She had a high fever for a week, and the wound was also infected, she insisted on going to work regardless of it at first, and finally the whole person was in a trance and her hands could barely move, so she went to the community hospital. When the doctor saw her purulent, red and swollen wound, he immediately advised her to go to a large general hospital. Fortunately, it wasn't his hospital, half a city away from it.

But she was still afraid, afraid that she would tremble when she saw the doctor in the white robe, she was so scared that tears would fall anytime and anywhere.

You must squeeze out the pus from the wound and scrape away the carrion.

The nurse who treated her wound was surprised and said, "Why did you delay coming to the hospital until now?" If you don't come again, this hand will be wasted! Then he said, "Don't move, it's a little painful, just bear with it." ”

Endure, she desperately endures, it hurts like this, it hurts like this. The pain clearly felt that the knife was scraping on the wound, and the pain clearly felt that the scissors cut through the flesh, but she didn't shed a single tear, her fingers pinched deeply into her palm, and she only thought numbly: How long will it take, how long will it take to stop hurting?

Three or four bags of drips every day, the fever gradually subsided, her hands still couldn't move, changing the dressing every day was like being tortured, she would rather endure this cruelty that was almost scraping the bones to heal the wounds, it was better than the pain in her heart.

One day in the middle of the night, she fell asleep, and the phone rang in a daze, she picked it up, heard a familiar voice, and only called her "Xiaosu". She thought it was a dream, but it turned out to be a dream, and the phone hung up almost immediately, and she listened to the short busy tone and thought: it was really a dream.

She lay down and went back to sleep, and her arm ached for a while, and it hurt so much that she had no choice but to get up and find Fenbid. It still hurts to eat one, it still hurts to eat two, she magically broke out the whole box of medicine, a small handful, if she swallowed it all, would it not hurt?

She put the capsules to her mouth, and as long as she tilted her neck and swallowed them, it might never hurt.

After hesitating for a long time, she finally threw the medicine out fiercely, and the capsule fell to the ground like a handful of beans, making a loud noise. She fell, but her hand still hurt, and it hurt so much that she almost wanted to cry again. She called out in a small voice: "Shao Zhenrong." ”

No one answered her in the dark.

She was in extreme pain, curled up, curled up her whole body, and finally slowly fell asleep.

When he saw Du Xiaosu again, Lin Xiangyuan was really surprised.

She seems to have changed as a person, the last time I saw her, she was radiant, like a pearl, teaching people to take their eyes off, and this time I saw her, her whole person seemed to dim all of a sudden, and there was no longer the dazzling brilliance of the day. Although she was still concentrating in the meeting, she could always see her thick and heavy long eyelashes for an occasional moment, hiding a pair of eyes, like the deep shadow of a secluded pool, reflecting the sky and clouds, but with a kind of dazed helplessness.

After the meeting, when he went to the parking lot, Du Xiaosu realized that he had forgotten the information in the conference room. Ning Weicheng didn't say anything, but she was very guilty, she didn't keep her mind recently, and she was always lost. She whispered to Ning Weicheng: "Manager Ning, why don't you go first, I will take the information and go home by myself." ”

She took the elevator and went upstairs again, pushing open the door of the conference room, but she was stunned.

There were no lights on in the conference room, only a little red light could be seen in the darkness, and the shadow could be seen as a person sitting there smoking. She came in from the hallway outside, and for a moment she couldn't see who it was, so she hesitated to exit first.

"Xiaosu." Suddenly, he called her out of the darkness.

She deliberately said in a relaxed tone: "It turned out that Mr. Lin was here—I forgot about it here." ”

"I know." His voice was calm, "The switch is on the wall behind you." ”

She stretched out her hand and touched it, and sure enough, she pressed it, and the starry lights on the ceiling suddenly shone brightly. She was a little uncomfortable with the sudden light, and involuntarily reached out to cover her eyes.

When he put down his hand, Lin Xiangyuan had already stood up from the table and handed her the documents. He was still tall, and the huge shadow obscured the light above her head, and she said a little cautiously, "Thank you." ”

"Xiaosu, we don't have to be so polite to each other."

She was silent for a short while, and finally said, "Okay, Mr. Lin." ”

He suddenly smiled: "Xiaosu, I'll invite you to dinner." ”

She said: "Thank you, Mr. Lin, but I made an appointment with a friend, and I will talk about it next time I have a chance." ”

He finally sighed, as if he wanted to endure something, but he still asked, "Xiaosu, have you encountered something?" Can I help you? ”

She shook her head slightly, no one could help her, she just did her own thing.

He smiled self-deprecatingly: "I'm really ...... I'm really overwhelmed. Please don't get me wrong, I think you're not in good spirits today, so I'm just out of a friend's position to know if you're in trouble. ”

Her face was pale, and she just didn't want to speak again.

After being silent for a long time, he said, "Xiaosu, I'm sorry. ”

Du Xiaosu's face seemed to be very calm, and his voice was the same: "You don't have anything to be sorry for me." ”

"Xiaosu, you have a wealthy family, so you will never understand what struggle is, because you were born without struggle. I know you despise me and despise me, but you have never had my experience. He smiled a little self-deprecatingly, "In the past, you asked me why I did my PhD, and now I can tell you that it is because of low self-esteem." Yes, low self-esteem, only a degree can make me win the respect of others, only a degree makes me have confidence in myself. Can't think of it, right? Such a ridiculous reason.

"You know I was born in a mine, and my father died very young. I didn't tell you that my mother didn't have a formal job, and that I was able to go to school on that pitiful pension and the little money my mother had from her odd jobs. I will never forget that because I had no money, I watched my mother's illness change from hepatitis B to cirrhosis, and her illness was delayed by poverty. I can't stand this life anymore, this kind of poverty. Our No. 1 Middle School in the mining area is very famous, and many students are admitted to Tsinghua University and Peking University every year. You know why? Because I was poor, there was no way, there was no way out, so I had to study hard, be admitted to a prestigious university, come out and be reborn.

"But do you know how hard it is? It took me three or four times as hard work as ordinary people to get the scholarship, but when I graduated, I had nothing, no connections, no relationships, no reliance, Xiaosu, and I will never forget the embarrassment of looking for a job at that time. But you, you said that you were going to Beijing and be with me, and you didn't even bother about finding a job, because your father's comrades-in-arms immediately arranged everything for you. If you looked down on me because of this, I would feel better, but you are not like that, you don't have the slightest idea of this, but you are looking for a job for me.

"During that time, I could barely lift my head in front of you. What can I do after all these years of hard work? It's not as good as a phone call from your father, and it's not as good as the uncle or uncle I know at home from my undergraduate classmates. I don't have anything, and I even have to rely on you. I also need to feed my mother so that she can live out her old age in peace, I am her only hope in this life, the only pride! When I was at school, you always felt puzzled and wronged by my refusal to take you home, not because I didn't want to take you home, but because I felt that I couldn't let you face my mother. I went all the way to my Ph.D., and my home was really a house with four walls, a house like that, and a home like that......

"I'm so good in front of you, so proud, you've always been proud of me, you've always thought I'm the best in the world, you don't know how hard I've worked to stand with you. And you are so easy, you still have more than I have, you are so beautiful, so good, so simple that you feel inferior. I'm with you, it's too hard to keep such a beauty, it's too hard. So in the end, I really couldn't bear it, I couldn't hold on anymore......"

He paused for a moment, as if smiling, his voice became slight, revealing indescribable sadness: "Xiaosu, I can't make up for anything now, but I can say these things to you, which makes me feel a lot better." ”

His words were like a rain, dense and dense, making her only feel a slight chill to her bones. The lights in the conference room were like shatters, shining on his body, and the well-cut handmade suit lined the eyebrows, clearly familiar and unfamiliar. She really didn't think that he had such a heart and pressure. She tried her best to forget those things in the past, but she didn't expect to ruin everything today. And she just kept silent for a long time, as if she wanted to exile everything in the past quietly and silently in this silence.

Finally, she said: "The past is gone, it doesn't matter anymore. ”

He said, "Xiaosu, please forgive. ”

She was still silent: "You haven't done anything wrong, and you don't need my forgiveness." Then he asked, "Can I go?" ”

"I'll send you."

"No, you don't." She pushed the door of the conference room back open, and the wind in the hallway outside felt even colder on her body.

On the way home, Du Xiao looked at the street scene outside the car window. At dusk, the city is bustling with cars, bustling with cars and bustling as if nothing had happened. It's like a dream, if you can wake up, nothing happens.

And she will never be able to wake up from this nightmare.

When I arrived at the door, I found that my bag was missing, and I didn't know if it had fallen on the subway or in the taxi.

She was so tired that she didn't want to think about anything.

So against the door, sit down slowly, hugging your knees, like a baby, this is the safest, this is the best, if you can think of nothing, how nice.

The key wallet, as well as the phone, were all in that bag.

She couldn't get in, but it didn't matter, she didn't want to go in anyway.

There is a part of this world that has died forever and will never be able to live again. She buried her head in her arms, and if she could, she wanted to die like this, and never come back to life.

She once thought she had really forgotten such an unbearable past. Because of the ignorance and narrow-mindedness of youth, because of the impulsive indulgence of broken love, but after a night she hastily found herself in the same bed with a strange man, and after panic, she finally forced herself to forget. Succeeding, forever, forgotten, wiped out, never remembered, like a pair of scissors, cutting away a mess in the middle, leaving no trace of the remainder. Even she took the initiative to consciously erase all that memory and wipe it clean. But in the end, it was the heinous crime she committed that led to today's retribution. She thought it was just an occasional misstep, more than 20 years of good tutoring, she had never done such a bold thing, but she lost her temper after drinking, she didn't expect that there would be retribution today, it turned out that this was retribution.

She was wrong, so wrong, so outrageous, she couldn't think about it, she couldn't imagine that the man would reappear in front of her, and he was Shao Zhenrong's brother. This is retribution, as long as I think about it, my whole heart is anxious, as if the whole person is trapped in the nine hells, the body is burned by fire and ice, and he will never be able to turn over, and he will not be able to be at peace.

She didn't remember to call Zou Siqi until late that night, because her spare key was with Zou Siqi. She waited for a long time, and finally the elevator finally stopped on this floor, there was a sound of footsteps, and someone walked towards her, but it was not Zou Siqi who sent the key, nor was it a neighbor, but Shao Zhenrong.

She sat in front of the door so exhausted, and when she saw him, she jumped slightly, as if she wanted to escape, but behind her was a locked door, and there was no way back.

He looked at her quietly, carrying her bag in his hand, she looked at him in a hurry, he gave her the bag, and his voice seemed to be a little low: "You forgot to get in the taxi, the driver looked through the number book of his mobile phone, and called me." ”

She didn't dare to speak, nor did she dare to move, like a fish in a shallow pool, just afraid that a slight sweep of her tail would alarm people, and she would never recover.

"Xiaosu," he finally called out her name, as if there was some kind of pain in the two words, and his voice was still soft, as gentle as ever, "you have to take care of yourself, don't always be like this." ”

She didn't move. He stretched out his hand and handed the bag to her for a long time, but she still didn't move, let alone reach out to take it.

Finally, he gently placed the bag on the ground in front of her, turned and walked away.

It wasn't until the elevator door closed that there was a slight "ding" sound that she raised her head in shock.

She didn't care about anything, she just threw herself in front of the elevator door, and the numbers had changed rapidly, decreasing, like a desperate heartbeat.

She desperately buttoned it, but it didn't work, he was gone, it didn't work. She pressed the button desperately, desperately watching the numbers go down one by one, he was really gone. She turned around and ran down the fire staircase, layer upon staircase, black hole, no lights, no people, endless steps of steps, spinning down, endless down......

She only heard her own footsteps, "Click, click, click", accompanied by a rapid heartbeat, "plop plop" was about to jump out of her chest, so urgent, so fast, even breathing was almost difficult, but it was too late, knowing that it was too late......

She ran downstairs in one breath, and pushed open the heavy smoke-proof door with a "bang", and the rebounding door hit her calf, causing her to stumble, but she still stood firm, because she couldn't fall, she didn't have time.

The hall in front of me was empty, the marble floor reflected the cold light, and there was a sound outside, maybe it was raining.

Without the slightest hesitation, she rushed straight out, hurried straight down the steps, and just saw the taillights of his car, red, like a pair of eyes, dripping with blood and tears, but in an instant, she turned the lane, and was no longer visible.

It was really raining, the rain was drenching her hair, and she didn't cry, knowing that he was really gone.

He's really gone.

She stood there, like a fool, without saying a word.

I knew it was hell, but I plunged myself into it with my own hands, and I saw it to despair.