I was born wealthy, and it seems that I am destined not to have to endure hardships in this life.

Mom is a person who looks gentle on the outside, but is actually extremely tough on the inside.

She looks like every woman who shushes her children, is gentle and considerate to her husband, likes to take care of the house beautifully, likes to replace the vase with fresh flowers every day, and likes to cook for me and my father with her own hands.

Feng's mother has followed her for so many years, and every time she watches her cook, she feels guilty, saying that she is incompetent as a nanny.

In my memory, my mother is a very warm word, even if she grew up in a wealthy family, she still lives with us in an old community, and what I hear in my ears is the noisy voices of the neighbors.

My father once mentioned that he wanted to move to a villa, but my mother always disagreed, saying that these voices were the breath of life, and she liked it.

Her father loved her very much, so he naturally listened to her for everything.

But in reality, their relationship is not as good as they imagined.

I know, even if I never mentioned it, even if they never quarrel in front of me, but vaguely, I have understood the complicated things between adults.

People outside always praise me for being smart, saying that I am a prodigy and a genius.

My mother told me that geniuses are always unfortunate, and that as long as I grow up, even if I am not smart enough, it is nothing.

So in front of her, I was always the obedient son, and when she watched TV, I would snuggle up to her lap obediently, and when my father was not at home, I would spend every night with her.

I know my mom is unhappy, even if she has a smile on her face all the time.

Before marrying her father, she had a childhood sweetheart, and that person seemed to be friends with her father. Later, for some unknown reason, she separated from her lover, married my father, and then had me.

I didn't know about the entanglement until I was growing up.

Her first love was Uncle Shen.

My mother's family background is good, which is a lot worse than my father, but compared with Uncle Shen, she is like a phoenix on a branch. The two pursued her at the same time, but she fell in love with Uncle Shen.

I don't know why, but I heard that when she was talking about marriage with Uncle Shen, there was a sudden accident that Uncle Shen had a relationship with someone else, and that person was pregnant.

I don't know what kind of mood she was in to marry her father and lead an ordinary family life.

I heard that after she got married, Uncle Shen became more and more bold outside, and the things under his hands became more and more powerful, almost desperately making money, attracting forces from all sides, but he did not marry the woman who was pregnant with his child.

After I was born, he seemed to have committed something and fled to a foreign land, without any news.

Originally, such a peaceful life could be regarded as a kind of happiness, but some of my father's practices made it difficult for my mother to agree.

She hated her father's shady business, and she hated the sudden phone call from home in the middle of the night.

Once, because of a dispute outside, in the early hours of the morning, someone came to the door with an axe and directly scared me into tears. Although they were later driven away, this incident left a deep imprint on my heart.

She discussed this with her father because of this, but no one would budge, and the atmosphere in the house was almost deserted for a while.

But there was no quarrel, but a deathly silence, which made people panic.

Until she suddenly committed suicide.

Solved himself with his father's gun, right in the living room.

I had a bit of a cold that day, and my mom fed me a little cold medicine and then stuffed me under the quilt so that I could get a good night's sleep. Before going to bed, she also kissed my forehead, saying that soon the cold will fly, and let me be obedient, and listen to my father in the future.

I nodded, but after closing my eyes, I couldn't sleep.

A few minutes later, a loud burst of gunfire was heard.

When I ran out of the room barefoot, I saw my mother lying on the table with a pistol dropped.

There were horrible wounds, blood snaking down the table, blood everywhere on the ground, and the sound of ticking in the ears.

Mama Feng ran out of the kitchen, screamed in horror, and then took me into her arms and called my father in a panic.

This family began to change from that time.

Mom's funeral was handled silently and low-key, and the home was a bleak white everywhere.

The floor has been cleaned back and forth by Feng's mother countless times, but every time I bow my head, I feel in a trance that the blood stains there are still there, and it will never disappear.

Sometimes I wonder what kind of mentality she had at that time to kiss me on the forehead and make me obedient.

Facing her son, who was only seven years old, when she was dying, didn't she feel a little reluctant in her heart?

The villa over there in Shuiyunjian was bought early in the morning, but because my mother didn't agree, I never went to live there.

This time, she left us so decisively that my father immediately moved with me. I could feel that he was so scared of this sad place that he didn't even dare to stay here for too long.

His mother had advised him countless times not to touch those dangerous businesses, and to keep his hands from being stained with other people's blood, but he had never listened.

Finally, she stopped persuading, picked up his gun, and taught him a final lesson with her own blood.

A week after the funeral, my father said he was going to take me on a long trip.

It's really far away, in a shabby mountain village, and the car drove for a long time.

The car stopped in front of a house, and my father took me by the hand and got out of the car, and when I entered the house, I saw a sturdy middle-aged man.

The father said, "This is your Uncle Shen." ”

That was the first time I saw Uncle Shen, and I always thought he was missing, and it turned out that he was hiding in this place.

I called Uncle Shen, he nodded to me, pointed to a little girl next to him and said, that is his daughter, her name is Shen Youyi.

My father let the two of us go out to play, and said that the adults wanted to talk about things, so I went out with Shen Youyi.

There was no place to play in the countryside, and there was a river in front of the house, so she took me there.

I'm not in a good mood and don't like to talk to people very much. She was chirping like a magpie, and her curious eyes kept looking at me, and her eyes were bright and beautiful. It's just that the clothes are a little dirty and a little torn, and they look a little pitiful.

Later, when I officially met Youyou, I told her that we had met when we were children, and we had played family games together, saying that she would marry me when she grew up.

Actually, I lied to her.

I've lied to her quite a few times, but she's a bit silly and barely noticeable.

The first time I met her, the ending was not happy.

Not long after my mother died, I was still very autistic. When she saw that the clothes on my body were beautiful, she said enviously, your clothes are so beautiful, did your mother buy them?

I was so stimulated that the tears that I had been holding back in front of my father suddenly rolled in my eyes.

I was afraid to hear the word "Mom", and when I heard it, I remembered the wooden floor that was splattered with blood and the blood stains on the walls.

Out of fear, or something else, I made a mistake and pushed her into the river.

I didn't know what I was doing, and I didn't even go home to ask my father for help, but watched her struggle in the water until someone from the village rescued her and sent her home.

My father asked me very seriously what I was doing.

I shook my head blankly, my mind blank.

I didn't know what I wanted to do, but looking at my hands, I felt scared.

I was cruel enough to push a little girl my age into the river, and I seemed to see that in a few years I would take up a gun, like my father, and face my opponent, or someone who could not even be called an opponent.

This may be the reason why my mother can't stand this family.

She could see better than anyone else that there were two monsters living in this house.

My father was an adult monster with the blood of countless people on his hands and countless dirty deals.

And I, one day, will be like my father.

That's why she is so desperate and uses death to warn us, stop it.

Right and right choked on water in the river and had a fever all the time, and when we left that night, her fever did not go away.

I was a little dazed and a little guilty.

I asked my father how the little girl was. Father said I don't know, your Uncle Feng is in prison, and the things over there are not clear.

I spent many years in a state of panic, afraid that I would kill an innocent person.

It wasn't until many years later, when I met her again, when I unconsciously fell in love with her and thought back to the past again, that I couldn't help but be afraid.

If she had died in that river if she hadn't been careful, how lonely my life would have been.

Perhaps it was the serious illness that burned out her brain, and she said that she had no memory of what happened before she was seven years old, and she didn't even remember seeing me at all.

When I heard these words from her mouth, I only felt a dull pain in my heart.

The cruelest thing in the world is that you scratch your heart and can't sleep, thinking about how to compensate her, only to find that the other party has already forgotten about you.