Zhong Siyuan didn't stop me, but a sad expression appeared on her face, the corners of her mouth drooped slightly, looking very bitter, and her frowning brows were slightly sad, because of the loss in her heart.

I still heard what she just said, I want not to always do this to her, she cares about me very much, but I can't bear it, I always abandon her, she said if I don't have the courage to love her, don't do such a thing to her again, although she wants to, but her heart will be very painful, painful and painful, painful and insensitive.

I was stunned and froze in place, I thought that it would go on like this, as if I was obsessed, doing what I wanted to do, and repeatedly in the case of regret, I wanted to get the lost person, but after thinking about it carefully, I lost not only Zhong Siyuan's person, but also lost her heart.

I smiled wryly and nodded and let go of the hand that grabbed Zhong Siyuan's belt, her delicate little white belt, I wanted to break free so much, but the restraint, the restraint was Zhong Siyuan's clean body and that fragile heart, she was willing to let me touch, but I couldn't stand it and abandon her again.

I looked at Zhong Siyuan seriously, and plucked up the courage to say sorry to her, I knew that I had hurt her, and it was very deep, judging from her willingness to comfort me and kiss me, she has always loved me deeply, but I have no way to accept her, so she is not willing to go to me with the only self-esteem, especially now that I am living a good life.

Perhaps she had the courage to come to me when I was destitute, for she felt that it would help me, so I sat on the bed, fumbled for my clothes on the bedside table, took a cigarette out of my pocket, lit it on the fire, and smoked one.

Zhong Siyuan sat on the bed, a little stunned, her appearance regained her calm, when she looked at me, she was more like a lover who had been separated for a long time, and she didn't understand what her boyfriend did, I plucked my ears with my hands, pouted my mouth and asked her, is there anyone I like.

Zhong Siyuan shook her head, she said that she wouldn't love anymore, and she didn't know what love was, she might not be able to hold so many feelings in her heart, only a numb heart remained, and there was hard work to change, I hope that one day, when she can be excellent and stand by my side, she will not embarrass me, she cares more about her past.

Especially many people have said that she is a woman in a nightclub, and the insult to her makes her very uncomfortable, yes, a nightclub woman, after all, is a bad word, although now society has progressed, and it has developed rapidly, many such women have appeared, but everyone is still more disgusted with that woman in their hearts.

Zhong Siyuan belongs to a few exceptions, she is a gambler father, she has no choice but to do things, I understand her, but few people will be willing to understand a woman like her.

I told Zhong Siyuan seriously, she didn't understand the original situation, the situation was forced, she stayed by my side, it would only be more dangerous, I explained it to her well, she said it was understandable, but the reason why she didn't have the courage to stay was not because she didn't love me, but because she felt that she didn't deserve me.

The two of us stopped at this threshold that there was no way to cross, she felt that it was her fault, she had her own understanding, I had my own ideas, it was difficult for the two of us to integrate with each other, it was too long, and there were a lot of things that had been accumulated.

I got out of bed, walked to the cabinet, picked up the clothes, put them on my body, and Zhong Siyuan folded the quilt. Instinctively, she walked up to me and helped me arrange my clothes, she was as gentle and virtuous as a wife taking care of her husband.

After I put on the clothes, I saw Zhong Siyuan in front of me again, this time I felt much better, I felt that the feeling of wanting to get her was suppressed by me, what I should do is not to have a relationship with her, but to love her harder, to make up for the mistakes I have made, that is the original intention.

I grabbed Zhong Siyuan's hand and told her with a smile, in fact, I have always missed her, the previous things have passed, and it seems useless to talk too much, I hope she can start new with me, we can't become lovers when we work together, we can also become friends, and her friend is very important to me.

Zhong Siyuan nodded and agreed with a smile, she really hoped that she and I could resolve the knot, I proposed to go shopping outside with her, and she agreed, but she wanted me to wear a hat, because it had snowed outside and the weather was cold.

It seems that I have calculated that I will go out before, Zhong Siyuan ran to the living room to help me find a hat and put it on my head, Xia Dongxue, who was sitting in the living room watching TV, looked in a good mood, and Lin Yufang on the side was busy with data analysis in the computer.

Zhong Siyuan called Lin Yufang a mother, and then said to her and Xia Dongxue, I was surprised, I didn't expect Siyuan to be able to accept Lin Yufang as a woman and call her mother at the same time.

After we came down from the upstairs, it was indeed very cold outside, but we were wrapped more tightly, so it was acceptable, I took the initiative to grab Zhong Siyuan's hand and took her to the place where we lived before, Zhong Siyuan didn't ask me why I brought her here, she also followed me, and planned to take out the key from her pocket.

I opened the door with the things I often use, and the moment I opened the door, my heart tingled slightly, because this thing was taught to me by Baoqiang, he told me how to open the door, how to get along with people in society, and he could be said to be my life mentor at the earliest.

But later, he and I became two extremes, he embarked on a path that belonged to him, and I embarked on my own path, and in the end, in order to be safe, I killed him directly in order not to live so tired.

Destroying others to fulfill themselves, treating him as a stepping stone, or a thorn in the eye, in short, I did it, I have no way to deny it, seeing me at the door, Zhong Siyuan didn't call me, she just stood in place with me, as if when she was with me, even if there was no direction, she was not worried.

When I came back to my senses, more than ten minutes had passed, Zhong Siyuan was looking at the yard with a smile in a daze, it was a courtyard we were familiar with, and I also thought of how happy I was when I found such a house for the first time, and Zhong Siyuan and I were at home at that time.

I patted Zhong Siyuan on the shoulder, she smiled awkwardly, explained to me a little distracted, I smiled and said it was okay, I took her hand and walked into the yard, when we turned on the light, we found that the dirt next to the yard was overgrown with weeds, many places in the yard were cobwebs, and the room was relatively dirty, obviously there was no one living for a long time, but fortunately there was electricity here, and it could also give us lighting.

Zhong Siyuan smiled and pointed to the house we rented before, she said that the place is still there, she wants to go over and take a look, I grabbed her hand and took her upstairs together, this time I didn't open the door, but let her use it if it is opened, she has been keeping the key, because it is very bright on it, it should be the reason why it is often taken out, she still misses this place.

When the door opened, everything inside had not changed, and to my surprise, it was so clean inside, the refrigerator was very clean, the floor was clean, the bed and quilt and the sheets and tables that had been used before, and the sofa were all my memories.

I feel like I'm going back to the past, as if I've suddenly gone back to a few years ago, the days when I lived with Zhong Siyuan, and that kind of behavior later made me feel a little panicked, I never wanted to have so much money and status, and I never lost what I cherished the most.

Baoqiang, and the Siyuan I love, including Zhao Yun, who has some feelings for me, these people seem to be out of place with me, I sit on the sofa and grab my hair, grasping hard, I am thinking about what I have been doing all these years, what am I living for, what is the meaning of my life, what have I gained, what has I done, and whether I am right or wrong to do this.