In the company of the maid, I took a walk in the garden.

I hadn't gone far before I felt tired, wheezing, my chest was stuffy, and I couldn't breathe. Even though I was wrapped in a cape, I still felt cold.

The maid sensed my tiredness and said, "Isn't that tired?" Let's go and sit in the pavilion in front for a while. ”

I nodded. She helped me to the pavilion and sat down on the beauty.

I rubbed my hands together. The maid came and touched my hand and said, "Oh, why are your hands so cold?" She said, "I'll go back and help Miss get some thicker clothes, and Miss will sit here and rest, and don't walk around by herself." I'll be back soon. ”

I nodded and said, "Okay." Go get it. I'm waiting for you here. ”

The maid hurried back. I sat alone in the pavilion. I looked around the garden. My eyes fell on a side gate in the garden. I shivered all over my body again.

The side door led to the room where Jingyun raped me.

With this thought, I suddenly felt that I couldn't sit still.

I pushed the thought out of my head with all my might. I stood up, wrapped my cloak tightly, and slowly walked down the pavilion. I followed the path of the garden, towards the rockery, which was far away from the side door.

I said to myself, "Don't think about it, don't think about it." Think about the good things. For example, when you went to the barracks, you said that you would go to Huangsang Yukou today to meet Yu Wentao, and you would return home from Yukou early tomorrow morning. You're going home again. We're together again. ”

As I walked, I tried to think about the situation when you came back, and before I knew it, I had come to the rockery.

Suddenly, I heard someone whispering in a cave in the rockery.

I stood down. The sound of the conversation reached my ears without a word.

I listened to a few words, they were the two little guys in Jingyun's original yard. After Jingyun was kicked out of the house, the little guy in his courtyard was also dismissed and reassigned to errands.

They seem to be talking about the whereabouts of the eldest brother after he escaped from the house.

I held my breath and listened quietly.

It turned out that after the eldest brother escaped from home, he had been hiding in the house of a distant relative of his aunt. These days, my aunt has been secretly helping him with his clothes and food through the comings and goings of these two little girls.

Jingyun waited with a glimmer of hope for the news of my pregnancy, waiting for my father to forgive him and let him return home.

Finally, he waited for the news that I was confirmed to be pregnant. But with it, there is another piece of news: you don't care that I'm not chaste, you don't care that I'm pregnant, and you're willing to marry me.

When he heard the news from the little servant, he didn't speak for a while, and then he looked up to the sky and laughed wildly. He laughed so much that he cried.

His madness scared the little guy and the relatives out of his mind.

He laughed and cried: "I can't imagine that he doesn't even care about the women I have used!" He said, "I can't imagine that both of them are so obscene and shameless!" I didn't think my father would be confused like this! ”

I heard one of the little servants say, "When I heard this, the eldest prince laughed wildly and said to us, 'Don't be afraid, I'm not crazy.' The eldest prince said, how can I be willing to go crazy at such a wonderful moment. I'm not going to be crazy, I'm going to stay awake and see how my son becomes his son-in-law. ”

"The eldest prince said: If he wants to save that slut, he must accept my son as his son-in-law. The eldest prince looked up to the sky and laughed and said, God really has mercy on me. actually let me, a concubine, contribute a grandson to the Cui family. He said, "It's so exciting, I really want to go back and see the expressions on the faces of the two of them." What a wise decision I made that night. If I had known that this would solve the problem, I should have her a long time ago! Somebody is going to pick up these rotten shoes for me anyway. He was born to carry these rotten shoes for me! ”

The little guy was talking louder and louder. The other boy was frightened, and hurriedly reminded him, "Be quiet, can you say these things out loud casually?" If anyone hears about it, we will be miserable. ”

The little guy before was a little scared when he said this. "Let's go out and see if anyone around hears it," he said. ”

Then I heard footsteps. I was startled, and hurried out of the place where I was standing, and I quickened my pace to go as far as I could, wanting to return to the pavilion.

When I was about to reach the edge of the rockery, I suddenly stepped on a piece of moss, and my feet slipped, and I immediately sat down on the ground.

I felt an unbearable pain in my lower back. It rushes like lightning down the nerves to the brain. I couldn't help but snort softly.

However, the sound of footsteps continued to be heard behind him. I gritted my teeth and struggled to get up, and continued to walk.

I finally got back to the pavilion. I was condescending from afar, and I saw two little guys wandering between the rockeries for a while, and without finding anyone, they sneaked to the other side.

I breathed a sigh of relief. I felt a strong soreness in my lower back again. It ran over the nerves in bursts of formation.

I was unsteady on my feet, so I had to hold on to the pillar and slowly sit down on the beauty lean. I reached out and held my back in excruciating pain, gritting my teeth and waiting for the pain to pass.

At this time, the maid who had gone to get the clothes returned. She brought the white fox fur shawl that Jingyun gave me that time. She said: "It's warm, and it's not cold when you wrap around the cloak." ”

When I saw the white fox fur shawl, my heart twisted again. I'd love to push that shawl away. But my back was so sore that I didn't have the strength to push her.

The maid looked at my face and said, "Miss, are you not feeling well?" The face is so bad? ”

I said, "Nothing. I think it's so cold outside, it's a little unbearable, let's go back. ”

The maid came and carefully supported me.

We slowly returned to the small building.

I lay on my own bed.

I said, "I'm sleepy and want to sleep for a while." Go down first. ”

That day, when I came back, I stayed in bed and never got up.

The back pain is getting stronger. But I don't want to tell them. No. I still can't have this child. The words of Jingyun described by the little guy stung me deeply.

He has not repented at all, he is still proud, he is still proud that he has finally achieved his despicable purpose by using me, and he is still full of hostility towards you.

This child in my belly is Jingyun's species, maybe he inherited Jingyun's poison. In the future, if he knows his life experience, if he is instigated by Jingyun and has the same heart with Jingyun, then what will you encounter?

Will Jingyun hurt you again through this child?

Again, I remembered that you had been beaten by him and fell to the ground, bleeding all over the ground.

No! I shouldn't be soft-hearted! I must not allow his plot to succeed, and he should not gain anything out of it. Only I, only I, can frustrate all his plots and make him fall into the abyss where he should have been. He deserves to be punished!

I didn't mean to kill this child. I fell and ached, it was providential. Heaven doesn't want me to leave this seed behind, to bring shame to your present and worry to your future.

I just have to do with the will of God. I just have to hold back and wait for things to develop.

I said to the baby in my womb in my heart, "If you are supposed to be born, you should be okay this time and be able to survive." If you weren't supposed to be born, let's all accept our fate. ”

No matter how uncomfortable I was, I was determined not to speak up and wait for Heaven to make the final choice for me.

That night, I didn't know if I was asleep or not, my mind was in a mess, as if there were thousands of scenes and thoughts bustling past me, but I didn't remember anything. I felt like I was awake all along, but I wasn't sure.

I was mired in internal mess and conflict.

I felt myself caught between wanting to do whatever it took to love this moving being and removing this restless humiliation, and I was pierced by the blades of contradiction.