(a)

Get out of the playing field. Pen Fun Pavilion www.biquge.info I walked alone along the path we usually went home.

I think of the "landscape of the future" that Wang said.

The scene of us being together before me resurfaced.

The car was driving on the winding road to Bosang.

You finished handing out drinking water and sat down in the empty seat next to me.

I looked back at you from the window.

You say, "Look at the scenery?" ”

I said, "Hmm. I've never seen a snowy mountain before. ”

You say, "What does it feel?" ”

I said, "It's holy." It's solemn. ”

You smile. You look out the window with me.

After a while, you say, "Actually, these are not landscapes. ”

My eyelashes fluttered. I'm looking at you. I whispered, "What is it?" ”

You say, "It's the heart." ”

I'm looking at you.

You smile again. You unscrew a bottle of water. You take a sip. You see I'm still looking at you. So, you say, "This is too." The me you see is not an external projection, but also an inner one. ”

I asked, "So, what is the outside world?" If everything is inside, what is outside? ”

You say, "When we don't know that they're all inside, they're all outside." ”

With that, you laugh again.

You get up from your seat. You say, "I'll go to the front." ”

I watched you stand up. I watched you leave your seat. I watched you walk along the aisle in the car towards the front.

I'm watching your back in the long carriage.

I watched you walk to the front of the car. You talk to the driver. You talk to Director Wang.

You sit down next to Director Wang.

You're blocked by the high back of your chair and out of sight.

I turned my eyes out the window again.

The scent of the forest poured in from the window like a tidal wave. Countless shades of green pass by.

"Not the view. It's the heart. I said to myself, "It's the heart." ”

The sights of the past fade away. The landscape on both sides of the path became clear again.

"Is everything heart?" I asked myself.

Is our encounter, our separation, just something that happens on the inside?

Could it be that you are here to tell me this important thing?

(b)

The sunset hangs in front of the sky.

My shadow was cast on the pavement behind me, stretched long.

I feel like I'm hearing the sound of your bicycle flywheel again.

We have walked on this path too many times, and those memories have been recorded by the magnetic field of nature into every leaf on the side of the road, every bluestone under our feet. They are being replayed over and over again in nature.

When my mind stays on that right band, I can see in everything that is being replayed, the past self.

"Have you decided? Not going to race this time? You ask.

I said, "Yes." I decided. ”

You say, "If you don't have a major tournament, your annual ranking will drop dramatically." After all the good results in the subsequent races, there is still a possibility that they will not be able to catch up. ”

I said, "I know." ”

You say, "That means you haven't earned any extra points for this year's training." ”

I said, "I know." ”

"Why are you so resolute?" You ask.

I said, "Because the recent form has been so bad." I don't want to keep the whole team behind and let the whole team drop down every game. It's not fair to everyone. Everyone has trained as hard as they can, and they're all in good shape. You can't let them lose what they deserve because of me. ”

You look at me, and you make a look of deep regret.

"I should have reported to you beforehand. I'm sorry I didn't listen to your opinion and decided on my own. I said apologetically.

You smile. You say, "The mentor is the one who helps you make decisions, not the ones who make decisions for you." You can plan and act later, not blindly, and I am very happy to have such clarity and calmness. ”

"You really don't blame me?" I say.

You say, "Of course." It is a good act for you to sacrifice yourself for the sake of everyone. ”

I'm looking at you.

You say, "I'm still a little sad, though. It's not because you didn't ask for my opinion, it's not because your choice doesn't meet my expectations. ”

You say, "Actually, I'm saddened that you decided to sacrifice yourself for the betterment of everybody instead of overcoming yourself for the sake of everybody." ”

I bowed my head.

You say, "Such a choice, although selfless, is a little timid, and it is not brave." ”

You say, "What do you think?" Isn't that so? ”

I was silent for a moment and whispered, "Yes." That's right. ”

"I, I, am I always letting you down?" I say.

We are opposite each other. You look at me.

I feel your gaze fall on my hair.

You looked at me for a while while pushing the cart, and you didn't speak.

I felt like the breeze blowing through my skin was like a thousand fine needles pricking.

I saw you smile.

You say, "Don't be so discouraged. Actually, when we give up something, we can't go without it. ”

I look up at you.

You say, "When you give up the annual overall ranking, you gain the ability to let it go." ”

I opened my mouth slightly.

You look at my expression. You smile again. You say, "So, although I have a little regret, you have not let me down. ”

You say, "It's also a form of growth." ”

You say, "Xinxin, you have never let me down." ”

You say, "Really." ”

I said, "Guide, you may be the only one in the world, and you will never be disappointed in me." ”

I said, "Really." Even myself am often disappointed in myself. ”

You smile. You say, "Well, you're aligned with me, how about that?" In the future, don't be disappointed in yourself. ”

Dear guide. I am now deeply ashamed and disappointed by my performance.

Perhaps, in this life, I still do not have the ability to be like you, my heart is always full of warmth and strength, and I have never let the darkness obscure the inner light.

Perhaps, I will never be as strong as you.

Why do you always believe that I can do it? You must have seen something in my cowardly and wavering exterior, in the endless chaos of my heart, that I have not yet seen, and you must have seen it in my body and mind, and you must have seen it as clearly as the pattern on the palm of my hand. This thing, too, is present in you, and it is the source of all your insights, all your strength, all your functional applications of the extraordinary world, all your warmth, all your strength. Because you see it in me as clearly as the sculptor Rodin sees the hidden statue in the stone, you can always be steadfast and unwavering in your absolute belief that you will have the same heart and the same power that you once had. I just haven't found it yet. Once I find it, once I understand how to make it function, I can do exactly what you do. Not only me, but all living beings contain it within it, and as long as you see, as long as you understand, all of them can be fully activated as you have shown.

However, this realization is something that I only have now. At that time, Idealism had not yet reached the age of 16, she only saw the disillusionment of love and the disappearance of her lover, and she had not seen the thing that you had been doing everything possible to lead her to see.

Therefore, she was still skeptical and shaken in her heart that day.

What she was thinking in her heart was: "I was by your side, but I was not able to do it, and now, I am alone, and there is no longer your teaching, your blessing, and your protection, do I still have any hope to finally do it?" ”