"Pooh, what's the matter with me?"

While picking up my mobile phone to talk to Xiong Yaoyue, I stared at the chat window of Taobao Wangwang, and replied to the female customer who consulted about the power consumption of the massage stick:

"I recommend that you use rechargeable batteries, Pinsheng's is good, don't hide it from my sister, I often use this kind of battery......"

Yes, you guessed it right, I used the customer service number of "Lilac" to answer questions disguised as a woman, even if it is fake, it can't make the other party think that the customer service is a big man, otherwise the female customer should be so embarrassed!

However, for the sake of my physical and mental health, I decided to gradually hand over all the consulting services of female customers to Shu Zhe, even if I gave him a salary increase!

Ah, speaking of which, how are you going to explain it to your dad when the time comes? It's not even a part-time employee for the online store that I hired a part-time employee, but I'm still a pseudo-girl! Daddy should doubt my sexuality!

"Ye Lin, why are you absent-minded?" Xiong Yaoyue on the other side of the phone said slightly, "Are you jerking off?" ”

“……”

"If you're jerking off, I'll wait 5 minutes and call - 5 minutes should be enough, right?"

You're only 5 minutes! 5 minutes for your whole family! A Spartan with a physical bunker like me would take half an hour!

At this time, the female customer asked again: "Can I stuff a model like this into a chrysanthemum?" I love my wife so much that I don't want to hurt her......"

The groove turned out to be lace edge! Since you love your wife very much, don't stuff this thing into her chrysanthemum! This is a European and American model! You want to hurt your wife's prolapse!

I hurriedly typed: "Don't use this to make chrysanthemums, or your wife will break up with you!" ”

At the same time, he couldn't help but say to himself: "Anyway, my chrysanthemum can't stand it......"

Unexpectedly, this whisper was heard by Xiong Yaoyue.

"Chrysanthemum?" Xiong Yaoyue immediately became interested, "It's disrespectful!" I forgot that you are gay, and you must not disdain to, but are doing prostate massage! Could it be...... Using cucumbers? ”

You're using cucumbers! All of you have cucumbers for your family! I'm stopping a weak girl who is lost on the lily road, and she won't be planted with a chrysanthemum by her hardcore husband!

"Well, Pooh, what the hell are you looking for me?"

"It's nothing too important, I just want to come with you tomorrow and go to Miss Amy to make amends!"

"Reparation? Because you went to play a ranked match against a gaming team last week and missed your appointment? That's your own fault, why do you want me to make amends with you? ”

"Just help me! Aren't you my buddy! ”

Fortunately, Xiong Yaoyue didn't use the word "good sister", otherwise I might have hung up her immediately.

"Well, there's nothing wrong with going with you, I'm almost supposed to go." I said, "But Amy is actually very busy, are you sure she has time tomorrow?" ”

"Sure! Are you sure! I just called! Xiong Yaoyue said excitedly, "It's much better to have you with you!" The first time I went to a big house, I was a little nervous! ”

It seems that Xiong Yaoyue still thinks that Amy is a simple daughter, and she doesn't know her identity in the entertainment industry.

"By the way, what should I wear when I visit tomorrow? Isn't it rude to wear shorts? Do you want to wear a long dress that looks like a dress? When I was in elementary school, I seemed to have a set of ......"

Elementary school skirts, do you think you can still wear them now! You think you're a hobbit! And you bruised your face again in a volleyball practice on Friday to save the ball, and you put three band-aids on it at once! Make up three more and you'll be a bearded little cat! Even if you're wearing the most ladylike outfit, the band-aid on your face will reveal your true form!

It suddenly occurred to me that you wouldn't have been so composed, even on your wedding day, wearing a wedding dress and having a band-aid on your face! In that case, relatives and friends must have misunderstood the groom's use of domestic violence! It's like this without passing through the door! It's a public enemy of women, drag it out and chop it up and feed it to the dogs!

"Tomorrow it's 34 degrees," I reminded her, "what you usually wear, tomorrow." Feel free, you know, Amy is mine...... For the children of relatives, I will treat her as my own home, and you will treat it as a guest at my house. ”

"Huh? That's a good idea......" Xiong Yaoyue suddenly said brightly, "Then if I don't have breakfast tomorrow, can I get something delicious?" ”

You said you were nervous! Nervous fart! Please let go of the restraints, travel light, and go to Amy's to eat as much as you want! As long as you don't criticize the French chef's craftsmanship, he will kill himself!

Thinking of the chef who inherited the suicide tradition of his predecessors in France and obtained the inheritance of the sword from the Japanese puffer fish master, I gave Xiong Yaoyue a vaccination and said:

"It's casual to eat......"

"Huh? Don't you have a drink for us? Xiong Yaoyue's tone looked disappointed.

"No, drink casually, just a little, don't say bad things about the French chef, it's better to flatter him, otherwise there will be a big incident!"

"A French chef? Did Miss Amy's family hire a Frenchman as a chef? I've heard that French food is very delicious! is worthy of being a daughter, she is so rich! ”

"Hey, did you hear me, you must flatter the French chef to cook deliciously!"

"Don't worry! As long as someone else asks me to eat something for nothing, as long as it is not unpalatable like, I will definitely praise it and say that it is delicious! Otherwise, they won't invite me next time! ”

All right! When you say this, it's as if you've eaten yourself and know what tastes like.

"By the way, I heard that Miss Amy lives in Qingzi School Park, why do you live in such a strange place? The security guard at the gate won't let me in! Why don't I go find you, and then you can find a way to take me in! ”

Really, Amy obviously invited Xiong Yaoyue to be a guest at her place, but she didn't think of how to let the other party in, almost exactly the same as the first time I went to give her a practice checkerboard.

"No problem, you come to me in the morning, and I'll find a way to get you there—but do you know my address?"

"Hehe, I didn't know, when I wanted to ask you, your mobile phone was busy, but I called the squad leader and asked!"

"What? Why did you call the squad leader! ”

"Weishenme can't do it? The class leader has read the student register and knows the addresses of almost all the students! How are you so suspicious like a squad leader? ”

"The squad leader is suspicious?"

"Yes! I asked her if she knew the address of your house, and she didn't plan to tell me at first, and asked me very carefully, 'Didn't you say that whoever breaks up Ye Lin and his true love, you will break up with whom?' ’”

“……”

"The squad leader really holds a grudge! If it weren't for the fact that I was angry enough to keep it a secret for you, I almost couldn't help but confess directly to the class president and tell her that you are gay, and you are a couple with our school's school grass Shen Shaoyi! ”

Don't say that! I finally brushed back a little bit of the squad leader's favorability! If the class leader believes you and finds out that her brother is wearing the women's panties I sent over, you should suspect that my real target is her brother, and I, a faggot, may have pushed his brother down many times! And then...... Then do you need to ask? Of course, he pulled the trigger on me with remorse!

Wronged! It's snowing in June! Before I swallow my breath, I have to spray the blood in my mouth three feet high! I want to spew blood, squirt Xiong Yaoyue, your face! You pig teammate! It reminds me of the story of the hunter who made friends with the bear, and then the bear tried to help the hunter get rid of the flies on his face, and ended up killing the hunter!

"Hmph, because the squad leader is careful, I will fight back against her and ask: What does it have to do with you that I went to find Ye Lin! I'm not in a relationship with him! You are so sensitive, do you like Ye Lin? ”

"Hey, how did the squad leader answer?" I'm quite curious.

“hahahaha…… Of course it's a denial! How could a person who is so strict with himself as a class leader violate the school rules? Besides, it's tragic if she really likes you! You're not interested in girls! ”

Who isn't interested in girls! Don't just deprive me of a very important hobby, okay? Even in the days when the heart of Sparta was at its firmest, I would secretly look through H comics to entertain myself!

"Anyway, the squad leader Zuihou still told me the address, but after telling me, he didn't want to take the initiative to hang up the phone, as if he was waiting for me to confess the crime...... I don't know what's going on, but I feel a little sorry for the class leader, so I confessed that I was going to join you and go to your rich mixed-race cousin's house as a guest......"

"The squad leader thought of your cousin who looked like a doll, and seemed to be moved, I asked her if she wanted to come along, she sighed, said that she was not welcome, and wished us a good time, and then hung up the phone."

Does it refer to not being popular with Amy? The reason why the squad leader likes Amy is no different from her liking kittens and puppies, and the reason why Amy is afraid of the squad leader is not much different from the reason why kittens and puppies are afraid of the squad leader, you are a very awkward relationship!

In addition, the squad leader actually petted Amy's pet dog Obama inhumanely with my assistance long before she met Amy, and she might be a little surprised when she learns that this dog belongs to Amy, right? Will they stretch out their hands, pounce on their cheeks crimson, and scream "let me touch it" stupidly, and then Amy and Obama will be chased by the squad leader and run around!

Forget it this time, if you have a chance in the future, you must let Amy and the squad leader have a good relationship with each other! After all, it's the future sister-in-law!

I made an appointment with Xiong Yaoyue to meet tomorrow morning, and hung up the phone.

Then I thought about it, and instead of disturbing Amy's rest, I dialed Penthos' cell phone. In addition to his walkie-talkie, he also carries a military-spec mobile phone with him, but his main use lately has been to install an app called Jack'd (I pronounce it "Pick-up Emperor") and try to hook up with faggets in the same city.

Nima, this is the male version of WeChat and Momo! I kind of remember that blood-red icon! Does this represent the aftermath of the chrysanthemum? In the future, if I see someone on their phone, I will hold my chrysanthemum!

"Penthos," I said straight to the point, "will you come to my house tomorrow morning?" ”

"Okay!" Peng Tousi looked overjoyed, "Lin, did you hear that my date didn't go well and wanted to comfort me?" ”

"Comfort you, bird's egg! I'm asking you to pick me up and Pooh! Amy invited us to come over as a guest.,Pooh doesn't have the school uniform of Qingzi School Park.,I'm afraid I can't get into the school! ”

Although Penthos is like an iron tower, he is as careful as a hair, and he actually remembers that Pooh is Amy's nickname for Xiong Yaoyue.

"No problem, I'll drive to pick you up, 7 o'clock, right? Please don't have breakfast beforehand, we will take care of the preparation of haode. ”

There's no need to worry about this, Xiong Yaoyue didn't plan to have breakfast in the first place.

"In addition,For the convenience of the future,I'll also bring Miss Pooh a set of school uniforms for Qingzi School Park by the way.。 I've met her once, and I should still remember the approximate size......"

Do you never forget it once you see it! I probably even guessed the size of Xiong Yaoyue's underwear! You are the true eye of the evil king! Are you still going to kill the black dragon wave! You're such an NB person, weishenme, you're a sufferer! Those "attackers" who found you through the "Pick-up Emperor", as soon as they saw your domineering spirit, they were immediately frightened, and they were no longer in the mood to be shocked!

I suddenly remembered,The last time I wore the Qingzi School uniform and fought with the master of Xu Shaoguan,It's very, very hot.,I'm afraid it's not just a matter of a lot of exercise.。

"Peng Thos,I said the school uniform of Qingzi School Park,Is it the same as our twenty-eighth middle school,Divided into summer and autumn?"

"Not really." "There is only one school uniform in Qingzi Academy, but it has a detachable lining, and in a particularly cold winter, there is also a lamb's wool lining that can be changed......"

Original...... I see! I said how do I think the school uniform of Qingzi School Park has something more.,It turns out that I've been hanging an ordinary lining that can only be used in spring and autumn.,Didn't you remove it! I'm SB! Last time, I even had to cover up the prickly heat!

After I discussed it with Peng Tousi, I decisively found the Qingzi School uniform in the closet, and removed the lining fixed with an invisible zipper.

Nima is the whole body of it! Such a haode material, blowing under the air conditioner, the ventilation effect is excellent! The first few times I went to see Amy in my school uniform, I endured the scorching heat, thinking that this was the price I had to pay to see my sister, and it turned out that it was not necessary at all! I was so stupid that I had the opportunity to cool off, but I was completely stupid!

On Sunday morning, I didn't have to go to Dongshan Lake to practice boxing, so I got up and did 100 push-ups, then washed up, sat in the living room and closed my eyes, while meditating on the true meaning of yin and yang, while waiting for Xiong Yaoyue's arrival.

After a while, the sound of running upstairs sounded outside the door, and it is estimated that the sneakers on the soles of the feet have a good cushioning effect, so they will not be particularly noisy to the neighbors.

I don't need to ask, I know that it is the energetic Xiong Yaoyue who has arrived.