(a)

I silently sat down on the chair across from Director Wang. Pen ~ fun ~ pavilion www.biquge.info

I know that this is the last time in my life that I will sit in this position, in this room.

I can't afford to suffer like this a second time. If I get closer to this training ground, if I see you in every detail of everything, if I face such contrasting objects and people again, my heart will stop beating, and this time, I will never be able to recover.

I can't survive here anymore.

In my desperate silence, Director Wang said sadly: "I'm sorry, heart. I know it's all because of me. If I hadn't been moved by Principal Cheng, if I hadn't begged him to stay for a few more days, if I hadn't agreed to this game, nothing would have happened. I'm sorry, but I caused it. I knew that his body could no longer support him, but I still, I knew that as long as I opened my mouth, he would never refuse. ”

He said remorsefully, and couldn't help but burst into tears, he said: "I have obviously heard him talk about that wall many times, he said it so obviously, but, but I have always been suspicious, I have not paid attention, I, have done nothing, I, nothing has helped him!" ”

He said, "But I really didn't expect that it would, and it would ..... in the end."

He couldn't go on.

I can't listen to it anymore.

Once again, we are engulfed in suffocating pain.

After a long while, Director Wang said, "You hate me." I did it! I traded his last pain for a large sum of money, much more than I had originally imagined. Mr. Brown doubled his gratitude, reverence, and apology for him in the form of money. The money could be used to rebuild another training ground and form another shooting team. He used his life and his great pain to repay all the kindness he thought he owed to the school. ”

Director Wang said: "But I can't spend this money, I can't use it to do anything, because I feel that my hands are bloody, and every new thing and newly renovated facility is full of his last bloody breath..... I, I understand your mood at the moment. Because, I come to work every day, and my mood is the same as you are at the moment. Seeing things and thinking about people, ten thousand regrets ......"

Once again, he couldn't go on.

(b)

"Xinxin, hate me. I've been hating myself all these days. Director Wang said with a sob.

I shook my head. I said, "It's not your fault. This has a long history and is beyond our imagination. Guide yourself to understand why. It's just that because its origin is so old, it is difficult to explain it in words. ”

I said, "Don't blame yourself like that. When the guide sees you so sad, he will also be sad in his heart. ”

Director Wang wept silently. He said, "I'm sorry, Xinxin. ”

He said, "Come back." We are a team. We have lost him and cannot lose you again. ”

I shook my head slowly again. I said, "It's me who should say I'm sorry." ”

I said, "Because, I'm not here to train." ”

Grief choked the throat again.

I suppressed my desire to cry.

I said again, "I have come to ask for your forgiveness and to say goodbye to you." ”

I said, "Instructor Wang, I want to quit the shooting team, and in the future, I won't come to train anymore." ”

I said, "Before I came here, I told my homeroom teacher, Mr. Li, about it. I'm about to enter my graduating class. I chose the liberal arts class, hoping to get the top liberal arts in the province for the school in the joint entrance examination, and I also hope that I can be admitted to the university of my choice and the ideal major. Time is going to be tight, and it's hard to do both. Besides, the university I wanted to go to no longer had a professional shooting team. Even if I don't quit, after a year, I will be forced to give up my professional skills in shooting. ”

I said, "Teacher Li said that she respects and will support my decision. ”

I said, "Director Wang, I hesitated for a few days before I made up my mind to come and tell you about this. I know it's going to make you sad and it's going to affect our whole team this year and next year. However, things in the world are like this, and sometimes, you can't have the best of both worlds. I hope you will understand and agree to my withdrawal. ”

Director Wang looked at me.

I paused for a moment and then said, "Moreover, he has been carrying me since I joined the team, and I am so used to his style and line that I feel that I can't adapt to the new direction." If I lose my original route, it will be difficult for me to make progress and maintain my level. If you stay, you won't make a big contribution, and you should give the opportunity to the new students. ”

Director Wang was silent for a while, and then he said, "I can understand. I can understand all that you say to me, and everything you don't say. ”

He said, "Xinxin, do you remember when you came to my office a few years ago and asked to join the shooting team? ”

Tears flowed down my face. I nodded.

"When I think about it now, it feels like it just happened yesterday," he said. ”

He said: "Are you going to give up the whole sport of shooting too? ”

He said, "You're not going to like it anymore, are you?" ”

I nodded. I said, "I still like it." However, since then, this love has been mixed with a lot of unbearable patience. I can't, I have to make trade-offs. ”

I said, "I ......."

I can't go on.

I had to survive first. If I come here again, I won't be able to hold on. Countless memories will engulf me. It has been a long time since I met you. The mourning of gaining and losing, using all the words in the world, cannot be described and transmitted.

That's definitely not the average bereavement pain that can be compared!

"After graduation, you'll never come back to your alma mater, right?" ”

I bowed my head and said nothing.

Yes. I'll never come back. For me, it has become a vacuum without air. As soon as I enter this barrier, I will die of anger.

I had to run away. I would leave the shooting team, go to a new school far away, never come back here and never live in this city again.

I will seal myself up layer by layer, and I will no longer touch the people and things of the past as if they never existed, and forget them as much as possible.

Director Wang said, "Will you still be willing to see me again?" ”

I bowed my head and said nothing.

Director Wang knew my answer. He remembered the trust you had given him, the wooden box you had given him, and you said to him, "When you die, I will quit the shooting team and go away." But, you believe, I'll come back and face all this. I'm not going to run away forever. One day, I will find that strength and return to the place where I fled, through this wall of pain.

But how long will it take?