(a)

Central Hospital. Pen? Interesting? Pavilion wWw. ｂiquge。 ｉｎfo

"Do you want to use anesthetic? It's a bit uncomfortable to do this test, and many people will be scared. "Kaohsiung's mother asked you.

You say, "No, I did the last check-up, and I can still get used to it." ”

Kaohsiung's mother said, "Are you sure you don't need to? ”

You smile and say, "It's nothing compared to the pain you usually feel." ”

(b)

You sit up from the table.

You get dressed again, you get off the table, you go back to the exam room and wait.

Kaohsiung's mother also returned to the examination room after a while, and she took the results of the examination in her hand to read them.

She said, "Do you want to see the results?" ”

You nodded. She handed you the results and said, "It's going to be a little fast." ”

You look down at the results. You nodded. You say, "yes." ”

Kaohsiung's mother said: "At this stage, the operation is meaningless. Are you sure you don't want to try chemoradiotherapy? If you delay any longer, you really can't do anything. ”

You say, "It's just a death, so don't bother." I'm not so unwilling. ”

Kaohsiung's mother said: "You will feel sick and tired more often than before. Sometimes, the pain can be so severe that it's more than you can imagine. ”

You say, "Chemotherapy and radiotherapy won't avoid it." ”

Kaohsiung's mother looks at you, nods and says, "It's possible that it won't work." However, it is also possible to alleviate a little. At the very least, there is a possibility of remission for a while. ”

You say, "The process of chemoradiotherapy is also uncomfortable." Forget it. Every man has his own life, and every man has his own life. Prescribe me a little more painkiller. I know how to inject intramuscularly myself, and I'm very skilled. When I was a student, I learned first aid in a military compound. ”

Kaohsiung's mother said, "Okay. If you've made your choice. ”

She took out the prescription slip and took the pen to write it. She said, "You're special, young man. ”

You smile and say, "Really?" Aunt. ”

She looked at your bright and warm smile and said, "Your heart beats so steadily." You are in your heart, there is really no fear. ”

She said: "I have never seen a person who can be so stable in his heart, and there is no fear at all. ”

She said: "Rao is used to seeing life and death. I asked myself, and I couldn't do it. ”

You smile.

You say, "I'm sluggish." ”

Later, Kaohsiung's mother always remembered you.

"He's so different," she said. He wasn't nervous on the inside, and he pretended not to be scared on the outside. He is truly without any fear in his heart. You look at his eyes, look at his smile, listen to his voice, and you can perceive it intensely. His heart is extremely deep and powerful. ”

"I've never met anyone better than him," she said. ”

(c)

You walk out of the exam room and wait for the elevator in the elevator room.

The elevator door opens, and Kaohsiung rushes out of the elevator to meet you head-on.

Kaohsiung said: "You said that I would accompany you, why did you come by yourself, and you didn't call me." I have time. ”

You say, "I have no problem coming by myself, so why bother with your business?" I didn't even tell Lao Wang. ”

Kaohsiung said: "Oh, what is your condition now, and you still say such things." ”

You say, "Everyone is born to die, and that's always been the case, and it's the same now, nothing out of the ordinary has happened." ”

You smile warmly and say, "Don't be so nervous, relax." Since you're here, you can go back with me. ”

The elevator stopped again and the door opened.

You tapped Kaohsiung on the shoulder and said, "Let's go." ”

Kaohsiung looks at you.

You say, "If you feel like you have to do something, come in and help me press the first floor." ”

Kaohsiung follows you into the elevator. You nod at him. He reached out and pressed the button on the first floor.

He looks at you. You smile and say, "Look, you've helped me." ”

Kaohsiung looks at you and sighs.

(iv)

You sit on a bench in the venue. You pick up the earbuds. You put it on slowly.

You pick up the gun. You raise your gun. Your whole arm is shaking. You can't get the crosshair to be aimed at the bull's-eye.

You hold on a bit. Your arms are shaking more and more, and you can barely hold your gun. It almost fell out of your hand.

You put down the gun. You lean back in your chair. You close your eyes. You focus your attention on your breathing.

"Guide, what is the ideal shooting realm in your heart?" I asked.

You say: "The thunder breaks through the mountains without being frightened, the white blade is not afraid, fame and fortune are like passing through a gap, and knowing life and death is like a tumor." Even if the world is destroying before our eyes and it is falling apart, it can still deliver this shot steadily. ”

The scene of our conversation comes to your mind.

You adjust your breathing, and you open your eyes again.

You see the target rolling on the opposite side like a wave. You can't focus successfully. You feel sweat running down and into your eyes. Pain gnaws at you inside.

You stabilize yourself a bit. You hold the handle of the gun with both hands. You raise your gun again.

You pull the trigger. You fire five bullets in a row. You put down the gun. You sit in a chair and breathe. You can't move.

You hear a little sound. You see the target paper slowly moving towards you. Someone pressed the slide key.

You turn back with difficulty. You see Director Wang behind you.

He silently takes the target paper down and hands it to you.

You looked. All five rounds are within the 10 rings of the bull's-eye. There were four shots that hit almost the same place. One shot is slightly off.

Director Wang sits down next to you. He looks at the target paper and listens to your short breaths.

He said, "If you don't feel well, don't practice." ”

You say, "I'm not practicing guns." ”

Director Wang looked at you: "What? ”

You say, "I'm training my mind." ”

(5)

You rode me home.

"Today, are we going to walk the road with the Chow Chow?"

You say, "Do you really want to go?" ”

I shook my head and said, "I think you like that path." It seems like we haven't walked in a while. ”

You say, "Let's go another way, I'm a little tired of going that way." ”

I said, "Well, I'll like the path you choose." ”

Later, I realized why you rarely choose the path with a Chow Chow anymore.

Because you're running out of energy. You can't ride me up that steep slope any longer, and you can't shake off that big barking dog as fast as the wind.

(f)

We reached a fork in the road.

I looked at you, I don't know why, I feel extra nostalgic.

You stop the car and set it up.

You pick up a stiff straw stick from the side of the road.

You draw a line on the ground.

You say, "Start with this line and take 10 steps forward." ”

I'm looking at you.

You laugh a little, and you encourage, "Start walking." ”

I stopped 10 paces away and turned to look at you.

Say, "Heart, leave me, and get used to leaving me." ”

You say, "You can't go farther without leaving me." (To be continued.) )