The temperature of He Qu's palm enveloped me, and I could feel the burning gaze from the top of my head, and he was full of surprise and gratitude for not refusing me, and he called me by name, Feng Jin.

I hesitated to raise my head and meet his gaze, his eyes were tender like water, as if full of moonlight and stars, there were many complexities in my eyes, but these complexities eventually disappeared after weighing.

The best choice is not the best time.

People can't cling to death in a fruitless love, your years can only withstand short-term torture, but the days have to pass little by little.

I looked at the strangulation marks on my wrist that no longer existed, just like the edges and sharpness that I had been smoothed out by love, life, and providence.

Ji Rongke gave me the purple rhinestone, I gave it to He Run, she liked it very much, the last time I saw her still wearing it, I don't know if he saw it, what he would think.

The estrangement between us does not come from each other's retreat, but from standing still, I didn't get close to him anymore, he didn't work hard for it anymore, as He Yichi said, we have done a lot for each other, but no one will talk about it.

Love is at the end of its life in such a seemingly great routine.

I'm still young, and he's not old, but we've lost the courage to fight for it.

It's not half of my life, but I'm too tired.

I want to have a home, I want to have him.

The whole home belongs to me, and it belongs to him alone.

Ji Rongke is a mark that I can't get rid of, vigorously tossing and turning old in my life, melting in my bones and blood, shining in the middle of the night, and blooming in my heart.

I exhaled deeply, looking at He Qu in front of me, he wanted to open his mouth several times, but he saw that I was absent-minded, and finally did not interrupt me, I pulled out a smile, "You have something to say." ”

He pursed his lips as if he had made up his mind, "Yes." ”

After he finished speaking, he suddenly lost his voice, I didn't know how to continue, I thought this silence was particularly interesting, I smiled and asked him what he had, he probably didn't open his mouth to women, and after that young and frivolous age, his whole person was a little awkward, I waited for a long time, but he still didn't say it.

I got up from the bed, squatted in front of the wardrobe and took out the thin silk quilt from the bottom, and replaced the thick quilt on his body.

"It's the beginning of spring, it's too thick to cover, you men are always an afterthought about things in life, and it's really not good to take care of it without a woman."

I shook off the thin quilt and spread it on the bed, He Qu suddenly held my wrist again, and he said with a hint of longing in his eyes, "Can you take care of it for me?" ”

I said I'm helping now.

He owes his body, "In the future, there are still decades to come." ”

My grip on the horn suddenly loosened, and He Qu sensed my strong reaction to his words, and instead of flinching, he grabbed my wrist tighter, as if a stone had pressed against my heart, causing me to breathe.

He looked at my eyes very sincerely, "I am very grateful to you these days, I lost my mother when I was very young, you also know how the He family is now formed, the changes in the family have made me very independent and silent, I don't like to share with others, and I don't like to dissect myself to get closer to more people, I am only passionate about my work, I am not too interested in anything else, I have always thought that I am suitable for myself to live alone, simple and free and unrestrained, especially when I look at my colleagues, They were tortured for a relationship and a marriage, and they were described as emaciated and physically and mentally exhausted, and I am even more sure of this idea. I was worried that I would become a person like my father, who could be in love for ten years, but not for a lifetime, and finally failed the best love and the best woman. ”

When he said this, he suddenly let out, he saw that I was holding a little red wrist by him, he hurriedly let go and said sorry to me, I withdrew my hand and put it on my chest that was constantly rising and falling violently, although I had expected He Qu to pick out with me, but when this moment really came, I still couldn't restrain a little hasty, I asked myself if I wanted to escape, the answer was yes, I couldn't do it like Ji Rongke, who was deeply rooted in my heart but immediately empathized and didn't fall in love with another man, He Qu is very good, he is more honest, more real and gentler than Ji Rongke, But love does not come first and come, and it is even more shameful that it has nothing to do with good or bad.

is so cheap, after meeting such a person, he keeps making cheap, so cheap that he hates himself like this, but he still can't restrain himself.

I lowered my head and looked at the off-white silk quilt, the white is so beautiful, not dazzling white, but clean and pure, but who can live in this color, such a huge and complex society, how can anyone not be dirty at all.

"I'm pregnant with a baby, you know."

After I said this in a hoarse voice, He Qu did not hesitate to say that he knew.

I touched my stomach with my hand, "I'm not going to beat it off." ”

He looked at me with a calm face, "I respect your choice, but I need to ask if you left this child because you couldn't give up the child's father, or simply because the mother wanted to protect the child." ”

I feel that He Qu knows something, but he is not sure, this uncertainty makes him guess, with his cleverness, it will not be long before he guesses Ji Rongke's head, and He Qu's current guess should be him.

He didn't break it because he was able to get by with this chaotic relationship, he knew that Ji Rongke and I were separated by He Run, the huge He family, the strength of He Gui Ancestral Hall, and the gossip and marriage wall.

It is impossible for a wise man to ignore it and let it corrupt and bury it in time.

I didn't deceive him, I said, "I want to be honest with you before I decide if I want to take this step." This step is very important to me, my success or failure and my life are all bets on this step, if you can't give me 100% sincerity, don't accept a bet on me. I don't want to toss anymore, I don't want to go through feelings that can't blossom, I want to have a home, I want to get married, just like those most ordinary women, who have a husband who loves them, and sees work as a pleasure rather than a dependence for their own survival. ”

I was a little emotional After saying this, I didn't let go of every expression on He Qu's face, he pursed his lips in silence, and said to me in a deep voice, "I understand." ”

My fingers pulled at the corners of the quilt hard, my nails almost scratched the silk threads that were wound and stitched on it, the soft and flexible elasticity was like my heart for Ji Rongke, soft enough to be filled with water and sunshine, and hard enough to be indestructible, which made me feel stupid. Every time I finally made up my mind, and because of his gentleness, I was defeated again, and this time I was really going to take a step, and I didn't want to wait.

My voice suddenly choked up at this moment, I couldn't help my eyes from red, I whispered, "I can't let go of the child's father, I love the house and Wu, I can't give up on this child." But we will never be able to go together, separated by thousands of mountains and rivers, but only a leaky flat boat, how can it cross me. If you mind, I'll act like I didn't hear anything and didn't say anything, if you don't mind..."

"I don't mind."

He Qu suddenly interrupted me, and all the words I hadn't had time to say came to an abrupt end, and I was stuck in my throat.

"Your gentle companionship in the past few days, I admit that I am a little greedy, this greed makes me understand that fate can not be sought, and it cannot be squandered and let go. There is no man who doesn't mind those things, but if I miss you because I mind, I will feel more regretful, regret and mind, the former is irretrievable, and the latter can be erased over time. I am willing to try to treat the child in your womb as my own, take care of your mother and son from harm and live a stable life, I am not a romantic person, He Run said I don't understand the indifference of amorous and rigid indifference, you may not be able to get the vigorous from me that you can never let go of in your heart, but I can guarantee that you can get a long and long marriage from the beginning. ”

I looked at He Qu's face, his worried and expectant face at this time, I knew that this man was good to me, and I knew his value to me.

I asked him why, and I couldn't express all my shock except a single why.

He couldn't say it clearly, and the heartbeats that could be explained were not pure, and they were not heartbeats.

I pointed to my heart, "I have nothing." ”

He smiled and said, "That's not great, that's the security you can control, all my motives for getting close to you and marrying you are nothing more than you." ”

After he finished speaking, he stretched his finger to my abdomen and nodded lightly, and he smiled very cleanly and gently, "In addition to the adults, there is also this little person in the belly." ”

Scenes of the past flashed before my eyes after He Qu appeared, and each scene made me sure that I had to catch this man, and that I would miss a lot, a lot, if I missed him.

I don't know how it ended, but time stood completely still, and he took my hand, and we looked at each other through the air, the gentle smile in his eyes, and the calm, almost indifferent gaze in my eyes.

He didn't do anything other than holding hands, such as kissing the corner of my lips, or a hug that changed the relationship between us, he was still so polite, to the point, so that I felt comfortable and peaceful, I didn't need to bear the pressure of a sudden change in role, and it also made me not want to face the selfish and dark things in my heart for the time being, I asked He Qu a little stupidly and hypocritically like all women who fell in love at the beginning, "Will you be good to me." ”

He didn't answer me directly, he asked me if people would be good to him.

I said yes, no matter how stupid a person is, he won't hurt himself.

He smiled and kissed the back of my hand, "People don't hurt themselves, how can I be willing to hurt you, aren't you me." ”

Am I not himself?

I kept repeating this in my mind, half empty and half filled, and I stood in a long corridor from south to north, with a strong wind pouring in through the two windows at the end, blowing my hair in front of my eyes.

I looked at He Qu through the glass on the door, he suddenly raised his head and looked at me, I raised the empty kettle in his hand at him, he showed a smile, it happened to be the brightness of the dusk outside, spilled down obliquely, reflected on his back, plated with a layer of warm light to my heart, he lowered his head again, focused on the copywriting in his hand, his eyebrows still did not smile, he was very happy.

I took out my mobile phone, called up a number, a number that I have never memorized, but I have long been familiar with by heart, my fingers quickly edited a text, I did not hesitate to send it, I looked at the display of the successful delivery, raised my head and closed my eyes and took a deep breath.