(a)

Originally, this long story could have come to an end when it was written here. Pen & Fun & Pavilion www.biquge.info

However, I would like to write one more volume. Why?

The first is to commemorate those good friends around me: my best friend Kaohsiung, the best teacher of words and his former partner Mr. Liang Yichen, the best current partner Mr. Kenichi Nakamura, and others such as Wigg. This volume was written for the benefit of life. Those who are behind you to support me in my quest.

On the road of life growth, parents are the source of our physical body, teachers are the source of our wisdom, and friends are the traveling companions on the difficult road. As cowardly ordinary people, we will inevitably fall into fear and confusion on the road of life full of all kinds of unexpected blows and setbacks, after losing the guidance of our teachers, and sometimes, we will really not have the courage to move forward, and will succumb to our own laziness, lethargy, relaxation, timidity, and will be swallowed up by troubles. However, a good friend can escort us, give us confidence and a sense of security, let us not forget our original intention, overcome all obstacles, and continue to move towards the goal.

Therefore, in the Chinese idiom, a good teacher and a good friend are always connected.

If you are a good teacher among the good teachers in my life, then Kaohsiung is a good friend among good friends.

Without their guidance and companionship, I wouldn't be where I am today.

One must build on a firm foundation. If I hadn't come to this point, all the words here would not have existed.

Therefore, it would be unfair to them not to write about many things with a few good friends in one volume, and it is not enough to express my deep gratitude from the bottom of my heart.

As I said to my eldest son in Kaohsiung, without the help of a good friend, I would have sunk and fallen long ago.

The second is to report to you about my life in the following days.

In this volume, you will see the hard and tireless life I have lived in the world behind you, how I have sought the Tao, how I have explored, how I have sunk, how I have been liberated, how I have been bound, where I have walked, who I have met, and how I have experienced spiritual longings.

I know that even fewer people will be able to understand the contents of this volume. They won't be interested in following me. But it doesn't matter at all.

This volume is my long letter to you, and it is a chapter dedicated to you.

Although I know that you can't see it, I also know that all the efforts will not be in vain.

When the farmer is busy in the fields, he cannot see the future harvest. Although he could not see the future result with the naked eye, he firmly believed in his heart that the result would definitely exist, exist, and would come. He was sure of this.

I have been diligently seeking the Tao according to your last words. Although I have not yet reached the end of the line, I am convinced that as long as I keep going, I will definitely be able to reach it, and one day, I will be able to attain perfect wisdom and have boundless power to save all living beings in life and death. I'm sure there's no doubt about that.

(b)

Sometimes, we feel like we have lived like a year, but looking back, we still feel that time has flown by.

I'm finally an adult, and I'm old enough to talk about marriage. However, this did not make me feel the slightest joy. On the contrary, it makes me feel very sad. When I was by your side, I looked forward day and night that I could grow up and become an adult woman who worked independently, so that we could fulfill our long-cherished wish and be by your side in a righteous and dignified manner. I kept reassuring myself that this day would come.

The day has finally arrived. But I never imagined that when this day finally came, you would have been reduced to ashes for a long, long time.

After you left, I lived a life of seclusion. I gathered up all my body and mind, and sealed it tightly, like an island separated from all continents, and like a besieged city crisscrossed by ravines. I tried my best to avoid contact with the outside world. I truly feel that the world is as desolate as the moon, with no life and no air to breathe.

I don't remember a lot about how I struggled through the initial period of great sorrow. Man tends to forget the things that make him unbearable. Therefore, I am completely unable to follow the normal logic of the story.

It really can't be done.

I can only break through from the easiest place to break through, and whatever I can write, I can be what it is. Disorganization may be inevitable. -- When you write it, you will achieve it.

So, where to start?

Start with that bar in your parents' city.

That year, I was twenty-three years old. I've finished college and found a job, but I'm getting less and less interested in everything. Every time I think of the extremely long life ahead, my heart becomes very heavy. I was severely troubled by suicidal thoughts. I slept for long periods of time, in this way, pretending that I was dead, escaping all the distractions of the hustle and bustle of this world.

In the summer, I got my first paid vacation. I used this vacation to find the Xiyuan cliff that I remembered in my previous life. I went back to the place where the Xiyuan training base used to be, and although everything there had long since changed beyond recognition, I finally found the cliff, the cliff above the Blackwater River. I climbed up the cliff and really saw the big hole formed by the explosion of that swimming fireball, and saw the place where you and the moonlight fell back then. I cried there so badly, until I lost consciousness.

Then, I felt like I wanted to be here, to follow you, to leave this world without you.

I took off the watch from my wrist and let it go and let it fall off a cliff.

After thousands of years, I tell you, dear you, although I can't accompany you in your loneliness, I still want to accompany you.

I'm telling you, wait for me, I'll be here soon.

(c)

I haven't been to your grave since you left, and I don't know what happened to your mother since she took your ashes. I don't have the guts to understand these things. Don't dare to look back on the past that has been related to you. I don't want to confirm it again, you're really gone.

However, having made up my mind, I want to go to your graveyard again, take a sneak peek at you, and tell you my decision.

I know this goes against your long-standing teachings and encouragement to me. However, I was really in too much pain. My heart was already scarred and dying, and it was really difficult for me to hold on any longer.

I thought about it, who can I find out where your grave is? I don't want to get in touch with people who are too close to you, and I don't want to get in touch with people who have nothing to do with our affairs. After thinking about it, I thought of S.

S didn't take the college entrance examination with us, he transferred back to his ancestral home to take the college entrance examination before graduation. This ancestral home is the city where your parents live. Now he has finished college and lives there.

I remember a classmate who sent me a classmate address book with S's current phone number. I tried to give him a call. The call apparently took him by surprise.

He asked repeatedly on the phone, "Is that you?" Heart? Did I hear it right? Is it really you? Are you coming here? ”

He said, "I haven't heard from you for so many years!" You don't come to any party. ”

"However, I understand you very well," he said. Seeing us makes you feel the pain. ”

He said, "Will you see me now?" We have a lot of things to talk about with each other. ”

I hesitated. I said, "Okay, let's meet." ”

So, we made an appointment and agreed to meet at a bar near S's house.

S said he was married and had a baby. However, this time he will not bring his family over.

He said, "Just the two of us can talk for a while, it's more convenient to talk." ”

He said, "I know you're not here to socialize. ”

After all, they are close friends who grew up together, and after all, they have too many common experiences. S has always been the most considerate and understanding person among my classmates, and he has always given me timely and correct help when I am most in pain. Although I did not have as frequent and close relations with him as I did with Kaohsiung, I have always been as grateful to him as I am to Kaohsiung.

So, I said on the phone, "Thank you." ”

S said, "No thanks." Well, I'm looking forward to seeing you. We're done. Don't change your mind. Don't come again. Give me a chance, and give yourself a chance. ”

I was hesitating in my heart, maybe I would back down for a while?

When he said this, I was silent for a moment and replied, "Yes." I'll come, and I won't keep you waiting. ”