(a)

You look at the food on the table. You didn't move the chopsticks.

Wu Shun said: "Why do you eat so little all the time? Still have a bad appetite and can't eat? I've boiled several pairs of appetizing medicines, but why don't I see the effect. ”

You say, "I eat every day." ”

Wu Shun said: "Just eat like this, when will you be able to return to your original state." You have to eat to gain weight. Look at the mirror for yourself, how big the gap is between you and when you were in Qingchuan before. ”

You say, "Everything is subject to change." ”

Wu Shun looked at you, not knowing what to say to make you feel better.

You look at the food on the table and say, "I don't know what Father and Qin'er are doing at this time, they must be eating too." Now, the family is sparse and scattered, and she is probably the only one who is eating with her father. ”

Wu Shun looks at you.

You say, "I miss them a lot." I miss my father very much. Miss her so much. ”

When Wu Shun heard this, his nose suddenly became sore, and tears almost fell.

He remembered Shizu's words, held back his tears, and persuaded: "Then you have to work harder to eat more and get better as soon as possible." If you get better, we can go home. ”

You say, "Junko, I'm not going to be fine." ”

You say, "I can't go back to my old life." In the future, it will be a different way. ”

Wu Shun didn't know about your conversation with Dao Ji after you were rescued.

So he said, "Young master, why do you suddenly say such things that make people feel sad to hear them?" Every day, aren't we all recovering? Isn't it getting better? ――Don't you still think it's good? ”

You say, "It's still there." I can feel it. It followed me like a shadow. In every word, in every movement, in every swallow, in every breath. ”

You say, "It won't leave me for the rest of my life." ”

Wu Shun looked at you worriedly. He said, "What's wrong with you?" ”

You are silent for a moment.

You say, "Still, it's not that big of a deal." That's all, that's all. ”

You look at Wu Shun.

You reach for your chopsticks. You say, "I'll eat as much as you wish." ”

You say, "But that's it, it doesn't matter." ”

(b)

"Eat a little more, father." I added a small half bowl of porridge to my father.

I said, "You've been eating less and less lately." ”

My father said, "I'm old, I don't have to eat so much." ”

I said, "If my brother comes back well, it will hurt to see your father so thin." ”

I said, "Just think of me as him, this half bowl of porridge is what he added to you." Eat a little more for him. ”

My father looked at me and said, "Qin'er, good daughter." Well, I'll eat a little more. ”

He said, "How can my father bear to let you endure your worries and sorrows, and persuade me every day." ”

He said, "My father wanted you to have a happy life. However, my father was not able to do so. I can only look at you, from one unbearable pain to another. ”

The father said, "My two sons, have brought you so much heartache. ”

I turned my head away. I struggled to hold back the tears that welled up in my eyes.

Oh, yes. Whether it's hate, or love, it's the same. Whether it's bitter from the beginning, or whether there's sweetness before bitterness, they're all the same. They're all painful. One is the pain of not being sugar-coated, and the other is the pain of being sugar-coated.

(c)

"Write her something." While helping you study the ink, Wu Shun said to you, "You obviously want to write it for her, and you know that she is eager for news from you." ”

Wu Shun said: "Even if it's just one sentence. Or just a few words. ”

You look at him.

Wu Shun said: "You are glaring at me, I also want to say it." ”

You put down the pen.

Wu Shun said: "Do you remember what you said when you gave me this Chinese name? ”

Wu Shun said: "What you mean by this name is: to conform to your heart. ”

Wu Shun said: "Don't treat her like this. Let her share everything yours. That's what she wants. ”

You say, "But, Junko, life and death are everyone's." No one else can share it. ”

(iv)

More than a month after you went to Qingchuan, your family received a handwritten letter from you to report your safety. This means that you are finally able to get out of bed and move freely.

Your letter is addressed to the Father. Greetings to me are mentioned in it. You didn't write me a single word.

After reading the letter, my father looked at me.

I lowered my eyes. I looked at the ground and was silent.

The father said, "Son, sometimes we love someone in a way that we don't say anything to her anymore. ”

The father said, "Don't look at his performance, look at his heart." ”

The father said, "No matter how he behaves, you have to remember, but look at his heart." ”

(5)

The father said, "Qin'er, do you want to write something for him?" ”

I picked up my pen and wrote the word "altogether" at the end of my father's letterhead, which was divided into two halves.

The two halves of the dismantling are half on one side of the letter and half on the other side of the letter.

(f)

You read your father's letters.

You look at the word "total" that I wrote on both sides.

You get the idea of what I'm trying to say: no matter how far apart, life and death are common to everyone.

Life and death together will not change because they are far apart.

I say to you in this word: life and death together will not change because of the distance, or your deliberate estrangement.

You have to understand that it doesn't change because of that.