(a)

On that day I went to see you at your dwellings. Pen? Interesting? Pavilion wWw. ｂiquge。 ｉｎfo

At that time, you had just gone through the perils of death, returned from the hospital, called in sick, and recuperated in your accommodation.

It was a gloomy afternoon, with sand and rocks flying outside and a strong wind.

Along the way, you can see fallen leaves and pieces of paper on the ground swirling and flying in the wind.

I put a veil over my head to keep the dust out of my eyes, nose and ears. I shrunk my head and trotted all the way to the attic house where you lived. I climbed up from the fire escape in the back building, through the hallway, and gently opened your door with the key you gave me.

You're sitting in a chaise longue facing the window of the back building, quietly listening to the wind howling outside, watching the wind sweep through the treetops in gusts, all the foliage swaying outside the window.

You sit alone in a recliner with a blanket over your knees with bottles of painkillers. You quietly watch the world outside in turmoil.

Hearing the door open, you turn around and see me coming in.

With some difficulty, you grasp the armrests of the recliner and sit up slightly.

You greet me and say, "You're here." With such a strong wind, it still came all the way over. ”

You say, "Stay a little longer and go back, look at the movement outside, it may be raining soon." ”

I close the door and walk over to you. I said, "Why did you just come and drive me away?" ”

You say, "It's going to get wet when it's raining." ”

I said, "Whatever it is." By your side, no matter how stormy it is outside, my heart is quiet. ”

You point to the chair next to you, and you say, "Put down your bag and sit with me for a while." ”

I nodded and sat next to you.

At this time, I saw that you still had a roll of thread-bound books in your hand. It reads "The Book of Arrows".

I said curiously, "How do you feel today?" Have you just read this book? ”

You shake your head. You say, "I'm feeling good." Just a little bit weak. This book is for you to read. ”

I look at you in amazement. I said, "Do you know I'm coming over today?" ”

You smile. You say, "Of course." If I don't know this, how can I be your teacher? ”

(b)

I picked up the book, the raw-edged paper pale yellow and soft, with a warm sheen.

I carefully flipped it open.

I said, "Is it in Chinese?" What is this book about? ”

You say, "This is a book that teaches us a correct view of life and death." It depicts the reality of life and death that we deliberately avoid and do not want to face in life: life is extremely fragile. ”

You say, "Take it back and take a closer look." ”

I nodded and put the book in my bag.

I said, "I'll go get you a pillow, it'll be more comfortable leaning on the pillow." ”

I got up and went to the bed to get a pillow for you, put it behind your head, and helped you pull the blanket up a little bit to cover your abdomen. I said, "Cover it and you won't feel a cold stomach." ”

You say, "Thank you." ”

At this moment, I suddenly saw a little light outside the window.

I looked through the glass and was surprised to see that at some point, a burning candle appeared on the windowsill outside the glass.

The flame of the candle swayed sharply in the wind, and it was precarious.

I vaguely remember that when I sat next to you, there was not a single candle like this on the windowsill outside.

Did it come out of nowhere? Or did I just ignore it?

Were you looking at this candle before I came in?

While countless thoughts were spinning in my mind, you said to me, "Xinxin, do you see that candle outside the window?" ”

I nodded. I said, "Did you put it there?" When I first came in, it was like there was nothing there? ”

You didn't answer me positively to these two questions.

You continue to say to me, "Xinxin, look at the candle outside the window. That is our human life. ”

You say, "Our life is like this candle standing outside the window, the world is stormy, and the flame of the candle will be extinguished at any moment." ”

Before you could finish speaking, the flame on the candle was extinguished, leaving only a wisp of green smoke floating in the air. Even this wisp of green smoke was quickly blown away by the strong wind.

You say, "Xinxin, we don't know when the candle outside the window will go out." But we must know that the burning candle is only a temporary existence. Even if there is no unexpected wind, the candle burns to the end and the flame is extinguished. ”

You say: "Human life is like a bullet that we shoot when we shoot, we are born to pull the trigger, and from the moment we pull the trigger, life will rush on the road to death without looking back." ”

(c)

On that stormy afternoon, you gave me another lesson on the correct view of life and death.

Here are the teachings you did that day.

- "There's no need for us to get sick and get into trouble. If we are always unable to agree with the laws of nature and always fail to face our current situation, it will cause great psychological suffering. ”

- "How to understand death and how to meet it, such a state of mind is definitely not negative, knowing that it is bound to die, but always avoiding and facing it all your life, pretending that it will not happen, this kind of mentality is negative. ”

-- We must let go of the misconception that we and our loved ones must not die.

- "If you cry because of my death, you can only cry more and more painfully, and you will not bring any benefit to me who died, but will harm your own health." ”

- "The more you think that death is a bad thing, the stronger the power of death becomes." ”

- "No matter what kind of person dies, the sky does not fall. It's just a very ordinary thing, as ordinary as eating and drinking. ”

- "Death is like those leaves blown off in the wind, extremely ordinary and normal, nothing special. ”

- "Heart, we need to have a calm attitude towards normal and ordinary death. ”

You say, "The closer you are to death, the more important positive thoughts become." ”

You say, "It's like a big rock that, because of weathering, shattered into countless small stones." It will no longer be the way it was. Xinxin, I am already terminally ill and will not return to my original normal state. If I die, I will not return to this world in this image. If you are attached to this familiar image, you will fall into despair. You won't see it in this world again. But if you let go of the grief and attachment after my death, you will see that I still exist in this world in a different form. I kept leaving and returning in countless other forms. ”

You say, "When you are young, you have to think more about death." Long-term persistence in facing death will eliminate the arrogance and willfulness that young people often have, brush off arrogance and arrogance, and live a bright and calm life. ”

(iv)

At that time, I was still a little girl, and as Kaohsiung described, the development of breasts was still beginning and was not yet completed.

Many of the teachings you have spoken to me have been firmly in my mind, and I have revisited them again and again in the years that followed, trying to engrave them into my life.

However, many of your teachings, at the time, only touched me, and I did not understand them as deeply as I do today.

You know I couldn't understand it at the time. You know, just saying it once or twice won't make me remember it deeply.

So, in the last days of your life, in the days we spent with each other, you persevered, and said to me, over and over again, parable after parable, story after story.

In the time we spend together in this life, the time we spend talking about love with each other is very rare. Most of the time, you are teaching me a new world view, a new outlook on life, a new outlook on life and death, and values.

You are a well-deserved teacher of life. It is the enlightening teacher of the wisdom of my life.

(5)

One year, in order to entice me to enroll in his graduate studies in comparative religion, Wigg invited me to visit Trinity College.

When I went to meet Wigg at the entrance of Trinity College, I took a bus from London.

The bus I was on was driving to a junction when I saw a traffic accident that had just happened there. Although the scene had been initially cleaned up and there were no dead or injured lying on the ground, I could still see a large pool of scarlet blood on the ground through the car window.

It reminded me of the corpse I had seen lying on the rails when I was a teenager.

It was a very impactful sight. A young life that was alive half an hour ago is no longer in this world.

He had the same fate as you, dying at the wheel of the wheel.

I sat trembling in the seat of the bus, my hands clutching my computer bag, and the sharp pain in my heart permeated every cell in my body.

I felt intensely the extreme fragility and lightning shortness of life.

All the efforts we make to survive in this world are such ethereal things.

No matter how hard we try, life is always full of all kinds of suffering, and life will disappear in an instant.

I felt strongly that when I saw the misfortune of others, I also saw myself.