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The first conflict between me and Y was caused by something that seemed to me to be particularly insignificant. Baidu search

I went shopping for autumn and winter clothes with Y, and I helped him choose a dark blue long-sleeved plaid shirt, and Y said, "The color is not good-looking, it looks old-fashioned." I laughed at him: "You are middle-aged, why are you wearing so brightly." He glanced at me and turned the finger at me: "You are still a young man, you dress old-fashioned every day." I was a little annoyed: "Who's dressed old-fashioned!" You're a little aesthetic, aren't you? ”

Y stopped talking. And then the clothes were not bought.

I didn't notice that he was angry when I pulled him around, until I asked him what he was eating for lunch, and he said "it doesn't matter" with a straight face.

"What's wrong with you?" I'm a little baffled.

Y didn't speak, and walked towards the parking position.

"I said you couldn't be aesthetically pleasing and you were angry?" I asked angrily.

He still didn't speak. Along the way, no matter how I explained or teased, he was silent, and occasionally responded perfunctorily.

The first time I found out that he was arguing was in the form of a cold war.

I'm not going to apologize. I don't think I'm doing anything wrong either.

I was completely confused about the "sensitive points" of making a big fuss, and I found it difficult to explain it to him. A person like him, who is rational above all else, told him that "everyone's aesthetics are different, and it is normal to disapprove of each other, and he demands the same while reserving differences", but he couldn't accept it.

This time, neither side took the initiative to seek peace and resolution, and after about a week, it was automatically forgotten. However, this stalk is still buried in the ground, and in the future, we must always be careful not to turn the same topic out again&mdah;In the later life of Y and I, from time to time, I encountered such and such disagreements, unable to communicate, and minefields everywhere, and I realized that things were not good. But I didn't think much of it at the time.

Y is a person who loves to drill the horns. Probably he wasn't like that at first. From childhood to college, the excellence in his career is in stark contrast to his later marriage and career status, returning to his hometown to visit relatives and class reunions, he will not be under less pressure than my mother gave me. Long-term repression gradually formed an inferiority complex. Because of the failure of his previous marriage, under the cover of his calm and calm appearance, he is actually very lacking in self-confidence in all aspects of life, and he doesn't know which sesame little thing will inadvertently touch his nerves. The impact of major life events on him is far more profound than others have seen, and you can't imagine how difficult it is to reopen a completely closed mind and let it breathe freely.

Therefore, the worries and doubts of the elders about the marriage of divorce and remarriage are actually reasonable.

The maintenance of every relationship is not a simple matter.

"Do you understand my struggle and helplessness now?" Xiao M said confidently.

She and I sat in the nail salon, waiting for my little sister to pick a palette for us to choose a color.

"You don't seem to me to be a problem!" Xiao M threatened me and said, "When your future mother-in-law, sister-in-law, and sister-in-law appear, when you fight with your mother's family for 300 rounds, and when you are splinted, you will know that it will be miserable." ”

My mind was white and full of wild bees flying: "You think too much. I haven't thought about getting married. ”

"Not married?" Xiao M sneered, "Why are you in such a hurry to fall in love if you don't get married?" Y is not your favorite type, aren't you looking for him just to get married? ”

I was slapped again. Xiao M's words can always wake me up from self-deception. Including two years ago she said to me, "You're in love." "I had just met L then.

D isn't my favorite type, and neither is Y. It's just that he is a little more "cultural" than D, and he can communicate with me on a spiritual level. In the past, maybe it was the relationship of classmates. But today, it is quite rare to find such a husband. My love for Y is premised on going on for a long time. He did the same to me. Everyone is self-interested, but we have to try to win both sides.

It really doesn't have much to do with love.

But I don't think there's anything wrong with that. By my usual secular view of love, love can be cultivated. It's like if you get the seed of a plant you don't know what it is, and you nurture it carefully, and when it blooms and bears fruit, you will love either a rose or a pumpkin. This is also in line with the ideological and moral values education we have received since childhood: I am a screw, where I need it; Do a line of love, line out of champions.

Since life and career can be like this, love will not be an exception. This concept is now accepted by society as well.

After I broke up with Xiao M, I walked down the street and looked at all kinds of passers-by. Young couple with children, middle-aged woman carrying a vegetable basket, middle-aged salesman with a hurried look, and groups of high school students. Everyone has their own lives, and these lives are very real, so it's not easy. Some wives are separated, some are terminally ill, some families are ruined, and many people may have a more difficult time than my own sesame mung bean. It's just that when you look around, under the light and breezy sky, everyone is still trying to live.

Thinking of this, I looked at the blue of the lake on my fingertips, and I felt relaxed.

I stopped by the supermarket, picked out the dishes like a real housewife, and went home to wash my hands and make soup for Y.

Love is not a necessity in life, but security is.

If you can't find love and are willing to be single, you have to face doubts from everyone around you; If you find love, you can't get married, and you will face accusations from more people who can't beat them. If you want to live your life peacefully and safely, you must follow the trend of society, either lower your life goals to cater to others, or choose a partner who will not affect your life goals and live together. If you're lucky, you may be able to find out that you've made a fortune by gambling on stones, and you'll be glad you made the right bet.

Therefore, saying that "marriage is the grave of love" actually has another meaning: it is not necessarily that two people who love each other lose their love when they enter marriage; It may also be that a person sees through that love and marriage are not necessarily related, so he casually marries a person who has a slight emotional foundation and is not annoying.

Love is responsibility, or responsibility is love&mdah; this kind of saying is itself irresponsible to love. Of course, this is responsible for marriage. Loving someone to be responsible and stepping into the city is of course ideal; However, if you and the person you love are destined not to enter the siege, then you will not get married? Or is it possible for you to fall in love with someone else? Everyone is an irreproducible and irreplaceable individual, and your love for this person is not the same as your love for another person. In life, you are bound to love this a little more and love that a little less. But if you have a little love, you can still live a good life. And marriage really can't be equated with love, even if you marry the person you love the most, in the end, there are a bunch of trivial things, maybe it's better to marry someone else and live happily.