There is a saying that illness comes like a mountain, my mother's condition is like this, when Gao Zijian and my father rushed to the hospital, my whole hanging heart was able to let go a little, and my father brought two old doctors from the army to say that they would operate early tomorrow morning.

Li Shu was waiting for me outside the ward, my dad and my brother went to guard the ward, my mom spoke in a very small voice, and after saying a few words, she came out.

My dad's face was cold and serious, and I went over to apologize to him, but my dad told me not to say anything.

I know you're all feeling tired.

Two old doctors and hospital specialists met together to determine the time of the operation early tomorrow morning, and I looked up at the time on the wall, there were still six hours left in the morning.

My brother told me to go back and rest, but I couldn't, so I had to sit outside the ward and wait, for fear that something big would happen.

It was the longest night of my life. At the end of the hallway, the rain beat against the window glass, and the storm swept through the city.

Li Shu was called out by my brother, he didn't let me follow, in fact, I can imagine what my brother will say to Li Shu, I understand, now, everything has to be put on the back burner, my mother's health, is the first thing.

They went out for half an hour, and after half an hour Li Shu sat down beside me, took off his coat, and draped it over me.

My heart was sad for a while. Because I don't know how I can talk to Li Shu at my mother's request.

However, I didn't dare to speak.

Everything will wait for my mother's surgery. For now, I'll pretend to be silent.

The family of three stayed in front of the ward, for fear that if there was an accident, the closest person would leave me.

I thought about the scene where I had an argument with my mother at the end, and I really regretted it, but in this world, there is no regret medicine at all.

I still know my mother's body, because of my bad heart, I came to the hospital once in my freshman year of high school, and that time, she stayed in the hospital for a long time. In order not to affect my studies, she and her father did not tell me about her condition at all, and now, the second time she has to undergo surgery, she is still angry with her daughter and goes to the hospital.

What exactly did I do?

That night I did not seem to sleep until dawn.

The operation lasted more than three hours, and the sweat in my palms became thicker and thicker every time, I was so afraid, I was really afraid.

I don't know what my mom will be like inside, but I can't help but cry just thinking about those scenes on TV.

Li Shu didn't go to work and stayed by my side. He was silent, and I knew he must have blamed himself.

When the surgeon finally came out of the operating room, I hurriedly stood up, only to find that my legs were weak, and my loved ones, the closest people in the world, were all by my side.

The surgery was a success, and now my mother needs to recuperate.

I finally breathed a sigh of relief.

My dad told me and my brother to go back to rest, but he stayed by my mom's side every step of the way.

I didn't want to go back, but I couldn't open my eyes anymore.

It was Li Shu who sent me back.

Aunt Xia prepared a meal for everyone, but I couldn't eat a bite, and Li Shu sent me home and went back. Lying on the bed, I slept for a long time.

I had a lot of dreams again. I thought of calling my mom smoking marijuana in my student dormitory in Great Britain and asking her about the plum tree.

That time, I was desperate.

I told my mom to help me find him, or he would never see me again.

We hate each other.

Then, the dream woke up.

I hurriedly washed my face, packed my meals, and rushed to the hospital.

It was already past eleven o'clock in the evening.

It was still raining outside, and the corners of my skirt were wet droplets, so I carried my things to the ward, and stood at the door, but I didn't dare to go in.

On the hospital bed, my mother was lying there with a faint breath, her eyebrows tightly locked, not knowing what she was thinking.

My dad noticed me and walked straight to the door of the ward, took what I was holding, and sighed softly.

"Your mother woke up once at noon and asked if you had done what you promised her? What did you two say? My dad looked at me and asked.

I know, my mom was talking about love letters.

I nodded lightly and said, "When she asked again, she said she did everything she said." ”

My dad didn't speak, I handed over the meal and called Li Shu.

If my mother hadn't been hospitalized, perhaps, I would have done what I thought as always, and I wouldn't estimate anything else, but this time, I suddenly understood that there are many choices in life, and I can't decide what I can't decide.

Especially, the one who gives you the choice is still your mom.

Li Shu's voice on the other end of the phone was still sleepy, and I suddenly felt very unbearable. What should I say and do when I meet him?

If this is fate, what should I say?

Li Shu didn't wait for me to finish speaking, he had already gone out, he said it was too late, let me wait for him at the entrance of the hospital.

My dad and my brother were in charge of taking care of my mom, and I hurried out of the hospital alone, walking slowly along the path where Li Shu might come, thinking as I walked, what should I do?

I can't bear it.

Burning love letters, for me, is a blasphemy of our love, I can't do it, and once I do, it's time to say goodbye. 、

But I promised my mom.

The mobile phone rang twice, and when I turned my head sideways, I saw Li Shu sitting in the car.

I still didn't think of how to tell Li Shu about the temporary separation. It was already obvious what my mom meant by asking me to burn the love letters. I know what she means. But can Li Shu understand? At this moment, I want to be separated from him for a while...... Can he understand this?

Li Shu meant to take me for a spin, but at eleven or twelve o'clock, where I was in the mood, he would send me home.

He sensed that my tone was not very good, the car entered the compound and stopped at the door of my house, I took a soft breath and said, "Li Shu, actually, I have something I want to tell you......"

It's finally time for the critical moment, and it's hard for me to imagine how Li Shu will react after I say that sentence.

"You say." Li Shu's tone was flat, and his face was also calm.

"My mother's situation, you have also seen it, I think, we ......" I deliberately avoided Li Shu's eyes when I spoke, coughed lightly, and continued: "We, can we, be separated for a while?" ”

There was a long silence.

Maybe I thought a long time ago, according to Li Shu's character, his reflection is already very well controlled. But what to do? My mom didn't agree, and I couldn't help it.

"I mean...... For the time being...... "I saw that Li Shu didn't speak, so I continued."

Li Shu suddenly raised his head, glanced at me meaningfully, and said, "Ranran, we have come this far, and Zijian also promised to help me intercede, and we will be together." ”

"But now my mother is in the hospital......" After listening to Li Shu's words, I was a little anxious and irritable.

"I know, this is something we don't want," Li Shu explained, "but there's no need to separate, then, give me a little time, and I'll think of a way ......."

"Li Shu......" I interrupted Li Shu's words and looked at him with a begging expression, "Please......"

"I ......"

There was a long silence again.

I didn't want to stay any longer, so I just opened the car door and headed inside.

I can't say anything about the love letter, even if Li Shu can understand it, I can't say it.

I will plum tree still downstairs in my house.

His car never drove away. I walked in through the window, glanced at the envelope on the bed, and couldn't help but tears falling from my eyes.

Go up in flames.

Mom, you're pushing me.

I bit my lip, took out the envelope, walked straight to the bathroom, took out the lighter, took out the first one, took a light breath, pressed the flame of the lighter, the warm yellow halo was just close to the letter, and my tears flowed down my cheeks.

Burned. Go up in flames.

That time, that waiting time, everything you can't give up, everything you use to record at that time, burn it.

But who am I fighting against? With yourself? With Mom, or with Plum Tree?

The flames moved along the letter paper little by little, and my heart felt as if it had been cut open by a knife.

I raised my head in surprise and heard Li Shu calling me, and then he went into the bathroom.

He looked at me, and I looked at him, there were drops of water on the tips of his hair, and he looked at me with a surprised look on his face, and said, "Gao Ziran, what are you doing sitting here?" ”

My tears slid down my cheeks, and I looked at Li Shu, and said in a choked voice, "Li Shu, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." ”

Li Shu squatted beside me, looked along my hand, saw the envelope and lighter in my hand, for a moment, he seemed to understand what I was doing, his strong arm hugged me tightly in the next second, and said, "Gao Ziran, what are you doing?" ”

"Li Shu, I can't be with you......" I bit my lip and said this, my whole body was already trembling, and I continued: "I can't live without my mother......"

"So...... To burn everything I wrote to you? Li Shu's voice was cold, and I knew that he must be more upset than me.

But what to do, I ...... I can't be with you.

"I'm sorry ......"

Li Shu put his hands on my shoulders, looked at me seriously, and said, "Gao Ziran, you look at me, you look at me." Everything you're doing now is forced, isn't it? We can get this hard, do you have to do it? ”

I looked at Li Shu with tears in my eyes and said, "I'm sorry, I can't, without my mother'......"

"What about me? What if I'm lying in the hospital? Gao Ziran, will you still be so cruel? You tell me? Li Shu grabbed me like crazy and asked viciously.

I raised my head and looked at Li Shu and said, "Li Shu, let's be separated for a while." Give me some time......"

Li Shu looked at me in surprise, with loss in his whole eyes, he suddenly put down his hand that was holding my hand tightly, sneered softly, and said, "Gao Ziran, you ...... You ......"

Li Shu didn't say his last words, he had already gotten up, walked past me, and walked out in silence.

(Tianjin)