(a)

I heard a sigh of regret in the audience. Pen × fun × Pavilion www. ｂｉｑｕｇｅ。 info This also includes Mr. Brown's voice.

Headmaster Cheng looked relieved. A satisfied smile appeared on his face.

In the midst of this sound, you put down your towel.

My heart ached. I couldn't see the inside of the towel, but I knew what it would be like.

You reach down and take off the earbuds.

The last shot in your life, the last game, and that's it.

A deep tiredness hangs over you. You are plunged into deep darkness. You feel the whole earth sinking. Your body shakes. But you struggle to control yourself.

You know you should walk over to Mr. Brown, shake his hand, and congratulate him. However, you are sweating profusely in pain, and any movement makes you feel like the sky is falling apart.

You see Mr. Brown and the principal and others walking towards you.

Mr. Brown holds out his hand to you.

You put all your strength into it and say to Brown, "You won." Congratulations. It's an honor to shoot with you. ”

Mr. Brown hurriedly said, "No, no, no. The last shot, you let me, you didn't make a mistake! I should be the one who feels honored! You've ever seen anyone in my life, the most amazing shooter, you're the real god of guns! It's hard to imagine that you're not a professional player: it's a shame that you're not in professional sports! ”

You see Principal Cheng clear his throat and prepare to start talking.

But you can't hold on any longer, and the sweet smell of blood rushes to your throat again. You feel the volcano inside you start to erupt violently. Your internal organs are already bleeding and your body is filled with blood that has overflowed the walls of your blood vessels.

You say to Mr. Brown and the school leaders, "I'm sorry. I need to get out of the way. ”

You turn and stumble towards the bathroom.

(b)

Director Wang's heart sank, and he followed closely behind you and also entered the bathroom.

He said, "How are you?" Principal, please ......"

His words came to an abrupt halt. He looks at you. He said, "Oh my God! ”

You clutch to the copper faucet. You bend over toward the pool. Blood is pouring out of your mouth and nostrils at a rapid pace. You try to make it stop with a towel and water, but you can't.

Director Wang's face changed. He was about to turn around and walk outside to seek help.

Just then, there was a chaotic buzz in the venue. Director Wang made out the door for a few seconds, and judged that it was Mrs. Brown who was talking anxiously and loudly.

At the time of your game, Brown's little daughter didn't know when she was gone. She was supposed to sit in the guest seat with her stepmother. But now she's gone. Mrs. Brown was just too focused on your game to notice when the little girl slipped away.

Everyone's attention was also drawn to the game, and the people around them did not notice when the little girl disappeared.

Everyone was clamoring to split up to find her. Mrs. Brown's voice rang anxiously in the confusion. And Mr. Brown's voice.

Just as Wang Gui recognized the chaotic voice, you struggled to straighten up from the edge of the pool.

You use a towel to wipe the blood from your nostrils and the corners of your mouth. You say, "I know where she is." ”

You don't care about the blood pouring out. You say, "She's in danger, I'll save her." ”

(c)

Actually, everything happened very quickly that day. All sessions are short.

I couldn't get past this for a long time. I can't do a good job of recounting the events of the day. I don't remember a lot of things. Every time I tried to write it, it was terrible.

I remember that day, I followed Director Wang and ran to the bathroom. Because it was the men's restroom, I couldn't go straight in like he did. I had to stand outside.

Just as I was standing outside, I saw you stumble out of it. You cover your mouth and nose with a towel. The inside and outside of the towel were all stained red with blood. Your eyes meet me.

You stand there, and we look at each other for a second or two.

In that moment, you said to me with your eyes, "There's no time." ”

You have to do the last thing in your life.

"There is no time" has three meanings: the deadly hemorrhage has already begun to occur; Dangerous things have also begun to happen; You have to do that. So, we don't have time to say goodbye.

Just a second or two later, you left me.

Before I could react, I saw you hurrying up your steps with all your might, staggering, towards the main entrance with the security line pulled, you crossed the barrier, flipped over the rope railing, and you walked towards the door. You disappeared in the doorway.

The moment you disappeared from the doorway, a great panic suddenly caught me. I found myself suddenly no longer in my original location. I found myself climbing over a rope fence and everything around me was lost in a white mist. I find myself running very anxiously in the direction you disappeared, and I don't know what I'm doing.

I heard the sound of rope railings and obstacles falling to the ground, maybe I tripped up. Maybe I fell down myself because I felt pain in multiple parts of my body. But I don't remember exactly what happened.

As I got up from the rope railing, a screeching brake sounded, and then I heard two strange muffled thuds, reminiscent of the sound of heavy clubs hitting flesh.

Then, I saw something glowing with gold fall straight at my feet.

When the thing screamed, I realized it was Mr. Brown's little daughter.

She flew straight at me face down and landed in front of me with a thud.

A pretty face rises from a mess of blond hair. The cold and hateful expression on that face will be etched in my memory for the rest of my life.

The little girl's face was a little scratched, and she got up screaming from the ground with her scratched little face, and then she pointed in a direction and she said sharply in English with a crying voice: "He pushed me down!" That man, he pushed me down! ”

(iv)

I didn't understand what was going on, just mechanically followed her finger and looked in that direction.

I had the feeling of dreaming, as if my body was floating off the ground.

I saw you fall from that wall in the doorway, smashing heavily into the dust on the ground.

I heard some very dull cracking sounds that I had never heard before.

When I vaguely realized that it was the sound of broken bones, I saw you crawling up from the ground with difficulty, you groping the wall with your hands, you seemed to want to stand up against the wall, but you couldn't, your eyes were confused, your face was terrible. Your entire face is covered in blood. You are bleeding from the seven orifices.

I see you struggling and trying again, you barely half kneeling and half standing up, you staggering and trying to take a step to the side, you turn around with difficulty, you seem to want to look this way.

But suddenly, with another screech of brakes, you're no longer where you were, and you seem to have been blown away by a gust of wind.

When I found my body again, and was able to see with my own eyes again, I found the huge ten-wheeled heavy military truck parked where you were, and the young driver who had crushed my shoes was coming down the steps of the cab, and I saw that his eyes were wide open and there was some indescribable expression on his face, somewhat like the face of a man who had died of a poisonous smirk.

I remember that the driver, his eyes, so strange, were as blood-red as two red-hot charcoal balls, and I could clearly see that some blue flames were licking outward from the center of the two charcoal balls, a bit like the kind of picture of the eruption of the sun in the textbook.

I felt like air couldn't get in, and I couldn't help but reach for my neck, but I couldn't control my hands. In fact, I couldn't find where my hands were. I saw the two charcoal balls looking downwards, and I sleepwalked after them and looked downwards as well. I see you. Under the wheels.

I could only see above your chest, and the rest of the car was underneath the car. Your chest cavenges strangely, blood gushes out of your mouth, nose, ears, eyes, half a wheel and the ground near you are a sticky red.

I was frozen by a force that I couldn't get rid of. You can't move, you can't think, you can't react, you can't speak. I stared at you blankly.

Then I saw something shiny and shiny fall from your bloodied neck, shaking and shaking. I know this thing. But no! No! No! That's not how it shouldn't be! It's not here!

(5)

I see a star shining in the depths of your eyes. It flickered and flickered like a candle in a storm, dying. I saw the light drift slowly in my direction, blankly. I saw it slowly fall on me. But I couldn't feel where my body was. It was as if I had only a little consciousness left in the last wisps of green smoke.

When that faint light, when it went out, a stream of air rushed up from the heart with demonic power.

I felt a huge mushroom cloud rise from inside my body. I lost my sight, then my hearing, then my sense of touch.

Like a downed tree, I fell straight down, into the arms of Wang Gui, who ran after me, and then dissolved into a pile of powder in his arms.

This was later told to me by S. He said, they were all very sure at the time, I died with you.

He was right. Since then, I have been dead.

And in this way, you have paid the debt you owe.

I didn't see how you killed that Sibel woman in your long past life, but I saw how you paid for her life.

Now, I understand what you said in your previous life when you were in a high fever near the water. However, it was too late.

Every life of mine seems to be like this: every time I know what happened, it's always too late!

So, I was alone again. Once again, a person is left in a world without you.

(f)

Just now, when I finished writing the sentence "I'm alone", I felt a moistness and a chill in my chest. When I looked down, blood seeped out of the front of my clothes.

When I unbuttoned it, I found that a scratch of about 6-8 centimeters appeared on the skin in the middle of my chest, as if it had been cut by a sharp blade. It tingled, and beads of blood oozed out.

I'm pretty sure nothing sharp touched the skin there. It's been in the clothes well. I think it's been cut through by this past. I can't find a more plausible explanation than that.

There is no sharper blade than sadness.

Every day, I see it slicing through the timeline, leaving scars on many people's chests that are difficult to heal.

(g)

In later years, when I talked about you, I always said to others that you died of illness.

I've never told anyone that you're not sick.

I've never told anyone about this ending.

I never said it happened this way.

It was like a dagger, piercing deep into my heart. It's so deep that it's stalkless.

(viii)

Let me be my example! I pray that I will be a substitute!

Even if everyone is praying for happiness, I insist on praying for pain.

Give me all your pain, give me all the pain, and let me bear all the ferocity and pain of the Ten Directions World!

It starts in this life! I am willing to give up all the joy and happiness of this life in this way!

I am willing to give up all joy and happiness forever and ever:

If only it could save you from all the sufferings of the long bloody journey!

As long as all lives can be saved, all the suffering in the endless bloody path!

(ix)

The so-called bodhisattva is like this.

In order to inspire a life, with sincere compassion, we are willing to go through a lot of unbearable pain and a terrible end.

All the patience is to arouse the sincere compassion of this thought.

This is the spirit of the bodhisattva, the spirit of the Sangha. It is the spirit in which I want to take refuge with sincerity. May I also have such great compassion, such courage, and be such a forbearant bodhisattva.

(x)

This is our separation once again. I walked a long, long way to be able to write it like that.

All the words I've written in my life have been written in this way.

All the words in my life, their common source, are all you. And their common end point will be: to save all living beings from all suffering.