The diary was still turning the pages under the wind, and I extinguished the cigarette in my hand and pressed the page with my hand to prevent the wind from blowing wantonly.

Lin Xi's handwriting was small and light, and I couldn't see it clearly in the bad light, so I turned on the balcony light again, and then there was enough light.

I started reading from the first page, but I found that it was a long, long time ago, when Lin Xi and I didn't know each other, so all I saw was Lin Xi's own careful thoughts and understanding of life and longing.

Time passed minute by minute, and I finally found the diary that we first met many years ago, and it turned out that Lin Xi remembered me for the first time.

The content is as follows: "Today I am very happy to participate in the Trojan Cup billiards 9-ball girls' competition, all the way through, killing all sides, and easily advanced to the finals, my opponent is a senior sister who is two years higher than me, but it is because of this senior sister that I have encountered a hateful and hateful scum...... Before the start of the competition, he actually locked me in the bathroom and threatened me not to win the game, for such a lewd reason, he said: The first place in the girls' group has a prize of 1,000 yuan, and if his senior sister wins the competition, he can use the 1,000 yuan prize money to eat, drink, and pick up girls......"

Seeing myself appear in Lin Xi's diary, I smiled, I was so ridiculous in college!

I continued to look down...... "I finally know that the hooligan's name is Zhang Yixi, a marketing major at this school, who can play guitar and basketball very well...... But so what, it can't hide the essence of his straw bale! Such a straw bale can also receive higher education, which is simply a failure of Chinese education!! ”

I smiled helplessly, Lin Xi at that time had a deep prejudice against me, but it was also a little boring mentality that was most in line with my student days.

I flipped a few more pages...... "Although I insisted on winning the competition and winning the first place, I gave him a bonus of 1,000 yuan because I was afraid of the threat of that demon...... Whether I want to go or not, I wonder ......"

"I went out to party with that ruffian, and what was even more terrible was that I drank a lot of wine under his abduction...... Oh my God, Lin Xi, are you crazy? ”

I couldn't help but smile again, it turned out that Lin Xi, who looked polite, was so talented in scolding, in just a few diaries, she scolded me for being a hooligan, a scumbag, a straw bag, and a ruffian, and there was no one who repeated!

Continue to look down...... "Tomorrow, there is a basketball game between the Department of Marketing and our Department of Tourism Management, I have no interest in basketball at all, I heard that he will participate, I decided to take a look, I think, since I hate him so much, then I must see how he makes a fool of himself, so that it seems that my Miss Lin hates professionally!" ”

"Today I went to see that ruffian's basketball game, I thought he was going to make a fool of himself, and he did, he was broken by the captain of our department, and the corner of his mouth was broken with an elbow, and the blood flowed...... The court stipulates that if there is blood, you can't play, the referee asked him to stop the bleeding, he didn't listen, and the referee argued, and finally he swallowed all the blood, glared at the referee fiercely and asked: Can you play now? ...... I don't understand him a little because he's weird!! He will intimidate girls without a lower limit, but he will ignore himself for the sake of collective honor...... Let's call him a weird guy in the future! ”

"Today, the weather is nice, but my mood is gloomy...... I heard that the weird guy is pursuing Zuo Lan in the Department of Financial Management, but what does this have to do with me? ...... Strange day, strange me!!"

......

It's late at night, I still look at Lin Xi's diary, she hasn't written a diary for nearly two years, but she wrote a diary again on the day we officially fell in love, but two years later, her words are less girlish and naïve, but more mature and worried!

"I'm with Zhang Yixi, in a daze, I gave him my first time, but I don't regret it, but I'm afraid, afraid that I'm just a substitute for Zuo Lan!!"

"Every day with him is happy, but can pure happiness give me a future? ...... Seeing that my sisters have found a good home one by one, I really feel a little sorry for myself, his cynicism doesn't give me a sense of security! ”

continued to scroll down the diary, and for a long time after that, Lin Xi's self-struggle and painful entanglement were until one day!

"My heart seems to be dead, I can't see a little future, I really understand, why did Zuo Lan leave him...... I want to break up with him, it's not that I don't love him, I'm just too tired! ”

I lit a cigarette, closed my eyes and took a heavy breath and spit it out, as if I felt the original Lin Xi struggling on the edge of love and pain......

It was not until a long time after the breakup that Lin Xi took the diary from me, so he had the last few diaries.

"We broke up for a long time, but I still couldn't help but think about him, so I asked him to meet under the pretext of having a diary, and he looked very haggard and depressed, but he still didn't care about anything...... I feel sorry for him, I really feel sorry, I want to go back to him, but I don't have the courage to turn back...... Will he know that my heart is dripping blood when I seem to be leaving in a chic today? ”

"Tomorrow is my wedding day, but my bridegroom is not him...... He once said he wanted to see me in my wedding dress, and I decided to go to him, with my wedding dress and this diary...... Zhang Yixi, if you have the courage to open this diary, then I will tell you: I love you...... Always in love with ..... Come to me, as long as you come to me, if you still have the courage to say: I love you and let me see your determination, I will give up everything and completely entrust my life to you with the last madness...... Waiting for you...... Waiting for you to say you love me, waiting for you...... Waiting for you to run with me desperately...... You must come!! ......”

In the end, the words "You must come" can still be seen in the imprint left by the tears after they fell....... In the imprint of tears, I seemed to see Lin Xi at the wedding, wearing a wedding dress, but looking back frequently...... She was waiting for me, waiting for me to read the diary to desperately catch her up..... In the end, I saw her disappointed and lonely back.......

Tears blurred my eyes, why didn't I open the journal at that time? ...... Am I really out of courage? I don't have the courage to face the person I love...... I was really selfish, selfishly afraid that I would be hurt...... Selfishly thinks that women are ruthless........ Selfishly thinking that letting go is a gift to them....... But I threw the more painful pain to the women who loved me deeply.

In the midst of pain, I seemed to wake up....... The current Anqi, isn't it the original Lin Xi? Am I going to make the same mistake again?

Don't I even have the courage to face Angel again?