The holiday trip was quite short, at that time An Nianchu and Qi Yanmo were already sitting on the plane, she was lying down, closed her eyes, and recalled the reluctance in An's father's eyes, blood is really a very wonderful thing, I didn't want to do it at the beginning, but I couldn't survive the time, and I couldn't survive his kindness to you.

On the plane, she began to communicate with Qi Yanmo in French, and her lame spoken language was even more lame compared with Qi Yanmo's fluency.

"You hit me hard, why did I come back with more broken French, but you are more fluent!"

Qi Yanmo smiled but said nothing.

An Nianchu was heartbroken.

"Talk to the French."

An Nianchu glanced at Qi Yanmo very helplessly, "I have!" But they were so fast that I didn't understand it at all. ”

"We'll talk in French in the future."

Don't!! An Nianchu wants to cry without tears, she really doesn't have much love for French, and she doesn't know how much English she speaks when talking to the English girl in the same bedroom, but French ...... Teachers must concentrate on 12 points of attention in class, and they can't understand the meaning of a word without listening to it.

Her life has changed a lot from before, she doesn't always stay in the dormitory when she is not in class, and occasionally accompanies Qi Yanmo to class and walks around the campus hand in hand.

But the seed of love doesn't seem to have germinated between them.

Knowing each other but not loving each other, An Nianchu no longer stingy with her smile, but she never found the original heart, she never accepted Qi Yanmo's love, she couldn't be like a lover, she couldn't be intimate, she couldn't like him.

I was holding hands, but I always felt that my heart was far away.

If you have been hurt before, you will be extremely careful and no longer dare to start the next paragraph easily. But for Qi Yanmo, she is very relieved, but she has never been able to become love.

She wanted to let go of his hand, but Qi Yanmo never let go.

An Nianchu bit his lip and said to him: "It's another half a year, and I don't know what my heart is made of, even if it's a stone, I can be moved by you, but Yanmo, I ......"

He smiled lightly, his fingers brushing her cheek, "It's okay." ”

An Nianchu closed his eyes, "You know what? The more you treat me, the more guilty I feel in my heart, Yanmo, I may really not be able to just accept your good, accept your unconditional contribution to me, I can't do such a wholehearted dedication to you, I don't like this unequal relationship. I once wanted to accept your kindness like this and live a lifetime, but I felt that I was really selfish, and I was so selfish that I was in this situation. I don't want to be selfish anymore, I don't deserve you to be so nice to me, I don't deserve to stand by your side. You go back to China, there is a year left, I want to be here alone, I am not a child, I will take care of myself. ”

He still smiled gently, but there was endless loss in his eyes, and An Nianchu didn't even dare to look him in the eye.

He said, "I will be with you." ”

An Nianchu raised her head and looked into his eyes, his determined gaze, and she bowed her head. Silently spit out, "It's me who is bad, I shouldn't have given you hope in the first place, if I had been cold, you wouldn't have paid more, but you paid more and didn't get anything." ”

Qi Yanmo's fingers touched the corners of her mouth, "No, I got your smile." ”

The corners of her mouth twitched, and she tried to speak, but swallowed.

Her smile? She never skimped on her smile before, but after that incident, she didn't like to laugh anymore, she felt tired of laughing, but Qi Yanmo did make her happier than before, but she regained her smile, but she couldn't get back to her original mentality, she couldn't face such a selfish self.

Time is a good conciliator, but it can't reconcile the distance between them, An Nianchu deliberately pulled away, she didn't want Qi Yanmo to waste more time on her, she was very guilty of the impulse to take his hand and go to talk to An's father about the engagement, but after calming down, she really regretted it, she regretted making that decision, regretted holding the engagement ceremony, and even more regretted that it was because of Qin Muchen's appearance, which shook her heart.

No matter how much she didn't want to remember this name, the three words 'Qin Muchen' had left a deep imprint on her mind, and she couldn't erase it herself.

She still went to class and ate as usual, the only difference was that she was not with Qi Yanmo, and she didn't want to give him false hope.

"Nian Chu, can't we really be the same as before?"

An Nianchu looked at Qi Yanmo's injured gaze, she gritted her teeth, he stood in front of her, never left, she slowly spit out: "Yanmo, if we continue to be like before, I accept your kindness, you are by my side all the time, is that kind of life what you want?" The hand is always held by someone who has not put their heart on you, and you would like to do it too? ”

He said, "I do."

An Nianchu said very resolutely: "I don't want to, I don't want you to delay more time on me, I am very touched by everything you have done for me, but I really understand my own heart now, I can't be moved by you, I can't give you the same love." During that time, I really wanted to work hard, and I convinced myself every day that I should observe your hobbies carefully and pay attention to your habits, Ke Yanmo, do you know? I don't know a habit of yours until now. ”

She continued: "I can't forget him, I know you know who he is. As you said, I studied psychiatry because your ex-girlfriend committed suicide by jumping off a building because of her insaneness, and I'm glad I wasn't insane, but I also got a lot of marks from him. I am very grateful that you have been with me like that, and I am very touched that you have always been so good to me, I have worked hard, but I have never been able to like you. ”

An Nianchu bowed deeply, "But it's not love, Yanmo, don't waste time on me, okay?" ”

Qi Yanmo helped her up with both hands and smiled at her, "I know that moving is not love, but I still want to try to make you like me, I still say the same thing, you don't need to take the initiative, let me take the initiative." ”

"You're really nice to me, so good that I feel guilty, so good that everyone who knows me knows that you exist, so good that they all feel that we should be together, so good that they think I'll be happy with you. But happiness is like the shoes on the soles of your feet, whether they are comfortable or not, whether they fit or not, only you know. Together, simple and plain, you can surprise me from time to time and make me happy, but we haven't been a step closer before. If my heart is still rejecting love, then whoever takes the initiative, the result will still be the same, so I don't want you to waste your time, you deserve someone better. ”

After Qi Yanmo was for a long time, he spit out: "I'll wait." ”

An Nianchu didn't know what to do, this was really not waiting or not, she was very dead-eyed, if she couldn't accept it, it was likely to be a lifetime. Do you want him to wait for a lifetime? If they end up together, it's a happy finale, but isn't it? What she owes is his efforts.

"Qi Yanmo, don't you understand my words? I've said it so many times, you are gentle and you can bring me warmth, but I can't like you, there's really no way, for your intimacy, it's like a sister relying on my brother. She gritted her teeth and said, "You can't make my heart move, I think I deserve someone better." A lot of people like you at school, many, many more than me. ”

"But they're not you."

Obviously she doesn't like Qi Yanmo, but now she is still very heartbroken, she touched her heart, "I'm a wolf, I'm not a good girl, I shouldn't have said that I want to get engaged, but I really don't want to hurt you, you know?" I think about him, and even now I have an image of him in my head, and I don't know why that's happening, I don't know why he's in my head more often than before after we got engaged. A lot of the time I've been with you, I've been distracted, and now I'm ...... How do you let me continue to be like before? You are holding your hand, but you are thinking of him? I can't. I'd rather be alone and forget about his existence in the busyness. ”

Qi Yanmo stared at her for a long time, An Nianchu didn't dare to meet his gaze, and lowered his head, like a child who had done something wrong.

"I will accompany you, Nian Chu, don't put too much pressure on yourself, I am good to you, I am voluntary."

An Nianchu met his gaze, "You are good to me, but I can't be good to you, such an unequal relationship is not what I want." I don't want to just gain but never give, this is not the love I yearn for. ”

He smiled softly and looked at him softly, "You're different from other girls. ”

"Because everyone's standards are different."

"But I'll still be with you, good to you. It's okay if you can only treat me as an older brother, I'm willing to make you rely on like a brother. ”

An Nianchu stretched out his hands, wrapped his arms around his waist, and leaned over his chest, "Yanmo, thank you, thank you very much." But I can't be so selfish, we'll be friends in the future. Good bye. ”

There is an exchange student quota in the school, she submitted her volunteer, returned to China smoothly, and told familiar people, but only concealed Qi Yanmo.

Back in City A, the city she was once very familiar with, walking on campus, standing in the shade of trees, holding textbooks, after half a year, her mentality has really changed a lot.

Take a deep breath and smile.

As long as you don't meet Qin Muchen, in fact, everything is beautiful.

She went through the enrollment procedures, moved into the dormitory, and became a low-key good student. In the new semester, the teacher asked her to serve as a counselor to tutor the freshman year. An Nianchu was a little flattered and readily agreed.

Later, I found out that the counselor is really a hard and tiring job, the first day of the new semester is to receive new students, working hard in the scorching summer, and when she is about to get off work, a man wearing a simple black sunglasses and a peaked cap appears in front of her.