(a)

After the Battle of Dru Lake, Liu Shen gave you a mansion in Yunjing.

However, you only lived in it during the days when you came back to see me for the last time. The rest of the time, it's ownerless.

Uncle Ding Youren has chosen a capable butler with dozens of male and female servants to help you take care of and guard the mansion.

When you die, it will remain empty because you have no children.

Later, Liu Shen succeeded our fourth son to you, and our son moved to the palace by order, and it became lively and popular.

After you came back from Qingchuan, you went to the city, in the barracks, on the battlefield, you almost never enjoyed the glory and wealth of the world. You enjoy almost nothing, and you end your short life.

When Liu Shen was alive, I only went to that mansion when I held a funeral for you. It's not huge, it's not majestic, it's a very elegant and simple architectural style. It is in a deep alley, with a bluestone pavement in front of the door, and a lot of tethered rings on the pale gray brick walls. Compared with the many magnificent princely mansions in Yunjing, it is not eye-catching at all.

Later, when Liu Shen's dynasty overturned, large-scale bloody massacres took place in the alleys where the princes and ministers lived, and every household was crying and screaming, and rivers of blood flowed, and the streets and alleys were littered with fires and fallen corpses.

Only this alley remained cold and quiet in the dark.

The rebels placed guards at the entrance of the alley to prevent the rebels from approaching the mansion.

My children, grandchildren, and their families hid in the courtyard with bated breath.

In the darkness of the night, they listened to the hoofs and screams of horses in the neighboring alleys, and watched the firelight illuminate the night sky, and everyone shrank and trembled, and did not dare to make a sound. They hugged each other tightly, staring at the gate in fear, waiting for the raging tide of rebels to break through it.

However, nothing happened. Not a single soldier approached the house. Because, in name, it's yours.

Those soldiers of the Northern Han New Army, although they betrayed Liu Shen's descendants, they still respect you, and therefore, they did not harm or destroy all things closely related to you, including my mausoleum, my son and his dependents, including the empty chairs on the main hall, including the temples and murals of the god of war in various places, including, your tombstone without any words.

In this way, although you died early while we were still alive, you are still alive in people's hearts after we are all dead.

Not only did you protect me when I was alive, but you still protect me after I die, even after we're all dead.

Selflessness and fearlessness are the best protection in the world.

(b)

You came out of the palace and returned to your Lingnan Palace.

The butler arranged by Ding Youren for you has long led a group of male and female servants to line up in front of the gate to welcome your return.

You briefly thanked the butler and servants for their hard work in taking care of the house, rewarded everyone, and then toured the whole mansion with the butler.

You follow the butler into your bedroom. It's very simple, similar to the one you have in your lunch break room at the Yantang Pass General Soldier's Mansion. You know that my uncle told the housekeeper.

When you see the bed, you lose all your strength and can't walk anymore. The deep fatigue of galloping day and night for days and days gushes out again, engulfing your whole body and mind.

You pale and say, "Good." It's very well furnished and clean. You've worked hard. ”

You say, "I'm so tired." I want to sleep. Go down, all of you. Everything else, except for urgent military affairs, will be talked about when I wake up. ”

As you spoke, you fell headlong on the bed, never wanting to move again.

The housekeeper looked at Wu Shun.

Wu Shun said: "Help him take off his boots, close the curtains, cover the quilt, and let the idlers go out and let him sleep." ”

Before Wu Shun's words were finished, you were already asleep.

What happened next, you have absolutely no idea.

(c)

You wake up. You open your eyes and look at the lights. Wu Shun's shadow swayed slightly on the wall.

You say, "Junko, why didn't you go to rest?" ”

Wu Shun said: "Are you awake? Want to drink some water? Your lips are chapped. ”

"I'm not tired," he said. Seeing that you are very tired, I am afraid that you will not feel well, so it is more comfortable to stay here. Over the years, I have often been fighting outside, so there are fewer and fewer opportunities to keep you guarded. ”

You want to get up. Wu Shun said: "It's still early, you can sleep again." It's hard to travel day and night these days. ”

You say, "What about the medicine?" ”

Wu Shun said, "Here." I've got it for you. ”

Wu Shun is waiting for you to take your medicine. You put down the medicine bowl. You say, "I can't sleep." ”

Wu Shun said: "Did you enter the palace and see Mrs. Jun?" Miss, is she okay? ”

You shake your head.

You say, "Maybe I'm doing something wrong." Maybe it's not the best for her right now. ”

You say, "What's best?" ”

You close your eyes.

Wu Shun looked at it, and his heart was full of deep understanding and sympathy.

You say sadly, "It's too late to think about it now." ”

(iv)

"Young master, take the young lady out of the palace for a few days." Wu Shun said, "Think of a way to take her out for a few days." She had been closed in that tomb for so long that she was about to suffocate. Let her go out and breathe, and leave those who suffocate her. She'll feel better. ”

Wu Shun said: "You can also talk well. In that cold royal city, there are always too many people. “

You looked at Wu Shun and didn't speak.

Wu Shun said: "Let her take a breath by your side." Later, she still has such a long life to struggle alone. ”

You nodded silently.

Wu Shun said: "I'll let Mr. Xu and Brother Tianliang help you arrange it." It's just that Concubine Taishu, King Han, you have to go and say yes in person. ”

You look at Wu Shun, and you say, "Shunzi." ”

Wu Shun said: "Isn't it good to arrange it like this? ”

You shake your head. You say, "That's a good arrangement." ”

You say, "Lately, I've been wondering, Junko, what would my life be like without you being by my side all the time." ”

(5)

The room was steaming. You lie down in a wooden tub and bathe.

"Is the water any hotter?" Wu Shun said.

You shake your head.

Wu Shun looks at you. "We're just outside," he said. Something to call us. ”

You nodded.

You lean your head back on a wooden sleeper. Moisture envelops your face. You breathe in the warm air. You look at the white vapour.

You think about the me you saw during the day. You think of me standing on the cliff in horror. You think that everyone in the family is fine, and there is no unhappy me. You think about me standing in the courtyard with a yarn lantern waiting for you to come back. You think of me galloping on my horse and flying skirts. You think of me who is tied to a pillar and blindfolded.

You want to get rid of your father and shoot the sleeve arrow at Jing Yun. You want to hide your right hand behind your back and stand up and watch me as you walk through the door, tears streaming down your shoulder. You think of me, slumped on the ground through the door, silently grief-stricken. You think of me with the little flowers blooming under the cliff on my head. You want to take off the amulet and put it back on me. You think about me looking at those blooming peach blossoms beside Liu Shen.

After all these days of separation, you have never indulged yourself in thinking of me like this. You've been trying not to think about me. As soon as my shadow appears, you try to push it away. You've never allowed yourself to spend so much time thinking about me.

You have been building this wall, this dam, for years, but on the first day we met again, it fell apart. I fill your heart. You can no longer resist the spring of water that I am bubbling from your heart. You can no longer resist the surging of your heart, and you miss it to the bone.

You say in your heart, "Qin'er, I'm sorry. I had to leave you alone in Yunjing. Had to leave you alone in this world. I had to leave you. Had to leave your life. I can't grow old with you. I can't carry you with you when you're gray. All these paths that I promised to walk with you, I have not had the opportunity to walk. You have to go alone. You have to be brave enough to go it alone. ”‘

Tears run down your cheeks. You lean against the mist of the room, letting the tears run down your cheeks.

It is difficult to say goodbye when we meet, and the east wind is powerless. The spring silkworm is dead to the end, and the wax torch turns to ash and tears begin to dry.

Those who can conquer the world are not heroes. Those who can control themselves are the real heroes.