Funny (2) (196)
He saw that Hao Qiang was carrying a bulging rag cloth bag, which was probably filled with water and dry food, and he must not have rested at noon. When he saw that he was still carrying an old foreign cannon on his shoulder, he was still a little surprised and asked, "It's okay to go around, why are you also carrying a gun?" ”
Hao Qiang said with a smile: "Two days ago, two wolves almost ate a sheep, and they both bit a few bites. Mrs. Wu asked me to take this guy who can fight bravely, and explained that if I saw bandits or Japanese devils, I would run to the village, and I would release my gun to remind the people in the village to prepare early. There are wolves in this one, Yan Meng and I don't dare to drive the cattle and sheep into the mountains, so we can only put them on the edge of the village. ”
The cattle and sheep released by him and Yan Meng are mainly from the Wu family, and the rest are scattered by a few families who also raise cattle and sheep and release them together.
"If the sheep is eaten by wolves, then you must not be deducted from your wages?"
"God me, I can't help it!"
He smiled, knowing that Old Lady Wu was not the kind of person who was stingy and didn't preach, but he just wanted to tease him to say this mantra.
"Will you let this gun go?"
"What's so hard about that?"
He thought that if Hao Qiang carried a gun, he would give people a fox and a fake tiger, and he didn't want to stay longer, so he said: "That-when we have time, we will talk again, and I will go to the mountains for a walk." ”
Hao Qiang looked at the black tiger who was inseparable from him and said appreciatively: "This is really a good dog, very benevolent." ”
When he heard the black tiger being praised, he was as happy as being praised by others, so he leaned over and touched the black tiger and said, "If it weren't for an animal, I would have stumbled on the ground with it to worship my brothers." ”
Hao Qiang laughed and said: "Uncle said something that shouldn't be said, someone said behind your back that you are like a wilted turtle, I didn't expect you to joke?!" ”
He didn't mind, so he learned Hao Qiang's sentence and said: "God means, I can't help it!" ”
Hao Qiang smiled even more, so he patted him on the shoulder and said, "My words can be regarded as learned by you kid, just like a parrot." ”
When the black tiger saw Hao Qiang slapping his master, he bared his teeth in demonstration, and his mouth made a whining sound, looking like a fierce bully. As long as the owner gives an order, it can attack Hao Qiang as a prey.
Hao Qiang was frightened and took a few steps back and said, "This guy knows the protector. ”
He smiled with satisfaction: "It is more sensible than people." ”
"Why does that look like an insult?"
"It didn't mean that!"
"It's just you, kid!"
"Have you ever met a stranger on this mountain all year round?"
"Just here, there is no one in a radius of about forty miles, the world is so chaotic, either devils or bandits, there are also wild beasts in the deep mountains and old forests, and they can also meet two people on this mountain road in a year. What, what are you asking for? ”
"It's okay, just ask."
"Is your mother's illness better?"
"It's so much better, it makes you think!" He knew that his mother's madness had not lessened, and it could be said that it was still the same, but when others cared about it, they had to say the same.
Hao Qiang sighed and said, "They are all good people, how can this be?!" That's - then your wife isn't pregnant yet? If there is a big fat grandson, when your mother sees it, fortunately, the disease will be cured! ”
"You're a big man asking about this, excuse me?" Hao Qiang's words poked at his sore spot.
"What's so embarrassing about this, what's the shame of raising a child? What is the difference between this woman raising a child and a donkey and a horse, a cat and a dog? It makes no difference to say that a person is a human being, and an animal is an animal - besides, I didn't ask your wife in person, didn't I? Shh ”
He shook his head and walked away. I wanted to ask Hao Qiang if he had seen who lit the fire on the mountain, but at this time, he was in no mood!
didn't wait for a long time, but heard Hao Qiang shouting behind him: "Boy, wait a minute, if you want your wife to conceive a child, I have a way!" ”
He was stunned for a moment, but still stopped.
Hao Qiang walked towards him quickly.
The walking posture and appearance made him feel that the four nicknames were very reasonable, and they were funny and made people laugh, which was a little uglier than the way Zhu Le walked.
"I have a way to get your wife pregnant, I don't know if you believe it or not?"
"How?" He suddenly became a little curious.
Hao Qiang's expression was a little mysterious: "It's you who surround that 'giant. Dick 'is going to turn around three times. ”
"Does this work? You're not teasing me, are you? As soon as he asked this, he regretted it a little, for fear that Hao Qiang would see his anxious mood!
Hao Qiang said embarrassedly: "Don't tell you, everything is working on me, I don't believe you go to the village to inquire, I used to be married for seven or eight years and didn't have a baby. Not to mention, your aunt will squeeze and drive eggs to give birth to three in a row, like a hen laying eggs one after another, that is, potatoes, sweet potatoes, persimmons. If I don't control it, I'm afraid that I won't be able to raise it if I have too many children, and I'm afraid that I will not let the sheep but the children play today. ”
Giving such vulgar names to the three children not only shows that they are uneducated, but also makes people guess that the children were born in the vegetable garden. Among them, "Persimmon" is still a girl, but she has to spend her life carrying a name that makes people laugh after hearing it under the lack of knowledge of her father! Everyone in the village knows that Hao Qiang's wife Shan Erniu is a second marriage, the first man she married was far away, and she didn't give birth for three years after marriage, so she was divorced by the man for this reason, and she married Hao Qiang again after introduction, but she didn't expect to give birth to children one after another.
Seeing that Hao Qiang said it very seriously, he listened to it and was skeptical, there is such a strange thing? It is said that worshipping Guanyin can bring blessings to people, and the mother has not burned incense to worship the Buddha, and those prayers have not been realized, and it has not had any effect at all! Not to mention her father's death, even she herself became half-crazy and half-stupid when she was about to eat fasting and chant Buddha. The mother also begged Guanyin to send her son, but she didn't see Liu Xingmei's belly getting bigger, it seems that these are foolish ideas that deceive herself!
Everything is just as his father said: every family is for the Bodhisattva, and the mud tire does not speak. There is no answer to all your requests, and you are in vain!
He didn't know if it was okay, so he only smiled at Hao Qiang, turned his head and left.
"You kid might as well try it, it just doesn't work, and it's no good or bad!"
Hao Qiang pulled the male duck's voice behind his back.
He just smiled wryly and ignored it.
"If it works, don't forget to invite me to drink!"
He couldn't help but turn around and shout, "If it works, I'll stuff you in the vat and soak it!" ”
Hao Qiang smiled not far away.
He thought as he walked: If it works, Liu Xingmei can carry cubs as easily as the cat, which is the biggest joy of the Tao family! The Black Tiger followed him every step of the way, showing absolute loyalty.
Behind him, there was a sound of Hao Qiang humming, which seemed to have the charm of the southern and northern tones, which belonged to his unique self-created pastoral song, which was difficult for others to understand, but it sounded worse to him than a night owl. Because Hao Qiang is a male duck's voice, goosebumps rose on his body when he heard it, and it gave him the feeling that he was standing and to the meaning of fine, no wonder it would attract wolves to eat sheep!
If the Tao family breaks off the incense in his lifetime, then he will be like a sinner through the ages, let his father under Jiuquan die without turning a blind eye, even after he dies, there will be no face to see his ancestors in the underworld!