One thought, one love-

The two of them never mentioned the events of that day, and spent a few days without incident. Mo An gradually figured out his habits, he slept very little, sometimes went to the kitchen to drink water in the early morning and saw that the light in his study was still on, in the morning Mo An went for a morning run, he had already made a cup of coffee and sat in the yard to read foreign poetry collections, Mo An extremely suspected that he didn't need to sleep, because his spirit was always so good. In the morning, he would give Mo An a two-hour lecture on his professional knowledge of writing, and then he would set up an easel in the courtyard and draw a black and white sketch of a sunflower every day. He would take those paintings to a room, Mo An had never entered that room, he had given her an ultimatum when she first came, it was forbidden to enter. Although he hadn't seen it before, Mo An thought that there must be many paintings there, all black and white sketches of sunflowers. Mo An likes to see the way he paints, he will always look at the sun for a long time and then pick up the pen to draw carefully, at that time the lines at the corners of his mouth are soft, she thinks that is the real Lu Sheng. After all, it's terrible for a person to be quiet and emotionless all the time.

Lu Sheng doesn't smoke, but he always numbs himself with too much *. Mo An has seen him make coffee, from grinding to filtration, as if he is finishing a work of art. Lu Sheng's coffee will put a lot of sugar and a lot of creamer, and when she drank the cup of coffee she snatched for the first time, she found that the thick milky aroma will spread on the tip of the tongue, and there will be a trace of bitterness left in the end, maybe because it is too sweet, and Mo An understands the truth that things must be reversed.

In the afternoon, Lu Sheng would spend one to two hours talking to her about how to reflect the character and feelings of the characters in the novel, those are his years of experience in writing, Mo An listened very carefully, and wrote them down one by one with a pen. Lu Sheng said: "Mo'an, compared to ordinary writers, he is happy. Some emotional realities can't accommodate it, but they can be tear-jerking when written into stories. The characters in the story can help us love and hate, and help us do everything we want to do but can't. You say, are we not very lucky. ”

Mo An felt that a strange feeling was secretly growing in her heart, she didn't understand what it was, she had never been with a man before, she didn't understand that when her eyes followed him, she didn't understand that when she wanted to understand him, she liked it. Although I am writing some stories of love and love, I have not experienced these Mo'an, so it is understandable that I don't understand it. On the day he left, Mo An packed his luggage and left without saying goodbye while Lu Sheng was writing in the study. She didn't want to ask why she did it, her instincts told her that she couldn't afford that answer. Well, she's an ostrich, she's going to hide in her shell, when nothing happens and nothing changes. She is still the original Mo'an, and she hasn't met a Mo'an named Lu Sheng.

After returning from that villa for more than two weeks, she felt sick, couldn't write a word, was always distracted, and... I think of the man named Lu Sheng. She panicked, why did she miss him. That man with a bad temper and bad character, why is his head full of him. Like... Do you like it? How could it be, how could it be like him. But if she doesn't like it, then what's wrong with her. There were two of them talking in her heart, and she admitted that she denied it, and Mo An's heart was even more confused. She shook her head vigorously and decided to go to him, she wanted to find Mo An who had been left behind in Lu Sheng.

After all, Mo An is a little girl who is new to love, how can she compare to Lu Sheng's thousand-year-old snake demon. Mo An raised her red little face and looked at Lu Sheng, she said: Lu Sheng, I forgot to take something away, I'll find it. Lu Sheng didn't look at her and motioned for her to come in and look for her. "Lu Sheng, I like you." She carefully grabbed Lu Sheng's cuffs, and with a slight twitch of force, she broke away from her hand. Mo An didn't feel it, after so many days of getting along, she saw a way out of life There is a woman in her heart, and it must be a woman related to sunflowers. But she just didn't give up, she had to hear it from his mouth. She comforted herself that only in this way could she completely die, after all, love is not everything.

One Season and One Death-

"But I don't like you." Mo An had always known Lu Sheng's directness, although he had expected such an answer, his heart still couldn't stop hurting fiercely. This is her first love, and it ended without a start and no process. She left the house in a hurry, and Lu Sheng's voice kept ringing in her ears, and he said, "Mo'an, I am someone who shouldn't be liked." Sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. You will meet someone who will love you and cherish you, but that person will not be me. Mo'an, it's good to love if you've been here, you should understand that we are not suitable. "It's good to be here... It's good to have loved... Is that all? Mo An squatted on the ground and hugged herself hard, she wanted to say that it hurts, every cell and every pore, and she can't see a way out of the pain.

At that time, she was too young, and there were many things that were hindsighted. She once thought that after a long time, she would forget. She told herself over and over again: It's okay that she just likes it, and it's okay that she just likes it. She began to fill the emptiness brought to her by love with long paragraphs of text, and also began to drink lots and lots of coffee, but without sugar, and let the bitterness spread to her heart.

What Lu Sheng brought to Mo'an was an unforgettable pain. Because the pain was so thorough, that she missed him so much. What is love, what you can't get is the best, is it? Mo An is reluctant to describe her love as superficial, she really likes him, it has nothing to do with his appearance and talent. I don't know when I put him in my heart, I like him so deeply, Mo An doesn't know how long he will like him, such a one-sided liking is torturing Mo An's sensitive heart all the time. Mo An didn't know when this kind of pain would end, she wanted to say, even if she cried in pain like this, she still felt that liking was a kind of happiness. This is Mo'an, stupid and distressing.

A few years later, Mo An wrote in her essay: I am in love with a man who has a tattoo on the back of his left hand and a flower on his right hand. There was a deep sadness in the corners of his eyes, and there was a deliberate alienation between his lips and teeth. I forgot to say I love him. Yes, I loved him and loved him for four seasons.