The heavy sound of gongs sounded mournfully in the snow-covered streets of the silent night. The two-seater sedan chair followed behind the gong, and the sedan chair man's footsteps went down very slowly, as if he was afraid that he would lose this ** partner if he chased the gong. But after walking two streets, the sound of the gong finally turned, and only the regretful aftersound that gradually disappeared was in the ears of the sedan chair driver, in the ears of the people in the sedan chair.

Zhang Sheng, a servant in his forties, carried a lantern in front of him to guide the two sedan chairs. He shrugged his head and shrugged his shoulders, as if he couldn't stand the cold. He let out a short cough or two occasionally, breaking the somewhat frightening silence.

The palanquin bearers did not speak, silently lifted the burden on their shoulders, and strode without paying much attention. Although the cold snow stung their bare feet in straw sandals, they were used to the environment. They walked, calmly and regularly, sometimes changing shoulders or putting down a hand to breathe hot air in their mouths. The hot blood gradually circulated through their bodies, and their backs even sweated, and they began to wet the old thin cotton jackets they were wearing.

Qin's mother, Mrs. Zhang, sat in a sedan chair in front of her, she was only forty-three years old, but her body had already shown signs of aging. She rubbed 12 laps of mahjong and felt very tired. She sat in a sedan chair, drowsy, and didn't think of anything; The wind sometimes blows the sedan curtain, and she doesn't feel it.

Jean, in contrast to her mother, was extremely excited. She thought about the first event of her life that was about to happen. That great event was placed in front of her like a lovely thing, and it was dazzling. She decided to take it, but she knew that her hand would be blocked if she reached out, and she wasn't sure if she could get it. She decided to take it, and even though she did, she still had a little fear of failure. So she's still a little timid, she's still afraid to reach out. So complex thoughts came to her mind, making her sometimes happy and sometimes melancholy. She doesn't notice everything around her. She indulged in her own thoughts until the sedan chair entered the door and was placed in the hall.

As usual, she followed her mother inside, first went to her mother's room, saw the maid sister-in-law Li waiting for her mother to change her clothes, and folded the new clothes for her mother and put them in the closet.

"I don't know how, I'm going to be so tired today," said Mrs. Zhang, who had changed into an old lake crepe leather jacket and collapsed on a wicker chair in front of the bed, with a sigh.

"Mom, you've played too many cards today," Jean said as she sat down on a chair next to the table and looked at her mother, who was sitting diagonally across from her, with a smile. "Originally, it took too much effort to play cards, and you still played twelve rounds."

"You always blame me for playing cards. Don't you know, at my age, what can I do if I don't play cards? Mrs. Zhang said with a smile. Otherwise, it's like your mother-in-law chanting sutras all day long. But I couldn't. ”

"I'm not telling my mom not to play cards, I'm just saying that playing cards takes a lot of energy," Jean argued.

"I know that, too," Mrs. Zhang said kindly. She suddenly noticed that Sister-in-law Li was still standing listlessly in front of the wardrobe with her head down, so she said to her, "Sister-in-law Li, go to sleep, it's okay." Sister-in-law Li answered, and was about to turn around and walk out, when Mrs. Zhang asked again: "Is the tea simmering?" ”

"Yes, simmer on the 'Five Watch Chickens' [note 1]," Sister-in-law Li replied, and walked outside.

Mrs. Zhang continued: "What did you say? - Ah, you said that the cards are played too much. I know that, too. However, my spirit is not costly, but also cost. I have nothing to do for a day, and it's not interesting to live like this for a long time, and if I live too long, it's annoying. When she had said this, she closed her eyes and folded her hands over her breast, as if she were about to fall asleep.

The room was eerily quiet, except for the ticking of the pendulum.

Jean had something important to say to her mother, but when she saw her mother close her eyes and knew that there was no chance to speak tonight, she stood up and tried to wake her up and go to bed so that she would not catch a cold. As soon as she stood up, Mrs. Zhang opened her eyes, looked at her and said:

"Pour me a cup of tea."

Qin answered, walked to the coffee table, took a teacup, took down the teapot simmering on the "five watch chickens", poured a cup of tea, sent it to his mother, put it on a low stool next to him, and said, "Mom, the tea is here." But she did not go away, and stood beside her mother, looking at her mother excitedly. She felt that the opportunity had come, but she was still a little timid, and when the words came to her mouth, she took them back.

"Qin'er, you're tired today, you should go to sleep too," said the mother gently, picking up the teacup from the low stool and taking two sips in succession.

"Mom," Jean didn't walk away, but called affectionately.

"What's the matter?" Mrs. Zhang looked up at the piano.

"Mom," Qin called again, while lowering her head and playing with the corners of her clothes, she said slowly: "The second cousin said that their school will recruit girls next semester, and I want to apply for the exam." ”

"What are you talking about, the men's school accepts female students! Do you still want to apply? Mrs. Zhang was taken aback, suspecting that she had misheard, so she asked in surprise.

"Yes," Jean replied in a low voice, then explained, "not surprising. The famous Peking University has accepted three female students, and there are also schools in Nanjing and Shanghai that implement male and female students. ”

"The world doesn't know what it's going to become! It's not enough to have a girls' school, and it's making trouble with male and female classmates! Mrs. Zhang said with a sigh. When we used to be girls, we never imagined that we would have such fame! ”

These words poured on Qin's body like a scoop of cold water, and she felt cold all over. She was silent. But she was not yet completely despaired, and her courage gradually regained, and she said the following:

"Mom, the times are different now, and it has been more than 20 years since then! The world is changing day by day. Men and women are the same people, so why can't I go to the same school as male students? ……”

She was about to go on, but her mother stopped her. Mrs. Zhang smiled and said, "I don't reason with you." I can't talk about you, you have been in the academy for the past few years, and you will naturally speak. You're going to find a big truth out of your new book to refute me, and I know you're going to call me an old corrupt. ”

Jean also smiled, but she begged again, "Mom, promise me." You've always believed in me. You've never failed to promise me anything! ”

Mrs. Zhang was a little soft-hearted, and she replied, "It is because of this that I have suffered a lot of idleness. But I'm not afraid of gossip. I believe in you very much. …… But this matter is too big, your mother-in-law will be the first to object, and relatives will gossip. ”

"Mom, didn't you say all the gossip and you weren't afraid?" Jean said warmly. "My mother-in-law lives in a nunnery, and it is rare for her to go home for two or three days a month. I haven't even come back once in the past few months. It doesn't matter what she says! Since she doesn't care about family affairs on weekdays, as long as you make up your mind, like in the past, I was allowed to join a female teacher, and my relatives have no reason to object. They gossip, but we don't hear them. ”

Mrs. Zhang was silent for a while, and then said dejectedly: "I used to be very bold, but now that I am old, I don't want to listen to the gossip of my relatives anymore. I would love to live quietly for a few more years, and I don't want to make any more trouble. You see, I'm not a mother who doesn't care about her children in the slightest. Your father died too young, leaving you with a daughter, and the responsibility is on my shoulders. I didn't want you to tie your feet, and when I was a kid, I let you go to your grandfather's house to study with your cousins. Later, you were going to enter the academy, and I sent you to the academy again. You see that your fifth aunt's fourth cousin's feet are very small, and she doesn't even know a few words. It's your aunt's third cousin, and she stopped studying for a long time! I'm finally worthy of you. She wanted to continue, but the fatigue of her body made her stop. She looked at Qin silently, and when she saw Qin's desperate expression that she was almost crying, she felt unbearable, so she said gently, "Qin'er, go to sleep." Fortunately, it's still early, it's next fall, and we'll talk about it later. I'll always figure it out for you. ”

Jean said yes in a sad voice, and walked out disappointed, walking through the small hall back to her room. She was disappointed, but instead of complaining about her mother, she was grateful that she had been very considerate of her.

The room was desolate, as if hope had flown away completely, and even the face of her father hanging on the wall began to cry to her. She felt like her eyes were wet. She untied her skirt and laid it on the bed, then walked to the desk, removed the wick from the tin lamp on the table, and sat down on the square stool in front of the desk. The lights suddenly turned on, and the three big characters "New Youth" on the desk came into her eyes. She flipped through a few pages of the magazine and stumbled upon the following sentences: "...... I think the most important thing is that I am a human being, just like you...... Or at least I'm going to try to be a human being. …… I can't believe what most people say. …… Everything should be thought of by myself and solved by myself. ......"It turned out that she was turning to Ibsen's play "Nora".

These words became a revelation to her, and her eyes suddenly brightened. She understands that she is not desperate for her affairs, and whether she can succeed or not depends on her own efforts. In short, there is still hope, hope is in oneself, not in others. When she thought of this, she felt that all the despair and sorrow had disappeared at once, and she happily picked up her pen and wrote the following short message:

Sister Qianru:

Today, my cousin told me that the 'Foreign Academy' has decided to recruit girls next fall. I decided to apply in the future. What do you mean? Are you really going with me? I hope you don't have any worries. No matter what, we must resolutely fight to open up a new path for the sisters who come after us and create happiness for them.

Please come to my house to play when you have time, and I have something to talk to you about. Your mother also welcomes you.

Yunhua. ××

She wrote the letter, read it herself, and dated it, adding new punctuation. Although her mother said that vernacular letters were "much longer than the literary language, and they were unbearable", she had recently liked to write vernacular letters, and she wrote them neatly, even distinguishing the use of the words "bottom" and "earth". In order to learn how to write vernacular letters, she once carefully studied the correspondence column of the magazine "New Youth".

[Note 1] Five-watch chicken: A bamboo-woven lampshade for making tea, with an oil pot inside.