"The meaning behind the engagement is much greater than the meaning of the engagement itself. Where do adults care if they feel happy in their hearts, what they want is the result of the alliance. Just like the ancient emperors used the princess and relatives to achieve stability in the frontier, the essence is nothing more than to take what they need. I sighed faintly, with an indescribable amazement in my heart.

"The essence of anything in this world in the end is just to take what you need, adults are not wrong, everyone who has come over understands that feelings are just fleeting things, and only everything in your hands is the most real." There was a different kind of indifference in Xingfeng's words.

"It seems that you are such a person too. If so, wouldn't it be miserable for a woman to fall in love with you? I said.

"No, everyone has a boiling point for feelings, but the level is different. Before I met a woman who could make me boil enough, my attitude towards life was all rational. After all, I'm past the age of a moth like you to fight a fire. After he finished speaking, he laughed to himself, and sighed: "It's good to be young, you can have dreams." When you don't even bother to dream about it, life must be so unfun. ”

"What kind of woman can make you boil?" I couldn't help but ask curiously.

He shook his head and suddenly sped up, seeing that the traffic in front of him was crowded, he still increased the throttle and overtook quickly, which scared my heart so much that I forgot to scream.

"Pretty calm." He finally slowed down and complimented me before responding to me: "It's hard to have another in this world." ”

"Why?" I was intrigued.

"Ask so much what? Curious about me? Curiosity is the beginning of falling in love with a man, so be careful. Unexpectedly, he changed his words and began to tease me again.

I was immediately distracted, grimaced at him, turned my head to look out the window, and didn't bother to talk to him anymore.

He took me back to the dorm and asked me to change my clothes, so I went upstairs, changed into a refreshing outfit and went downstairs again, not even bothering to put on makeup.

When he saw it, he frowned: "Are you going to go to the engagement ceremony like this?" You're losing my face. ”

"Then I'm not going. It doesn't make much sense to go anyway. If you don't have a female companion, I can ask my sister or Xiaoxue to accompany you. I said.

He smiled helplessly, and he said, "Forget it, I won't force you." Let's go, get in the car! ”

So I got in the car, and he drove me to the True Color Restaurant, the place where Jin Yan got engaged. Along the way, he looked at me several times and finally couldn't help but say, "Do you want to be there as my female companion, or just to have a look?" ”

"What's the difference between the two?" I asked.

"As my female companion, she wants to accompany me to socialize and toast together, and sit together until the banquet is over. If you just go and see, I'll help you get in, and you can leave at any time. He said.

"Then I'll take a look and leave." I chose the latter without hesitation.

I don't want to appear at Jin Yan's engagement ceremony in such a high-profile manner, I don't want to see him smiling when he sees me, I don't want to see him and Shen Ziyan raise their eyebrows and toast me together, and I don't want to see them standing together like a pair of beautiful people......

Xing Feng didn't know where to get a wedding staff's work card, put it around my neck, and told me: "I won't be able to take care of you for a while, if you want to leave early, send me a message." On the east side, there are all self-service snacks, so if you are hungry, you can get them yourself. You, Adou, who can't help you, still want to take you to see a good show, but I didn't expect you to admit it before you played. ”

After he finished speaking, he shook his head to himself, and as soon as he turned around, he disappeared into the crowd, and quickly switched to the face of a business person, socializing with the guests who came and went.

I hid in the crowd and looked around at this world, which I was completely unfamiliar with, and after searching for a long time I found a relatively secluded corner, where I stood and looked at these well-dressed and elegantly talkative nobles, and my heart welled up with endless sorrow and a sense of great disparity.

This is not the first time I have played such a role where I can only hide in the shadows and peep, in fact, I have experienced this feeling too many times after meeting Jin Yan. Every time I looked at him from afar through the crowd, every time I watched his life like an outsider, every time I saw him appear not far from me in such a prominent capacity, I felt like a clown.

What about how we live in each other's hearts, no one in his world cares about this. Love is precious to a type of person, and there is no love or joy. But for the upper class, the drama of love and love is not enough to be practical with bundles of banknotes, a set of beautifully decorated houses, and treasures at your fingertips.

People here, who will notice that this girl standing in the corner, with someone else's work card around her neck and cheap clothes on her body, will be the person in the heart of the soon-to-betrothed male protagonist today? Who would have thought that this girl had just experienced a heart-rending parting with the male protagonist last night, and even the paleness on his face was caused by the scars she gave?

None of this is important to others, not important at all. What is important is how many heavyweight guests will appear in this engagement ceremony, what kind of business will be promoted, what kind of large-scale actions will be made in H City after the two strong alliances, and what kind of impact will it have on H City's economy.

I stood there dumbfounded, my head struggling to think, I was even driven away by the waiter to stand somewhere else and not get in the way, I didn't argue, just smiled awkwardly and humbly apologized.

A huge inferiority complex surrounded me, and I felt like I was caught in a black fog that I couldn't see my fingers, and all the self I had worked so hard to build collapsed...... Standing here, I don't even know who I am. However, who knows who the people here know who they are? They are all packaged with various identities, the sons of so-and-so general manager, so-and-so director, and so-and-so deputy mayor......

Finally, after the host said a series of names one after another, two "newcomers" entered

I saw Jin Yan at a glance, he was wearing a white suit, standing on the stage and was as clean as a pine.

Will he know I'm there? I don't think he would have guessed. He didn't have a smile on his face, was it because he wasn't healed or because he wasn't happy in his heart? Will he think of me at this moment?

I looked at him from afar, watching him and Shen Ziyan carry out all kinds of loving and sweet actions under the arrangement of the host, I saw that his movements were mechanical and clumsy, he put a ring on Shen Ziyan's hand but did not put it on for a long time, he glanced at the audience but did not find me in the crowd...... The moment he and Shen Ziyan kissed, I turned around and walked out towards the door.

When the door was closed, I knew I had been shut out of his world. Actually, I was outside of his world, and everything about him had nothing to do with me. But why am I still so sad? Why do my tears keep falling and look so cheap?

In order to vent my inner feelings, I ran wildly down the road, and I ran wildly along the long road, until I felt like my legs were filled with lead and my heart felt like it was about to fall off, and then I sat down on the ground. As soon as I looked up, the sky was still the same day, the city was still the same city, the road was still full of traffic as always, and the mother pushing the child and the old man walking were still passing me so idlely, but I felt so lonely, so desperate, so overwhelmed.

We're just in love, isn't that wrong? We are all human beings, so why are we so different? We have slept together, but why are we in a different world when we wake up? We love each other, why can't we be together? Can anyone tell me why? Can anyone tell me what's wrong?

I shouted madly at the sky, asking aloud, begging like a madman that Heaven would give me a response and tell me how to put such emotions.

If there is love in the sky, the sky will be old. At this moment, boundless despair surrounded me.

When I was a child, my teacher told me that there was a word called "Tian Yan", which I didn't know what it meant. But on this day, I understood it very deeply.

I ran to the edge of the Su River in one go, climbed the long embankment, and stared at the flowing river in a silent daze.

When I was a child, I used to sit on the edge of the Panjia River, looking at the green and quiet water of the Panjia River, thinking about what kind of men I might meet in the future and what kind of stories I would experience; And now, I sit on the edge of the Su River, looking at the muddy mud and muddy water in the Su River, wishing that I had never had such an experience, and that it was better than the taste of this soul being drained.

I sat quietly next to the Su River for a long, long time, the evening breeze gently brushing my cheeks, as if to soothe my frustration and sadness. Sitting here, my heart quieted down little by little.

The sun went down and the moon came out, casting a mysterious aura over the tranquil Su River. The water, which was still muddy during the day, was now sparkling in the moonlight, and the annoying smell of fish was blown away by the evening breeze, and a small boat that fished for garbage in the river passed in front of me leisurely, and I smiled at the boatman, but he didn't see it, and I thought he must be in a hurry to go home, and there must be a wife and children waiting for him to come home, and perhaps a fragrant meal......

I suddenly felt hungry at the thought of food, I didn't seem to have eaten for a day, and I had spent the day in a panic from the early morning to the hospital, and I had almost forgotten about eating, and even the mountains of delicate pastries that had been on the venue had not aroused my appetite at all.

I remember when I was a child, my mother would prepare a hearty dinner for my father every day when she was not in bed. My sister and I drooled and circled around the table, waiting for the sun to go down and my dad finally came home late.

I suddenly remembered the way my mother looked at my father, that kind of eyes were full of countless love, I had never heard them say half a word of love, but more than half a century later, no matter how bad my mother's health was, my father never once had the idea of abandoning her. Although my father has complained a lot about me since I was a child, his love for my mother is as deep and long-lasting as the water of the Panjia River, which can withstand the exposure of the sun and the invasion of the cold wind......

At this moment, I wiped away the tears on my face, rubbed my gurgling belly, smiled at Su He with relief, and said to myself: Perhaps, the love of my parents is called love. And this paragraph of mine may only be called youth.

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