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"Even if I'm wrong, why can't you give me a chance? Even if it's not for the sake of me who saved you, for the sake of Lele, you should give me another chance, Zhang Ailing, do you know how disappointed I am, do you know? ”

"If you make a mistake, you have to pay the consequences. Fang Yuan, you have made mistakes again and again, and you still don't repent. Don't you even know what you're doing wrong right now? ”

"Well, I confess, I admit that I did wrong, and indeed I am unrepentant. I lost a lot of money, I met some women outside, and finally buried all the happiness of the family, if you want to punish me, then punish me, why punish Lele? How are you going to tell him where his father is? ”

"Rest assured, I know how to deal with this. Without my father, they still have my mother, and my mother loves and cares, so Lele will definitely be happy in the future, and our life will be carefree in the future. It's you, and it looks like you're going to have to plan for you. ”

"Don't worry, I'll live well, and I'll be fine in the future, don't worry about you."

"Since I don't have to worry about it, that's good, I hope that after we are separated, you can live well, learn to live, and stop doing stupid things. Of course, if you meet a good girl, you can also choose to start over and start a new family, and I hope you can treat your other half well in the future. ”

"I'm not as generous as you, Zhang Ailing, I don't want to see you with other men, and I don't want to see my son have a new father, so once I succeed, I will fight with you for custody of the child."

"I hope I can wait until that day, Fang Yuan, if you can really have the ability to fight with me for custody of the child, I will definitely consider your request."

"Okay, let's see if I can really do it."

"Bless you and hope your dreams come true."

It wasn't at all what I expected, not even a handshake between me and Eileen Chang, let alone the hug and kiss I imagined.

I left Chen Yazhi, sat on the bus for a few hours, and hurried back to Shencheng, just met with Zhang Ailing and hugged Lele, in just over 20 minutes, Zhang Ailing was going to take Lele in.

Women are really ruthless sometimes, at least at this time, I feel that Zhang Ailing's heart is very hard, and she has no old feelings for me at all.

I don't know if Zhang Ailing really changed her mind, or if I really broke Zhang Ailing completely, but at this time I only know one thing: the marriage of the past will definitely not go back!

Anyway, I finally saw Zhang Ailing and Lele, and it was worth it for me to rush back this time.

Think of it as a kind of goodbye, a kind of respectful parting that you cherish each other.

That night, when I returned to my rented house in Shencheng, I called Chen Yazhi, but she didn't answer my call.

So I messaged her and asked her what her plans were.

After all, Chen Yazhi said that she would only go home for a few days temporarily, and it was estimated that she would go out soon, so I wanted to know where she was going to go, and if she wanted, I also planned to go with her.

I was a little tired after a long day of traveling, so I just lay down in bed and fell asleep.

At noon the next day, when I woke up, I saw several text messages on my phone, all of which were sent by Chen Yazhi.

The text message is very long, so it is divided into several pieces.

"I thought about it for a long time, and finally decided to leave. Maybe it was the moment you rushed on the bus that moved me a little, maybe I really liked you in my heart, but after I thought about it carefully, I still have to make a difficult decision, I'm sorry, we don't fit. ”

"If it weren't for a phone call from your ex-wife that woke me up, maybe I would have continued to indulge in this kind of love fairy tale with almost no future, and I should thank your ex-wife for that phone call that made me realize that you already have a wife and children. I'm a perfectionist, so I still can't accept that my future husband used to have the woman he loved the most. ”

"When I think of the many promises you have made to her, and the thought of you having a happy and sweet family with her, I can't accept it, and I can't even bear this pain. Fang Yuan, you should hide it from me, at least you shouldn't tell me all the things you did before, it's a pity that your honesty hurt me, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry! ”

"Don't look for me again, it's just a dream, a game, or a memory of a meeting in the water. We used to be very close, but in the end we were far apart, here I also want to wish you to realize your dreams as soon as possible, if one day you can really reunite with your wife and children again, that is the result you want the most, right? ”

"I'll leave Qingyuan tomorrow, it doesn't matter where I go, what matters is what I want to say to you, I hope you can understand and understand my decisions and choices, don't blame me. There was a moment when I thought I was in love with you, but it was just a momentary touch. ”

I read this information over and over again, and I felt very uncomfortable.

It turns out that my past is an inescapable knot in Chen Yazhi's heart, so the reality is cruel and suffocating.

When I hurried to the station and saw Chen Yazhi on the bus, I thought I had grabbed the tail of love; When I received Chen Yazhi's invitation to her hometown, I thought I saw the hope of love; When I kissed Chen Yazhi on the night of her birthday, I thought I had got a new love.

It turned out that all this was my own passion, and it only took a phone call from Zhang Ailing to restore everything to when I first left the deep city.

Maybe I shouldn't have looked for a new relationship at all, because I didn't deserve it.

I didn't call Chen Yazhi again, I didn't even reply to the text messages, I just started to reflect on myself, especially when I thought about what Eileen Chang said to me.

Some people reflect on the painful experience, some people reflect on the pain, some people reflect on self-pity, but my reflection is obsessive.

I felt strongly stimulated, so I went to Macau, and I don't know why, when I went to Macau this time, I already had a very ominous premonition in my heart, but I still went obsessively.

In six days, I lost all the money I had brought with me, and there were only more than 30 yuan left in my body.

By the time I walked out of the Grand Lisboa, I was so tired that I wanted to collapse on the ground.

How persistent I was, six days of sleepless gambling, except for the buffet and the bathroom, which were spent at the gaming table.

I guess I came to Macau this time just to prove one thing, that is, what Eileen Chang said is not wrong at all, I am an unrepentant bastard, a rotten person with no hope and no future.

I walked from the Grand Lisboa Casino to the gate of Gongbei Port, then lay down on a bench and quickly fell asleep.

I don't know when, but I woke up to see a lot of people, pedestrians coming and going, some people just coming in, with the expectation of winning, and many more people preparing to leave, with obvious disappointment on their faces.

Life is a gamble, some people can afford to lose, some people can't afford to lose.

I don't know if I can afford to lose, but now I'm losing to nothing, and it's not the first time I've been in this situation.