The car still drove from the bustling street into the dim alley, like a bright candle, suddenly fell into the dark abyss, all relying on the low beam to tear the shackles of the night, Li Shi opened the car storage box, took out a self-made album of Lin Ke from it, she was just about to open it, I pressed it back, in such a situation, I can't listen to Lin Ke's song, I will be sad......

Li Shi looked at me stubbornly, and inserted the CD into the slot as I liked, as if this was my car, and toss as much as I liked.

After reading the CD, I was emotionally engulfed by the music coming out of the player, and the first song was the title track of the album, "Leafy Faith".

I stretched out my hand to turn off the music, but was stopped by Li Shiyi, she was a little impatient and said: "Don't move your hands and feet, shake your head, driving is not honest, you plan to crash the car apart to be satisfied?" ”

Li Shi's cynicism made me more and more aggrieved, looked at her for a long time, and said angrily: "If you don't say a few words, you will die!" ”

My anger didn't make her compromise, she turned up the music louder, looked around lukewarmly, and said, "Don't talk anymore, listen to the song......"

So, I was coerced by her to listen to Lin Ke's song of pursuing ideals again: "The broken city, on the other side of the dream is the hometown, where the branches and leaves are luxuriant, everywhere is utopia, people from all over the world come to this place, plant hope in this soil, dream that in the spring will bloom gorgeous cause and effect, you see, the mountain full of pigeon flowers, just like when you were young, the water of the Yellow River is flowing endlessly, flowing with youth and ideals, but we are buried in the wind and sand on the way there......"

When I heard this song again, I felt inexplicably uncomfortable, I knew that this kind of discomfort should have become a habit of life a long time ago, and it should not be produced again, but who can control their own thinking? So, I condemned myself, and in the condemnation, I became even more lonely, not for anything else, but for the dream that was gradually becoming desolate......

After a song was played, Li Shi reached out to turn off the music, then looked up tiredly and sighed, and wiped his hands heavily from his cheeks, as if he had been carved into his bones by a sharp knife.

I don't want her to hear it, it's her own insatiable abuse, and now she's sad, who is to blame?

……

After being tired all the way, I finally parked the car smoothly in front of the hostel, Li Shi opened the door and got out of the car as usual, and then I parked the car.

Back in the store, Li Shi held a barbecue in one hand and a mobile phone with the flash turned on in the other, looking at me with blank eyes.

"Why don't you turn on the lights?"

"The lights just went on and then went out again."

Life experience told me that the fuse was blown out, and I didn't explain much, so I picked up my phone and went to the house to check, and as I guessed, I tried to look for the place where the fuse was placed, but I couldn't find anything to replace.

"Can it be fixed?"

"I don't have any materials, so I can only wait for tomorrow morning to call and ask the maintenance personnel in charge of this power supply to come over."

"Is there anything that can generate electricity?"

"These things were all pulled away by the wise old Gou two months ago."

But Li Shi didn't seem to be willing to talk to me about this, and after being silent, she said impatiently: "Then what should we do tonight?" ”

"What else can I do if I live for one night? If you don't feel well, you can also go to the hotel opposite to open a room to sleep. ”

"And what do you do?"

Letting out the sullen breath that had accumulated in my heart, I smiled and said to Li Shi: "Please don't ask one after another, I don't enjoy my life, I can't sleep." ”

Li Shi was silent, as if recalling how poor I lived after we met, and finally said to me for a long time: "I'll go and plug my phone into the car to charge some electricity, there is a barbecue here, you can eat it while it's hot." ”

This sudden concern made the guilt in my heart a little heavier, and I couldn't help but take out a cigarette from the cigarette case and light it, took a deep breath, and said angrily: "Why do you want to be a good person for a while, a bad person for a while, so that I really don't know what emotions to use to treat you." ”

Li Shi glared at me, as if she couldn't find an explanation, and only after a while did she say, "Whatever you want!" ”

Looking at the barbecue bought with real money on the table, and then touching the empty stomach, I couldn't get along with myself, after thinking about it, I went to the storage room and took out a few cans of beer, and I remembered that there were some candles left over from the last activity in the drawer, and after taking them out, I lit three first, and the whole room was suddenly full of poetry.

The warm candlelight dispelled the darkness, and I tore open a can of beer for myself, drinking and eating, but I didn't have much appetite, and the thought of the hostel that could "disappear" at any time filled my heart with an unstoppable loneliness.

A few minutes later, Li Shi returned to the hostel, and stood at the door in the dim light, staring at me in a daze.

After a long silence, I finally mustered up the courage to ask Li Shi, "Why are you standing outside the door, don't you want to drink beer and eat barbecue?" Now there is beer, too, and barbecue. ”

Li Shi looked at me, as if staring at the rare beauty in front of me, in short, I couldn't see where her eyes were looking.

A few candles seemed to have a magical power, which not only illuminated the room, but also brought this hall, which had been exposed to industrial civilization, to a room full of charm and drove Li Shi to sit down opposite me.

I picked up a can of beer and asked, "Would you like one?" ”

Li Shi looked at me by the candlelight, and did not accept or refuse.

"If you don't drink it, save a can for me, I won't thank you, it's better to barbecue and don't eat it."

Li Shi stared at me again for a long time and asked, "You must be disgusted with me every time you speak!" ”

I stopped and said: "Don't use this kind of words to make me sympathize with you, I think you are pitiful, I think you have something unspeakable, life is not cruel to you alone, you want to be an executioner and want to be a good person, the good and bad in this world are all taken by you alone, it is too unfair." ”

Li Shi was silent for a long time, and finally lost the upper hand in the battle with me, and only said with little confidence for a long time: "That's disgust!" ”

"Yes, today I finally understand what hegemonism is, and finally know what willfulness is!"

Li Shi tore open a can of beer, took a sip, and then bowed her head and said nothing......

Her appearance didn't make me panic, and I wasn't afraid that I would inadvertently say something that would stimulate her, and I couldn't say those decent scenes at the moment.

After a long time, Li Shi finally looked up at me and said in a soft voice: "In the end, we still have to accept this fact: we all live in an ordinary world, and to be an ordinary person, human warmth and warmth can only be experienced, but it can't help anyone." ”

I looked at her in a daze, and felt a little incredible, she actually talked to me about the warmth and coldness of people?

I closed my eyes and looked up and gulped down my beer, and when I opened my eyes again, I was starting to feel a little dizzy from the candlelight, and I couldn't guess what she was trying to say......

……

With a slightly drunk consciousness, I told myself not to think about anything, and it was a relief to get by, so I repeated the two trivial things of drinking and losing my mind, until the WeChat prompt sounded.

It was sent by Jing Qi: "Are you in the store?" ”

I burped and quickly replied, "It's already in the store, don't worry, Shen Hao didn't embarrass you, right?" ”

Jing Qi replied with a smiling expression: "Don't worry!" It's been less than an hour since the dinner started, he was already drunk, I found a substitute driver to drive, and he was already on his way back to the hotel, so you should rest early! ”

I don't know how to reply to this message, but I imagined in my heart that if one day, Jing Qi really became Shen Hao's bride, I couldn't help but feel an inexplicable suffocation.

In silence, I took out a cigarette from my pocket, but I couldn't touch the lighter, and just as I was about to give up, Li Shi looked at me with an idiotic look and said, "Three candles, which one can't light your cigarette?" ”

I smiled helplessly and shook my head, and approached the flame of the candle with a cigarette in my mouth, and the smoke spread between my fingers.

took a heavy puff of cigarette, then looked at the slightly flickering candle, and suddenly saw Li Shi's lonely face through the candle......

"You've already put me in order, what else do you have to be lonely?"

Li Shi finally didn't pay as much attention as she did just now, she looked at me and nodded, and then asked, "What do you think this hostel will eventually become?" ”

"A chess piece that has been discarded by you, it doesn't matter what happens, what are you thinking about? When the time comes, even me, the person you hate, will roll up the cover and get out of the way, and you, with the completed mission, can ask for credit and reward like Lao Gou. ”

Li Shi seemed to enter the situation I described, and said to me for a long time: "Life is always reincarnated on a strange track, and I am like this, in the state that others envy the most, envy others, such as you...... Inevitably, people are born with desires. Our desires always become more and more numerous and exaggerated as we get older. It was only when I grew up a little that I began to understand: it turned out that the occupation and coercion of another person were in vain, and I controlled people, but I couldn't control my heart, and I couldn't control my heart, and I couldn't control the desires that people were born with. ”

In just a few words, I felt Li Shi's transformation, and there was a little strength in her words, which seemed to be involuntary and mixed with her desires......

The candle flickered gently, the bottom was warm orange, and the tip of the fire shone with a faint blue light, which blurred my vision, and gradually, it seemed to let me enter another world, where there were my sister's happy times, my dreams and future, warm, sweet, flashing and flashing in front of me, and after coming back to my senses, the candlelight was still flickering, but the dream was lost......

I didn't fight back against Li Shi's strong words, but this definitely doesn't mean that I admit that I lost, it's just that I'm tired of the so-called arguments, even if she is concise and to the point, it will take me a long time to understand the meaning, but at this moment, I don't have the mood to understand deeply, and instead asked Li Shi the most difficult question in my heart: "Say, when are you going to sell the hostel?" ”