In my young memory, I already had my own concept of women, and I always thought that all women, including my mother, were synonymous with gentleness and kindness.

It wasn't until one day, after a certain girl took off my pants in the compound, that I deeply realized that there are excellent products everywhere in this world, and someone is refreshing my concept every day.

And this person's name is Gao Ziran.

To be honest, when she was a child, she really didn't look like a girl at all. Except for a pair of big flickering eyes, the rest of the appearance is similar to the rest of us.

is such a little girl, who has the fat man of Uncle Wang's family three times, and the tall man of Aunt Li's family more than five times, and directly established her prestige in the yard.

I remember that at that time, Gao Ziran was a little taller than me. So looking at it from a distance, I feel that she has a queenly feeling on her body.

is such a girl who causes trouble all day long, with her father's love, her mother's love, and her brother's spoiledness, she doesn't know the height of the sky at all.

Of course, at that time, I didn't have these grievances at all, because she was quite righteous enough, and every time she climbed over the courtyard wall and picked persimmons from the yard next door, she would give everyone a share.

My dad goes out early and returns late every day, and my mom is busy with the shops outside the second ring road every day, and I am the only one at home.

Sometimes, having a bad one is better than nothing. For a little playmate like Gao Ziran, that's what I think.

I envy Uncle Gao for taking turns hanging his two children around his neck and taking them on a plane every time, but I have never had such an experience.

I didn't know why at the time, but it wasn't until I came home from school again and found the bedroom door unclosed and saw a woman sitting in my father's arms that I finally understood why.

The relationship between my dad and my mom is not as good as it seems.

So on my birthday, my dad scolded my mom in front of me and slammed the door.

My mom locked herself in the house and cried, and no matter how much I knocked on the door, she wouldn't open it.

I stood alone in the doorway, looking at the candles that had not yet been lit, quietly wiping away tears.

Gao Zijian and Gao Ziran happened to pass by my door, holding colorful glow sticks in their hands, shining dazzlingly in the dark night.

I don't know how to recognize Gao Ziran, now think about it, isn't she the flickering glow stick in my dark night?

Gao Ziran also found me, at that time he still had short ear-length hair, a pair of big black eyes, and a small tiger tooth, saw me standing at the door, and smiled at me.

Gao Ziran has a lot of ghost ideas, seeing the cake in my house, he tried to hook me up, and he was worried that his parents would say it, so he could only stand at the door and watch dryly.

I cut a piece and walked out, put it on her hand, and didn't speak.

She didn't take it, but pointed to the candle on the table and motioned for me to take one out.

I took a candle, took a lighter, and ran with Gao Ziran to the woods in the community to secretly light the candle.

Before that, Gao Ziran and I had a grudge, picking up my pants and playing water guns, she always bullied me.

So when I lit candles with her, I deliberately increased my precautions.

It's just that I miscalculated, to be precise, this second girl didn't know how to open her brain, and she actually put a candle in and sang me a birthday song.

Intermittently, inaccurately, in the warm red candlelight, you can see her long eyelashes fluttering, like a butterfly flying in the sunset, very beautiful.

That year, I was nine years old. Gao Ziran is eight years old.

In the following ten years, I followed my parents to the north and south, went to better and better schools, met more and more people, and countless girls, but every lonely night, I can think of those sparkling eyes.

It's just that before leaving, I didn't have time to say goodbye to her.

I found the photo studio that helped us take pictures that day, and begged him to wash a picture of her, put it in a wallet, and it is still there.

The college entrance examination needs to be held in the city, so I hurriedly went back to my grandmother's house, passing by the grocery store I once liked, which has become a dessert room. A lot of things, like me, are changing.

Two girls came out of the dessert room, one in front of the other, holding a small piece of mousse in their hands, and they ate very sweetly.

This once again inspired me to think of the girl who lit a candle for me in the grove that autumn many years ago.

"Lu Xiaoping, the teacher may let me go to the blackboard today, remember to tell me the answer when the time comes!"

"I don't want to, I was almost found last time......"

"Didn't you say yes? I invite you to eat Napoleon, you tell me the answer, good! ”

Two girls bounced past me, and the conversation was flat.

"Gao Ziran, this is the last time, there is no next time, remember!"

With big eyes and sticking out their tongues, two girls in school uniforms passed by me, and they were very cute.

The next second, my footsteps stopped.

Because it automatically filters out unwanted things, there are only three words "Gao Ziran" in my ears.

Maybe I've seen more things over the years, so it's hard to be very touched, but now, when I hear this name again, I still feel like an electric current has struck me in my body, which is very profound.

When I came back three days before the college entrance examination and went to the school to get the admission ticket, what I didn't expect was that I would meet her.

If I had to summarize the reasons for such a chance encounter, then I could only attribute it to fate.

For the remaining two days, I waited for her in the same place, but she never passed by again.

Now think about it, the original idea can be so simple and simple, why as you grow older, a person's thoughts have increased, and they can't be as simple as they were at the beginning.

I've been thinking about one thing these days, I'm not stupid, I can feel her heart completely, it's just that I've been hesitating, fighting for it like this, whether it's right or wrong.

I also know what trials we will face together, and I am too worried that she will suffer with me.

And what I owe Yueyue can't be paid off so easily.

Ziran's mother could have said those words to me so decisively at the beginning, and I think it will be the same in the future.

After experiencing life and death once, many things can be seen plainly, but this time, I can't be free and easy at all.

For her untrustworthiness and her departure, how can I not have hatred in my heart? But being angry is angry, and punishing her is better than punishing myself.

To be honest, I didn't expect her to come back, I went to Paris half a year ago, and I couldn't help but be moved when I saw Gao Zijian and her going in and out of the school dance party, looking at her slim and slim.

I also want to go up and scold her for being cruel, and I also want to find a woman to stimulate her, but I also understand that all of this is due to the fact that I can't let go.

She didn't seem to understand why I, a repeater, was in her class and was against her at every turn.

In her eyes, sitting in the back row of her is the sports commissioner, which seems to be more relatable. Two packs of snacks can be bought, not that she is too stupid, but that she is too stupid.

Other students are working hard to write books, with a pack of snacks in one hand and a comic in the other, and they are living a chic and chic life.

In my eyes, she is a girl who does not eat the fireworks of the world.

Because of this, I dare not blaspheme her easily.

I remember that Friday in my third year of high school, a classmate in the class proposed a class activity, and she was mopping the floor without hesitation, throwing it over with a mop and saying yes at the top of her voice.

Then, taking the hands of her table mates and the sports committee, the two tables side by side, didn't notice my eyes at all.

That hand, just holding that hand so unscrupulously.

She didn't seem to care at all, in fact, one of the boys' faces was already red.

I'm also uncomfortable. After all, for me, all about her, the precious first time, I want to occupy alone.

Later, I discovered her weakness, which was learning.

The old man in physics didn't know who he was instructed to do, and every time he asked a question in class, he would call her name. And each time, her answer is bizarre.

When others laughed, she laughed too, and after laughing, she covered her face with a book, not knowing whether she was shy or arrogant.

I couldn't bear it a little, so I took the initiative to answer a question for her, but I didn't expect that by mistake, she actually found me.

I pretended to ignore it, only I knew that every little note of hers was a treasure that I secretly treasured.

If it's good, it's straightforward, but if it's not good, it's Taier.

But every time I saw her looking for me with a book, I couldn't help but want to touch her head, thinking about her looking at me with a smile on her face.

To my frustration, I spent two hours drawing his attention to my presence, but she sold me to the teacher on the day of the health check.

I knew that there must be no chance to please invisibly, and I had to find something that would make her remember, and as a result, I broke an arm, and finally, let her succeed and remember me.

Actually, I didn't expect to fall down the stairs that time, but I couldn't help but kiss it.

Maybe it's because her arm hurts so much and needs a little tenderness — that's what she said.

Entanglement of fate, time and space, I have been paralyzing myself for the past two years, thinking that I can do it without paying attention, but in the end, I found out that God gave me such a temperament, and I always have to find someone to clean me up, and this person is Gao Ziran.