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When I woke up, Chen Qingchuan was at my bedside.

When he saw that I had opened my eyes, he picked me up from the bed and whispered, "Awake"

I didn't speak, just sat in his arms and looked ahead.

There was a window in front of me, and it was still dark, and I stared at it in a daze.

Chen Qingchuan asked again: "Do you want to drink some water?" ”

He wiped tears from my face.

I thought of something, and suddenly raised my face to look at him, I pushed him away and cried at the top of my throat: "It's all you, Chen Qingchuan, you are hiding from me, you know what is going on, but you don't tell me, you killed my mother!" ”

I was crazy and beat him there and said: "You let go of me, Chen Qingchuan, I hate you, I hate you to death, you made me without my mother, you made me an orphan, you have no parents yourself, you have made me without parents, since you came to my house, they don't like me anymore, my father is dead, my mother is also dead, all because of you!" You've made my happy home like this! It's all you! ”

My face and neck were red with my roar, and I didn't know why I was saying something like that.

Chen Qingchuan listened and didn't refute me, he just hugged me and let me beat me.

I cried, gasped, and screamed, almost out of breath.

At this moment, I felt as if the sky was falling, and I didn't know what to do in such a situation.

Obviously it was fine a few days ago, how did it become like this.

Chen Qingchuan hugged me who was about to cry and die, and he looked at me.

I cried like a child in his arms, my whole body was paralyzed in his hands, Chen Qingchuan's hand was fixed on the back, my head was tilted back, crying and panting, looking at the dim light above my head, crying to the back, I couldn't cry anymore, just coughing violently.

When Mama Jin heard it and rushed in from outside, she saw the situation inside, and just thought about it, Chen Qingchuan put me on the bed, and he said to Mama Jin: "Mama Jin, don't worry, let her rest for a while." ”

When Mother Jin heard this, she came in with water, put it next to my bed, and then quietly withdrew.

Chen Qingchuan was still sitting on the edge of the bed and looking at me crying on the bed.

After a while, he pulled the quilt on my body for me, then sat on the edge of the bed and looked at me on the bed and said, "Kaiyan, let's drink some water first." ”

He held my head and carefully fed me with the cup of warm water, but before I took a sip, I cried so hard that I coughed violently and retched.

Chen Qingchuan immediately threw the water glass aside, then picked me up, held me in his arms, patted me on the back, and smoothed my breath for me.

My eyes were red, my nose was red, and I was breathing hard as if I was going to die.

It's so sad, I can't accept this result, it turns out that something happened a few days ago, it turned out that everyone was hiding from me, they watched my mother die, they didn't tell me, they didn't stop me.

I was like a fool, I was told all this by them, and I came here stupidly, and I received my mother's body, which was a living person, why was it suddenly gone.

Chen Qingchuan, who has always been able to soothe people's hearts, was silent at this moment, he just hugged me tightly in his arms, then kissed my eyelids, and said to me in a very low, low and deep bluntness: "I'm sorry, Xiao Yan." ”

I didn't accept it, I refused to let him kiss me, I blocked his lips with my hand, trying to push him away, but I really didn't have the strength, the strength from my hand was so weak.

Chen Qingchuan's kiss fell on my palm, he kissed without moving, and he whispered sorry to me again.

I didn't cry, only tears.

I don't know how I came over in those days, Jin Ma said that my mother's wish is to come to my grandmother's hometown, and she has been here for a long time, she doesn't want to be cremated, so she chooses to be buried here.

Mother Jin said that in fact, the night my mother came here, she was already a little bad, but she had been holding on to it since then, but because her whole body hurt too hard, she couldn't even take painkillers, and begged Mother Jin to give her sleeping pills.

Mother Jin refused at the time, but she couldn't stand my mother's pain, and finally relied on her.

I fed my mother with my own hands, and then accompanied her and let her fall asleep.

When Jin's mother told me these things, she knelt under me, dragged me and cried and said: "Miss, I'm sorry for you, I killed my wife, but I have no choice, the doctors said that my wife is not saved, and she can't live next month, she is too painful, this kind of pain is not at all something that ordinary people can endure, my wife was immune to painkillers as early as a month ago, she has not dared to tell you in order not to worry about you, she will come here this time, it is her last wish, you call the police to arrest me." ”

I looked at Mama Jin who was crying under me, standing there all the time without reacting, just stupidly watching.

Dingkun was there to help Jin's mother and wanted her to get up, but Jin's mother refused and kept kneeling in front of me.

Jin's mother is older, and she cried until she was hoarse, she was lying under me, at this time the mourning hall was hung with white flags, incense and candles were burning, my mother had sealed the coffin, I looked at Jin's mother underground, and I didn't know what to say at this time, whether to forgive or not to forgive.

I ignored her, let her cry, and walked to the mourning hall to burn the paper.

When Mama Jin saw that I didn't speak, she lay on the ground and looked at me.

I looked at the raging fire in the brazier at my moment, and finally spoke: "Mother Jin, you are the person who has taken care of my mother for most of her life, it stands to reason that you are the closest person to her, she treats you as half of her own sister, yes, she is sick, very seriously ill, but she is a patient, she is confused, are you also confused?" Why did you all hide it from me and not tell me about it, and now my mother is dying here in vain, and you let me accept it? How do I accept it? You gave her sleeping pills, you said it was her wish, why didn't she mention it to me before. ”

Mama Jin looked up at me from lying on the ground.

I said, "I'm her daughter, her only child, this kind of thing should have been done with my knowledge, but no, you didn't tell me, I didn't even see her for the last time, forgive, how do you think I should forgive?" ”

Mother Jin cried and asked me, "Miss, do you think I deliberately killed my wife?" ”

I said, "It's hard not to think like that, my mom can't just say anything like this." ”

I threw the paper into the brazier and said, "Go ahead, I won't call the police, and I don't want to see you again." ”

Mother Jin looked at me, and in the mourning hall, there was only the sound of burning paper.

Mother Jin probably didn't expect me to say something like this, she cried and shook her head, and then glanced at my mother's mourning hall again, she touched the tears on her face and said, "Okay, I'll go, anyway, I don't have the face to see you now, miss, Mother Jin is waiting for you here, please take care of yourself in the future." ”

After she had finished speaking, she bowed three times to my mother's funeral hall, and then struggled to her feet from the ground and rushed out.

After Mama Jin left, I threw the paper there like a nobody.

I had a very chaotic life in those days, sometimes sleeping, sometimes waking up, sometimes sleeping in a daze, and feeling like my mother was sitting on the edge of the hospital bed looking at me.

But when I opened my eyes, there was nothing, only Chen Qingchuan was here, and after Jin's mother was forced away by me, he was the only one left here.

I know that he must have known that Jin Ma and my mother were weird during that time, and he also hid it from me, and I lost my temper with him countless times in those days, as long as I was awake, I was full of anger with him.

But Chen Qingchuan never quarreled with me, very calmly and calmly accepted all my anger towards him, every time to the end, I cried to the heartbreak, he would not approach me on the side, just looked at me crying, and waited until I cried until I had no arrogance to subside, no strength, no strength to struggle, he would come up and hug me.

This repeated mood lasted until the day of my mother's burial, and on the day of the burial, I calmed down, did not make noise, did not cry, and watched more than a dozen people carry my mother's coffin out.

The burial was in the morning, it was raining heavily when I was buried, I stood there with an umbrella, and I couldn't even hold the umbrella when the wind blew, Chen Qingchuan, who was standing on the side, hugged me in his arms and held the crumbling umbrella blown by the wind for me.

In the distance, I heard someone crying, not a young man's voice, it was Jin's mother's.

Chen Qingchuan also heard it, he looked down at me, probably seeing that I didn't speak, he didn't speak.

After the coffin entered the dug pit, the rain was too heavy, Chen Qingchuan took me down the mountain, very strange, I was calm and angry, I didn't tear my heart or shout.

After five long days, I seem to have gradually accepted this time, although this matter is still sudden for me now, but my heart is not as sad as before.

When we returned to the small courtyard, someone was tidying up the house, the mourning hall had been demolished, and the small courtyard had been restored to its original appearance.

Mother Jin is gone, all this is naturally handled by Chen Qingchuan, he left someone here to take care of it, probably because he was afraid that I would be sad if I stayed here, so he wanted to take me out of here that night.

I didn't speak again after my mother's burial, and I left it to Chen Qingchuan, so we left here at six o'clock in the evening.

It was still raining heavily outside at night, the car was driving very slowly, and I leaned on the back seat, and kept waking up from sleep, occasionally Chen Qingchuan would hold me in his arms to check my temperature, and when he saw that I had no fever, he would put me at the window and lean against me, covering me with a blanket, so that I could sleep peacefully.

Occasionally I would listen to him answer a few phone calls, all of them on business, but basically he would end it quickly, not for too long, probably for fear of disturbing me.

I slept in a mixed bag, and the image in my head was still the same as the previous day, my mother's body, my cry, the image of Jin's mother kneeling under me.

I kept struggling half-asleep, and I don't know how long it was, but when I woke up from my dream and opened my eyes, I was lying on the bed.