I don't give up hope.

Just when I thought I was going to go on like this, I met someone.

He is the son of the helper, this is what the senior brother said. As for me, I didn't see the favor of the helper for him.

On the contrary, the gang leader was always harsh and cold to him. I always thought he was a disciple that the helper didn't like.

That day, I remember, was when it was warm and cold.

He was punished to kneel, and I was punished to kneel.

It's because I haven't practiced new moves. As for him, when I asked later, he never said anything.

However, I slowly found out that his punishment was a common occurrence.

If you lose the competition, you will be punished, if you learn the moves slowly, you will be punished, and if you don't make much progress, you will also be punished. At every turn, you have to kneel and be beaten.

Moreover, the content of his daily practice is almost three times that of other disciples, and I always feel that he is in a state of extreme every day, and maybe a gust of wind will completely collapse him.

"Helper, is that your father?" That day, I saw him kneeling in the courtyard again, and I couldn't help but put down the unfinished wood and sneaked to his side.

He nodded, not at all angry, and smiled at me.

It was the first time that a person, except my brother, had smiled at me.

"You, you look so good when you smile, just like my brother!" I say.

He smiled again, "You look like my sister too." ”

That day, I found out that he also had a younger sister.

His name is Chongyuan. His sister's name is Chongyun.

When he saw that the time had come, he went to the firewood room to help me catch mice. He taught me where the rat poison was and how to chop wood faster.

He said that his mother died when she gave birth to her sister, and her sister has always been carried by the nurse, and he can't see her sister.

He said that his sister never cried, just like me.

That was the first time I lied, and I said, I never cried. Soon, my heart was empty, but he didn't seem to notice the dodge in my eyes.

He misses his sister, he misses his brother, as if everything was meant to be.

"I'm hungry," I said, and I wasn't hungry, but when I thought of my brother, I always reflexively said I was hungry.

He thought about it very seriously and told me to wait a while.

After a while, he actually came back with the nest head, which I didn't expect at all.

With him, I don't want my father and mother anymore, and I don't want my brother anymore. Maybe I'm really heartless, but I really don't want to.

"Can I see you again tomorrow?"

He nodded very firmly.

That year, I had just passed my fourth birthday, and he was less than six years old, not as old as my brother.

I'm just a junior disciple, and I'm not qualified to practice with them.

I live in the outer courtyard, and he lives in the inner courtyard, and I don't usually have the opportunity to see each other.

I was amazed at how confident he was, and I would see you again the next day.

Of course, I understood it the next day.

At the same hour as yesterday, he knelt in that place again.

Little did I know at the time that he had been fined again for stealing from the kitchen.

I was just happy and even wished he was punished every day.

Seeing him every day, getting stronger, and practicing with him became my biggest goal at that time.

"I want to be strong." I say.

"I can teach you." He has the appearance of a young man, and he seems to have the calmness of an adult.

That day, I learned that the helper didn't care about him very often.

It turned out that it had always been him punishing himself.

I didn't understand it then, and when I did, it didn't matter anymore.

He wanted to work hard, to please the helper with his efforts. But the saddest thing is probably that no matter how hard he tries, the helper doesn't seem to care.

It's an endless loop.

The less the helper cares, the harder he tries. The harder he tried, the more he could find that the helper didn't care.

At that time, I was just happy that from that day on, he would really come and teach me to practice every night.

He's really powerful, even though he's only less than two years older than me, but I know very well that those teenage brothers can't beat him.

With him teaching me, in just one year, I really left the outer courtyard, not only did I not have to carry water and firewood, but I finally had the qualifications to practice with him.

Everyone calls him the young helper, but I only call him Chongyuan.

I always felt that I would be his preference. He doesn't blame me for being too big or too small, and I like to get away with him.

If time could stop at this moment, then I would definitely feel like a very happy person.

But in fact, the inner courtyard, which I have always targeted, is the real nightmare.

The devastating practice has brought me to the limit several times, and I can only practice the moves I can't practice at night.

I want to be around him, and I can't let others see my jokes.

It's strange that no one taught me this, but I can understand it.

I used to think it was a sign of my genius to be able to realize such a great truth.

However, it soon became clear to me. It's not my thing.

It was brought in the bones of Chongyuan, and it was imperceptibly nurtured to me.

I can feel myself that I am making rapid progress. At the very least, hard work pays off more or less.

However, God has never liked consummation.

The price of practicing at night is that I can't get up in the morning.

It's an endless loop again.

When I slept in the morning, I would fall behind with my homework. If you miss your homework, you have to practice harder at night. If you are caught by the gang leader, you will be punished. This way, I can't get up in the morning.

When I was caught by the helper for the third time, the helper punished me for running five miles with the iron ball, and I was so tired that I fainted on the way.

Don't think about it, he brought me back in the end.

Whether it's him or not, I think it's going to be him. Saying anything doesn't work.

That's what I think in my heart. Therefore, even though I knew that it was actually the helper who brought me back, I still remembered the good fortune on Chongyuan.

But what I didn't expect was that on time the next day, there was a knock on the door of my room.

I didn't expect that he would find out that I was secretly practicing at night, so he knew the reason why I always slept.

He came to wake me up, and this became my hope for a long time.

Because he came to wake me up every day, I began to look forward to the dawn of each day.

I want to work hard to be close to him, I want to be there for him.

I don't feel uncomfortable seeing him, I think about his name all the time, I think about what he said and did.

He's great at everything, I think.

I think he's good-looking, and he's very good at practicing, and I'm good at everything, and I like it all.

That kind of liking is different from the kind of liking for my brother, I know.

Later, I learned a word that I felt was more appropriate than like.

"Infatuation."

Yes, it's infatuation. I think I'm crushed with him.

In fact, the most common result of him waking me up is not that I don't get sleepy every day.

But...

The two of us were penalized together for being late.

I felt very guilty, but he always laughed it off, and came to my door early, as usual, and knocked on the old and mottled wooden door.

The senior brother in the inner courtyard is not the same as the outer courtyard.

The most obvious manifestation is that they always like to bully me, which is a big headache for me.

Some brothers always like to throw me into an empty water tank.

The tank was so much taller than I was, and it was so slippery that I couldn't jump out.

I was afraid of pain, I was afraid of injury, and I always didn't dare to push the water tank down.

In my anticipation, Shigeyuan will always find me gone, and then find me in countless identical tanks.

Although the result was that the two of us were beaten by the gang for skipping schoolwork, he never explained.

Then I won't explain it.

Perhaps, he doesn't like to explain, that means, he doesn't like to be verbose either.

I realized this truth.

After I found out that I was infatuated with him, I began to realize a lot of truths one after another.

For example, falling leaves and falling flowers can make me feel sad.

In my spare time, I began to read a lot of sad poems.

The just right lovesickness in those poems seems to be similar to my attachment to the relationship.

But it's not exactly the same.

I think my thoughts will be unique.

I have nothing but a heart to give him all.

I think so.

And, I don't think my heart is worth anything compared to him. It's not as good as a nest. But that's the only thing I have.

I think he's different for me.

The most obvious thing is the eyes.

Since ancient times, women have always had a sensitivity beyond ordinary people to this delicate emotion.

I can't tell what he looked in, but I felt that I was an important person to him, and that made me rejoice for a long, long time.

It's another winter, I've made great progress, and I'm going to take all the credit for it.

If it weren't for him, I would have known very well that I was still fetching water and firewood, and I still didn't know anything about the exercises.

I heard that the Hechu Gang has a lot of exercise cheats.

That's what Shigeyuan told me.

He said that in the future, I can choose the most suitable one for my practice, so that I don't have to suffer so much every day like those boys.

He said that the dagger is the fastest, and it is impossible to avoid it.

He said he hated daggers the most.

He said that the dagger was always to be hidden in the dark. He likes the scorching sun's masculine opening and closing, and he is bright and upright.

He said that he doesn't care about winning or losing, he wants to be upright and he wants to be ordinary.

He said he just wanted to protect the people around him and that's it.

He said that he hated those who relied on their high martial arts skills to disregard people's lives. People should be kind, and all people are the same.

He said that he didn't like people to die, and he liked family reunions.

That day, he said a lot, but that's all I can remember.

When he said that the family was reunited, I suddenly felt that he was not happy.

I think he misses his mom and dad and his sister a lot.

It's right in front of you, so why can't you see it?

I don't understand.