When I heard the bad news of Shen Lin's death, my whole person fell into unreal self-suggestion, I didn't want to take all this I heard as real, I was afraid to see the hope of life shattered in vain, but I felt desperate that this was not an illusion, everything I was worried about still happened, all the fragmentation happened at the same time.

Gently putting my phone back in my pocket, I picked up the spatula again, tried to control my emotions, put the cabbage down in the pot and stir-fryed, and finished the meal for Li Shi.

"After frying this dish, you can go over, and I'll make the rest myself."

My mood was touched by Li Shi's words, and I was silent for a long time, and finally raised my head to look at her, and said: "It's nothing early, she is gone, forever, mourning is a lifelong thing, don't rush this time." ”

"But I don't want to eat your plate of cabbage with salt added three times!"

I hurriedly threw down the salt bag in my hand, exhaled softly, and said with a sharp blade in my heart, but I tried my best to say calmly: "There are still cabbage in the refrigerator, I will do it again." ”

Li Shi shook her head, calmly put the cabbage on the plate, and signaled that she could use this to eat.

I felt a bitterness churning in my heart, picked up the plate with cold cucumber next to me, handed it to her, and said, "Put so much salt, don't eat it, eat this!" ”

Li Shi didn't answer, looked at me and said, "Cucumber is a substitute for latecomers to save the scene?" ”

I handed the plate to her again, and said, "Give me face, okay?" ”

Li Shi didn't embarrass me anymore, and finally took the plate from my hand, but she was no longer in the mood to eat, and always looked at me with a little sluggishness, this performance made my mood more and more heavy, I didn't avoid her gaze, but also looked at her, subconsciously touched the cigarette in my pocket, but soberly endured.

"Everyone will face life and death, rather than lose your soul here, it is better to send her off."

"Can't face it!"

"If you don't face it, you'll never get out!"

Me: "......"

"I can't stand this kind of scene, so I won't go, I can see that Shen Lin has always liked you very much, go and send her on the last ride!"

"The first college classmate related to me is gone, and the death is too sudden, please forgive me for not being very good at adjusting my emotions."

Li Shi tilted her head slightly, tears kept falling, but she didn't cry and looked at me, she cried and made me panic, and I couldn't find a paper towel in the kitchen for a while, so I had to hurriedly wipe her tears with my sleeve, she didn't avoid it, still waiting for me to reply......

Her encouraging eyes were engraved in my heart for a moment and I will never forget them.

I closed my eyes and swallowed my saliva in pain, maybe the answer was already in my heart, I didn't worry too much and escaped, nodded, and replied: "I'll go, I won't escape, thank you for letting me face my demons honestly!" ”

Li Shi nodded, already picked up the plate of cold cucumbers, and left the kitchen full of burnt smell......

……

Rushing to the hospital by car, time tore at my pain, and I got closer to the truth step by step, I saw Mo Qiu in the corridor of the morgue, and she also found me in the crowd, walking towards me with heavy steps.

Mo Qiu's eyes were red and swollen, in my impression, she was rational and never emotionally affected by anything, the intersection between her and Shen Lin should be in Lin Ke's bar, or in the coffee shop where she sang songs, but all this seems to be unimportant anymore, and the intersection of several times may have made the two people who were not lucky in the relationship become confidants.

"Go meet her! Hurry up, Lin Ke has already gone to contact the funeral home's car, and he asked me to wait for you here. ”

Standing at the door, I looked into the morgue, and the weeping relatives in a circle made people's hearts tug, and I was so scared that I didn't dare to go in......

I can't cry, I really can't cry.

Mo Qiu didn't urge me, tried to restrain his emotions and looked into the distance, and then came back to his senses and said: "She is there, she is herself, waiting for you to approach, but she can no longer accept you with open arms." ”

I felt uncomfortable, uncomfortable and wanted to pinch myself.

Mo Qiu took out a very familiar MP3 from his bag, handed it to me, and said: "She once gave me, saying that no one can give it, I think it belongs more to you in the past, and now I will give it to you!" After listening, you will know that there was a person who once had the same mind as you, singing an inexplicable touch. ”

I took the MP3 and suddenly remembered that this was the one she used to hand me to listen to the creative samples, and I often laughed at her for writing songs that were too petty, purely a little girl's view of love in the country of kimchi.

"Why don't you open it and listen to it?"

"No!"

"By the way, I've made a copy of the song in it, I've had the pleasure of seeing her perform a few times, she doesn't like to call people in the audience fans, and she's very sincere in thanking all the people who have grown up. I once confessed under her WeChat, "I'm your brainless fan", and she replied, "Don't talk about yourself like that." Many of the songs in this MP3 are high-quality songs, before impressing others, she wrote things that moved herself, she valued family affection, and said that if she had a child, she hoped to be a son, as good as you. She told me that when she was about to graduate, she remembered more than once at night that her grandmother, who had left this world, "When I saved enough money, I would buy a comfortable SUV and take her to enjoy the scenery that she didn't have a chance to see when she was young." But after all, there is no time! Later, she gave more time, which should have been left to wait.

Mo Qiu's words suddenly reminded me of when I was in college, sometimes when I went out for a trip and sent her a cool sunglasses to take a selfie, she would be very happy.

I put the MP3 in my pocket, walked quickly to the door, stood outside the crowd and looked at her, she was still so quiet, because she was far away from this troubled world, the only person who could communicate with her should be the angel with wings!

Shen Lin's father thanked me for coming to condolence, while making way for me, I stepped forward, looking at her a little distractedly, if it weren't for the smell of disinfectant in the hospital to stimulate me, I am afraid that I would be unconscious because of a daze, I really like her state, if she can live such a good life before her death, carefree, worry-free, leisurely, calm......

After a difficult time in a trance, all I could do was remember this trivial thing, and later, as if my memory had been cut off, I only knew that in the sound of mourning, she was loaded into a hearse, pulled to be cremated, and after a few hours, turned into ashes.

……

In the small courtyard, Lin Ke, Mo Qiu, and Nian Ge and I participated in the memorial ceremony, and there were many people who came to play condolences, none of us knew each other, but we bowed to all the visitors with gratitude.

A neighborhood girl she grew up crying heartbreakingly, and when the people who came to mourn were not painfully advised, she threw away her hand and cried:

"That's the hardest thing, when I'm still immersed in this feeling, and everyone else seems to be okay. I couldn't talk to anyone, and I was afraid that people would say to me, "Everyone's gone, don't think about it!" "How can you not want to? He. Damn, how could you not want to? My best friend is gone and I will never see her again. I miss her so much, I really miss her! A few days ago, we were still eating together, and this time last year, we also discussed going to the alleys of Xi'an to find the most authentic mutton steamed buns. She's the best girl I've ever seen, she's the coolest girl I've ever seen, she loves to eat as much as I do, she's so nice to me, really nice. Why is a person who was once so alive now a box in his hand! ”

In the evening, the last ray of afterlight shone on my face, thinking that Shen Lin could no longer feel this beautiful world, I was finally overwhelmed by my emotions, I couldn't hold back anymore, squatted down and cried myself.

It was dark, after experiencing last night's wind and rain, the night was full of bright stars, sending away all the mourners, Shen Lin's mother told us that Shen Lin collected a lot of musical instruments and other things during his lifetime, as long as it is not taboo, we can take whatever we want, so we each kept a relic as a souvenir.

Instead of focusing on the instrument, I saw a set of books on the shelf.

She used to envy me for telling all kinds of jokes, talking and laughing in front of girls, asking me, "How to develop a sense of humor", I recommended a writer to her, but she didn't expect to buy a set of books.

Eventually, I left one of the books in this set that I will re-read and treasure forever!

Lin Ke chose a keyboard, Mo Qiu chose a harmonica, and after choosing the items, Shen Lin's father pleaded: "Xiao Lin wrote a song that she liked very much before her death, called "Can't Help You", but I can't hear her sing anymore, she liked to sing with you so much when she was alive, she must be happy when you sing it, can you sing it for her once?" ”

"Of course!" I replied without hesitation.

Shen Lin's father bowed and thanked me, handed me a handwritten sheet music, Lin Ke leaned over to look at it, tried to hum, and said, "This song, you and I can't sing it well!" ”

"But Nian Song just went back, why don't you come and sing it?"

"I don't know sheet music, so I'd better be a spectator!"

Lin Ke said in a timely manner: "Yu Hang is right, you have a good voice, why don't I teach you?" ”

"I won't be able to learn in a short time, so don't waste your efforts on me."

Shen Lin's father's eyes were full of disappointment, this concert was full of the taste of farewell, after careful consideration, we still called Niange, on the phone, she hesitated for a while, and finally agreed.

After saying hello to Lin Ke, I began to help carry the equipment needed for the meeting, and then waited for Niange's arrival.

……

Half an hour later, there was a sudden sound of braking outside the door, and then I saw Song Niange in a black leather coat and Martin boots, and the most eye-catching thing was the white flower tied to her arm and the cigarette in her hand, reminding us that she was not here for a concert.

She is still the same as before, exuding a unique temperament, similar to the kind of loneliness that comes and goes freely. She has always avoided this kind of life and death parting scene, and today we let her come, which is somewhat cruel!

After saying hello to Lin Ke, who was still busy, he took the score from my hand, watched while smoking, adjusted the guitar for a while, and after a while, he said to Lin Ke, who was debugging the MIDI keyboard: "Don't rehearse, I can't bear some emotions twice, go through it again, whether it's good or bad!" ”

I looked at Shen Lin's photo, my lips moved, and I wanted to say something, but in the end I didn't speak, just took a sip of the liquor in front of me, then picked up the bass, signaling that I could start.