The clashes between students and military personnel gradually subsided. Students from other counties left the provincial capital to go home for the old calendar year. Among the students in the provincial capital, there are also some who are busy reviewing their homework and preparing for next year's make-up exam. The extension of the strike is tantamount to a winter break, and the school authorities are preparing for the end of the semester and the old calendar year. As a result of this campaign, the students were ostensibly victorious.

Juemin still goes to his aunt's house every night to teach him how to play the piano and read English. Juehui is still locked up at home and reading the newspaper. There are many, many things that Juehui doesn't want to know in the newspaper, but the records about ** are gradually decreasing, so that there are no more. So Juehui didn't even look at the newspaper.

"This kind of life is like being a prisoner in a prison!" Jue Hui often uttered such curses. Sometimes he was so upset that he didn't even want to see anyone in the house. What particularly disturbed him was that Ming Feng seemed to be deliberately avoiding him. He rarely had the opportunity to talk alone with her.

As usual, he went to his grandfather's room in the morning and evening to say goodbye, so he had to look at his grandfather's tired dark yellow face and Aunt Chen's red and white pink face. There are also many expressionless, smiling faces, which he often sees at home. Sometimes he couldn't bear it anymore, so he said indignantly, "Wait, one day you will ......." What will happen one day? He didn't know much about it himself. But he believed that one day everything would be turned upside down, and that everything he hated would be completely wiped out. He also found old magazines such as "New Youth" and "New Trend" to read. When he read the article "Thoughts on the Old Family", he was very happy, as if he had taken revenge.

But the pleasure was only temporary, and when he left the book and walked out of the room, he saw everything he didn't want to see. He immediately felt lonely and walked back to his room bored. That's how his time was wasted.

Although Juemin and Juehui live in the same room, he has been busy with his own affairs for the past few days. He seldom stayed in his room when he was at home, and he took books to the garden all day long to read. He was also very concerned about Piano's homework. Juehui didn't bother him either.

"Lonely!" Jue Hui often sighed in his room that he was not happy to read new books and newspapers, which only made him feel more lonely. So he pulled out the diary, which had been set aside for a long time, and wrote some words on it. His life is as described in his diary:

×× morning, I went to greet my grandfather. He was talking to the fourth uncle in the study. He asked the fourth uncle to write a birthday screen to send to his old friend Feng Leshan to celebrate Feng Leshan's sixtieth birthday. The fourth uncle only responded. When the fourth uncle was gone, my grandfather's tired dull yellow face showed a little smile, and he handed me a thread-bound book, and said, 'You can take it and read it carefully.' I said yes, and was about to walk out, when the fifth uncle came again, and my grandfather told me to stop. The fifth uncle handed over the poem he had recently written to his grandfather and asked him to correct it. My grandfather took the thread-bound notebook, turned a few pages, praised a few words, looked at me again, and said, 'You should also learn from your fifth father's example, and learn to write poems and essays at home.' I was afraid that he would say more, so I quickly said a few 'yes' and slipped out. When I walked through the door next door and saw Aunt Chen combing her hair in the room, I turned around and left. I went back to my room and felt much happier. For some reason, it seemed to me that my grandfather's room was similar to the yamen. My grandfather told me to learn from my fifth uncle, and I would never learn from him. I always felt that Uncle Fifth was a hypocrite. He lied to his grandfather alone.

My grandfather just gave me a thread-bound book, and when I read the title of the white paper note on the cover: "Mr. Liu Zhitang Teaches Filial Piety and Prohibition of Prostitution", I felt a headache, so I didn't even want to read it, so I threw the book on the table and went for a walk in the garden alone.

In Merlin, I saw my sister-in-law folding flowers with Hai'er, who was less than four years old. When I saw her kind and plump face, and her big flexible and kind eyes, I felt good in my heart, and said, 'Sister-in-law, you are so early! If you want plum blossoms, shout the phoenix to fold it, why do you need to do it yourself? She broke off a branch from the tree, looked at me and smiled, and said, 'Your eldest brother likes plum blossoms, and you didn't pay attention to how many bottles of plum blossoms he had in his room?' …… I often fold it for him. I'm afraid that Mingfeng's selection will not be satisfactory, so I always fold it myself. She said this, and asked Hai'er to greet me. Hai'er is very smart and willing to listen to adults, and we all like him. Then I remembered something else. I said, 'It turns out that my eldest brother loves plum blossoms.' But the sister-in-law continued: 'I also painted a plum blossom eaves a few days ago, and you must have seen it.' I saw a thin red cloud on her face, followed by a very gentle smile, and two dimples on her cheeks. When she said the word 'he', her voice contained infinite warmth. I know she loves her big brother very much. But my heart began to feel gloomy. I think if she knew why her eldest brother loved plum blossoms so much, and what plum blossoms meant in her eldest brother's mind, then she didn't know how sad she would be.

'Third brother, you don't seem to be happy. I know you've been miserable these days. They shut you up at home and don't want you to go out. But now grandpa's anger may have long since disappeared. In two or three days you'll be out there. You have to relax your heart a little. I'm always depressed, I'm afraid I'll get sick. She comforted me kindly. I thought to myself, 'This is for you, you don't know that the eldest brother you love is also in love with another woman!' But looking at her calm and sympathetic countenance, I did not dare to say such a thing.

'I'm going back, and I'm going to boil eggs for your eldest brother.' The sister-in-law took the plum blossom and led Hai'er away with one hand. She smiled and turned back to me and said, 'Come and play chess in my room later, I know you're bored at home all day.' I agreed, and I stared at her back. I think I like her a lot. I don't think it's any harm to my eldest brother, because I love her as if she were my eldest sister. But I'm embarrassed to say it to anyone, even to my second brother, who trusted me very much in the past.

The second brother has been very fond of Sister Qin recently, and he has already told me. But listening to his conversation, he didn't seem to have expressed it to Sister Qin yet. He's been getting weirder lately. His heart was not at home at all. He went to his aunt's house very early every day and didn't even come back for dinner. I'm a little worried about him. His actions will one day be noticed by those who are so gossipy. There will be ......

When he talked to me recently, he always talked about Sister Qin, and he listened to his tone as if Sister Qin was owned by him alone. It doesn't have to be a problem. He didn't care about this ** at all, it seemed that there was only one Sister Qin in his world. I think he's so happy that he's going to fail in the future. But I don't want him to fail in the future.

I paced in Merlin for a long time, and my second brother came to talk to me about something. He went, and I kept it until Mingfeng came to call me for dinner.

Mingfeng seems to be deliberately avoiding me these days, and I don't know why. Today, for example, she saw me from afar, called out and turned away. Or did I catch up with her and ask, 'Why are you avoiding me?' She just couldn't stop. A pair of eyes looked at me timidly, and the eyes were very gentle. She buried her head and whispered, 'I'm scared...... I'm afraid my wife will know. I was so touched that I put her head up, shook her head with a smile and said, 'Don't be afraid, it's not something to be ashamed of.' Love is pure. I let her go, and I understand now.

After dinner, I went back to my room and opened my second brother's newly bought English book "Resurrection" and read dozens of pages. I was suddenly scared. I can't read any more. I'm afraid that this book will become a portrayal of me in the future, even though I am so far from the environment of the protagonist Reichriudfu. I've been fantasizing a lot lately, and I've often wondered what the outcome of a family like ours would be.

Lonely! Our family is like a desert, and it's like a 'narrow cage'. What I need is activity, what I need is life. We couldn't find even one in our house to talk to. I sat down, and the book "Mr. Liu Zhitang Teaches Filial Piety and Prohibition of Prostitution" that my grandfather gave me was still on the table. I took it in my hand and flipped through a few pages. The whole story is just to teach people how to be a slave. It is always said that there are always old sayings such as 'the king wants his ministers to die, not to die and be disloyal, the father wants the son to die, not to die and not to be filial' and 'all evil and fornication are the first, and all good and filial piety are the first'. The more I looked at it, the more angry I became, and then I couldn't help but tear up this thin thread-bound book, and I wanted to tear off one of them, so that I could hurt a few fewer people.

But my heart was still uncomfortable, and it seemed that all kinds of unsatisfactory things had come to my heart. It's always so monotonous in the room, and it's always so dark outside the window. I wanted to fly out with wings, but the dark room shut me up. I collapsed on the bed and started to get up.

'Third brother, can you come and play chess?' My sister-in-law's voice came from the next room. 'Okay, I'll come. I answered her. Actually, I didn't want to play chess, but I knew that my sister-in-law's intention was nothing more than to relieve my boredom, and I couldn't bear to brush off her kindness, so I hesitated for a while, and finally passed. When I was playing chess, I was so attentive that I almost forgot everything. Although my sister-in-law played chess better than my eldest brother, she was not as good as me, so I won three games in a row. She still had a gentle smile and didn't look unhappy at all.

At this time, Sister-in-law He brought Hai'er in. My sister-in-law teased Hai'er and chatted with me. As I walked around the room, I noticed the plum blossom eaves.

'Sister-in-law, this eaves are very well painted,' I complimented. I don't know how to draw, but I like this painting, and I think it's better than the rest of her paintings.

'I can't draw it well, but I painted it with all my heart, because your brother has begged me several times. The sister-in-law said, with a satisfied smile on her face, and later she added: "Originally, I also loved plum blossoms." ’

Is it because the eldest brother loves plum blossoms? I asked with a smile, which was a joke for her.

My sister-in-law's face flushed slightly, and she said with a smile: "If I don't tell you now, you will naturally understand in the future." ’

'I understand, what do I understand?' I asked as if I didn't understand.

'You have a hard mouth now, and you will understand when you pick up your third brother and sister in the future.' ’

I didn't answer her, I turned around and looked away, and there were plum blossoms in the large porcelain vase on the square table and the small vase on the desk. The light red flowers seemed to sting my eyes, and another beautiful face with a sad expression gradually appeared in my mind. I want to say to my sister-in-law, 'Beware of this plum blossom dividing the love of the eldest brother.' But I didn't have the courage to say it.

I haven't painted anything for a long time, and in the past two or three years I've neglected everything I've learned because of taking care of Hai'er. Even people seem to have become vulgar,' the sister-in-law found the words, her eyes shining, and she seemed to be reminiscing about her past life.

I think she might be reminiscing about her rainbow-beautiful girlhood. I remember that when my sister-in-law first came to my house, it didn't change much from now, but now it's a little more generous, and she doesn't have the same shy posture as before.

Painting is meant to be based on interest, and when the mood is good, it is better to paint. Besides, my eldest brother asked you to draw it, so it's very good to draw it,' I said, turning the subject to something else, and I asked her, 'Sister-in-law, are you thinking about when you used to be at home?' ’

My sister-in-law nodded and said, 'Hmm,...... What happened back then, now I think about it, it really feels like a dream. When I was a girl at home, it was different than it is now. In addition to my older brother, I also have an older sister who is three years older than me. We learn painting and poetry in one place every day. My father was the magistrate of Guangyuan County at that time. We live in the yamen. My sister and I lived in a building with a dam and mulberry trees planted with the windows open. Early in the morning, magpies barked in the trees, waking us up early. As soon as the window was opened at night, the moonlight shone into the room. The night was quiet. My mother went to bed early. Our sisters always sleep well because of Aiyue. We often open the window, look at the moon at the same time, and talk at the same time, otherwise we will learn to compose poetry. Sometimes in the middle of the night, suddenly there was a sharp whistle from afar, and it turned out to be a clerk. Third brother, you know that at that time, the urgent letters and official documents were all sent by special messengers, and when you arrived at a post station, you had to change horses once, and there were other preparations, so you blew the whistle from afar and asked someone to prepare it for him earlier. This sound sounds very bleak in the middle of the night, and when we fall asleep, we will be awakened by it, so that we can no longer close our eyes at night. Later, my mother raised silkworms, and we helped her, and often late at night, we got up to get the lamp, and went downstairs to the silkworm house to see if the mulberry leaves were scarce. I was very young at the time, but I was about the same as an adult. Those days were really enjoyable. Soon after the Xinhai Revolution, my father resigned and returned to the provincial capital. We've grown up. Later, my father said that our sister's painting was okay, so he brought some fans from the fan village outside and asked us to paint. We painted a lot one after another, and the honoraria we received was used to buy some poetry books and paints. Later, my sister got married. Our sisters have a good relationship and are really reluctant to break up. The night before she got married, I cried with her all night. Less than a year after she got married, she died of a miscarriage. It is said that her mother-in-law did not treat her very well. She also had a bit of a temper, when she was at home, her mother was going to do everything for her, she was used to being pampered at home, and she was married to someone else's family, of course she couldn't stand it, and she couldn't bear it. …… These things are like dreams when I think about them now. When my sister-in-law said this, she was very sentimental, and her eyes were red, so she stopped talking for the time being.

I was afraid that my sister-in-law would cry, but my clumsy mouth could not find the words to comfort her. I asked, 'Sister-in-law, has my mother and Brother Li written from me recently?' They're all right. She replied: 'Thank you, my brother has recently written to them that they are all well and that they will not be able to return to the provincial capital for a year or two.' We talked for a while, and then I said I would study my homework, and went out of my sister-in-law's room and went back to my room. I was still thinking about my sister-in-law's words, but I finally calmed down and reviewed "Treasure Island" for more than 20 pages. I felt lonely and irritable again. I dropped my book and strode around the room. I think about everything out there. I can't live this life anymore. I felt that there was oppression everywhere in my home, and I should fight to the end.

At the lunch table, I heard my stepmother talk to my eldest brother about the strategies of the fourth aunt, the fifth aunt, and Aunt Chen, and they talked very seriously, and I couldn't help but laugh. After the meal, it was not dark yet, so I went to my eldest brother's room to talk to him about filial piety. He was too weak, he had too many concerns. I was not satisfied with him, because his mind was going back to the old ways day by day. We were talking energetically, and Wan'er, the girl in the third aunt's room, came to ask the eldest brother to play cards with Mrs. Zhang's mother (the mother of the third aunt), and he agreed without hesitation. I was not very happy and asked, 'Big brother, are you going to play cards again?' He replied simply, "Accompany Mrs. Zhang's mother." Why are you embarrassed not to go? So he went with Wan'er.

I have two older brothers: the eldest brother plays cards every day to please others; The second brother now goes to his aunt's house every day to teach Sister Qin to read English, and he is always not at home at night. I felt like I should be a completely different person from them......

Alas, this life! That's what I do in the day. To live like this, I am simply wasting my youth. ……

"I can't give in like this, I must resist, I must resist my grandfather's orders, I must go out. ……”

Jue Hui's diary only wrote a diary of this day, and he really went out the next day.