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Xiao M became a mother two months before we got the certificate. She was born in her hometown, and Y and I called separately to send blessings. X sent a photo of the mother and son in the hospital, and I became a godmother. Xiao M said that he would not be able to come back until after the year, and it seems that I can't eat my godson's full moon wine.

That day, when I was playing hot pot at home, Y discussed the topic of having children with me as never before, and I scribbled it in the past.

The story of me and Y could actually be written in another book.

The title of the book is "A Handbook for Marriage and Family Growth".

When I first got married, I didn't think there was any man who was more suitable to be a husband than Y: hardworking, considerate, earning, able to work, and without any bad habits and hobbies. Of course, he was very nice and accommodating to me.

But after I got married, I discovered that Y has a characteristic: he attaches great importance to money. When it comes to money, his eyes will simply light up&mdah;Maybe he was poor and scared when he was a child. In the past, when he fell in love, he was just frugal to himself, and he was generous to me; Now that I'm his "family", I'm going to have to take care of me, which makes me uncomfortable.

Before marriage, each person manages his own account, and many problems are hidden; After marriage, I often quarreled about it, I took the initiative to give up economic power, and the fashionable "wife management account" model of modern families did not work in our family. In the end, I compromised to pay Y every month's salary, and let him dispose of it (I didn't ask about the savings and daily expenses), and kept only a thousand dollars of pocket money for myself. However, it still doesn't work, it's still noisy. I can't figure it out, Y always seems to think that I will spend money indiscriminately, and he doesn't even worry about letting me take this little pocket money. I feel pitiful, the department manager of a listed company, I want to buy a bag, I have to save money for a few months, and when I have saved enough, I am ready to buy it happily, and my husband pours a basin of cold water down: "What are you doing with such an expensive bag?" You've got that many bags! Waste of money! Don't buy it! ”

"Didn't you say that I have the right to control my pocket money?" I'm arguing with reason.

"But you can't spend it! Be practical when you spend your money. ”

"I don't think I'm messing around. Women are like that, at least consumption makes me feel good. "I'm angry.

"I'm not stopping you from spending, but you should consume rationally......"

If I continue to talk about it, Y is about to take out the big hat of economic principles to press me, I can't talk about him, but I feel that I am really squeezed, and I am so angry that my throat is hoarse, and my seven holes are smoking.

I scolded Y for being "Zhou Papi", a typical little Shanghai man (although he is not from Shanghai), and forcibly turned me into his indefinite long-term job.

"What do you say! I'm not here for this home? It didn't cost you a penny! In addition to the daily expenses of the family, when do you think I myself bought a new pair of pants? A new pair of leather shoes? The money is saved, and sooner or later it will be used. Y seemed to be more aggrieved than me, and he was also indignant.

I struggled to explain, "Yes, you are indeed more economical than me...... But we really don't earn a lot, and we should also improve the quality of life......"

"We have a mortgage, we also have two cars, we have another child in the future, the old man will come to live together, and there will usually be a headache and brain fever, can you afford to improve your quality of life? Learn to plan ahead and don't spend money you shouldn't spend. ”

I sat silently on the sofa, looking at the fruit plate on the coffee table, and suddenly became angry: "Then you don't want to buy this in the future!" Anyway, you can't die if you don't eat fruit! And don't order milk! It's best that you sell the new house, we can rent a chase shop, and then save all the money for you! ”

Y jumped to his feet in anger: "Why are you so unreasonable!" If there is money that should be spent, then it should be spent; Some money shouldn't be spent, so you can't spend it&mdah;Why don't you understand this? ”

I finally found the root of the problem: "Why do you think you should spend what money should be spent, and what you shouldn't spend?" Who sets this standard? Why can't I spend money when I think it should be spent? ”

Y was still a dead pedantic: "I didn't say that. You can say what you think should be spent, and we'll discuss it and see who makes sense. For example, I think it is appropriate to buy a house, because we want to start a family, we need stability, and we also need a hukou for our children to go to school in the future, and the rent is for others, and the mortgage is for ourselves. And you're going to buy a bag&mdah;you're not short of bags in the first place, not to mention that such a small bag isn't worth so much money......"

"Enough!" I almost wanted to slam the door and say, "I'm going to be tired of arguing with you like this every day!" I've already handed over all my salary and bonuses to you, what else do you want from me? Do you know what I feel? I have no control over my own money, okay, I admit it; My mother has worked hard to raise me for 30 years, hoping that I can live a better life when I get married&mdah;As a result, once I get married, I find that the quality of life has plummeted, and I used to be able to eat a spring meal or something, but now I have to hesitate for a long time to even enter Pizza Hut. I don't think I have any excessive material desires, I understand the thrift you have cultivated since childhood, but can you also understand my living habits in the first 30 years? Can you not pull people who are used to eating white rice to eat bran vegetables all at once? ”

Y's truth is endless: "Life must be bitter first and then sweet, you are used to spending money now, and it is difficult to guarantee happiness in the future." You should take a long-term view......"

"Y, listen to me," I stared into his eyes with desperation, "don't try to change me, don't try to make me like your ex-wife or your ideal wife. There's no way I'm going to do that. I try to support you in the way you want to live, but you can't deprive me of all my freedom for that&mdah;I've backed down to nowhere to go! If you want to solve this problem, I only ask you to promise me one condition: you cannot interfere with the disposal of my monthly pocket money. No matter if I buy things or donate to disaster areas, you are not allowed to ask! Can you do that? ”

I could see that he still had a long story to say and stop, but he couldn't bear to let me cry. Finally he nodded, and I got up to go back to my room, when I heard him add behind his back, "But you can't do bad things!" ”

I thought it was funny, and then I became angry, and turned to him and yelled, "I don't have any money, so don't you worry about me doing bad things?" Are you out of the eyes of the money! I took such a small amount of money, and you even started to question my character! ”

After saying this, I suddenly stopped my mouth.

The heart is weak, and half of the qi is gone.

However, I am still angry: the old lady does not need to spend your money, she can still do bad things. Not only do you not have to spend your money, but you may be able to earn it and use other people's money to buy gifts and come back to you.

This man is really self-inflicted.

Of course we want to sit down and communicate. But in the early days of marriage, there are always countless bizarre differences that pop up and make each other feel incredible, shocked, and unimaginable. Such arguments are like a protracted war, seemingly indefinite, which is not only exhausting, but also undermines confidence. I finally understood why Xiao M cried all day long.