Yes, I'm not young, 27 years old. I have been in love twice, both of which ended in long-distance relationships, and I am currently an older single leftover girl. Some people say that women start to decay after the age of 25, but it seems that my heyday has just begun, and I am approaching the peak - I was always fat when I was a student, I didn't know how to dress up, and I never felt like I was in touch with beautiful women; Since breaking up with my second boyfriend, I lost weight to 90 pounds for various reasons, and I began to turn back when I walked on the street. I've also learned to be kind to myself, to decorate myself with good clothes, shoes and hats, to go to good places to eat or travel, and not to make myself look cheap or casual. As time went by, I became a lot more realistic, self-reliant, able to make money and take care of my life well. So my attitude towards men is no longer so simple.

Maybe I've seen through men too.

I never thought about getting a new boyfriend in the workplace, there are a lot of good men in our company, but most of them are married and young people. My boss was a trapeze artist, and I hadn't seen anyone for the next month except on the day of the interview. Seriously, the first time I opened the office door that day and saw him, I had the feeling of being electrocuted, similar to love at first sight. He was slender and thin, with bright eyes and narrow cheeks, and he was well-dressed but his hair was a little messy, and he could not hide the exhaustion of his day and night travel. Perhaps it was his messy but still stylish slab that won my sympathy and affection, I looked at him and smiled, and suddenly a flowing wave flashed in his eyes, like a pebble across the calm lake in the early morning. It was a strange thing, and I suddenly felt that for a moment I had a heart-to-heart connection with him, and I knew that he had taken a fancy to me.

Older leftover girls will no longer be as excited as adolescent girls, but I still feel complacent, happy to make a good impression on the leader, and do things well in the future - in the workplace, being beautiful does have a little advantage.

For most of the year, no story happened. The nature of our work is very busy, and we often work overtime and travel, so I am naturally cautious and careful when I am new to a company. He sometimes asks me online if I am comfortable during this time in the company, and I politely answer that it is quite good. Sometimes it's just a joke, such as asking him to invite him to dinner or something when he gives out a quarterly award, and it's just talking.

A woman's mind is meticulous. The first time I felt a little different was during my first performance interview. He had just returned from a dusty trip that afternoon, and his suitcase was left in the corner of the office, and he was really a workaholic. I was new to the department, and I was the first to be interviewed, and he gave me a B at the end. I understood and agreed, and at the end of the chat, he suddenly asked me, "You're 27 years old, and you don't plan to start a family?" Play so wild. Such a statement would be rude for any girl, and his status and emotional intelligence would not allow him to say such things to any other girl. But when it came out of his mouth to me, it seemed to have a hint of encouragement. I smiled calmly: "You know I'm 27? It seems that the leader cares about me. He smiled badly and said, "I care about everything about you." "It makes people blush when he laughs like that, and I think I can't sit still anymore, so I get up and take my leave.

I'll call him L.

This thing is really strange about personal aesthetics, and I think L is very handsome, and it's the type I've always liked. But it seems that my girlfriends think he seems to be pretending to be a stinky fart, and a bit obscene - of course, the evaluation of his body shape and facial features is passable, and it is a matter of temperament. Maybe I like his bad feeling like this, like a bad boy who dragged him to death in high school but was not bad-hearted, I like to listen to him speak at any time without a slow and lazy and disdainful tone, including when he arranges work very seriously, people feel that this person is not difficult to contact while respecting his professional management vision. Every time he passed the aisle behind me, I didn't have to look back to know it was him.

The first time L invited me to dinner was because I had done a private job for him. We talked a lot at the meal, and I learned that L is 35 years old, and the housewife's wife is the same age as him, but it is said that she is very young, and they have a three-year-old daughter. Their home is in one of the city's busiest districts, and he and his wife each have a car. I didn't inquire, but he told me everything. The place to eat was a suburban farm of his choice, which I had never been to before, and the environment was secluded, but the diners flocked to it. He is a person with a great taste for life, and I have long found out that the cufflinks on his shirt are a very expensive brand, but he never wears the belt of Big H around his waist like other management, and he is a very low-key person. On the day of dinner, I wore a relatively short hip-wrapping skirt, so I sat in the back of his car, and when I came back from dinner, he asked me to sit in the passenger seat, and then sent me to the subway entrance - no matter how many dates I made, he never sent me home even if he stopped by, and always dropped me off at a nearby location with more convenient transportation, I think this was a strange bottom line for him, a little inexplicable.

At this time, I didn't think anything would happen between us, the boss cared about the subordinates normally, and I was happy because I was appreciated by the leader.

Perhaps boiling frogs in warm water is a surefire way for many workplace romances to heat up. After half a year after I joined the company, the workload became very huge, often overtime, because I did not have a family, compared to other colleagues will be more worry-free overtime, for a while often get until eleven or twelve o'clock, fortunately, I live not far from the company, 20 minutes walk. L, who has already started a family, is no less than me as an overtime maniac, and sometimes he hasn't left when I'm gone. He was always worried that it would be unsafe for me to walk alone at night, so he specially instructed the security guard of the company's office building to escort me home, but I didn't want to cause trouble to others, so I always secretly refused.

One night I was catching up with PP again, and I was concentrating on the computer, and a bucket of small instant noodles fell in front of my eyes, which was still my favorite food. I looked up at L and smiled, "How do you know I haven't had enough for dinner." L said, "I wanted to eat it myself, but then I found out that I bought your favorite flavor." "I once posted on WeChat that I love to eat this instant noodle, I lowered my head and smiled silently, and it didn't break." I've got chocolate chip cookies here. "In return, I opened the drawer. L leaned over to get it, and his arm rested lightly on my shoulder—sometimes he would stand behind me and other female colleagues for guidance while working, but he was careful and never had close physical contact. But I didn't want to be too sensitive, so I didn't move.

But in fact, at that moment, my heart was pounding. I felt like I was so useless, so old, and like a nymphomaniac like a kid - but when I thought about his married status, I convinced myself that I was thinking too much.

In the early stage, although I was a deer in my heart, because the other party had a family, I never showed anything on the outside. I think I'm still a very serious and reserved woman, and I'm more calm, but some people have a tacit understanding that seems to come naturally, and I feel like I can't deceive myself and L a lot of the time. He could also see that I was restrained, so he was always polite, and occasionally hinted, I played stupid, and this long temptation finally turned into torment.

The day has come to break the silence.

In fact, it was an accident, because of my outstanding work performance, the manager of another department (I call him S) asked me to share my experience. This manager is the boss's celebrity, 32 years old, a rare single unmarried diamond king in the company (but girlfriends are estimated to be countless). I've always been indifferent to him, and I'm covered in famous brands, and I think he's a swaggering carrot. In fact, the cross-departmental experience sharing is also an excellent employee introduction and benchmarking activities, just a form of walking, I thought L would be happy because of my excellent performance, but since the preparation of the sharing meeting, he has a black head and black face, and he doesn't speak when he sees me. My second monk was confused, always wondering if I hadn't noticed what annoyed him and annoyed him.

After the sharing meeting, I greeted Manager S for a while, and he invited me to have dinner with their department, but I declined - because I knew that it was a polite courtesy, I must decline, otherwise it would be a matter of the dove occupying the magpie's nest. When I returned to the office and found that L was still working overtime, I packed my things and was about to leave, when L said to me online, "It seems that you have a good relationship with him." My heart sank, at this time it was only me and him in the office, and he was sitting behind me, if it was an ordinary ridicule, he would definitely say it directly to his face. I thought about it for a moment and continued to play dumb on MSN: "You say Manager S? After waiting for a long time, L stopped talking, I glanced back at him, and his face turned blue from the monitor, as if he was busy, and he couldn't see any expression. I just said goodbye to him on MSN as if I had done something wrong, and walked away.

After that, he went on a business trip for two weeks and didn't say a word to me. I was a little distracted - he had barely been in touch with me on a business trip before, but somehow I sensed he was me off. I began to look forward to his return, and although I didn't know what to do, I felt that the relationship should be eased.

After L came back, I continued to work as usual, but I became more cautious, and every time I reported to him, I no longer had the confidence I used to have, and I felt as if I had really done something wrong. I watched his reaction carefully, but I couldn't tell that he was angry.

After a few days, I suddenly felt ridiculous, what did I do, why was he angry? So I simply ignored him. The relationship between men and women is so delicate, and although they still report and work the same, he almost immediately notices the change in my attitude. So he suddenly seemed to soften, conveyed it from his eyes and tone, and sent me a smile on the line. I knew he wanted to compromise, but he was very clumsy and barely could coax girls, so I couldn't wait for days to get me down.

In the end, we reconciled because we were on a business trip together, and the seats on the plane were next to each other, so we had to chat. He read the magazine and told me about the experience of self-guided travel in Spain, and I took advantage of it, and the embarrassment of more than a month was resolved peacefully. I told it as a joke to one of my best girlfriends, intending to prove my charisma to her, but she stared at me and warned, "You're in love." "Instantly, I was shocked. I immediately tried to oppose her, but I collapsed.

Unlike many workplace romances that seek sexual encounters, L and I are more like confidants who have discovered each other's tacit understanding first, we have a lot of common values and interests, and every time we collide, we are very surprised, and we always have a feeling of seeing each other late. It's just that we stop our discussion within the scope of our work, for fear that we will become more interested in each other after we get to know each other.

But there are some feelings that cannot be eliminated, such as the warmth and joy that shines in my heart when I see him for the first time when I go to work every day - I have never liked going to work so much. Because my subconscious mind has been preventing me from having anything to do with him, I never try to know what he thinks of me, I tell myself wishful thinking that he actually likes you too, and then I am happy for a while, and I will never put it into action to verify it, because it is immoral and can never lead to results.

If I had been lustful for the rest of my life, this life would have been fine. But more and more of the time L began to match my fantasies, which made me frightened and frightened at the same time. He was like an adult who had seen through my thoughts, waiting to play with me leisurely.

For example, if I send a WeChat message to my circle of friends saying that I am considering buying a car, he will soon send a bunch of recommendation lists to my mailbox. I bought two tickets for the concert (one was for my girlfriend), and he immediately asked who I was going to see with on WeChat. And so on, more and more attention and even began to interfere in my life. Sometimes I deliberately tease him: "I went to a concert with a handsome guy, what's wrong?" He would be cheeky and say, "Actually, I don't think I'm a handsome guy!" "Who said they went with you?" Then he ignored me again...... The most unique time was when I posted a QQ status and said, "Today I saw a little couple on the subway in the morning rush hour infinitely greasy, and I really feel that people in love deserve to have zero IQ", he actually said to me on WeChat in private: "Aren't you the same." "I can't laugh or cry, is he teasing me? Is he subtly confirming our "relationship"? I didn't say anything, he was so confident that I liked him?

I'll admit I'm quite happy in my heart. But reason tells me that I am playing with fire and immolating myself, and I can't let it go any further.

So I started to snub him.

So far, apart from a little ambiguity in language (not even flirting), we have never had the slightest physical cross-border contact. So I think it's the best time to retract.

Obviously, L didn't understand why I was suddenly cold at first, thinking that he had made me angry because he had said something wrong, and started that clumsy "flattery" again. I was determined to continue to ignore him, and avoided his eye contact when I met him on the road several times, and usually didn't talk about anything other than work. After a while, I think he understood, and at that time I changed to an MSN state: "Good medicine is good for disease, and what is bad for you is good for you." ”

Maybe you think it's not an office romance at all, and it's over before it even starts. But my tacit understanding with L is so good, almost nothing needs to be broken, everything is understood.

Just meet a good confidant, and then it's a pity to miss it! Unfortunately, there is, but at least it will be safe.

But I overestimated my own concentration and underestimated the counterattack of men's desire to conquer.

I am a person who, when I want to break my attachment to one person or one thing, I have to turn my attention to something else. Every day when I see the man I like and can't get close, I am naturally quite miserable, and every day at work becomes a torment: whether he is there or on a business trip, I can't stop thinking about it. So I often went to the office next door during that time, which is Manager S's department, but I got closer to S - because I felt that I would never take a fancy to him, so it might be safer to focus on him, of course, I also have selfish interests in career development, and the company merges to stutter, why not. One of the better things about me is that I don't deliberately slap the horse, but I can make others accept me very comfortably.

However, I paid a terrible price for this.

I have never experienced sexual harassment in the workplace before. But S did it for me.

This is definitely a model of asking for trouble.

S may think that his own magnetic field is too strong to make me fascinated by him, but now men are too confident, and women are a little more enthusiastic about him, so they always associate with their own charm. So after the company's annual meeting, he quietly pulled me away, who was already drunk. Because I'm still familiar with S recently, I didn't think much about it, and I thought I was going to transfer to watch the executive's performance, but it turned out to be more and more wrong.

Also, I really didn't expect S to pull my hand before L.

I struggled to break free and wanted to go back to the home field (the company rented a five-star hotel for the annual meeting, and the hotel garden was dark in the middle of the night), S actually hugged me from behind me, and I screamed in fright. His hand delicately groped my breast, and I was almost pulled off in a tight-fitting gown with a straight neck that night. S is a veteran of the love scene, he is not nervous, and whispered in my ear: "You are in such a good shape." With one last bit of patience, I warned him: "Let go! Otherwise I'll call someone! He pinched my waist again and let me go, and I looked back at him resentfully, and he was smiling and full of ceremonial lust—unless you throw yourself into the net, he is sure that you will.

At that moment, I thought he was handsome...... I don't know if my sisters have had this feeling, obviously he is a person you hate a lot, from character to habits, but he can mix in the rivers and lakes for many years, and he does have to be a little charming, you can understand it as the wild attraction of hormones. I am a young woman who knows the things of men and women, and I understand this confusion.

But you don't know what I like is L, not you! I don't think I'm messy enough! I ran away in disarray, thinking I would never see this man again.

Later, I thought about it, I can't blame S, the man is unmarried and the woman is not married, what kind of chastity and martyrdom are you talking about, have I locked my heart on L.

This incident stimulated me a lot, and I was in a state of distancing from work for several months. Fortunately, S is far away from the emperor in other departments, and I rarely meet him if I don't go to him. Until a company event, I had to travel together, and we met in the narrow road at the door of the bathroom in the lobby of the hotel, and when I saw that there was no one around, he walked behind me and boldly slapped my buttocks. I jumped in fright, and ran away with a pale face.

The two of us entered the lobby with our front and back feet, and I saw L staring at me from a distance, and I knew that my bloodless face was in stark contrast to the smugness of S behind me, and I think he had heard something during this time, and his expression was very bad at this time.

Then he was with me throughout the event, and he took the initiative to sit near me on the bus, although the two of them were not alone and didn't say anything, but I felt very relieved.

Later, I asked him that time was the most depressed, because he heard rumors about me and S being very close, but as a married man, he had no reason to stop a single man from pursuing a single woman, and he didn't want to ask if I was interested in S, so he was angry when he saw us together.

This game-breaking event is a departmental KTV activity.

We overfulfilled our tasks last quarter, and L invited colleagues from the department to dinner and sang K, four men and two women, and everyone had a good time. I sing quite well, and this time it was no exception to amaze them. L sings averagely, and he doesn't like to sing very much, but he can make the atmosphere lively and make everyone happy. I gave the microphone to the others after singing a few songs, and I didn't take much of my eyes off L all night, he was really good-looking today, the soft light on his Gaul-like thin cheeks, and the silhouette of the sculptural bridge of the nose seemed to glow with a bluish glow. He was most handsome when he wore a purple shirt, with a button open and he looked clean and sexy. The smell of smoke in the room was too strong, so I ran into the hallway to get some air. We were in a room on the third floor, and I leaned against the railing of the hallway and looked down, and the middle was full of colors.

The KTV lights in the night are bright, and there are noisy melodies everywhere, I looked down from the upper floor, and suddenly felt lost - I remember L's smile and cheek in my heart, and I may only be able to remember it silently forever.

Suddenly, my shoulders were held down by a pair of hands. It felt like an eagle catching a chick, and it hurt.

I was surprised, but I didn't look back - the man standing behind me could only be L. At first I thought he was joking with me, but his hands didn't mean to leave, but they gripped it tighter and tighter.

I was only halfway to say the phrase "leadership ......," and then I fell silent, feeling the strength of his fingertips. He pressed my shoulders silently, and the strength of his fingertips grew stronger and stronger, as if he was about to cut meat, and I couldn't help but scream. I don't know why I wanted to cry, but his body slowly approached me, and the hair on the top of my head could feel his even breathing. He wasn't excited, he seemed to be very lonely.

Suddenly, the theme song of "Farewell My Concubine" sounded in my ears, and I don't know which room door suddenly opened. The place was so conspicuous that L let go of his hands, he might have gone in. I stood there for a while, and then went back to the house. I didn't look back during the whole process, I didn't know what his expression was, I didn't know what his emotions were, but I was sad, and I felt like he was the same.