There is no blue sky in the blue sea, just like there is no me in your eyes.

1.

Throughout April, Banxia hid in the house, no sound could reach her ears through the closed door, heavy curtains blocked the sunlight outside, and she hid in the dark world with a dream that she never wanted to wake up.

She dreamed that she was wearing a white wedding dress, holding her father's arm, and walking from this end of the red carpet to Jing'an step by step.

She tells Shigemitsu that she would rather die in this dream. Sometimes, she thinks it's good.

She saw Jing An in her dream, and when she woke up, Jing An would leave her, and she said to Chongguang, if I can sleep forever, can Jing An always be with me? Shigemitsu told her that I knew I couldn't see her face even through the deep blue water.

She jumped up from her seat and ran to the bathroom to brush her long hair up. Back to the computer, she said, "I'm going to have a drink." The light should be lowered, and then the avatar turned gray. She took a beer from the refrigerator and opened the curtains on the balcony, where she and Jing An had counted the stars and talked about love.

Jing An was the person she had liked for a long, long time, and she was willing to leave her hometown with him, but he left her alone. There was a cool touch on her fingertips, and she broke the tab to open the can, tilting her head back to pour the bitter liquid into her body.

Little silly pig, you drink again, why don't you know to take good care of yourself? I'll be worried.

In a trance, he heard Jing An whispering in his ear, and Banxia suddenly woke up. She stared blankly at the darkness of the night outside, and then looked down at the empty cans thrown on the balcony.

Su Jing'an, since you left me alone, leave me alone, I hate you, I hate you, why do you want to leave me alone in this world? She crouched on the balcony and began to cry, tears sliding down her face and dripping to the floor.

After falling in love with Jing'an, she became a crybaby. She has always been an extremely fragile person, but she always pretends to be strong in front of others, only Jing An knows that the calmer she is, the more angry she is.

Over the years, she has few friends, and she is alone there, Jing An often says that her body is like two different hers, one is noisy and the other is quiet and silent.

She always remembered the words Jing An said when she left, although there was no sound, but she understood it. He said, be happy.

He always wanted her to live happily, but she was never a good and obedient person.

She once told Jing An that everyone was burdened with the sins of this previous life when they first came to this world, and they were sad because of it, and that his happiness needed to be explored. I remember that at that time, Jing An patted her head and looked at her for a long time, and finally took her into his arms. Jing An said, you are such a distressing silly child.

The sky was overcast and the wind was blowing. She leaned against the railing of the balcony and leaned out halfway. I want to go to you, will you see me? The knuckles of her fingers were a pale white, and she muttered to herself, Jing An let her live well, but she wanted to go to him. She knew he would be upset and would be angry and scold her for being a stupid piggy, but she really missed him.

2.

She slept for a long time, got up from the bed, she smelled bursts of fragrance, she knew that Qiyue had come to see her, and she knew that her refrigerator would be full again. She got on bed barefoot, and there was a burst of coldness from the soles of her feet, and she rubbed her face with her hands and went to the kitchen.

She stood in the doorway and watched the busy figure in the kitchen, with the occasional glimmer of a smile on her face, which would soon disappear again.

Qiyue turned off the gas stove and turned to look at her, the air was filled with the sweet smell of borscht, she sniffed, pulled out a smile to show Qiyue, and looked at Qiyue, her concentration was always not very good.

If you don't want to laugh, don't laugh, it's ugly. Qiyue set the meal and pulled out a chair to signal her to sit down and eat. She hesitated a little, was stunned, but walked over and sat down.

After Jing An left, she was afraid to eat at this table again, so that Jing An would sit opposite her and keep serving vegetables to her, and now Qi Yue was sitting opposite her.

She ate very little, put down her chopsticks and looked at Qiyue, who was sitting opposite her and eating. She is the eldest daughter in the family, but she is cared for by her elders, and after meeting Jing'an, she begins to learn to cook, from simple tomato and egg soup to be able to make a table of exquisite and hearty meals.

At first, the dishes she fried were either too salty or too spicy, but Jing An always ate all the dishes she cooked and praised her with a thumbs up.

The police station called and asked for the body. Qiyue put down the dishes and chopsticks, and after seeing her sad expression, she suddenly became a little angry, remembering the call she received in the morning.

Come with me. She got up to clean up the dishes and chopsticks, and Qiyue stretched out her hand and pulled her with an apologetic face.

I'm sorry. Qiyue didn't know how to say it, how much pain she felt in her heart, and how much she wanted to leave this world to go to Jing'an, these Qiyue knew it. But Qiyue just hopes that she can live in this world, at least Qiyue needs her to live.

When she came out of the police station, the sky was gray, she felt cold, but there was a trace of warmth in the palm of her left hand.

In the morgue of the police station, she watched as the indifferent male policeman opened the freezers one by one, then looked at her before pushing the freezers back. Until the last one, the police shook their heads at her, and Qiyue pulled her out of the morgue.

Qiyue sent her home, settled her and left in a hurry. Before leaving, Qiyue hugged her and gently said to her, if you want to die, you can go. But I will hate you for the rest of my life.

She took off her shoes and walked around the house barefoot. An hour later, she ran to the study, turned on the computer and went online to find Chongguang. Chongguang and she are both online writers, writing innocuous words to make others laugh or cry.

I know Chongguang because Chongguang wrote seven love letters to a woman, and the love written was sincere. She felt that Chongguang was self-inflicted, but she made up a happy ending for Chongguang, and Chongguang laughed at her, which is nothing more than a story that can't become a reality.