After a long time, I calmly asked, "Where is this?" ”

I put my lunch box down and looked around the room. (9) Eight] (9) Eight] (9) Read] (9) Book, .2≧ ↗ from the structure of the view is also forty square, there is a cloth curtain in the middle of the separation, a total of two beds, one is a wooden bed, one is a steel wire board bed, now rare, the grandfather's house used to have, the width and train sleeper is about the same, can be folded, covered with a soldier's quilt, very old, I twisted a corner to see and wrote a name, especially the name of the soil, not Shanglin.

The simplest drawstring bulb, very dim light.

Under this kind of light, people look like characters in old movies, I can't help but think of a place where Xu Mushen once took me, where the sound of clocks and watches sounded, there is a feeling that time has been slowed down, and my heart has been slowed down, and now, I have a similar feeling.

Shang Lin's fingers were still slowly winding around Xiao Yan's face. "The first year I just came back, where I lived," he said. ”

Shang Lin smiled coldly at me: "Ciyun has also lived in a house as bad as here. He lived, and after his career was successful, many people admired him, and turned all the hardships he had suffered into an example. I live as a cockroach, and people will only think that I am useless as a man. ”

To be honest, my heart ached slightly when I heard this. Shang Lin was a top student when he was studying, and his brain must have been very good. If it hadn't been for that accident, maybe this would have been a master's degree, a doctorate, a returnee, in short, a lot of possibilities.

I didn't talk about Shang Lin's silhouette, I told him: "Success also requires hard work, you are not so bad, you can be the behind-the-scenes boss of a new listed company, you are also very good, why do you have to ruin Yunshen?" If I get sick, I will definitely cherish every minute and every second of the present, and it will be gone. Besides, don't you think that if you are so right, he will only hate you more and more? ”

Shang Lin bowed his head, his eyes lowered, and once again said in his unique and unpleasantly slow voice: "If I can respond to him, it would be nice to think about it." Brother and sister, I am different from you. You can see hope, I can't see it, you can be positive, I just want to keep some memories. Don't try to convince me, it's useless. After all, the result of breaking the cocoon may be a butterfly, or it may be ......" Shang Lin suddenly looked at me: "It's a worm that rots into a pool of water." ”

I secretly regret it.

Some people are just so stubborn, and stubbornness is also an attitude. It turns out that those who can stand up to their opinions and end up being praised are said to have a temper and a personality, and then become a fool in the first place.

"Well, I won't convince you. Tell me, what are you trying to do with me and the child? "Right now, that's the point compared to a howling stomach.

Shang Lin smiled slowly: "I will tell Ciyun that you are asleep with me, and you don't want children." ”

I looked at him in disbelief with wide eyes and asked, "You, you say it again?" ”

"That's it." He said.

"You! How are you like that! "The child is still being held by him, I don't know which district this is, looking out of the window, this house is independent of the golden rooster, and the rest of the place is either a tree or a dark night.

"Brother and sister, I bought this house a few years ago. The people of this village have gone to other places to raise fish. The young people and the rich have all moved to the city, and the old ones are either unable to walk and can't hear, or they are thrown by their sons and daughters to fend for themselves, and no one can care about you. Shang Lin stood up and was a lot taller than me, he suddenly tore off my shirt and shoulders, I covered it to tidy it up, he asked me if the child wanted it, so I didn't move again.

Shang Lin put the child on the bed, I immediately rushed to hug it, he pushed my hand, and I was pushed so much that I almost fell to the ground.

I'm fat, I'm no longer the little sparrow less than ninety pounds, but Shang Lin's hand still hugged me easily, he approached me and said slowly: "Brother and sister, it's better not to move." ”

I knew what he meant, and the feeling of being so concerned and unable to resist was terrible.

He kissed me on the neck, took out his phone and took a lot of pictures. My tears fell, not because of humiliation, but when I thought of Shang Lin going to talk nonsense to Jiang Ciyun, I felt like I saw his expression in advance and imagined his anger, even out of line, crazy.

Shang Lin wiped my tears when he put away his phone, he laughed when I cried, and I felt like a pervert again.

"I don't think you should cry, it's not worth it." Shang Lin wiped his tears and was really similar to Jiang Ciyun, his movements, the frequency of circuits, and even the sense of softness were very similar.

I glared at him, my hands hanging on my sides trembled faintly, and I wanted to swing my fist and punch him in the face, but when I thought of how much he had been beaten, my fist couldn't be extended, and in the end, it was only slowly released.

"For, why isn't it worth it? You can't beat him, he's said before that even if something happens to me, he'll want me. "I froze in place, my eyes hurt a little.

Shang Lin said: "You don't understand him at all. Maybe you've been touched by another man, and he'll want you. But if it were me, he wouldn't. ”

The last line of defense I was desperately trying to hold was breached. Because Shang Lin's words really came true.

Shang Lin told Jiang Ciyun about his medical history, he sent him the photo, and then I saw the reply sent by Jiang Ciyun with my own eyes, and those words gave me a fatal blow.

I've been here for so long that I can't remember the time. It's just that Xiaoyan will leave, call his mother, eat by himself, and know a lot of things.

I measured her height, and she looked like Ciyun, with eyes, nose, and mouth. I just face such a face every day, as if I personally felt Shen Yin's original pain.

Shang Lin said that he had already arranged a cemetery nearby, and there was no pomp of the cemetery, just a piece of loess and a stone stele.

I don't know where Jiang Ciyun went, anyway, after that news, there was no news of him in newspapers and TV, and he seemed to be silent as if the world had evaporated.

And my company is still operating, and it is still the person arranged by Jiang Ciyun last time, and I don't have the courage to go back. If I didn't have Jiang Ciyun in my life, it might not exist at all.

"I want to go for a walk." I say.

"Hmm." Shang Lin smoked a cigarette with his head down.

I quietly removed the cigarette from my fingertips: "Stop smoking." It's good to live an extra day. And I don't see any symptoms in you, so help me take care of the baby. ”

"Call a sick person to help you take care of the child, are you relieved?" Shang Lin couldn't help but laugh a little.

If it had been, of course I wouldn't have been reassured. But during this time, this person who destroyed all my illusions with his own hands really helped me a lot. He loves children, it's true. I also knew all what happened to him over the years, and I couldn't hate him at all, because after Jiang Ciyun disappeared, he transferred all the shares to Xu Mushen, and he was relaxed.

"For you, there are no regrets in life, right?" I asked him.

He said he was bad, and he was very bad. I said no, and he laughed, and he nodded in acknowledgement, saying that he wasn't a bad person, just a poor person.

It was cold in winter, and he and I gathered around the fire to roast our hands.

I haven't mentioned the name Jiang Ciyun for a long time, as if I want to deliberately pull it out. But the firelight hit Shang Lin's face, and I grabbed him in a bit of a trance and shouted: "Jiang Ciyun." ”

Shang Lin said that I was sick, and I had been sick for a long time. I said, I'm not sick, I'm fine.

He frowned: "No, you're really sick. He poked himself in the temple and said, "Here." ”

Perhaps, I am really sick.

There are no more accidents, no more pursuit of profit, and no love and hate. Even when I saw Xiaoyan, there were many times when I couldn't tell what it was like.

When I left the village, I took the money Shang Lin gave me, and Shang Lin said that he would tell me something when I returned.

I didn't have much thought, nodded and dealt with it casually, I walked through the cities that Jiang Ciyun took me to, and some very inconspicuous villages.

The sound of reading attracted me, and in a few years, Xiaoyan would also be in elementary school, and my own reading era was far from the last century.

I walked to the door, and Mr. Security stopped me, looked me up and down, and said, "Parents of students?" Haven't seen it? ”

I waved my hand and said no.

He wouldn't let me in, and I had to leave.

When he turned around, Lin Chao took a child and said, "I can't go to school next time, you know?" ”

When she lifted her eyes, she saw me too.

I was a little afraid to recognize her, and she was a little afraid to recognize me. Starting

"Tang Ying."

"Lin Chao?"

Years later, my heart has stopped.

She dropped the kids off at school and sat side by side with me on a chair in the playground.

She was married, married to a man who was eleven years older than her, and she was relieved to show me a picture of her husband, a very dark man, with a very generous smile.

I didn't speak, I looked at her.

Lin Chao is such a smart woman, she probably guessed my mind and laughed: "Is it ugly? That's certainly not a resignation. ”