(a)

In my life as Esabelle Chen, I am an equestrian expert.

I own 12 private horse farms around the world, and I have a lot of valuable horses.

Ever since my father gifted me an £800,000 white Andalusian pony on my 14th birthday, my love for horses and equestrianism has been unstoppable ever since.

As I traveled around the world, I searched for a wide variety of horses, and eventually I owned more than 200 horses. The cheapest of them is also worth more than £2 million.

When I was 16 years old, I rode an American speedwalk horse named the Lightning Elf and won my first competition prize in an amateur equestrian competition.

Since then, I have won prizes in small equestrian competitions.

Even though I often ride warmblood horses in equestrian competitions, it's the warmblood horses that I really love in my heart.

Of all the horses I own, I particularly love two of them:

A very beautiful thoroughbred Arabian horse, which I named "Moonlight". Its beautiful appearance will be remembered by all who have seen it, it has strong limbs, well-developed chest, and a distinctive tail like a dust whisk in the hands of an immortal. It has excellent stamina and can run long distances for two days and two nights without the slightest fatigue. It also runs in an unusually graceful manner, as if it is suspended in the air. When it is excited or courageous, it especially likes to fly its front hooves into the air and the mane on its neck flutters in the wind, naturally revealing its natural elegance. Every time it does this, I can't help but be thrilled by the beauty it shows;

The other is a perfectly shaped, light-boned, and extremely muscular British thoroughbred, which I named "Blaze". It's one of the fastest horses I've ever run. At the age of 2 years, it shows a highly excitable sensitivity. It starts very fast, and can be up to 6 meters away from the first step of running. When it reaches adulthood, it can often reach speeds of more than 60 kilometers per hour. His best time of 1000 meters is 53 seconds!

These two horses are the love of my life. I love them as much as I love my own life, and I spend at least $30 million a year raising them.

I often rode one of them on my own horse farm and drove all the way away.

When I ride one, I take the other with me.

I often rode them around the pastures.

I rode them over all kinds of obstacles, and I ran with them to great distances.

I bask with them in the rays of the sun before it sinks into the earth.

The speed of the wind made me feel the reality of the world.

I can only feel the reality of the world when it is rapidly receding behind me.

In fact, all my life, as much as I loved speed, I never liked racing.

In addition to my natural aversion and fear of cars, I also don't like to sit in the middle of a cold machine, lying low and running for my life with a bulky helmet.

I think it's more like some kind of death or escape.

I like the uprightness, the confidence, the warmth and the companion-like spiritual understanding on horseback.

I love to experience the support and friendship of other creatures in the middle of the flight.

This is one of the most common ways I fight against inner loneliness.

As you can see, all my hobbies in that life were related to distant memories of you and waiting for you.

I fly around you just as the moon flies around the earth and the earth flies around the sun.

I believe that as long as I keep flying in the direction you are in, I will surely meet you again in samsara one day.

(b)

In my life as Esabelle Chen, I was married once before I was 31 years old.

My marriage lasted only a short time, and when I came out of it, I felt a deeper emptiness, a deeper loneliness than before.

I felt like I was frozen in some kind of eternal ice, from which I could not be freed.

As the only daughter of a billionaire urn, I was surrounded by numerous men at a very young age.

I've never been around a man in my life who has pursued me.

- I should say that there are a lot of men who are actually very good, and they are attracted to me, and they are not necessarily attracted to the money I represent.

I've always known that there are very sincere people among them. At least, there was a moment of deep sincerity during the time of pursuing me.

Just as cold people are easily attracted by the fires of winter, it is difficult for me not to be attracted by these constant diligence and love in the midst of loneliness and loneliness.

The companionship and protection of men, like some torches, illuminate the lonely journey of thousands of years of darkness. It's hard for me not to feel grateful for some of this care in return.

So, from a very young age, I began to have a close boyfriend.

But it's hard for me to build a solid, long-term relationship with any man.

I change my boyfriend as often as I change my clothes.

People often mistakenly think that this is the way of life of our class. But that's not the case. The truth is that our way of life tends to be more conservative and traditional than that of the common people.

I often change boyfriends, and that's entirely for my personal reasons, and it doesn't really have much to do with class values.

Every time I change men, there is only one reason: because that person is not you.

I always subconsciously identify in people those traits that you used to have.

As Kaohsiung said to me in my previous life, I always try to find a substitute for you in the world – when you are not by my side.

Sometimes I approach someone because they look like you, sometimes I approach someone because they sound like you, sometimes I approach someone because they walk like you, sometimes I approach someone because they look like you, sometimes I approach someone because they happen to say something you once said, sometimes I approach someone because they happen to do something that you used to do.

I've seen bits and pieces of you in many men.

I've experienced a moment of sensation that you bring me in many men.

I have chased your shadow in vain over many men. As soon as they show a little bit of something like you, I'm attracted to it, and I can't help but look at that point, and I can't help but want to pursue it in that direction. I can't help but wonder if that person will be you in the next life.

I'm always sad about this mentality.

This mentality of mine has also made many others sad.

Again and again I seem to recognize you in the sea of people in this life.

I have found again and again that there is no such thing as you in the sea of people in this life.

I fell into disappointment again and again. I've also let others down again and again.

Ever since I was in high school, my boyfriend has been changing like a marquee. In the end, not only did my servants, secretaries, and relatives not know which of them was which, but sometimes, even I couldn't remember which of them was.

They seem to have become a thousand people.

The only thing I remember vividly is that they all resemble you in some ways, but they are not all you in general.