Lan, do what you want to do, I will watch you by your side.

I want to see if you're just as attractive when you're not distressed. ”

The smile that hooked the corners of my lips, I could clearly see the deepest expectation and earnestness in his deep arc. I think that maybe a truly beautiful love doesn't need too many vows and partings of life and death.

It's just a letting go, just a precipitated longing.

"Jiang Zuoyi!" I spread my arms and wrapped my arms around his waistline. In an instant, the tears that burst the embankment could not stop wanton.

I snapped his buttons and crumpled his shirt. I couldn't hold back my choking and couldn't control my emotions, I said let's take out the fate first, wash it, and dry it.

When these terrible memories slowly extend to the point where they will not intrude on the dream, when I don't have to be that distressing Shu Lan, I can still enter your eyes and go to your heart.

"Okay." He hugged my trembling shoulders and bit my delicate neck. Finally, he suddenly stretched out his arm and pushed, and the whole person disappeared outside the door like a wind-

I chased two steps out of the café door, searching the endless streets for traces of him that were more scattered than a broken paper kite.

At that moment, it was as if I understood the meaning of rebirth.

He didn't leave, I didn't leave, it was just a different way of falling in love.

I raised my head and raised my hand to block out the afterglow of the setting sun. It turns out that the true meaning of life is not to be angry with anyone. The beautiful essence of love, regardless of heroes and wins and losses.

Jiang Zuoyi, my daughter has a father like you, will it be regarded as a sweet compensation for the many disasters and hardships that God has given her?

Early in the morning of the third day, I received a call from Li Dongye, saying that Ye Zi's consultation was at ten o'clock this morning. Dr. Su Xihang, who helped Ye Zi with the operation last time, was also there, and asked me when I could end the funeral and if I wanted to come over?

"It's okay, Jiang Zuoyi will go." I was looking in the mirror with no makeup and picking up a decent black suit.

Yesterday, Ye Jinliang asked me how to arrange the thank-you speech, and I said that I would just talk about it. It's okay to say something sensational, a fake cliché. For none of the people who are here today know what kind of person my father is.

When Li Dongye heard me mention Jiang Zuoyi, he exhaled with relief: "How are you now?" ”

I laughed and said no, we broke up.

"Shu Lan, I have never seen two people more awkward than you and Jiang Zuoyi in my life."

"So I have a hunch that we'll end up together."

"Toss around, sooner or later I will regret killing you." Li Dongye said that perversion and paranoia are contagious, and he is ready to stay away from me in the future.

Last night, Jiang Zuoyi and I went to the back row community, and Lu Zhaoxin's apartment went to pack some things.

She is simple and pitiful, everything under the mask is innocent and simple, and she comes and goes without a trace like a human being.

Later, Jiang Zuoyi gave me a set of transfer certificates, saying that he would give me the apartment I live in now.

I gladly accepted it, because the name on the house was me and Yezi.

I hope that the better he treats Ye Zi now, the less regrets he will have in the future.

It's not because I'm angry, but when I went to see the leaves yesterday morning, I cautiously tried to say to my daughter if Uncle Jiang was your father—

The result can be imagined, and I was sneered at again.

"Mom, if you want to be with a man, you can decide for yourself, don't coax me with such words. I don't care about dad at all, I need dad too, and so does Yezi. We don't even need you anymore..."

The attending doctor said that the examination of the leaves was not very optimistic, and the brain wave images showed that the degree of mania had even increased.

At that time, I leaned against the door and shed tears, and when Jiang Zuoyi came out of the bathroom and asked me what was wrong, I chewed and swallowed the words that came to my mouth again.

He thought I was worried about my children, but I realized that I might not be fit to tell the truth in this state.

Later, Jiang Zuoyi told me that he had sold the villa.

"Are you willing?" I was still a little surprised to hear this, and I said that if I remember correctly, it was the first real home between you and the Ling family siblings. Little Zero also grew up there... I lit a fire for you, and you still have to peel my skin.

"A house is just a house, it can shelter from the wind and rain, but it can't prevent the family from turning against each other." Jiang Zuoyi's answer was very calm and relieved, after all, he was unwilling to recall much more than me.

He said that he would most likely stay in the apartment on the top floor of the Jiangyuan Group in the future, and that the black-and-white worldview would be isolated by different living environments.

He asked me if I remember the first time I broke in and looked for him by myself.

I said of course I remember, if you want to ask me when I was attracted to you... Maybe it's that day, under the lazy look of watching you eat breakfast in your pajamas, but there are thousands of stories.

knew that it was poisonous, but he couldn't stop it.

He was a little emotional, and when he was about to go out, he suddenly hugged me and kissed me for a long time. Then he grabbed me by the waist and pressed me to the bar.

When my hands folded over my tense lower abdomen, the lust in my eyes suddenly turned into an injury: "Shu Lan, that child..."

Since then, neither of us has ever spoken a word about the appearance of this child and the loss of peace.

When I was sure I was emotionally ready to joke, I said, "Well, the kid looks a lot like you." ”

Jiang Zuoyi suddenly lay on my shoulder and laughed uncontrollably, laughed for three minutes, and then pushed the door away.

I touched my shoulder, a wet patch.

***

My father's funeral was held at nine o'clock this morning as scheduled, and not many people were present, but as a daughter who understands what he has done, I don't think it will be easy for someone to be willing to send this bad guy.

I didn't listen carefully to the pastor's words, and I helped Ye Jinliang throughout the whole process, and I said that if you can't hold it, sit down and rest for a while.

He said it was fine, it didn't hurt as much as I poked with broken glass before.

"Did you tell Jiang Zuoyi about the leaves?"

I didn't answer.

Not because I didn't think it was unreasonable to talk to each other at my father's funeral, but because a black sedan abruptly outside the gate immediately caught my attention.

Glancing at the sign-in book at the welcome at the door, didn't all the people who came today arrive? At this time, I will thank Zhan Yi, and then cover the coffin and be cremated, why is there still anyone coming.

The car stopped arrogantly at the main gate, and a woman dressed in black came down from above.

Although she was wearing sunglasses, I still recognized her as Shuyan.

"Shu Yan?" I turned my face to look at Ye Jinliang in a daze: "You found her?" ”

The man shook his head and said no.

"Don't guess, I'll do it myself." Shu Yan walked up to me generously: "Dad's funeral, how could I not attend." ”

She took off her sunglasses and curled the corners of her mouth. The scars on her face have faded a little, and they don't hinder her beauty at all.

But today's Shu Yan is cold and beautiful, and it is very different from the delicate youthful vitality before.

I said it's good if you're here, and we'll talk about the rest later. They are all father's daughters, and they should come to see off the last ride. Let's each have a mallet and cover Dad's coffin.

"Sister, are you going to bury your dad so soon?" Shu Yan raised his voice, and the audience watched: "The reason why I came here today is that I don't agree with you being so hasty." My dad was killed by someone, why is it so casual?! ”