Pei Shuyi (2)

I paused and stood there without moving, Pei Tingqing did not stop, it seemed to return to the scene where I saw him for the first time in Pei's house, the rain was dripping like silk and mist, like a picture scroll spread out in front of me, clear and elegant, quiet and silent, it seemed that I was the only one in front of the villa, I stared at the figure from a very distant time and space, and stood still for a long time until the end of the piano sound.

This time he didn't look back at me, but he didn't leave, I took the umbrella in Xiang Yuyao's hand, and motioned him to avoid it first, but he meant that he was worried that Pei Tingqing would cut my neck with a dagger when he went crazy, and told me with his eyes that he was not far away, and if something really happened, he must be called.

He knows my feelings for Pei Tingqing so well, and knows that if Pei Tingqing wants to hurt me, I will not resist, and I am willing to die in Pei Tingqing's arms, I nodded softly to Xiang Yuyao, and when Xiang Yuyao walked away, I held the umbrella in front of Pei Tingqing, stood there and silently held the umbrella above his head, I wanted to say go in and don't catch a cold, but I opened my mouth, only to find that my throat was blocked, and I almost choked up.

Pei Tingqing was very calm, this calmness made me very worried, not worried about what he would do to me, but I was afraid of what he would do to himself, he sat on the piano bench, and it took a long time for him to turn around, his eyes fell on my slightly bulging belly, "How many months?" He asked me, his voice hoarse and desolate, as if he hadn't said a word for many days, but I could still hear the little anticipation in his tone.

Until this moment, is he still expecting my belly to be his child? He sat and I stood, his dark hair on his forehead covering his eyebrows, and I kept my head down but I couldn't see his expression.

I kept the movement of raising the umbrella, pinned my face to the side, wet and hot tears slipped out of the corners of my eyes, biting my lip and breathing deeply so as not to suffocate myself, I used a lot of strength to say to my child's biological father: "Three months old, but the doctor said that this child has developed better and grows bigger than ordinary children, so the belly is obvious at this time." ”

The meaning of these words is very clear, after he left Japan for the last time, I was with Xiang Yuyao very quickly, and then I became pregnant and had this child, which also confirmed his previous statement.

He didn't react much after hearing this, just nodded symbolically, "I see, I was wrong that I shouldn't have left you at that time." His voice was rustling, like the sound of the wind blowing through the bamboo forest, and my heart was desolate when I heard it.

Pei Tingqing's lips were pale, and he said one by one, "If I had been by your side, maybe Xiang Yuyao would not have a chance, and this would not be the result between us, or maybe there was no love between men and women, and there was no love between us, like at that time, I was only a brother and sister, I suppressed it and didn't take the first step, so now I won't be so miserable that I can't be loved." ”

Hearing this, my body trembled suddenly, "Big ............"

"Actually, I miss that time." Pei Tingqing interrupted me, he was still sitting facing me, his eyes never took his eyes off my stomach, I didn't know what he was thinking, "If I were just your cousin, I could still hold your hand when crossing the street; I don't dislike you, give me what you eat; can hug you appropriately and sit in the same bed with you to watch your favorite anime; Make you dependent on me, make my big brother spoil me, and ignore me when he is angry............ Anyway, how much I wanted to go back to that time, but I also knew that there was no going back between us, never again. ”

My heartache is like a knife, if life is only as first seen, what is the autumn wind and sad fan? But none of us can stop moving, no one can predict what will happen in the future, at first I want to take the first step, and after separation, I want to go back to the beginning, these are two different extremes, but the same is that we don't want to live in the moment, and I also know that Pei Tingqing is escaping reality.

I didn't say anything, and I didn't know what to say, at this moment an impulse welled up in my chest, I just wanted to hug Pei Tingqing and tell him that I had never given up loving him, the child in my belly was his, it was a boy, and I hadn't chosen a name yet, I wanted to ask him what this child should be called............ I was about to lose the umbrella in my hand, but out of the corner of my eye, I saw Ning Lianmeng's car driving over there.

My fingers tightened suddenly, and I glanced down at Pei Tingqing, "I'll go first, I won't come back to this place." The only place to remember is to give up, how cruel fate is to me, not only let me lose the man I love most in my life, but even everything about him must be confiscated.

There are bunches of roses in this space, like a carpet, I raised my legs and was about to leave here, but the next second my arm was suddenly grabbed by Pei Tingqing, and the whole person suddenly stumbled, the umbrella in my hand fell to the ground, and I saw Xiang Yuyao running over from that side in horror.

But then I was hugged by Pei Tingqing's arm, and his head was buried in my bulging belly, "Don't leave Shuyi, don't leave me............ I love you, I really love you, I really can't live without you. I'm so in pain, I want to die............"

I froze in place, opened my eyes a little wide, suddenly raised my hand to cover my mouth, tears rained down, "Big brother............", I called Pei Tingqing, but I couldn't make a sound at all.

Pei Tingqing's body was cold and stiff, making me feel like I was holding myself as if I was a walking corpse, but after a few seconds, I felt a damp heat on my waist, and more and more soaked my skirt.

I lowered my eyes to see Pei Tingqing's shoulders vibrating, and his low and suppressed cry came from my ears, he muttered to himself, and said indistinctly, "Shuyi, will you come with me?" I'll take you out of here, let's elope, Shuyi............ I don't want anything, I just want you. ”

I froze, why did he say that? Does he already know the truth?

When I was panicking, I saw that Ning Lianmeng's car stopped at some point, and the people who came out of it turned out to be Pei Zongyou and Huo Huiyuan, since Pei Zongyou is here, there must be a few people who are enough to deal with me and Pei Tingqing in secret.

My body tensed instantly, and I wanted to push Pei Tingqing away, but he hugged me tightly and didn't let go, "Follow me Shuyi, or I'll kill you ............", he pulled me closer to him, his head was always close to my bulging belly, he didn't look at me, but said ruthlessly and frantically: "I don't care about the child in your belly, if you are born, I will treat him like my own child." If you think Xiang Yuyao is more mature and stable than me, then I can also become like him, as long as you like it, let me do whatever I want. ”

No, big brother, you are just you, you are unique in this world, I like everything about you Pei Tingqing, a man, whether it is you who is a hooligan, you who are like a child, or you who are extremely ruthless and crazy for love and can abandon your life............ All kinds of things I like, but as a result, I told Pei Tingqing, "The man I love is Xiang Yuyao, and no one can replace him." ”

After saying this, I felt Pei Tingqing's arm around my waist gradually loosened, and then I calmly broke away from him, bent down to pick up the embroidered umbrella that fell among the flowers, propped it on the top of my head and turned around and walked forward without hesitation, Pei Tingqing's voice came from behind me, "I will hold a wedding with Ning Lianmeng in September, will you come to attend?" ”

Hearing this, my chest shook suddenly, as if it had been split in half, and I almost fell down, and it was not easy to stabilize my body, I put the umbrella pole on my shoulder, and turned my head slowly, only to see that Pei Tingqing had sat back down, leaving me only a back, and I didn't see his face from beginning to end.

After a long time I nodded, "I will definitely go." My due date is 11 and I can't move around in September, but I want to see the man I love the most get married, even if the bride is not me, it's another woman.

Pei Tingqing didn't say anything more, the slender plain white fingers fell on the keys again, under the cloudy sky, the rain was still dripping, in the white rose bush, there was a black piano and a handsome man, the world was vast, but there were only two colors left in my eyes, black and white, as if I was mourning and paying tribute to something, and even the sound of the piano sounded so sad, suffocating and desperate.

"What you left was touched, and what you left was sentimental

All packed together and sent to Forgotten

Neat room with half wide bed

The single toothbrush looks like it's thinking about it

What a sincere response

What corrodes the dreams you give me

Relying on a little bit of beauty to support the long confusion

Eventually, it will come to a fork in the road

Don't give me a cliff in heaven

Don't force me to jump off the bottomless sadness

No more fantasizing about your sea of flowers

There is a rose that can enjoy the only favor

Don't give me a cliff in heaven

Don't push me into the future where I'll regret it

I am most afraid of the romantic lights at night

You keep lighting a cigarette, and I see that there is no dialogue outside the window

Time is rushing, memories are swinging

The music is crying, the lyrics are healing

The head is sensible enough, but the heart does not grow

Recovery is difficult, emotions are complicated

What a drunken kiss, how happy to gaze

What robbed you of the sun you gave me

Hold up the deep despair with a faint prayer

Why escape from the sorrow of the shadows

The hardest hurt is not to let go and not to love ............"

The piano sound gradually turned slow and soft, I turned around again, the tears accumulated in my eyes suddenly burst the embankment, my body was weak and walked towards Xiang Yuyao step by step, and he was also walking towards me, just when there were still three steps away, I clearly saw Xiang Yuyao's figure shook suddenly, staring behind me with a face full of disbelief, and after reacting, he suddenly pounced, "Quickly avoid Shuyi!" ”

Before I realized what was happening, Xiang Yuyao had already rushed in front of me, and then my slender body was shrouded in his strong chest, and after a "bang" gunshot, Xiang Yuyao fell on my shoulder.

And I couldn't support his heavy body, so I quickly pulled out my hand to hug him, knelt on the ground with him, and looked forward reflexively, Pei Tingqing stood there at some point, still holding a gun in both hands.

It was he who fired the gun, and he really wanted to kill me.

I don't know why things turned out like this, I just chose to give up on him to protect me and his child in my belly, but the result was that he shot me and killed me, so what's the difference between this and Pei Zongyou killing us? Grief, shock, fear............ I don't know how to describe how I feel at the moment, I don't know what will happen next and what I can do to stop it.

I didn't react for a long time, my brain was blank, and I really lost even the most basic thinking ability under fear, the only thing I could do was to hold Xiang Yuyao, trembling with tears, my eyes were on Pei Tingqing's arm, and I watched in a daze as he slowly pointed the muzzle of the gun down, aiming at my head.

I closed my eyes gently, in the boundless darkness, the whole world was quiet, as if it was only for a few seconds, and it seemed like a century had passed, "bang" The second gunshot shook my eardrums, and I heard Huo Huiyuan's scream, "Tingqing!" ”

***

I woke up from my sleep suddenly, and found myself in the hospital, I realized that I had just had a dream, I dreamed that Pei Tingqing was going to kill me, but in the end he didn't do it, but pointed the gun at his own heart, and at the end of the dream, those white roses all flew up, withered in the air and turned into petal-by-petal flowers and sprinkled down, surrounding Pei Tingqing, who slipped off the ground on the piano, and the petals flew beautifully and colorfully.

I raised my hand and touched my face, it was full of tears, and I just moved to find that I was sitting on the chair at the head of the bed, just lying there asleep, and on the hospital bed was Xiang Yuyao, who was lying unconscious, with needles on the back of his hand, and some medical instruments were running.

So I finally came back to reality.

Pei Tingqing wanted to die with me, but Xiang Yuyao saved me, and Pei Tingqing finally committed suicide with a gun............ How do I deal with such a thing?

At this moment, my heart has been numb, it hurts so much that I am numb and unconscious, this is the most cruel thing that fate has given me, just ask a person's heart is gone, they are all hollowed out, so what is the point of her life?

That's what I am.

Later, Huo Huiyuan came once, and she told me that Pei Tingqing was not dead, and the reason why he wanted to kill me, and that he wanted to commit suicide was because in the months that he had been separated from me, coupled with the blow of Li Jiayao's death and the collapse of the organization, he had become decadent, pessimistic, anxious, irritable, insecure, and sometimes even full of fear and fear of everything around him............ And so on negative emotions, the doctor diagnosed depression, and he was also stained with drugs, many times in a state of delirium, that day when he saw my bulging belly, knowing that I was pregnant with Xiang Yuyao's child, he was stimulated and then completely collapsed, first to kill me, and finally to commit suicide.

I thought my heart was dead, and I wouldn't hurt anymore if I didn't feel it, and I thought I wouldn't cry anymore, let alone cry in front of Huo Huiyuan, but when she told me this, my chest cavity was cracked, and I pressed my hand on the position of my heart, and the tears fell down big with my head down.

No one thought that things would come to this point, but I know that I caused all this by myself, and I almost killed the man I loved the most, how should I pay for such a sin? Even if it costs my life, what I owe Pei Tingqing is not over.

Later, I was allowed to see Pei Tingqing, he was still in a coma and did not wake up, my arms gently hugged his shoulders, buried my face in his neck and cried bitterly, "Big brother, I'm sorry, I'm sorry............ I don't know if you're really going to die, it's not worth it, Shuyi isn't worth it for you to do this for her. Remember, you must forget me when you wake up, and I will never bother you again in this life. I love you Pei Tingqing, please be sure to ............ well"

After walking out of Pei Tingqing's ward, I stood on the top floor, I really wanted to jump down and die like this, but I was still pregnant with Pei Tingqing's son in my belly, when I looked down at the street below, I suddenly felt my stomach being kicked, and I was stunned for a while, and after a while, I slowly retreated, squatted down and put my hand on my stomach, and broke down and cried again.

Later, Huo Huiyuan told me that Pei Ting was at least sane after he woke up, and he didn't keep reading me like he did in the previous months, don't let me leave, probably after people walked through the ghost gate once, they suddenly realized that many things were open, and they cherished their lives even more, Pei Tingqing is like this.

Pei Tingqing went abroad for recuperation, and Ning Lianmeng's wedding was postponed to October 1, if Pei Tingqing was not fully treated, the wedding continued to be postponed, and in the past few months, Xiang Yuyao arranged me in a secret residence, during this time I named Pei Tingqing's son——— Pei Yanqiao, taking the word "Yan" is to hope that he will be lively and talkative, not as silent as me and Pei Tingqing, and "Qiao" is the meaning of the mountain, which is the definition standard for men in my mind.

This day is September 30th, I received a wedding invitation from the Pei family, and it is usually sent to others a month in advance, so I only received it at this time, and it is estimated that the person who sent it to me is either Pei Tingqing, or Ning Lianmeng, after all, the Pei family does not want me to appear again.

I opened the beautiful wedding invitation, and saw the names of Pei Tingqing and Ning Lianmeng lined up together, I covered my mouth and kept crying, the most beautiful promise in the world is "with my surname, with your name", but Pei Tingqing and I are the same surname, so from the beginning we are destined not to be husband and wife in this life?

I put away the wedding invitation properly, but I wasn't ready to go, "Big brother, forgive me for not doing what I promised you, I don't want to disturb your life anymore, and I will definitely disappear from your world from now on." ”

One of the four people outside came over and told me that a woman named Li Xue had come to visit me, and I let Li Xue in, and in case she did anything to me, I left the four behind me.

In fact, Li Xue only sent supplements over, and said some words coldly and left, I guess she came to find Xiang Yuyao, but Xiang Yuyao just went out.

I asked my subordinates to send Li Xue away, and I got up to put away the things Li Xue sent, but as soon as I touched it, I saw a snake as thick as a baby's arm slowly crawling out of it.

I was most afraid of snakes in my life, and I suddenly let out a scream, threw away the tonic box at once, and the whole person retreated back in a panic, and finally fell on the sofa behind me with a "bang".