I smiled and shook my head, touched her long hair dotingly, motioned for her to take the fireworks stick, and helped her light it with the cigarette butt one after another.

In the snow, the faint fireworks turned the wilderness into a world composed of light and shadow, although the fireworks were not grand, but still lively, Li Shi and I laughed and made noise, and finally, her only few fireworks were planted on the ground, I helped her light them one by one, she really closed her eyes and prayed with a longing face.

Looking at her pious appearance, I could not help but be moved by the image of us doing many things that were previously difficult to decide in the snow-covered northwestern wilderness for months.

I closed my eyes to recuperate, but I didn't like the darkness and loneliness of closing my eyes for a moment, and when I opened my eyes secretly, I found that Li Shi was also looking at me secretly with one eye open.

I pushed Li Shi and asked, "Why are you peeking with your eyes open when you make a wish?" ”

Li Shi winked at me playfully, and replied with a longing expression, "Because ...... There is a lack of a male protagonist in my wish......"

"I haven't even done a trick before, and when I suddenly become the leading actor, I'm afraid that I won't be able to do it and make the director angry."

Li Shi didn't know when she grabbed my arm and snuggled into my arms, while I indulged in her rare tenderness and was in a trance.

"It's better than a play." Li Shi said softly, leaning into my arms again.

In the cold wilderness, we relied on each other for this warmth, and we also hugged Li Shi tightly, the faint smell of perfume on her body between breaths, with the coolness of the night was sucked into my lungs, and there was a blur in the short lucidity.

"If you don't come back this time, will you?"

"Yu Hang, how do you think a person can live freely?"

"Now is a society governed by the rule of law, who can restrict your freedom, as long as you are not shackled, you can live according to your own ideas."

A warm tear fell on my hand, Li Shi hugged me tighter, choked up and said to me: "Yu Hang, these days abroad, I have been thinking about whether to come back, I want to solve the grievances of the previous generation through my own efforts, but I find myself too naïve, if I have to choose again, I would rather not return to China, then I will not meet you, let alone break the peace that belongs to everyone, and finally make Gou lose the company, and I will get nothing......"

Li Shi's words made me a little frightened, I was speechless to comfort, I just wiped the tears from her face with my hand, I couldn't do anything for her except to lend her body to rely on.

The cold wind that had been blowing finally became a little lesser, and Li Shi left my body, and then I looked at her and asked, "I hope you can tell me whether you and Mr. Gou are the relationship that everyone guesses?" ”

Li Shi looked at me, there was no change in her expression, it seemed that what was going to happen this night had been within her expectations, and finally nodded and said, "Since you have asked so many times, I will tell you a story!" ”

I nodded.

"The story is ridiculous, a girl with an unhappy family, in order to avoid her family, fled to Xi'an to go to university. She has probably lost the ability to love, drinking heavily in college, going to nightclubs, skipping classes, smoking, sugar daddy, and going in and out of taverns and inns with a cynical appearance that doesn't care about anything. Someone once asked her why she was so desperate, and she just said in a dashing way: That's what she wants to show the world......"

"And then?"

"It didn't take long for her to meet a young man who was doing business in Xi'an, and compared to now, he was still very thin, young but like a bad old man, thin, yellow teeth, bald, with a fishy smell of animal fur that could not be washed off, and his skin drooped on the few muscles, which was disgusting to look at."

I wondered, "Would a woman choose him over the disgust of the world?" ”

Of course, she hated him, but he was generous and willing to support her. She hated him, but she liked it too. Let him spoil himself, he seems to be a handy tool, and that disgust will highlight her advantages even more: a high-achieving student at a key university in Xi'an, young, beautiful, with thick black hair wrapped around her graceful body, walking on the street, every young man who shouted rock and roll and bohemian at that time couldn't help but look at her. ”

"The woman in the story ended up with him because of money?"

She spent his money recklessly, humiliated his rotten and stinking in bed, forced him to kneel down in the street next to the Xi'an bar: let him make a fool of the handsome young people who came and went, hugged his bald head and said that he really couldn't leave her, begged her, begged her not to break up with her, she could give her as much money as she wanted, and he was willing to spend all his money on her. In the four years of college, she has played this trick countless times, and every time he is willing to kneel and beg her to go home, don't mess around outside, whether it's two in the morning or four in the morning. ”

"I'm afraid this kind of sick emotional outlook hurts more than one person!"

Li Shi protected his chest, swallowing saliva with difficulty, I simply chose to shut up, at this time my thinking was too active, it was difficult to control the words without bringing out the word "love", and the person who was injured, as long as he heard this word, was in pain.

"She didn't want to make her better, and she didn't want him to get better. Pervert, who made you covet my young flesh? You deserve it! She poured out all her hatred and anger on him, and he took it all, and he wept bitterly and said, "No matter how you scold me, I love you." You are so young and beautiful, you are so smart and smart, I deserve to be tortured by you, because I am not worthy of ...... Of course, she also cried, crying about her terrible family and unbearable fate. ”

"So the woman finally chose to end the relationship?"

"No, the cold wind in Xi'an, winter is like a knife, the southern woman in the story finally misses the sea breeze in Fujian, she forced herself to see through, and the eyes of him finally gradually changed, at least in her senior year, she stopped messing around in winter, because the man's knee was sick, and he was so sick that he couldn't kneel at all. In the end, they went to live in Fujian, she was pregnant, but the man's business was getting worse and worse, he couldn't fight the new young man in physical and mental strength after all, he said: We don't match the age, don't give birth to the child, I don't want you to suffer in the future, I will give you a sum of money, enough for your future life, you leave me, you deserve to find a better person......"

Speaking of which, Li Shi paused, and we fell into silence like this, but what we experienced was the helplessness of living, although the people in the story slept together, they would not really live together, because the two people walked different paths, and one day they would not see each other in the parting ways.

I have already guessed who the man in the story is, and I also know that Li Shi and Lao Gou are secretive about this past, and their hearts are even heavier, if such a past is a scar, at this moment this scar has been torn apart with flesh and blood, I am a little panicked, for fear that Li Shi will be hurt by the act of rushing to verify.

Li Shi smiled bitterly and said: "After the man left, the woman finally gave birth to a child firmly, a girl, but she was very tired of the product of this unpleasant love, and said that she was born just to remind herself of that humiliating and decadent life...... Having said that, she went back to live in the place where she lived for more than ten years, and the man was still reluctant to intervene in life until last year, when the girl found him, he smiled and said: It's good that it's not like me, it's not like me......"

"He's always been so stubborn, and he hasn't changed in so many years."

"In terms of appearance, you and Lao Gou really can't get along, the first time I think you are like a father and daughter, it's also because of your stubborn temper."

"Mr. Gou is not having a good time, and the woman who has indulged her youth with her has not let go of herself, she is still suffering, but she has never been willing to admit this relationship......"

The night was bottomless, only one courtyard in the wilderness was still lit, and Li Shi was still curled up in my arms, and we all seemed to be insecure.

The fireworks in the distance burst into the air and went out, faintly emitting light in the distance, and the surroundings were quiet enough to hear Li Shi's breathing, sometimes faint, sometimes heavy, at this time she was suffering from the double torment of spirit and reality, but she didn't want to cry anymore, what a stubborn woman!