(a)

When I was a teenager, when you knew me, when we were together, we both liked to watch movies. Pen "Fun" Pavilion www.biquge.info

I've always loved watching movies, and then I got involved directly in the production of films.

I love watching movies for two reasons:

First, like writing, it has the function of "creating the universe". The countless memories and impressions left by real life in our minds, these elements, you can recombine them through scripts and shots, interpret and transform endless worlds and events, people are addicted to them, believe in them, and be guided by them.

Second, watching a movie is a very unique activity. Many people gathered in darkness, each immersed in their own lonely spiritual experience. In this kind of activity, you are both in a group and alone. There is light on the screen, but there is darkness around you.

The reason why you love watching movies is simple. You don't actually like the content of any movie. You like the movie format. You've always felt that it's a perfect teaching aid, a demonstration of the three thousand worlds, that can be used to help students understand the reality of our lives.

We watched a lot of movies together during our training time together.

Every time I watch a movie, you inspire me to leave the bizarre content and explore the truth hidden beneath that content.

Every time I watch a movie with you, it's a class that stimulates my heart and brain.

(b)

After you left, I still enjoyed watching movies. Because these reasons for liking movies haven't changed.

But I'm getting to see less.

As there were more and more movies, I watched fewer and fewer of them. Because, the same movie, as a stark reference, reflects that I watched the movie, has changed.

For quite some time after you left, I became exceptionally cold and cold when I watched the movie. No amount of genuine affection can bring me to tears. The audience sighed and was indifferent.

At that time, I was very panicked. I searched and searched in my heart, trying to find a little bit of the same tear as everyone else, even if it was only a drop. But I just can't find it, and my whole heart is as dry as the Sahara Desert. Not to mention tears, even water vapor is not served.

So, on more than one occasion, I turned around and left without watching the movie.

So, a lot of stories I don't know the ending.

Many of my friends have seen me leave so suddenly.

They thought I was leaving because I was feeling sad. But I didn't know that I was leaving because I didn't feel sadness.

On the other hand, it's hard for me to be amused by the content of the film.

It's often when people watch movies like Bean that I look particularly stunning. I didn't react to the laughter in the audience. When others are smiling all over the place, when they are laughing so much, I can't smile at all. Every time I have a moment like this, I feel extremely embarrassed. I can't help but pretend to smile in response and cooperate, but this pretense not only makes me sad to death, but also makes others see through it at a glance. So, the end result is usually that I can't see the end and have to leave.

This kind of departure has been repeated a lot, and both me and others have slowly realized that I shouldn't go to the movies anymore.

(c)

Later, the movie still didn't change, and my situation changed again.

After starting a partnership with Kaohsiung to do film-related business, and gradually entering the palace of film content creation under the leadership of Mr. Yichen, I slowly returned to my normal life as a viewer.

My coldness and hardness were suddenly gone. All of a sudden, I became extremely soft again.

When I watch any movie, I can be sad and happy.

I'm ashamed of that, but I can't control it.

Even if I watch a very lame, very far-fetched comedy movie, I can laugh out loud a lot. When no one else thinks it's funny, I laugh all the time.

I don't really think there's anything ridiculous in it, but at the same time I think it's ridiculous everywhere, even my own laughter and other people's inability to laugh is just as ridiculous.

When it comes to sad movies, it's even worse.

I still remember watching a Feng Xiaogang movie called "See You or Leave" at that time. There seems to be a plot at the end of the movie that made me cry a lot. But I forgot what it was now.

vaguely recalled, it seemed to be a fantasy of Ge You on the plane. After Ge You left a woman he cared about, he dozed off on the plane. In his sleepiness, he dreamed that he was old and sitting in a wheelchair in an old people's home, when he met the woman who had also grown old, and he could not remember what had happened to them. In the end, Ge You Huangliang woke up from a dream and found that the amorous Xu Fan was sitting next to him. The story ended happily and sadly.

At this time, Sun Nan raised his high-pitched and passionate voice and began to shout repeatedly: "See you and leave, see you and leave." ”

I don't think there's anything touching about this plot. But my tears flowed out all at once.

I was in the powerful sound of Sun Nan chanting "see you and not disperse", and I cried like a tearful person all of a sudden.

I kept crying like this until everyone in the screening room was gone, and the cleaners came in, and I couldn't stop. I can't hit the brakes.

Later, after I walked out of the movie theater, I walked alone on the streets for a long time in the middle of the night, and I cried as I walked. I've been crying for a long time, but I haven't cried enough.

I still don't understand why I cried like that. Don't understand.

(iv)

So, after that, I basically stopped watching movies except for work, and I basically left TV, and I was often confronted with books.

I'm slowly moving away from this habit. Even watching an open-air movie behind a screen again doesn't interest me.

So, when people repeatedly mention the names of many films to me, I always have to answer: I haven't seen them. Didn't look at it. Didn't look at it. Didn't look at it.

Even if I did, I replied: I didn't. Didn't look at it. Didn't look at it. Didn't look at it.

(5)

The last movie I watched was Garfield 2, which I watched after I started writing the story. I was watching it with others, and I didn't want to see it myself.

As I watched the film, I was relieved that I could still react the same way as anyone else. I was finally able to feel funny where others thought it was funny, I was finally able to be moved where others were moved, and I was finally able to feel sad in places where I didn't need to be moved. That's it, I'm in sync with my surroundings.

I heard my own laughter as Garfield and the prince of the castle tossed and turned across a bush imitating looking in a mirror.

It was happy laughter.

I recognized it immediately.

I haven't heard it in a long time. It's been so long. It's been too long.

But I'm not happy about it.

(f)

As someone who has been involved in the film industry, I still rarely watch movies except for the needs of work.

Without him, habits have changed. Too lazy to look.

Old people don't want to look in the mirror all the time. Probably because I am afraid that seeing things is wrong, and I am afraid of seeing the vicissitudes of time.

That's it.