Zou Siqi always felt that Du Xiaosu had changed a little since he came back from Beijing, but where had changed, Zou Siqi couldn't say, he just felt that something was wrong. In the past, Du Xiaosu was very lively and energetic, and she could work overtime all night and pull her to eat ruby Xiaofang, and her mouth was not idle, from the latest gossip in the entertainment industry to the jokes of the aunt next door walking the dog. Although there are also talking and laughing now, but laughing and laughing, she often feels in a trance, as if her thoughts have drifted into the distance in an instant, as if suddenly there is an invisible big hand, which suddenly wipes the smile from her face.

Zou Siqi couldn't help it: "Du Xiaosu, why are you so wilted?" Quarreled with Dr. Shao? ”

Du Xiaosu said: "No. ”

"That's when you go back to their house, and his parents don't want to see him? Didn't you say last time that his parents were nice to you? ”

Du Xiaosu lowered her eyes, and Zou Siqi only saw her long eyelashes falling. They sat by the window, the early spring sun was just right, and her whole body was in the backlight, surrounded by a layer of vague halo of raw edges. Zou Siqi suddenly felt a little shaken, because her whole person looked a little weak, as if it was not real, the original ruddy baby fat on her cheeks was gone, and her face was thin into a real melon seed face. She couldn't help but hold Du Xiaosu's hand: "Xiaosu, what's wrong with you?" What's going on? Let's think about it! ”

Du Xiaosu was stunned for a long time before he said, "His father is ......" and said a name.

Zou Siqi didn't hear too clearly for a while: "Who is it?" Du Xiaosu didn't say anything. Zou Siqi scooped up the cake and stuffed it into her mouth, and suddenly choked on a mouthful of cake while eating, choking her so much that she rolled her eyes, and only breathed a sigh of relief after a while: "Same name and surname?" ”

Du Xiaosu remembered that in the airport, he had asked this sentence stupidly, was it really a bit silly, Shao Zhenrong was really a little nervous at that time, because he cared about her. She was so sad that she wanted to shed tears, but she shook her head slightly.

Zou Siqi couldn't help gritting his teeth: "Phew! What should I do? After a long time, are you worried about marrying into a wealthy family? This kind of golden turtle has caught your hand, what are you worried about? As he spoke, he poked her in the head, "Why did the best let you meet it?" I'm so jealous. Ouch, I really can't see it, Dr. Shao is usually quite simple, and his character is good, not like Brother Gongzi at all. You, don't think nonsense, as long as Dr. Shao is good to you, what are you afraid of? ”

Du Xiaosu raised her eyes a little hastily, her expression fell into that trance again, and she just said intermittently and a little weakly: "I really don't know that he is—in fact, I don't even recognize him......"

Zou Siqi couldn't understand, and shook her hand: "Xiaosu, what are you talking about?" ”

Du Xiaosu seemed to come back to her senses suddenly, her face was very pale, the corners of her mouth sank weakly, and she only said in a small voice: "It's nothing." ”

Zou Siqi was still not at ease after thinking about it, and called Shao Zhenrong after he got home. He was busy, and he was surprised to receive her call, Zou Siqi asked directly: "Doctor Shao, you didn't quarrel with Xiaosu, did you?" ”

He was a little puzzled and a little anxious: "What's wrong with Xiaosu?" I had a lot of surgeries when I came back, and she was very busy, and she hadn't seen each other for a week. What's wrong with her? Is it sick? ”

Zou Siqi heard the concern in his voice, immediately relieved his heart, and said teasingly: "Doctor Shao, career is important, love is also important, and I have time to spend more time with my girlfriend." ”

Shao Zhenrong smiled good-naturedly: "I know, I know." ”

In fact, he would call Du Xiaosu every night, but she was always working overtime, and the tiredness in her voice could be heard on the phone, so he always told her to go to bed earlier with great distress.

So on the weekend, he deliberately changed shifts with his colleagues and went to pick up Du Xiaosu from work early.

At dusk, there was a surging crowd, and he didn't wait long to see Du Xiaosu walking down the steps, she had lost a little weight, and she could see her head slightly bowed and her steps slowly in the sunset. He rarely saw her in such a decent suit, and he rarely saw her like this, and he felt a little strange in his heart. Because she has always been radiant, such loneliness seems to have changed into a different person, perhaps too tired.

"Xiaosu."

She suddenly raised her head, her eyes widened and she looked at him a little fixedly, as if she was frightened by something, but in a few seconds the corners of her mouth were already curved up, as if she was smiling: "Why are you here?" ”

"It's nothing to do today." He took her bag. It was time to get off work, and there were many Du Xiaosu's colleagues who came out of the office building, and some people looked sideways, no wonder Shao Zhenrong and Du Xiaosu stood together, no matter how they looked, they were a pleasing and eye-catching pair.

"What do you want to eat at night?"

She thought for a moment: "I want to eat noodles, eel noodles." ”

She wanted to eat eel noodles from the small shop near the hospital. On the weekend, there was a lot of traffic jams. He put a CD in his hand, the melody was beautiful, a man's rustling voice, like a moan, singing lowly: "Thankyouforlovingme... Thankyouforlovingme... IneverknewIhadadream... Untilthatdreamwasyou...”

In the city's most crowded evening, their car was caught in the middle of the traffic, slowly but persistently moving forward, until it came to a red light, and then stopped.

There are cars in front of you, left and right, and you can't wait for the green light to move. Du Xiaosu suddenly called him: "Shao Zhenrong!" ”

She likes to call him by his first name, and there is a kind of brutal closeness. He couldn't help but turn his face and smile: "What? ”

Her voice was pitifully gentle: "Can I kiss you?" ”

The roots of his ears turned red, and he said, "No! After saying that, he suddenly leaned over and kissed her. She hugged him tightly and refused to let go for a long time. The signal light had already changed, and the car behind was impatient and began to honk its horn, and he said, "Xiaosu." ”

She just didn't want to let go, as if if he would disappear if she let go.

He called her again: "Xiaosu." ”

Her tears suddenly welled up, and he was startled: "Xiaosu, what's wrong with you?" ”

She didn't answer, stubbornly weeping tears.

Xiaosu ...... What happened? Don't cry, tell me, don't be like this, Xiaosu......"

His voice was close to her ear, calling her name, holding her anxiously. The car behind was desperately honking its horn, and there were already traffic police officers walking towards them.

"Shao Zhenrong, let's break up."

His body shook slightly, and there was a trace of consternation in his eyes, and he didn't react to what she said at all. She repeated it almost numbly, and it seemed as if he slowly understood.

This sentence, she thought in her heart day and night, like a pot of oil, fried and fried, boiled and boiled, boiled and boiled, boiled her internal organs into ashes, boiled into slag, boiled until she herself no longer felt pain, but she didn't expect that the moment she spoke, she was still piercing.

A kind of disbelief gradually appeared in his eyes: "Xiaosu, what did you say?" ”

Her tone was calm and resolute, as if a suicidal person had cut his veins without a trace of pain: "I don't want to say it again. ”

He asked, "Why?" ”

Outside, the traffic police were knocking on their windows and making gestures. And he even had red eyes, and asked again: "Why?" ”

"I don't want to be with you, I don't love you anymore."

He grabbed her wrist so hard, she had never seen him like this. He was gentle, he was personable, and at this moment he was almost hideous, small green tendons burst on his forehead, and there were also on the back of his hands, and his voice was hoarse: "You talk nonsense!" ”

The traffic police increased the force of knocking on the roof of the car, and he had to turn back, taking this opportunity to push the car door and get out of the car, if she didn't leave, she was afraid that she would do something more terrible. She didn't look back, but hurried forward through the gap in the jammed car, like a fish that had escaped the net, and hurried to return to the sea. There were cars on all sides, and she stumbled and ran.

Shao Zhenrong was in a hurry and pushed the car door to chase after him, but was stopped by the traffic police. He didn't care about anything, took out his driver's license wallet and stuffed it into the hands of the traffic police, and ignored the car, so he went to chase Du Xiaosu.

He chased after two intersections before he caught up with her. She was running fast in her high heels, like a fawn, and fled in such a hurry that she almost ran blindly, and when he finally grabbed her, both of them gasping for air.

Her face was frighteningly white, and there was crystal sweat on her face, as if she still wanted to break free from his hand, but she couldn't break free, and finally she was a little weak and quiet.

"Xiaosu," he tried to calm his voice down, "what's wrong with you?" What am I doing wrong? ”

She lowered her eyes: "You're not wrong, I'm wrong." ”

"What's the problem, can you say it frankly? If I don't do well, you can bring it up, and I can change it. ”

His forehead was drenched with sweat, and a few locks were pressed against his forehead, and his eyes were fixed on her, like an inky sea under the stars, so pure that her heart was broken.

What was she going to say?

No matter what you want to say, you can't talk about it.

"Xiaosu," he held her hand tightly, "I don't know what's going on, but the emotional thing is not negative energy, if there is any problem, you can confess it, let's figure it out together, okay?" ”

There was pain in his eyes, and she felt more and more that her heart was like a knife, if the long pain was better than the short pain, then a knife was better than a thousand cuts.

"Shao Zhenrong, I have done a wrong thing before, and it is so wrong that it is irreparable." She almost pleaded, "It's so wrong that I can't love you anymore." Shall we break up? Shall I beg you? I really can't help it. ”

She was so proud, she had never whispered so lowly, he only felt heartache and was at a loss: "Xiaosu, no one never makes mistakes, the past has passed, I don't care about your ex-boyfriend, I also had a girlfriend in the UK." We met and fell in love now, and I only care about the present. ”

"Not so." She was almost exhausted, and only repeated mechanically and numbly, "It's not like that. ”

There was still no blood on her face, and she said slowly: "I really loved Lin Xiangyuan back then, and I loved it very much. I didn't have any setbacks at that time, my parents loved me, a prestigious university, and an excellent doctoral boyfriend, I always thought that I would marry him after graduation and be happy for the rest of my life. But that's not it, he went to Beijing, and I went to Beijing as soon as I graduated, but it didn't take long for him to marry someone else......" Her voice was lowered, as if it were fragmented, "I can't forget him, until I see him again, I don't know that I can't forget him...... So, let's break up......"

"Xiaosu, I don't believe what you say." He seemed to slowly calm down, although his fingers were still trembling slightly, but there was undoubted firmness in his voice, "Xiaosu, forget all this." Don't talk about it again, as if it didn't happen. ”

But she couldn't help it.

She spoke with difficulty, her eyes full of tears, and as soon as she touched it, she was about to roll down: "I always thought I had forgotten, but now I have no choice, even if you tell me to forget now, I can't help it." I can't face you at all......"

"I don't believe what you're saying." He said calmly but firmly, "I don't believe you don't love me. ”

If she could, she would rather die in this moment. But she couldn't help it, her lips trembled: "Zhenrong...... I'm real, I thought I loved you, but now I know that you're just a piece of driftwood that I can catch, and I'm sorry for you......"

His face turned blue, as if he vaguely foresaw something, and suddenly he interrupted her rudely: "Enough! Let's not talk about this matter today, I'll send you home, can you calm down? He tugged at her so hard, as if trying to stop something, but in vain.

"Shao Zhenrong," the sentence finally squeezed out from between his teeth, "Please don't run away, I really didn't like you, please don't pester me anymore." ”

The whole world seemed to stand still all of a sudden, such a noisy city, the flooded traffic on the lane behind him, the people coming and going on the sidewalk, the sound of cars, so noisy, but it seemed to lose its voice all of a sudden. Only his own heartbeat remained, "Boom! Boom! Knock ......"

Very slowly, very heavy, one at a time, then the pain, very subtle but very clear, slowly winding down the veins, all the way to the heart. It turns out that when the ancients talked about heartache, it was a real pain, the pain was irrepressible, and the pain was so painful that they couldn't even breathe.

He looked at her a little blankly, as if he didn't know her, or hadn't seen her. Otherwise, it's a dream, and as long as you wake up, everything is safe and sound. But there was no way to deceive herself anymore, her tears gradually dried, her face was tense and painful, and her eyes could hardly be opened.

The sky around was slowly darkening, the street lights were on, the car lights were also on, and the night was so beautiful that it seemed to be a kind of poison. And she is trapped in the Nine Hells, and she will never be able to be reborn.

"Zhenrong," her voice was almost calm, "let's break up, I can't be with you." ”

He finally let go of his hand, and there was no sparkle in his eyes, as if all of a sudden, the whole person suddenly dimmed like a shadow. He didn't speak, and turned slowly.

He walked slowly at first, but then walked faster and faster, and after a while he disappeared around the corner. And she stood there like a fool, watching him drift away.

She didn't know how long she stood there before she flagged down a taxi home.

When she got home, she put the water to take a bath, the water was rattling, she was a little stunned, there was a monotonous voice all the time, she thought for a while before remembering that it was a phone, as if her brain had stiffened. It kept ringing, and she wanted what she should do if the phone rang? What should I do if the phone rings? Finally remembered that I should go and answer the phone.

She stumbled out, tripped over the piggy pillow on the carpet, and slammed on the coffee table, and suddenly the pain was so painful that even tears were about to gush out, only to see the caller ID, she couldn't care about it, and hurriedly grabbed the earpiece.

"Xiaosu? Today's weather forecast says that there is a cold snap to cool down, your thick coat has not been put away, wear a little more tomorrow, cover the spring and autumn freezing, don't be greedy for beauty and refuse to wear clothes. ”

"I know."

"What's wrong with your voice?"

"It's a little cold."

Du's mother suddenly chattered: "Why are you so careless? Have you taken any medicine? Can't you call Xiao Shao to see if you need an injection? ”

"Mom, I'm simmering soup on the gas, it's going to be overflowing, I'm hanging."

"Whew! This kid does things, and he doesn't care about it! Go, go, go! ”

She hung up the phone, only to find that just now, the fall on her elbow broke the whole piece of skin, revealing red blood and flesh, which turned out to be not painful. She thought nonchalantly, it didn't hurt.

After taking a shower, she started to get dazed again, her hair was drenched, what should I do? She thought a little hard, blow dry, should be hair dryer.

I finally found the hair dryer, picked it up and found the switch, and the usual subconscious actions became the most difficult thing. She flipped the hair dryer over and wondered: Where's the switch? Why can't I find it?

Finally, I found the switch, and the wind "exhaled" and sprayed all over my face, and I was caught off guard by the heat, and tears suddenly welled up.

She didn't know how long she had been crying in the bathroom, maybe an hour, maybe four hours, and the wound on her elbow hurt so much that she couldn't do anything. It hurts like this, it hurts like this...... She cried so much, it hurt like this...... It hurts so much that you can't breathe, and it hurts so much that you can't think. She tugged at the hem of her clothes and rested her head against the cold basin, so that the pain came out of her internal organs, and the pain was desperate.

She whimpered and shrunk herself up, curled up in a ball by the basin, it was cold, she shivered with cold, but there was no way, there was no other way but to cry. She was wrong, so wrong, she didn't know it would hurt like this, but now that she knew, there was nothing she could do. She shrank and shrunk, just hoping that she would disappear from this world, or she would forget Shao Zhenrong forever. But when I think of him, my chest will feel tight, and I can't breathe, it hurts like this, it hurts like this, as long as I think of him, it hurts like this.