My last visual impression of the world was that it was above a blue sky.

It seemed that a plane happened to pass by, passing through the clouds, pulling a long, long trail.

It's as long as the rope my mom used to hang herself when I was less than three years old.

I thought, maybe that's the first scene I started to remember.

At this moment, Shu Lan was lying on my chest.

Her cheeks were pressed against my heart, and her eyelashes were thick covered with blood.

Her breath blew through the torn shirt on my chest, and every beat of her heart seemed to resonate with me.

I couldn't lift a finger to protect her, I just wanted to watch her quietly until ...... I can't see it anymore.

I closed my eyes, and a burning pain passed from my socket to all the nerves I could perceive.

The sound of footsteps came and went back and forth in my ears, and I think my hearing probably started to grow from this moment.

They took Shu Lan off me, and she hugged her so tightly that she couldn't pull it.

I ended up cutting it with my sleeve.

All of a sudden, my chest became empty, as if a piece of flesh had been stripped away.

After that, I waited a long time for a thin white sheet to be placed over my face.

Please, I'm such a proud man, I really don't want to be cut down like a carved winter melon in front of you, okay?

Let me die with some dignity, and I will thank your eight ancestors for that.

I remember the bloody battle, and the loss of vision left me with years of experience to judge what the weapons that were striking me were.

The machete, dagger, and axe are fairly recognizable - but where did this hoe come from!

But I think that's where I should be. Lying in a pool of desperate blood, listening to the unsympathetic pointing of the police and the unknown crowd.

They say that such people deserve it, and they will not end well.

I settle for this ending, no regrets, no resentment. But Shu Lan, why did you want to accompany me to this fate?

Would you still be happy in this life without me?

When I woke up, it was dark.

I said Andy, why don't you turn on the lights?

No one answered.

I suddenly remembered that in this long dream, many people stood in front of me, only laughing and not talking.

Some are my enemies, some are my friends. They left before me, but they didn't give me a chance to meet.

The doctor said that the corneas of both eyes were deeply burned, which had been peeled off to prevent the infection from causing necrosis.

I said, oh, it's not because it's dark.

Zhan Yi came to see me and told me that Shu Lan hadn't woken up yet.

I said okay, immediately and immediately, take me out. Then he announced my death to the public, and asked the lawyer to take care of all the formalities of the inheritance.

"Mr. Jiang, why?"

Zhan Yi is not at all different from Andy, he never asks what to do, not why.

I said why? Because I'm fucking Jiang Zuoyi!

I am Jiang Zuoyi of Shu Lan, and from the moment I exist in her life, I should be her supreme god.

Only I have the right to override her dignity and pride, and I will never allow myself to be groomed, fed with water and medicine like a dog by her - I'd rather die!

"Jiang Zuoyi, are you a fool!" This is the second time Ye Jinliang has beaten me, the first time is when Shu Lan was dying in the emergency room due to a ruptured ectopic pregnancy.

I said Ye Jinliang, believe it or not, I killed you! If it weren't for the fact that you are the only man Shu Lan can trust and rely on in this world, I would have thrown you into the sewer and made you think about my woman every day!

But Ye Jinliang said, you are like me, and if you get mixed up to this point, you will only scare people with your teeth and claws.

"Actually, you don't have to leave Shu Lan, you are like this, she will soon not love you."

I think my face is hot, probably tears.

Then the doctor rushed over and told me that I must not shed tears now. The wound in the eye has not yet healed, and blood and tears can cause a very serious infection. If you don't get it right, you won't have a chance to transplant it even if you have a suitable cornea in the future.

At that moment, I suddenly had a very selfish thought.

I said Ye Jinliang, I ask you to tell Shu Lan that I am dead.

When I die, it's all over. She loves me, but she's also strong.

"Haven't you always been angry with me? Don't you always hate us for ruining your life and happiness? Ye Jinliang, this is your last chance, as long as you can protect Shu Lan for a lifetime, I can give you whatever you want! ”

"You can give me whatever I want? I can give Shu Lan whatever she wants. So Jiang Zuoyi, what if she wants you from me? Ye Jinliang said, it's okay, it's better for you to be like this, it's better to let her die when you're dead.

When one day you can see clearly whether her love for you can transcend life and death without using your eyes, you will understand how stupid you are today.

"If I could go back a year ago, I would never let someone like you appear in her life. It's a pity that my thirty years of fate with her can't compare to you hitting a fucking child on her in three minutes! ”

Later, Ye Jinliang slammed the door and left, and I sat on the hospital bed for a quarter of an hour before jumping up-

Ye Jinliang, who do you say for three minutes! Zhan Yi, you caught up with him for me and did him!

"Mr. Jiang, I'm not Andy, I have a sense of right and wrong."

I sneered and said that Andy also has a view of right and wrong, but in his eyes, I am more important than right and wrong.

I've pretty much taken care of after my death, and it's time to leave.

X Town is a seven- or eight-hour drive from S City, but it is a unique rhythm of life.

I have enough money left to finish the lower half of my body, including education and development after Xiao Zero.

But I haven't figured out what I'm going to do in the next few decades, or ...... Let's make memories full-time.

Anyway, the first half of my life was wonderful enough to remember.

The fat sister-in-law was brought back by me and has been taking care of Xiao Ling.

I like this soft-spoken old granny very much, because in my eyes, the image of a mother who has been missing for many years should almost look like this.

The experience of life has smoothed out the traces of their youth, and the out-of-shape figure and numb wrinkles are mixed with love for their children.

On the day the guide dog was brought back, Xiao Ling was overjoyed. In the past, Ling Nan was allergic to hair, and he resolutely disagreed with him raising things with hair.

Later, I finally got a turtle, and I was accidentally rolled into a wheelchair by that dead pervert, and I couldn't bear to look at it directly.

Xiao Ling asked me what the dog's name was.

I didn't even think about it, so I said it was Andy.

Xiao Ling cried and said Dad, there were so many people around us before, why are they all dead now?

I said no. They were all alive and happy, and it was we who died.

Dying in a place that no longer intersects with S City, only the two of us are together, and it won't be particularly lonely, right?

"But I want the leaves to ......"

"Daddy wants to too."

But life is as cold and thin as paper, you can't always cry out for pain when you can't bleed, turn on the lights when you're afraid of the dark, connect when you miss them, let go when you're tired, please when you're isolated, and be homesick if you're vulnerable?

We should not be blinded by the lack of the present, because people have to grow up after all, and the darkest part of the road must be completed by themselves.

"Wait until one day, you have the ability to tell Ye Zi that you miss her. You don't need to tell your dad first. ”

Xiao Ling said I understand.

I smiled and asked what do you know?

He said no, he was just hungry, and I could only let him go to eat if I understood.

I think, this little slippery head really doesn't have to be anyone's son!

I never thought that Ling Nan would really do such a heartbreaking thing to Ling Xue as Shu Lan had suspected before.

But some of the heart knots are like toxins in the blood vessels, so I still took the time to check Xiao Ling's blood. Fortunately, it has nothing to do with that perverted dead fox.

In fact, I have always had a hunch, will Ling Nan not die at all?

Anyway, the author of this article is perverted, as long as he doesn't see the corpse, he may not be dead.

He is so cunning, so scheming, the whole world will admit it, and he will not suffer. When the mourning was all over the field, he laughed in the bushes, and he was talking about this kind of person!

So that day, I asked Xiao Ling, have you ever dreamed of Nan's mother?

"Nope."

"Neither do I."

"Dad, didn't you say that only the dead dream?" Xiao Ling said: "I always feel that Nan's mother is not dead, because when I think of him, there is a place in my heart that has always been warm, as if he has always been there." ”

I didn't say anything, because the doctor said, you can't cry.

Once I was able to get out of bed, I began to learn to communicate with Andy. A dog is a dog, and no matter how obedient it is, it is not as good as Andy. It's a fact.

That day Zhan Yi sent me a Braille book, Helen Keller's, if you give me three days of light.

I called him and scolded him, and I said that Braille is to be learned! As soon as you are blind, you will automatically be able to read Braille, right?

After quieting down, I leaned back on the couch and thought what I would do if I could be given three more days of light.

On the first day, I would go to my mother's grave in the early hours of the morning and offer her a 'Midnight Howl'. Her tomb is too deserted for few people to visit, so it is overgrown with weeds and mosquitoes all year round. Her life was tragic and innocent. I don't think she'll love me, because my father is her husband-killer. At this point, my existence is actually quite similar to Shu Yan, hehe.

But she didn't take me away before she hanged herself, and I thought, maybe the motherhood in a woman's bones is still mostly primitive.

But now, I don't thank her at all for keeping me in this world.

But I would love to take another look at her tombstone, the faint inscription, without the blankness of the person who erected the monument, I want to lie on the cold stone and look up at the stars.

One person dies on the earth, and one more star is in the sky. But there are so many stars, I can't find which one she is.

O'clock. I'm going to see my father. The man who couldn't find any other words to describe than rascal, bastard, shameless, and scumbag.

He didn't care that I knew where I came from, or that my eyes that had been going to kill him for as long as he could remember.

He is so relieved, give the wolf child fangs, and give the tiger cub claws.

The moment I finally stabbed him in the heart, he said to me, "Of all the sons, you are the most like me." ”

I said then I'd rather go back and strangle myself with the umbilical cord.

Many years later, I heard from my stepfather that my mother's husband was originally Jiang Bancheng's subordinate, but later he swallowed a batch of goods and betrayed him, causing his subordinates to lose many people.

Of course, if he was caught, he would naturally end up being beaten to death. And Jiang Bancheng, an undisciplined gangster in the rivers and lakes, in order to vent his anger, must eat his flesh and ride his wife.

After he tortured my mother for half a year, he found out that she was pregnant, and he couldn't bear to do it again.

However, Jiang Bancheng's feelings for me, I think most of them are raised as a dog with some value.

He started paying attention to me later, and only because I started to show up. Despite this bloodstained path, I wish I had gone a little off.

However....... my father's tombstone was smashed by me, so half an hour was enough.

Then I'm going to see Ah Xue, and I want to spend a little more time with her. What if you run into Anan?

I know that Ah Nan likes Ah Xue, and since I dragged Ah Xue to bed for the first time, the fleeting light in the man's eyes can be firmly betrayed.

Ah Xue is like a boy by nature, and when she first started to crawl around in the club, I never allowed her to follow me down. Even as a last resort, you have to defend yourself with a half-human-tall stick.

But she didn't think that was cool, she liked daggers. The kind of ...... that can stab and spin in circles. That's right, it's the same type of military stab that Shu Lan almost pulled out of my intestines later.

At that time, I was like, if one day I could press Ling Xue up, let her put on a skirt and sexy underwear for me, and grow my long hair and birds, what a sense of accomplishment it would be?

Many years later, Anan told me that in fact, Axue was originally a very gentle girl. The reason why she wants to fight alongside you is because she fell in love with you very early.

I thought that only such a woman could be worthy of you Jiang Zuoyi - f**k

It's almost dawn, and I'm leaving the cemetery. What the? I haven't seen Andy and Dani Zhu yet?

Why should I go see them!

They love me, but what about me?

The only thing I can do for these two innocent boys and girls is to never disturb their souls. Because there are only their eyes, which I dare not face in this life and this life.

It's dawn, what else do I have to do?

I went to Shu Lan's house first, the old villa before.

That's where she grew up, and from the moment I showed up in her life, she was dead.

I had never stepped into the world of her childhood, never seen her first pink bicycle, never touched her dusty piano.

I wanted to get there, but I didn't dare to get there.

Because where she is, there is Ye Jinliang.

I was madly envious of their past.

Under each old desk, there was graffiti that they had squeezed in with correction fluid.

Ye Moumou will always love Shu Moumou!

, it's disgusting.

And at that time, I was cutting people.

On the green field of every campus, there are lilacs that they have flown on bicycles, and they have abused the single dogs all the way.

And at that time, I was still slashing people.

Conspiracy grows quietly, betrayal rain or shine.

They grew up, got married, and walked together through the first thirty years of their lives.

At this time, I stopped cutting people and played yin instead. And the first person to stop in the yin is them.

I can't figure out how I fell in love with Shu Lan!

Are hormones really at work between people?

An inexplicable anxiety I unconsciously had with that sad woman made me feel the urge to her again when I saw her again.

From the first time I saw Yezi, the restless pity and love in my heart was just because I cared about her mother?

I guess blood is a wonderful thing, too.

In retrospect, the leaves really look like me.

Leaving Shu Lan's house, I'm going to find a dessert shop where I can have breakfast.

I want the most colorful doughnuts, and I can't quit sweets, just like I can't quit Shulan.

I want to keep the best of this food in my eyes, and accompany me in the endless darkness of the future, relying on memories to sweeten.

I want to remember the brightest smile of the waitress who handed me the food, and I am afraid that every day in the future, people will have to smile at me with sympathy for people with disabilities.

Will they say, look, how handsome that man is, but it's a pity that he is a blind man.

At ten o'clock in the morning, I'm going to take Leaf and Little Zero to the amusement park.

The place with the most colors in the world is the children's world.

Elephants can be pink, and puppies can be patterned.

Flowers can be clustered together in colorful colors, and smiles can be more beautiful than sunlight.

I'm going to take a closer look at my leaves.

Her eyes were round and as beautiful as her mother's. Her mouth is pursed, and her two small teeth have not been replaced, like a little white rabbit.

Her hands are fleshy, and she likes to hug the shoulders of adults and rub my stubble with her little face.

When she laughed, the dimples were almost fat, and she couldn't see it, obviously there was no alcohol, but Xiao Zero was drunk like a dog every time.

I'm also going to have to take a closer look at my little zero. He has the same red-lipped sorghum as Ah Xue, and his eyes are gentler than her mother's. is a standard sissy-level warm man, and even his mother is better than him, but later I found out that this dead child was definitely educated by Anan, and he typically pretends to be a pig and eats a tiger. If this grows up, it will be not a scourge but also a spirit.

Then, I'm going to see my stepfather, the high mountain peak. He is the only existence in my life that can be called a relative and elder. Although, he is also a bad person.

But it can't be helped, we are born like this, no matter how bad you are, but at least be good to me.

For someone like me, who doesn't have a father or mother and doesn't love, don't be greedy for food.

My stepfather told me that in fact, Taki was also a child he cared about very much. I'm about the same age, and my heart is about the same as mine. The only difference is that he treats him as a master, and when he is a master, he has to ask for something in return.

And I regard him as a father, and for the sake of the father, the son can give his life.

I said Dad, you can stay here for the rest of your life. I thank you for this New Year's money on behalf of your granddaughter.

When the sun goes down, I'm going to the beach.

I want to see the blue, the blue of the sea and the sky, like all the sorrows in this world.

We are all guilty, we are all punished, but who can redeem whom, who can surpass himself with peace of mind.

I want to see what life is like on the beach.

There are poets who are struggling to make ends meet, and there are lovelorn girls who are swinging their white dresses and are melancholy. There are children pulling colorful balloons, and there are old people who support each other, walking all the way with gray hair.

In the first half of my life, I was used to seeing conspiracy and killing, and I almost forgot that life should be like this.

When the tide blows on the beach, the waves crash mercilessly on the shore. I'm going to pick up a shell with a trick and put it to my ear.

There, there are souls from afar.

It's dark and I'm going to my resplendour.

Sitting in my exclusive gilded boss chair, looking at the colorful glass ashtray. Then I saw whether the new girls had ignorance or desire in their eyes, and then listened to the assistants report to me the business accounts for the night.

I love the luxurious gold here, because money is not sinful, it is just a combination of human whimsy.

Then I would stand on the rooftop and look down at the neon lights decorating the night.

I know I want to be stable, but I'm better suited to times like these.

At ten o'clock, I was almost the first of three days.

I decided to go to Ye Jinliang.

Without saying a word, give him two slaps. Damn, you dare to beat me up when I can't see it......

The clock strikes twelve, and I'm finally going to see my Cinderella.

I want to hold Shu Lan and see every inch of her graceful skin.

Every scar on her body, mine, not mine, I want to remember all the heartache and despair she once had.

I want to gaze into her eyes, and carve my thoughts and thoughts into my bones.

I want to look down on her red lips, and let all the desires of this life and this life be stained on this charming lip flap.

Remember her tears, remember her smile, remember her blushing cheeks and the expression she couldn't contain in the midst of pleasure.

How could I love a woman to the point of such madness?

is so perverted that she just wants to sacrifice her heart for every minute!

How could I be so hypocritical? So uneasy, she thought that only death could be exchanged for her eternal love and loyalty.

How scared am I of losing her?

There are two more days to go, and I can't waste any more time thinking about this pointless question.

I still have, very, very important things to do --

Here's the plan:

Starting from the next morning, I accompanied Shu Lan to make breakfast, accompanied her to send her children to kindergarten, accompanied her to company meetings, accompanied her to lunch, accompanied her to shop online, accompanied her to play tennis for an hour after work, accompanied her to go to the supermarket to buy vegetables, accompanied her to pick up the leaves home, accompanied her to dinner, accompanied her to deal with mail, accompanied her to watch American dramas, accompanied her to take a bath, accompanied her to heaven, and accompanied her to sleep.

On the third day, repeat.

I think I'm going to do everything I can to keep all of her in my eyes.

This inflated sense of satisfaction was enough to sustain me before I saw the darkness before dawn.

If God would give me countless three days of light, I would repeat and repeat and repeat, because this is what I want to do most in this life.

Shu Lan, I don't dare to say I love you.

Because we are all too real, too proud animals. The more you talk, the more you just bind and move yourself. I just wanted to look at you, just silently, without anyone talking.

Because what is in our eyes is our truest love, and speechlessness is often greater than everything.