I was silent at first, and then an irrepressible anger rushed to my heart, clenched fists hated to crush the bones, there is nothing easier in this world than death, but when life and death come, people are so helpless.

There is a lot of rain in summer, and the sky was still sunny before, but suddenly there was a storm, it seems that before the big event in the TV series, there is always a stormy plot, and it is not fabricated out of thin air.

In the car, Li Shi comforted me over and over again, but the dark clouds that were good at creating panic for people seemed to destroy the ancient city, and the originally lively scenic spot became empty, only a few street vendors begging for a living, desperately squatting on a tricycle in the wind, as if fate was governed by wind and rain.

Li Shi drove the car carefully, and allowed me to smoke a cigarette to relieve my emotions for the first time, in the closed compartment, the second-hand smoke was too harmful to people, and I did not choose to light the cigarette in the end.

As soon as I closed my eyes, my mind was full of memories of my college days, Shen Lin jumped up and down behind us, clamoring to learn guitar from me, I always impatiently derogatory her, but she didn't mind at all, but happily buckled a lot of funny dolls on my guitar case, I didn't cherish it at all, I didn't think it was cool to hang these things at all, so I took it off and threw it away, she always took the trouble to pick it up, and then pouted and looked at me.

In the closed compartment, the cold wind blown by the air conditioner made people dizzy, and the mobile phone rang again, or the song called, this time, I didn't dare to answer.

Li Shi was inconvenient to drive, so she urged me not to delay and get on quickly.

I swiped my phone away, and I wanted to say something again: "What's wrong with people?" ”

Nian Ge on the other end of the phone choked up and said, "The doctor said that Shen Lin is two months pregnant, and this car accident is really fatal......"

I seemed to have lost my sense of hearing, letting the mobile phone slip out of my hand, the rain outside the window finally fell, crackling and smashing the windshield, falling more and more, and the wind never stopped, blowing the trees on both sides of the road left and right, so that the whole scenic spot seemed to have no fulcrum, falling and tearing with the wind and rain......

The car passed by the "Yijian" coffee shop, and the surrounding cordon had not yet been removed, and several policemen were taking Qu Sen to identify the scene in the rain.

I banged on the window of the car to make Li Shi stop so heavy that she almost couldn't breathe, stiffened her body, and then rushed into the rain desperately, cursing angrily outside the cordon, but the rain poured down the tips of my hair into my throat, and I couldn't make any sound.

The blood stains on the ground were faintly visible, like a drop of scattered red ink, diluted by the rain little by little, I gasped for breath, but I still breathed bitterly, and the world was only left with the extreme color of blood red.

Qu Sen under the black umbrella, the perennial oily three seven points have been wet by the rain, sticking to his forehead, he saw me in the crowd of onlookers, and suddenly pointed at me in a violent mood and said: "You devil, you are all harmed, you are all you!" ”

Everyone around me looked at me suspiciously, and the two policemen who maintained order quickly controlled me.

Li Shi hurriedly got out of the car and desperately explained to the police.

I lost my mind and struggled: "You stinky idiot, why do you want to pull Shen Lin to death." ”

"It's all because of you that Shen Lin is so ruthless to me, her death has nothing to do with you, you have bad intentions, why do you want to appear in my life, why? Do you know that she has always loved you all these years......"

The dark clouds and rain seemed to sing a lamentation in the city, Qu Sen didn't forget to bite me back when he died, this kind of person is no longer a human being, I don't struggle anymore, and roared in the most tearing voice of my life: "Does it really matter who you love?" She was pregnant with your child, and it was you who ended her life with your own hands. ”

Qu Sen looked at me, finally lowered his head, his body was paralyzed, and then he fell into a stupor.

Li Shi's explanation worked, and the police let go of me, and she held my hand tightly.

I was at a loss in the pain of collapse, I couldn't cry anymore, I subconsciously clenched her hand tighter and tighter, and she leaned in my ear and comforted: "Let's not waste time here, Shen Lin is still waiting for us in the hospital." ”

I nodded and quickly got into the car with Li Shi.

The car isolated me from the storm again, Li Shi leaned over to fasten my seat belt, drove the car through the rain and fog and continued to move forward, Qu Sen squatted on the ground in the rearview mirror, he buried his head deeply, as if listening to the sound of falling rain, or thinking about some thoughts, but I was not sure whether his soul was also repenting in the wind and rain......

The rain still didn't stop, the wind passed through the gaps that were not tightly closed, blowing the peace and happiness in the car, blowing my hair, I finally swallowed in pain and said to Li Shi: "I'm sorry! ”

Li Shi cried with me, and while waiting at the traffic light, she wiped her tears, reached for the cigarette on the center console, took a cigarette into her mouth, lit it awkwardly, and then handed me the cigarette in a violent cough......

……

After smoking a cigarette, my mind gradually calmed down, but the traffic became extremely congested due to the heavy rain.

The rain was pouring down and hanging like a curtain on the windshield, and I felt a little oppressed in this enclosed space.

Li Shi made a decision at the intersection, she drove the car to the door of a supermarket, and then ran with me in the rainstorm with an umbrella.

This was the first time I saw the unusually calm Li Shi extremely desperate, and in the second half of the race, she almost pulled me to run.

Coincidentally, I passed by the Qing Bar that I used to come to school often, after Shen Lin learned the piano, the first performance was here, and she shouted for half a month, "forced" me to watch her first performance, but I came halfway, so that she was so nervous that she played wrong, which caused a burst of boos on the scene, and she cried on the spot with a thin skin, which made everyone embarrassed and apologized.

It's so good, she cried freely at that time, not as indifferent and depressed as she is now.

I continued to run as hard as I could down the damp street, losing my umbrella, but I didn't dare to stop, and the hospital ended in the road...... It was as if I saw my own shadow, falling in the rain and stirring up by the neon lights of the street, stretching out from the clear bar into the distance, and then making me walk heavily, as if to stop me from leaving here, but I had to leave......

……

Outside the emergency department of the hospital, where Li Shi and I were standing, a trail of water had accumulated.

The rescue was still in progress, and I was afraid that Li Shi would get sick because of this, so I hurriedly persuaded Nian Ge to take her to the clothing store opposite the hospital to buy a set of clothes to change into.

Nian Ge borrowed an umbrella from the nurse and dragged Li Shi away, but Li Shi didn't seem to want me to leave her sight, for fear that I would do something stupid, so I made an OK gesture to her, signaling her to rest assured.

I was left alone at the door of the emergency room again, the nurses came in and out, but they didn't bring me a word, and Shen Lin, who was emaciated, was lying on the cold operating table, playing with death.

Actually, I didn't know her well enough in the past, she should have been the most free and easy woman in the world, but she gave me her best years, and I didn't do many things well, or even made a big mistake.

For example, I made her a pair with the devil with my own hands; Because he was afraid of hurting her, he didn't love her but never made it clear to her directly......

At this moment, I am even ashamed to feel wronged for her, feel injustice for her, she should not have met me, and our fate should not be entangled because of a guitar.

Half an hour later, Li Shi reappeared in my sight, she had changed into clean clothes, and she was carrying a box of hot porridge and a handbag.

"The car has already driven over, the garage is full, the chanting skills are good, I helped stop on the side of the road, bought you a set of clothes, you went to change your clothes, and ate the porridge while it was hot, I am watching here, and I will tell you immediately if there is news."

My fingers trembled slightly, I took the handbag, forced my composure, and finally said to her, "Thank you for helping me share all this, otherwise I really wouldn't have been able to cope with it." ”

Li Shi raised her head, then closed her eyes, and whispered to me: "Don't talk about this yet, I called my cousin, he and Shuma decided to end their trip to Tibet early and come back by plane tomorrow morning. ”

I gasped violently, my heart could hardly bear the emotional fluctuations, and for a long, long time, I finally gathered the strength to ask her, "Do you think everything will be okay?" ”

"Yes, definitely." Li Shi comforted me like a child.

I was in even more pain, remembering a terrible experience again, hiding my face with my hands, finally raising my head after a moment, and walking towards the emergency room.

……

I found the car, I stood where I was, and it took a long time to walk to the parking space, and Nian Ge handed me the key, and trotted into the hospital with an umbrella, she was also digesting her emotions.

Entering the car, I closed my eyes, leaned on the back of the chair and changed my clothes a little weakly, and when I opened my eyes again, the world suddenly became slow, between the walking of the crowd, I seemed to pass through the neon of the city, looking at the passing vehicles in the fall, like a lonely stray dog, waiting for the turning wheels to stop for me for a moment, but except for the howling wind, and the occasional sweeping rain, in my senses, the whole world was only flickering and flickering, and I was completely desperate, desperate.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the car window, and when I opened my eyes, I found that it was Lin Ke standing outside the car window, and he shook the plastic bag full of beer in his hand, intending to drink a few bottles with me.

Lin Ke opened the car door and said, "We are just like waiting for Shen Lin to come to the performance, waiting for her to come while drinking!" ”

I need wine more than porridge now, but I don't know what force prompted me to pick up the porridge first, drink it clean, and then tear open a can of beer and touch one with Linko.

I drank half a bottle in one gulp before I stopped, and asked Lin Ke, "Did Li Shi call you here?" ”

Lin Ke was silent for a long time and then shook his head, but he didn't explain why he wasn't optimistic, and he didn't actually need to explain, if he said that he wasn't really seeing a ghost, at least at this moment I couldn't think of a way to use alcohol to kill my sorrows.

Closing my eyes, I drank the remaining beer in the bottle as if venting, and the cold liquor continued to flow into my stomach, and I was once again in the depression, experiencing the pleasure of mutation, and temporarily forgetting the difference between life and death.

Bottle after bottle, Lin Ke and I were silent, drunk in sorrow, and in heavy breathing, we muttered the words "please live" over and over again, and when evening came, the whole city seemed to be squeezed into a ball, full of stiff walls and distorted light.

I leaned back in the chair of the car, closed my eyes, and ran away from all that place, praying for the coming of life......